Dragonball: Total War: Death Saiyan
by GeordieLadPaul1
Summary: When 'The Noise' threatens to take over Capsule Corp and the Son residences, the Saiyans take drastic measures to stop it. They form a rock group...
1. The Infernal Sound Of Progress

**Death Saiyan (Total War 1.5)**

**AN:** Me and Shindo were watching 'Kerrang!' and MTV2, and we started wondering what would happen if the Saiyans were at a Nu Metal concert. We saw much carnage, and the death of bands like P.O.D., A, and Linkin Park, to name but three. If you are a hardcore fan of Nu-metal, then don't bother reading on because you will only be offended. If you think the majority of Nu-Metal is crap, then keep reading.

PS. Sorry about the block text. I posted the wrong file onto FF.net – it was a .txt instead – my bad. I've posted this one again, and made a couple of minor changes. Sorry about that, everyone.

- Paul

Chapter One – The Infernal Sound of Progress

Vegeta stormed through the Capsule Corporation headquarter-building, fuming and angry. Bulma trotted after him quickly, Bra, now a year old and still the apple of both her parents' eyes, held firmly in her arms.

"Vegeta, what's wrong?" she asked, shouting to be heard over 'The Noise,'

"I… I can't take it anymore!" the Prince said, a vein in his temple throbbing slightly as he shouted to be heard also.

"I know, but you have to be brave. It'll only last another hour or so!" Bulma said, holding her husband by the shoulder to try and sooth him. The muscles under his bare skin were tense, to the point of shuddering slightly to every variation in 'The Noise'. Bulma had noticed that he had been that way ever since Yamcha had introduced the boys, that is, Goten, Trunks and Applor, to music.

"An HOUR?!" Vegeta screamed, his hair bursting golden as the sudden horror of spending another hour of this infernal racket hit his brain. "But my I can already feel my brain becoming numb!"

"What brain…" Bulma muttered to herself.

"What was that?" Vegeta asked sceptically.

"Nothing dear," Bulma said sweetly and smiling. Vegeta just 'hmmphed' to himself and turned away, heading into his gravity chamber and flicking the soundproofing on. Bulma had installed that a year previously after the Saiyans who had joined the Z Fighters (Namely, Brolli, Raditz, Nappa, Turlus, Applor, Cukumbri, Fru and Tomatta) wanted somewhere to train. She had also enlarged it, and it was now almost as large as the Son household.

Prince Vegeta turned around and almost jumped as he saw a group of men watching him, their bodies coated with sweat.

"What is it, Vegeta?" Raditz asked, a towel wrapped around his broad shoulders and a hose in his hand. That had been one of the other additions. A water font hadn't been enough water for them, and Goku had insisted some sort of machine that produces lots of water. Muttering, Bulma had just decommissioned the Gravity Room and called the plumbers in to add a tapline to the main water pipes and fixed a hose to the spout. Problem solved.

"Nothing, just trying to get away from that infernal noise," Vegeta muttered, stretching out in the high gravity, the high forces already managing to sooth his muscle slightly. Either that, or it was the soundproofing. Vegeta guessed it was the later.

"Oh yeah, Chi-Chi threw the kids out the house yesterday, she said that all that noise was giving her a headache," Raditz said.

"Yes, and we _all_ know what happens when she gets a headache," Brolli muttered. All the others went silent, the two Saiyan brothers and a cousin swallowing hard as they tried not to think about all of the cranial trauma dealt out by a certain kitchen implement.

"We're not here to discuss Kakkarot's psychotic mate!" Growled Vegeta. "We're here to find away to wean those bothersome brats off that noise!"

"I thought we were here to train?" queried Brolli.

"Yeah, me too." Tomatta added.

"And me." Turlus and Nappa both said.

"Shut up," Vegeta snarled. His head was starting to throb again, and he was sure he could here that so called "Nu Metal" pulsing between his ears.

"I thought this place was supposed to be sound proof?" Goku asked, his ears pricking up.

"You can you can hear it too?" Vegeta asked, barely managing to keep the relief from his voice.

"Yeah, like a dull booming noise and… actually, it sounds like somebody grunting," Goku answered. Everybody looked at Nappa.

"Hey, stop looking at me like that!" the bald Saiyan said defensively.

** * ** * **

"Mum, are you around? Mum!"

"I'm here Trunks, just a moment!" Bulma called back. The teenager paced back and forth, his jacket drooped over the back of the chair and a satchel lain on the chair's seat.

"Do you have to do this right now?" Bulma called out.

"Not really, but I'd like to. I haven't seen them in a couple of years. I'm dying to know how they're doing." Trunks replied. Bulma appeared, and smiled.

"Of course. You always were a good boy, you got that from Gohan," she said, Trunks' face darkening and falling slightly as she mentioned the name.

"Yes… yes I know."

"Oh I'm sorry. That's why you're going, isn't it? To see him…"

"Is it that obvious?"

"When I mention his name, it's obvious how much you miss him."

Trunks sighed and nodded, then quickly slipped his jacket on before reaching down over the back of the chair and grasping the pack.

"Right them, I'm off." He said and leaned forward, kissing his mother on the cheek. Then he turned and quickly ran towards the door.

"Wait!" Bulma cried after her son. Trunks' face, framed by the long lilac hair, popped round the doorframe.

"Yes mum?" he asked.

"You forgot these!" Bulma said with a smile as she tossed a capsule case across the room, which was caught expertly by Trunks.

"Thanks mum. I'll be back before you know it!" he said before leaving again.

Bulma sat down in the chair formerly occupied by trunks' pack and sighed. "Yes, I daresay you will."

** * ** * **

Vegeta chuckled to himself, hugging his knees as he sat on the cold metal floor of the Gravity room, a circle of Saiyans standing around him, watching curiously.

"What's wrong with him?" Goku asked, nudging his older brother, who after being dead for so long was now his younger brother.

"What?" Raditz asked, shouting.

"I said, "What's wrong with him!"" Goku shouted back.

"What? I can't hear you!"

"Then take those protein bars out your ears!"

"Hold on, I'll just take these protein bars out my ears!"

Goku sighed and waited for his one-time enemy to take the bars of energy food from his ear-holes, and then looked at him blankly.

"Why?" he asked. Raditz shifted slightly.

"I was kinda scared that the music might turn _my_ brain into bits of blue mouldy cheese!" Raditz whined, pushing the bars back into his ears, then turned to watch Vegeta as he rocked back and forth, still hugging his knees and gibbering to himself like a madman.

"I think he's flipped his lid…" Brolli said, reaching out with a long arm and prodding Vegeta in the shoulder. Without moving a single muscle, Vegeta toppled over sideways and lay on the floor, still hugging his knees, gibbering and, somehow, rocking back and forth.

"What's that he's saying?" Tomatta asked with a frown. Turlus frowned as he tried to make out what was being said, eventually shaking his head.

"Can't make it out properly. Not with all that noise."

"Want me to blast them?" Brolli asked cheerfully.

"Last time you did that, we had to ask Shenlong to wish back Australia." Goku reminded him.

"Oh yeah…" said Brolli, a sly grin creeping across his face.

"Which part of Australia?" Turlus asked, out of interest.

"Uh… all of it. And some of the ocean around it. And all the little islands around about, and some of the South Pole, and maybe…"

"We get the point, Kakkarot," Nappa growled.

"Sorry." Goku said. "So what do we do?"

"The answer's simple, even a circus clown such as yourself should be able to think of it,"

"Argh!" everybody screamed. Vegeta looked at them with an expression of mild shock.

"What?!" he asked, looking around. "Is Buu back?"

"No, it's just… you're alright?" Raditz asked.

"Of course I'm alright, you long haired yuppie fool!" Vegeta snarled, obviously annoyed.

"Ahem," Turlus cleared his throat. "So, what's this plan of yours?" he asked.

"I assume that you simple fools have heard of the axiom… yes, what is it, Kakkarot!" Vegeta snapped at Goku, who had his hand in the air and was making little whimpering noises.

"What's an 'Axe-ium'?" he asked. Vegeta stared at him momentarily.

"It's a small fluffy, but incredibly powerful and _dangerous_ animal that feeds solely on useless idiots who wear orange and blue."

"Argh! I wear orange and blue!" Goku shrieked

"As I was saying, you've all heard of the axiom that states: "If ya can't beam 'em, join 'em", yes?" Everybody nodded, except for Goku, who was running round the Gravity Room screaming, and Raditz, who still had Protein Bars stuffed in his ears and couldn't hear anything. "Well, I say we form our own band, to counter-act this pathetic pollution those brats call music."

"We form… a band…" Nappa said lamely.

"I told you he's lost it," Brolli said triumphantly. Vegeta hit him, and much to his annoyance, the Legendary Saiyan never flinched.

"Curses… anyway, we form our own band, somehow become famous…"

"I could blast them, if you like." Brolli said helpfully.

"For the last time, you're not blasting anybody!" Tomatta said.

"What about those annoying girls who follow the band around and throw their panties at the sta… " Brolli's sentence broke down as his dark eyes glazed over and a smile worked its way over his lips. "No blasting people, gotcha."

"Okay, that's a _good_ plan!" Turlus said, nodding his head.

"I know," Vegeta replied smugly.

"There's only one minor, teensy-weensy flaw, however." Turlus added.

"And that is?" Vegeta asked, and was shocked as a pair of hands grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to shake him to his senses. However, all this achieved was to make Turlus pull and push himself away and towards Vegeta vigorously.

"_We have the combined musical talent of a blocked nostril!_" Turlus shouted, then stopped trying to shake Vegeta, in case he threw up.

"Ah yes, you see, I already have that one thought out, and I've thought of an answer before you even said anything about it." Vegeta proclaimed, looking smug.

"And that is?" Nappa asked.

"We get videos of bands doing it, and copy them!" There was a pause as everybody looked at each other. That is, everybody except Goku - who was still running around screaming, and now flailing at his back as he was sure that an 'Axiom' was trying to eat through his gi – and Raditz, who had started to pull the Protein Bar from his ears and chew on it, quite happily it seemed.

"Will that work?" Tomatta asked eventually.

"Well… we're Saiyans. It _might_ work…" Nappa conceded.

"And what if it doesn't? What then?" Turlus asked, always the sceptical one.

"Then we bloody well get the woman to buy us some books and we _learn_!" Vegeta growled.

"Hey, Kakkarot's eldest brat probably has books on that sorta thing," Nappa rumbled, and was sharply smacked across the back of the head by Raditz. "OW, hey! What did you do that for?"

"That brat just happens to be my nephew!" Raditz said.

"So what?! _You_ kidnapped him, remember!" Nappa replied.

"I'm allowed."

"Why's tha… OW!"

"I just am." Raditz replied, wiping the sweat from the back of Nappa's polished head on the bald Saiyan's training outfit. "And besides, he could wipe you out by just pissing on you"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Oh yeah?!"

"YEAH!"

"Will you two cut that out!" Vegeta snapped, grabbing the two arguing Saiyans and shoving them both aside, both men colliding into the walls at opposite sides of the room, cracks radiating around them and causing the whole building to shake. The two got to their feet and sauntered back to the party of Saiyans gathered in the middle of the room. As he moved forward, Goku ran past Raditz screaming:

"Get it off, get it oooooooff!!" Raditz just shrugged and continued on his way.

"Now, as I was saying… Kakkarot, what do you… " Vegeta started, and then paused as a scream came towards him. He tuned about, and looked into the fear-filled eyes of Goku, and blinked. "What the hell is wrong with you, man?!" Vegeta shouted.

"It's eating my back, it's _eating my baaaack_!"

"What is?"

"The axiom!"

"The axiom?" Vegeta asked, lost.

"You said that an axiom was a thing that ate people who dressed in orange and blue," Nappa whispered into Vegeta's ear.

"Oh right. Turn around Kakkarot and I'll… uh… blast it." An evil gleam came into eyes and as Goku turned around, hopping from foot to foot, the little Prince motioned Brolli over.

"I'm just going to _blast_ you in the _back_ Kakkarot!" Vegeta said, nudging Brolli, who held out his hand.

"Right, just do it! It's _moving_!" Goku cried out, almost screaming.

Brolli grinned, holding out his palm, a pulse of green energy erupting from his hand and exploded against Goku's back, sending the poor deranged idiot through the wall. Then the next wall. And then the wall after that. And so on, and so forth.

"That was evil," Tomatta said, looking at the Goku-shaped holes that lined the way through the house.

Vegeta turned around, smirking arrogantly. "I know."

** * ** * **

Goku pulled himself from the smouldering hole in the floor, and poked his head up out the crater. Bulma was looking at him with an expression of shock on her face, and Bra was laughing her head off. Chi-Chi had her usual scowl of anger worn about her, and she was already reaching for the frying pan she had taken to carrying everywhere she went nowadays.

"Heh – hi, guys!" Goku said, scratching the back of his head.

"Gokuuuuuuuu!" both Chi-Chi and Bulma screamed, then a third high-pitched scream came from little Bra, who couldn't help but join in with the antics.

"Heh… I'll uh… just go finish training!" and before either women could scream or shout a word, he held his fore and middle fingers to his forehead and vanished with a flicker.

"I swear, one of these day's…" Bulma said, shaking with anger.

"It's alright, Bulma. I'll just get one of the boys to tidy this mess up," Chi-Chi said soothingly.

"Well, I volunteer Trunks," Bulma replied, sitting back on what was left of the couch whilst Chi-Chi beat the flames from her chair with a pillow and sat down with a sigh.

"With the rate those lot are going, I reckon we've got another five minutes or so before something _else_ happens." Bulma said.

"Like what?" Chi-Chi asked, taking a sip out of her tea, then looking down to see that the bottom of her cup had fallen out, the contents spreading across her lap and leaving a very prominent green stain on her dress.

Bulma gave Chi-Chi 'One of those looks', as Vegeta had come to calling them, and sighed. "That's just the thing. When my Vegeta and your Goku get together, _anything_ can happen!"

"It could be a lot worse," Chi-Chi said, standing up and looking around the debris for a teapot and cups.

"Yes," Bulma answered. "We could be at my house listening to that dreadful music."

** * ** * **

Goku reappeared at Capsule Corp with a flicker, and turned beamed at the others.

"Hi guys!" he said cheerfully, and then he saw their expressions. "What's wrong?"

"Tuh… Tuh…" Vegeta said, pointing at Goku. Goku frowned and looked at his chest, then he turned around and looked up, his eye slighting up with glee.

"Trunks, buddy!" he cried.

"Goku!" Trunks called and the two hugged each other.

"What's up with those guys?" the Future Trunks said, gesturing to Vegeta and the others.

"They've had a hard day, that's all," replied Goku, and then the strangled-cat music burst into the room from the open door. "We all have."

"Argh, what's that awful noise?" Trunks asked, clasping his hands to his ears.

"Music," Goku shouted so that his friend could hear.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nuh-uh. That kids have gotten into this music, and we all hate it."

"Aw man! Looks like I came at the wrong…" then Mirai's eyes fell on somebody. "Brolli! What's _he_ doing here?!"

"It's a long story," Goku said. (('You're damn right it is, Kakkarot!' – read 'Total War' for that long story.))

"I see. He's a good guy now?" Trunks asked.

"Well, I wouldn't call him good…" said Goku. "More sort of, not as evil."

"Ah. Him and my dad get on, I take it?"

"Like a house on fire."

"Thought as much." Mirai said, then turned to his father. "So, dad, what's up?"

"Well, we have decided we're going to start our own band to counter-act that infernal noise," Vegeta shouted over the din.

"Cool!" Mirai replied. "Who going to be in it?"

"We… ah… haven't come to that yet."

"And how many people are going to be in this band?"

"Uh…"

"And what sort of music?"

"You see…"

"And what about a name?"

"Well…"

"You haven't got a clue, have you, dad?" Mirai asked.

"Well, I wouldn't say that," Vegeta said. "More sort of, haven't made all the finer decisions yet."

"The kid's got a point, sire," Turlus said. "How many of us are going to be in this band? And what else will we need?"

"Well, lets get the woman to do some research, and _then_ we'll make the finalised thing, alright?"

"Or, we could just ask the kids," Goku said.

"Or we could just ask the brat…" Vegeta repeated. "What?!"

"Well, the music's off, and they're in the living room now," Goku replied.

"Alright, let's do that then." Vegeta turned and stormed off through the hole in the wall, kindly left in place Goku. One by one, the other Saiyans trooped after him, leaving Goku and Mirai to follow on behind, chatting.

Soon, all the Saiyans and one Demi-Saiyan from an alternate timeline were clustered around the trio of Trunks, Goten and Applor, who were crashed on the couch and flicking through the television channels. Goten looked up and grinned at his dad, uncle and cousin, who grinned back.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Well, we were wondering son," Goku asked. "How many people are there in a band?"

"Uh… I'm not sure. Do you know, Trunks?" Goten asked, turning to his friend beside him.

"Course I know, you dummy," said Trunks." It depends. There's anywhere from three band members to nine. Depends on which band you're talking about."

"Nine? In a single band?" Vegeta asked. "You sure?"

"Yeah dad, why?" Trunks asked, starting to become suspicious.

"Nothing, brat. Keep our nose outa my business."

"Or you'll what?" Trunks asked bravely.

"Brolli!" Vegeta shouted. Brolli moved forward and loomed over Vegeta, his muscles bulging all over him as his dark hair flowing down the back of his neck and over his shoulders.

"Yes?" the Legendary asked as the three boys cowered back in their sofa.

"I rest my case," Vegeta smirked.

** * ** * **

"You want me to do what?" Bulma asked on the phone. She waited for a moment, blinked, made several "uh-huh" noises, and then hung up, looking very puzzled. Chi-Chi pressed a little button on the side of her watch and peered at it.

"Well?" she asked, giving the watch a very scrutinising look.

"Vegeta asked me to get him some live rock videos, two electric guitars, one bass guitar, a large drum kit, emphasis on _large_, a microphone - plus stand, and the biggest amps I could get my hands on. Since I can get my hands on some very big things, I'll just get him the biggest set I can fit in the car."

"Six minute and twenty seconds." Chi-Chi replied.

"Damn, that means I owe you a fiver?"

"A tenner, lady! Don't get short on me, now. We had a bet! You said that the trouble would start _five_ _minutes_ after Goku left."

"Aw, come on, chi-Chi!" Bulma cried. "I was One minute out!"

"One minute could mean your life," Chi-Chi said simply. "Married to an egotistical fanatic warrior Saiyan, you should know that one by now." Bulma growled and fished n her purse for the money. It wasn't the fact that she had to give Chi-Chi the money – she was loaded! – it was the fact she _hated_ loosing to her that really boiled her up inside.

** * ** * **

Vegeta hung up the phone and gave the thumbs up to the Goku, Mirai and the others.

"It worked then?" Turlus asked.

"You bet your sweet ass it did!" Vegeta said proudly, and punched the air. "This is it, we're on our way!"

"That's all great, dad. But what we gonna call ourselves?" Mirai asked.

"Well, when you were all leaning over Vegeta's shoulder, I had a look in the computer database," Tomatta said, perched against the wall doing vertical push-ups against the wall. "I found a name of a very popular band, and I think we should call ourselves Def Saiyan."

There was a brief silence as everybody digested the name, the silence, as usual, was broken by Vegeta.

"What… we're a Saiyan with a hearing problem?"

"I said _def_ – that's Dee, Ee, Eff – Saiyan, not _deaf_ Saiyan," Tomatta replied.

"What's the difference?" Goku asked, bewildered.

"The spelling?" Turlus replied.

"I can't believe this, Def Saiyan has been together not even a minute, and we're arguing over the name's spelling!" Mirai said, throwing his hands up into the air in despair.

"I've got it…" Vegeta said, a grin spreading across his face.

"Got what?" Goku asked.

"Herpes," Turlus said, nodding knowingly. "I overheard him phoning the doctor and asking him to send over a bottle of…"

"That's enough, you!" Vegeta said, slapping Turlus through the wall. "No, what I mean is that I have the name for our band!"

"And that is?" Mirai asked sceptically.

"_Death_ Saiyan!" Vegeta aid proudly.

"Death as in… like… death?"

"Yes, Kakkarot! Death as in death. Not as in Death as in 'I can't hear 'cos I'm a baka weakling' or as in 'I can't spell because I'm Kakkarot'. Death as in pushing up the daisies, kicked the bucket, joined the great unknown, gone to other world, hob-knobbing with the kais, is no more. This is an ex-Saiyan!"

"You've been watching Monty Python again, haven't you?" Goku said.

"No," Vegeta denied.

"Yeah, right!" Turlus said, pulling himself through the wall. A quick blast of kai later, and he was back _through_ the wall.

"Shut up, you," Vegeta said, retracting his hand. His expression changed from one of triumph to one of blankness. "Uh… what was I talking about?"

"Band names," Goku said.

"Ah yes, that's right," Vegeta said. "I think we should name ourselves Death Saiyan, because we're Saiyans, and that's what we do." Vegeta added for the hard of understanding. I.E., Goku, Brolli, Raditz and Nappa.

"But, I don't cause Death…" Goku said, scratching the back of his head.

"Kakarrot, you've killed people, haven't you? I seem to remember Turlus talking about you killing him…" Vegeta said.

"That wasn't me, it was the tree!" Goku explained. There was a pause, and then somebody sniggered.

"Turlus was beaten up by… a tree?" Brolli looked sideways at Turlus who, despite his Saiyan Conditioning, was turning bright red with embarrassment.

"It was a very powerful tree, alright?!" the Kakoclone (As Vegeta has nicknamed him) shouted.

"Right, okay. Next you'll be telling me that not-so-bald midget beat up your minions."

"They weren't top of the line minions…" Turlus began.

"He did!" Vegeta cried. "That baka human beat up your minions!"

"He had friends!" Turlus screamed.

"Did one of them have three eyes, and the other scars on his face?" Vegeta asked.

"Yeah…"

"AHAHAHAHA!" The Saiyan prince was beside himself. "Turlus, you're minions are the weakest punks I've ever herd of, and that includes Raditz!"

"Hey!"

"Sorry Raditz," Vegeta said, patting his old comrade on the back.

"Can we _please_ get on with the band!" Turlus cried, waving his arms in the air. Everybody looked at him. "What?!"

"Dude, there's no need to shout!" Tomatta said, leaning against his wall, "we're not deaf."

Vegeta gave off a very large grin, and everybody leaned away. "No," he said. "We're Death!"

** * ** * **

"Here's those tapes you were after," Bulma said, closing the door. She dropped a carrier bag on the porch table, and looked about. "Vegeta, you home?"

"We're in the kitchen, woman!" Vegeta cried out.

"Kay…" Bulma said, confused. The last time one of the Saiyans had tried to use the oven, they had to buy a knew kit…

KABOOM!

"What have I told you about cooking?!" Bulma screamed, racing into what was recently the kitchen, and was now, technically, a mess.

"Uh… Always make sure the flame is big enough?" Goku guessed. Before any of them could say a word, Bulma had seized hold of a frying pan, which had miraculously survived the blast, and had smacked Goku across the side of the head with it.

"Wrong answer, buddy!"

"Heh, heh, heh. Kakkarot got whammed!" Vegeta chuckled.

"I told you guys never _ever_ to cook in this house again, you hear me?" Bulma shrieked.

"Yes woman," Vegeta said half-heartedly.

"What were you guys doing in here, anyway?" Bulma asked, suspiciously.

"We were waiting for you to return with the things we asked for, and we got bored," Vegeta explained.

"Yeah, so we decided to cook," Mirai said. Bulma wheeled around, and saw her son from the future, and her demeanour changed suddenly.

"Trunks!" She squealed with joy, lunging forward and grabbing him around the shoulders and drawing him into a tight hug.

"Woman, I hope you know this technically counts as incest…" Vegeta said, and then cowered back as he received a death-glare from his mate that even made Brolli think twice about grinning.

"What brings you back here?" Bulma asked, returning her attention back to her son. Well, technically her son.

"I got bored, it's really slow in the Future. Some guy tried to take over the Earth the other month, but as soon as I blasted his friend, he backed down. In fact, he was so eager to go home, he forgot Super-weapon." Mirai said.

"Ooooh, a Super-weapon!" Goku said, excited. "What was it?"

"Uh… some sort of rodent, I think." Mirai said, then shrugged. "It was kinda cute, I asked mom if I could keep it, but she said no. She said I had too much on my hands as it is, y'know, juggling schoolwork and being the saviour of mankind."

"Sounds just like Chi-Chi with Gohan," Goku mused.

"Kakkarot?" Vegeta asked, looking at the taller Saiyan.

"Y'know, when he went through the whole Superhero stage, when he was at high school?" Goku reminded him.

"Ah yes, the time when he became an even bigger idiot than his father. Ah… they were the days. When you had the three stages of Goku the Fool. Then there was his son, Gohan; the Fool in a Suit, and then there was Goten, who I affectionately named…"

"Kakospawn; the Grinning Fool. Yes we know Vegeta," Goku said wearily. "So, Bulma, you gonna make us something to eat?"

"Yeah, I guess. What do you guys… HEY! You just blew up my kitchen, why should I make _you_ dinner?" Bulma asked.

"Because we're cute and cuddly?" Goku asked, batting his eyelids.

"Hah, no way buster!" Bulma said, hefting the frying pan so that Goku whimpered ducked behind Tomatta.

"Anyway, have you got…" Vegeta looked conspiratorially from side to side, before moving closer to Bulma and whispering "…_the_ _stuff_?"

"Huh?"

"Did you get that junk I_ asked__ for over the phone!"_

"Oh, yeah. It's in the bag on the table in the hallway. Although why…"

"Thank-you!" Vegeta said and rushed off, followed by everybody in the room. Mirai closed the door behind him on his way out, which then swung on its single hinge before dropping to the floor with a very final clatter.

"I swear, one of these days I'll  really, _really…" Bulma muttered to herself._

However, in the hallway, Vegeta had already picked up the bag and lead the march of Saiyans back into the Gravity Room.

"Right, this is it!" he said, flourishing the bag aloft like a trophy. "This is the beginning to out plans!"

"Where's the instruments, and the amps?" Raditz asked. Vegeta hesitated, then brought the bag down and opened it. At once, seven Saiyan heads tried to look in the bag at the same time.

"Quit shoving…"

"Let me in…"

"STOP PUSHING!"

"Let go of me you damn dirty ape!"

"Argh!"

"KAME-HAME…"

"DUCK!"

"Where?!"

Eventually, Vegeta managed to crawl away from the ensuing battle royal, and peered into the bag.

"Ah, here they are," he said. The fight in the background stopped and they all turned to see what was going on. Vegeta held up his fingers, and between them was a capsule. His thumb darted over the release button, and then tossed the small piece of plastic into the middle of the room and watched as it burst, revealing all the equipment they had asked for. Looking back into the bag, he brought out a handful of Vid-discs and handed them out randomly.

"You lot, watch these and watch how they play the instruments. Then come back here tomorrow night, and we'll, I dunno. Practice or something," Vegeta ordered.

"Right!" Everybody said. Each hand grabbed the disk handed to them, and everybody left quickly, except Vegeta and Mirai, because they lived there.

And so ended the first day of Death Saiyan.


	2. Those Who Are ABout To Rock

**AN**: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been on holiday (that's 'Vacation' for all you non-British speakers out there) in Spain, in an all-inclusive resort taking advantage of the naïve fools giving out free alcohol. San Miguel beer and the discovery of 'Black Russians' (Tia Maria (a coffee liqueur) + Vodka + Cola, except at the resort I was staying at, they were by no-means stingy with the measures of Vodka or Tia Maria… I think they put in a thimble-full of cola… yummy!) meant that I was in no fit state to walk/play pool, never mind write.

Anyway, enough of my holidays. Read on and enjoy… at least, _pretend to enjoy, 'cos that'll keep me happy._

- Paul

Chapter Two: Those Who Are About To Rock…

Goku and Raditz sat on the sofa of their new house, their old one having been destroyed in the destructive battle between Vegeta and Tomatta almost a year ago. Chi-Chi was busying herself somewhere else, and Goten was at school, so that left just the two Saiyans in charge of the front room, for the time being at least.

Raditz looked down at the vid-disc then up to the TV, then back at the vid-disc.

"It isn't working, brother," Raditz said, eventually.

"You're supposed to put the disc in the player, Raditz," Goku replied.

"Player?"

"Give it here," Goku said, swiping the disc from Raditz' hand, and strolling over to the vid-player. He slid it into the slot, and pressed the play button, then quickly clasped his hands over his ears as music began to spill out. It wasn't Noise, as the kids were listening to, it was music… heavy, raw, unrefined music. The sort of music that, if left unchecked, would steal your girl (or man… or both!), take her upstairs and give her the night of her life.

Raditz looked at the TV, his eyes wide, and his long hair flowing backwards as it was caught in the air-stream from the speakers.

"GOK-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" came a shrill cry. Immediately, Raditz vanished, leaving Goku alone to face Chi-Chi's wrath. He turned the volume down substantially, then turned around to face his wife, who was standing a pace behind him. Goku yelped and hopped back in surprise, narrowly missing the frying-pan that swiped down from above. He never managed to avoid the second shot as it came slamming out and caught him on the side of the cheek, causing his head to rock to the side in surprise.

"Hey… what was that for?" Goku asked, rubbing his cheek.

"You and your irresponsible brother… why don't you do anything else than train or watch TV?!" she shrieked, tensing up.

"Awww, but hunny. This is important, there's a new evil coming across, and we have to study these old bands to help fight it, and…"

"OOOOOH!" Chi-Chi cried and stormed off.

"Bye hunny!" Goku called after her, cheerfully. The tall Saiyan turned around and looked back towards the Television, and what he saw almost made him choke.

"Oh… wow…" he gasped, and dropped to his knees. On the screen, there was a man in perpetual motion, hopping across the stage with his long curly hair trailing out behind him as the music screamed out. But it wasn't this maniacs inability to stop that had caught Goku's attention, it was the fact he was wearing a school-boy's outfit, complete with tight leather shorts so short they were nearly underpants.

Goku's eyes widened even more as this total nutcase broke into a guitar solo, the instrument singing the most beautifully intricate combination of notes and chords.

"Is she gone yet, brother?" Raditz asked, peering back into the living room, then he immediately saw Goku sitting in front of the set, eyes glazed over. Raditz joined him, sitting down next to him on the floor and watching the screen, then he saw another guitarist prancing about, his fingers a blur over his guitar, and a wide grin spread over his face.

** * ** * **

Vegeta sighed as he leaned back in his chair, and idly watched as Mirai Trunks slid the disc into the player and pressed the play-button. The screen was black, and vegeta leaned forward slightly.

"If that woman has given us a blank disk I'll…" Vegeta's words were cut off as a large fiery explosion ripped across the screen, revealing a group of people jumping about the stage, their faces painted with interesting designs in black over white.

"I stand corrected…" Vegeta muttered as Mirai moved back and took a seat in the second chair that had been positioned in the Gravity Room on the prince's orders. On the screen, the four still jumped around, their fingers pounding on the strings and the lead singer pulling faces as he sang the lyrics. Trunks was watching them all, his attention caught by none of them in particular, but Vegeta however, was interested in the one who had a black star painted across his right eye. It wasn't the make-up he was interested in, but the hairline. The bassist had a widows' peak or almost exactly the same magnitude, and Vegeta's face slowly contorted into a grin.

"Boy," he said, turning to Trunks, "I have found myself a role model!"

"That's great, dad," Trunks replied. "But I haven't found one yet."

"Well, there's till quite a few discs to go through, I'm sure you'll find one eventually."

Mirai nodded. "Yeah dad," he said. "I guess I'll go over to Gohan's to find myself one, kay?" he suggested. Vegeta waved his hand irritably, gesturing for his son to do whatever he thought was best as long as it didn't involve pestering him.

Trunks sighed and quietly slipped from the room as Vegeta just stared in wonder as the black-starry-eyed one lurched on stage, wearing a deck of full-plate armour and unleashing a barrage of flame form the head of his guitar.

"Yes…" said Vegeta, chuckling to himself, "that shall do nicely."

** * ** * **

Mirai knocked on the door of the Son's house, and heard the usual screaming coming from Chi-Chi. As she opened the door, Trunks' sharp eyes caught the transaction of her expression turning from psycho to friendly.

"My, Trunks! My, you've grown! Although, Goten's at school… I'm sur eyou could come in for…" Chi-Chi began.

"No, it's okay, Mrs. Son. It's me, the Trunks from the future…" Mirai looked at Chi-Chi's blank expression. "The one who came back and gave Goku the heart medicine?" Trunks suggested.

"Oh yes that's right!" Chi-Chi exclaimed, clasping her hands together over her chest. "Such a polite young man, so unlike your modern self!" Trunks blushed and scratched the back of his lilac hair.

"Well… gosh…"

"So you're here to speak to Gohan, right?"

"That's right, Mrs Son."

"Well, he doesn't live with us anymore – he moved out some time ago," Chi-Chi said, her face turning down at the thought of her little boy not living with them anymore.

"Oh, where does he live?"

"He moved into the house next door," Chi-Chi said with a sigh. "It's not the same, living without my little Gohan."

"But… he's only next door…" Trunks said.

"I know… but the house feels so empty." Chi-Chi's words were finished by a loud crash, and her face turned red.

"Excuse… me… I have to… go… talk to the… boys…" she said, vibrating as she struggled to contain her anger.

"Okay, I'll see you later, Mrs. Son!" Trunks said, moving away from the step, moments before the front door slammed shut. Sighing, Trunks moved to the next door down, and rapped on it with his knuckles gently, and almost instantly heard some commotion from within. Then the door opened, and a oval face peered at him with sparkling brown eyes.

"Yes?" she demanded.

"Uh… I'm looking for Gohan…" Trunks said.

"Hmph, I might have known," the girl said, and turned around to face into the house. "GOHAN! There's guy here to see you!" she called out and then vanished. Trunks waited patiently, and then when Gohan finally arrived, he almost jumped out of his skin.

"Hi… oh wow, Trunks!" Gohan cried.

"Gohan… is that _really you?" Trunks asked, looking his friend and former sensei up and down._

"Yeah… guess I've grown, huh?" Gohan said sheepishly and grinning.

"Evidently… uh… what's that in your hand?" Trunks said looking at the thing held in Gohan's arms.

"Oh, this is Pan, my daughter." Gohan said matter-of-factly.

"You what?!" Trunks said with shock. "That means that that woman here was…"

"My wife, yeah. Her name is Videl, and she's Hercule Satan's daughter," Gohan explained, and Trunks' face dropped.

"Hercule's daughter? That pompous guy who tried to take on Cell?!" Trunks gasped.

"_What was that?!" came a shriek from in doors, causing Gohan to cringe._

"Shhh! Keep your voice down, buddy!" Gohan said.

Trunks nodded and peered around Gohan. "Is it safe for me to come in, do you reckon?"

"Yeah… what's wrong?"

"You won't believe what the others are upto…" Trunks groaned as Gohan stepped aside to allow his old friend into the house.

** * ** * **

"They're what?!" Gohan gasped. Pan was crawling about on the floor as they spoke, trying to eat everything she came into contact with.

"I told you that you wouldn't believe me…" Mirai sighed. At that moment, Videl appeared with a tray holding three cups and a pot, steam curling gently from its spout.

"I've brought us some tea… and Gohan, you still haven't introduced me to our guest," Gohan's spouse said in sickly sweet tones that told Gohan that he was in deep shit the moment Mirai left the house.

"Uh, dear… this is Trunks. Trunks, this is my wife, Videl." Gohan said.

Trunks stood up and bowed. "Thank-you for your hospitality, Mrs Son."

"Well… at least this one is polite, and doesn't call me your 'mate', Gohan," Videl said, still using the deceptive sweetness in her voice.

"Uh…"

"Vegeta, Brolli, Nappa…" Gohan said simply and sighed.

"Ah, of course. How foolish of me."

"Hang on… you're name's Trunks?!" Videl suddenly blurted out, almost dropping the tray as her brain caught up with what her ears had said.

"Yeah…" Trunks said.

"Uh, dearest… there's something I have to tell you…" Gohan said sheepishly. Videl wheeled about and glared at Gohan, not dropping a single thing on the tray.

"Oh, here it comes!"

"Trunks is from the future. He came from the past to warn us about the Androids, and he was almost Killed by Cell, but not quite." Videl blinked.

"He what? Gohan, that's impossible!"

"Hey, when we first met, you found it hard to believe that I could fly!" Gohan snapped back.

"Flying is hardly Time Travel, Gohan Son!"

"Well Dad can go anywhere instantly!"

"That's different, your dad is a very special man!"

"Excuse me…" said Trunks.

"I know he is!"

"Then what's your problem, Gohan?!"

"TIME TRAVEL!"

"Don't shout in front of our baby!"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not shouting!"

"Don't raise your voice, then!"

"I wasn't!"

"HEY!!" Trunks yelled. Videl and Gohan stopped glaring at each other, and turned to look at Mirai Trunks. "I'm from the future, honestly!"

"So how's my Gohan in the future then? And why'd you come back here?" Videl aske,d sceptically. Trunks' face dropped.

"Uh… hunny… everybody we know in Trunks' future was killed – even me, dad and Vegeta," Gohan said quietly.

Videl turned pale. "Oh… Trunks… I'm so sorry… I didn't know…"

"It's okay… at least Mum didn't die," he said, then  brightened up. "Hey, Gohan! We're still looking for a drummer, wanna join?"

"Wow, you mean it?" Gohan said, grinning.

"Sure!"

"Count me in, buddy! This'll be so cool!"

"Gohan, you're not joining any band!"

"Awww, c'mon. It's not as if I have anything better to do…"

"Raising our daughter isn't important?"

"Not in the sense I mean…"

"GOHAN!"

"Eep!" Gohan cried, hiding behind Mirai.

"Dude, she's just like Chi-Chi!" Trunks whispered across to Gohan.

Gohan groaned. "Don't I know it. Quick, lets get out of here."

"Right."

And with that, they both vanished, the door slamming closed behind them. Videl sighed and dropped to her knees, looking at her daughter, who was looking up at her with a bemused smile.

"Well, I don't know why _you're so happy… your daddy's just gone to fool around with those misfits again."_

Pan cocked her head to the side, and shook her baby rattle, and Videl sighed.

"And you'll be doing the same when you're older, huh? You, Bra and whoever else comes along. Oh well, I guess that can't be helped. It's in your blood. You are a Son, after all…" Videl's voice trailed off after realising she called her daughter a Son.

** * ** * **

Trunks and Gohan walked back into the Capsule Corps building, thankfully free of The Noise, and headed straight into one of the guest apartments. Mirai took a handful of disks from his jacket pocket and slipped one into the disc-player, gesturing for Gohan to sit down somewhere.

Relaxing, they sat back and began to enjoy the melodies of the bands.

** * ** * **

Meanwhile, Bulma was wondering what Vegeta was up to, so she snuck up to the Gravity Chamber, wearing a scouter modified to mask her kai signature, and switched off the soundproofing. Seeing as their wasn't a sound in the house, Vegeta wouldn't hear the difference, but Bulma would be able to hear everything that happened inside the room.

"But Vegeta… It's too narrow! You'll never fit it in!"

"Silence Nappa! All it needs is a bit of a push!"

"I'm telling you, it's just wide for the hole!"

"Shut up! Let me do this my way, alright?"

"He's right you know, Vegeta. You'll never get that in there."

"Kakkarot, be quiet will you?!"

"Fine, but let me give you a hand that into the little hole…"

"Argh! Kakkarot, get your hands away from me!"

"Fine… I was only trying to help…"

"Look, if I needed your help I'd have asked for it!"

"If you keep trying to push it in like that, you'll only break it! Maybe it needs a bit of lubrication…"

"Nappa, I'm not going to tell you twice! Just cease your infernal mumbling and hold still!"

Bulma heard a deep sigh and then: "Fine then… OW! That hurt!"

"Christ Nappa! I've seen Bakarot's youngest brat take one harder than that!"

"mumblemumblemumble"

"What was that?!"

"I said '_I'm not a Super Saiyan!"_

"That's not the point, Nap… where do you think you're going?!"

"Somewhere else."

"Just get back here and hold still, will you?!"

"No."

"Fine then."

"Good!"

"I'll help, Vegeta."

"No you bloody won't, Kakkarot!"

"Awww!"

"I'll just have to do this by myself…"

"Are you sure that's wise… _Now look what you've done! You snapped it!"_

"Kakkarot, keep your voice down. I can just superglue it back together again…"

By this point, Bulma couldn't take it anymore. Seizing the emergency door handle, she pushed the door inwards and stood in amazement as before her, she saw Vegeta crouched down in front of an amp, a broken jack-plug between his finger. Standing over him was an exasperated Goku, holding the snapped-off piece of metal, whilst Nappa was sitting sulking in the corner.

"Uh… sorry for bursting in but uh…"

"Woman, what the blazes are you doing in here?" Vegeta asked, standing up.

"Hi Bulma!" Goku waved, the broken plug slipping from his fingers and flying across the room. "Whoops!"

"Kakkarot, you idiot! Look what you just did!"

"I'm sorry, Vegeta. It should be easy enough to find."

"Yes, as long as you're the searching for it," Vegeta mumbled, then turned back to face his spouse. "Anyway, you were saying?"

"Actually, I wasn't saying anything," Bulma responded, then turned away and headed out, closing the door behind her.

"What was _that all about?" Goku asked, scouring the floor for the broken-ff piece of metal._

"How in the blazes should I know?" Vegeta muttered.

"Well, she's _your mate," Nappa mumbled from the other side of the room._

"She may be my mate, but she's still the must stubborn woman I've ever met!" Vegeta cried, and then hesitated. "Except possibly that harpy of a female that Kakkarot mated with. Twice."

Goku laughed and scratched the back of his head, then his face dropped. "Hey!"

Goku turned around, and opened his mouth to say something, when the chamber doors burst open, and two enthusiastic-looking Demi-Saiyans stood there grinning.

"We have it, we have the muse!" Mirai blurted out, Gohan nodding in support.

"What? Then put it back before people realise it's missing!" Goku cried in dismay as his eldest son's blatant disregard for other people property.

"Kakkarot, don't you know _anything? I've been on this world for only a short number of years, and __already I know more about this back-water planet than you do!"_

"Huh?" Goku asked, dumbfounded.

"A muse, you baka, is a source of inspiration! The ancient Greeks believed that all artistic inspiration came from three ancient hags that lived in some mountains somewhere, and they were worshipped by even the Gods themselves!"

Everybody in the Gravity Room turned and looked at Vegeta.

"What are you hippies looking at, I am the prince of all Saiyans!"

"More like the Prince of all Bakas…" mumbled Gohan under his breath.

"I heard that, you spawn of a 3rd class weakling! Just remember that _he is the biggest baka of them all!"_

"He went Super Saiyan before you did," Gohan said with a sneer.

"… That isn't the point! Now shut up!" Vegeta roared. "And what the _hell are you doing here, anyway?"_

"I'm your drummer."

"Oh no you're not!" Vegeta and Nappa yelled at once.

"Wanna bet?"

"You're on!" Vegeta said, smugly.

"Okay, fight me. Whoever wins, wins the bet." Vegeta's face dropped slightly, well aware what would happen if Gohan got really pissed off in the middle of the fight.

"Um… how's about we have a game of monopoly instead?" Goku suggested.

** * ** * **

"Hah! You pathetic weakling!" Vegeta shouted in triumph. Gohan groaned and thumped the floor is utter dismay. "You owe me fifteen hundred for landing on my little thing with a red thing on it!"

"That's Piccadilly, and that's a hotel, Vegeta," Nappa said, pointing.

"Shut up," Vegeta said and tossed his nose into the air haughtily. "Now, shut up and give me my spondoolah."

"Fine, fine…" Gohan said, and handing over the brightly-coloured fake paper money to the almost-giggling Vegeta.

"Yes, now I believe it's my turn. Hand me the two spotted white things…"

"Dice."

"Silence!" The prince threw the dice into the air, hearing them clatter off the ceiling, and then drop down onto the floor beside Goku, who looked down.

"One… two… three… four…"

"Kakkarot, what are you doing?" Vegeta asked, turning to see Goku pointing at a di.

"Nothing…" Goku said, hiding his finger.

"You were counting the spots, weren't you?"

"No."

"Weren't you?!"

"No…"

"Kakkarot, I know when you lie. The vein over your left eye twitches so hard that if you were human, you would have sprayed Nappa and the game board with your blood by now. You were counting the damn spots, weren't you?"

"Yes."

"Well, what's the number?"

"Hold on, you made me loose my place…" Goku slowly counted up the dice, then rechecked, just to piss off the impatient Prince.

"Six," he said, eventually.

"Six? You sure?" Vegeta asked, sceptically.

"Yeah, pretty much." Goku replied.

"Right… Nappa, move my little metal thing six squares along." Vegeta ordered.

"Why me?"

"It's on _your side of the board, you overgrown pile of blubber," Vegeta snapped. "Now move the bloody thing!" Nappa sighed and picked up the dog, placing it down six squares along._

"Mayfair, and I own that!" Trunks said gleefully.

"Curses!"

"Right… with a hotel… that's four thousand, please!" Trunks said, grinning.

"Damn you brat… damn you…" Vegeta said, counting out the money and handing over a large wad.

"Vegeta, you're almost five hundred short."

"Well, what do you want _me to do about it?"_

"Sell something."

"No"

"Sell something, or forfeit," Trunks said, icily cold. Vegeta stirred.

"I am the Prince of All Saiyans… uh… you should be paying _me for staying at your accursed hotel!" Vegeta snarled._

"Dad…" Trunks snarled in return.

Brolli and Tomatta exchanged glances, and at once they dived on Vegeta, wrestling him to the floor, the two large Saiyans pinning him down whilst Raditz quickly took the hotels from the yellow properties, placing them back in the tray and taking out twelve houses and a wad of money. He set the houses in place as Vegeta thrashed around like a man possessed, Brolli's large hand covering the Prince's mouth as he screamed insults at Kakkarot's technically older sibling.

Trunks took five hundred pound note from Raditz and tucked it into his steadily accumulating wad of cash.

Brolli and Tomatta gradually let go of Vegeta who sprang up and glared at the two, before 'hmmph!'ing and turning away, against tossing his nose into the air.

"Right, my turn!" Goku said, taking the dice and rolling them across the board.

The game progressed slowly, Goku being the first to be beaten, after he squandered all his money on whores and beer (a suggestion by Vegeta), leaving him bankrupt after a wild party in Mayfair (Trunks' idea). I seemed to Gohan that the others playing the game were making up new rules as they wet along – it was when Vegeta put a kai-blast through the board and then smugly said the power station blew up that Gohan had had enough. So after Brolli, Tomatta, Goku and a Trunks prized Gohan's glowing silver hands from Vegeta's throat, they all say down and decided to let Gohan stay in the band. It was either that or have the gravity room destroyed – and nobody Wanted that to happen, it wa sthe only protection they had from The Noise.

** * ** * **

"So let's recap," Brolli said, looking at the list Vegeta had made after the two of them had rounded up the Chibi's and interrogated them about bands. "We have the equipment, we have the band, now all we need is the technician…" 

"Bulma!" Gohan, Trunks, Raditz, Nappa, Turlus, Tomatta, Vegeta and Goku all said in unison.

"A short order chef…"

"Chi-Chi!" cried out all, except Gohan who said "Mum!" and Vegeta who has said "Kakkarot's blasted mate."

"And roadies." Brolli finished, putting he slip of paper into a fold of the blood-red sash that wrapped around his waist.

"Well, Roadies are big, right?" Trunks said.

"Right." Said Gohan

"Well… who have we got who's bigger than Brolli, Tomatta and Nappa?" Trunks said, looking from one Saiyan giant to the other. Nappa and Brolli were roughly the same height, Brolli slightly shorter when un-powered, but growing much bigger when Super. Tomatta was almost over a head shorter than the other two, but made up for it with the large Raditz-like crest of his hair.

"Right, you three! You're hired!" Vegeta called.

"What about me?" Turlus asked.

"Uh… you can just hang around and help out back stage." Vegeta said, not wanting the Kakko-clone hanging around in front of the stage, drawing attention to the insane similarities between Turlus and Goku.

"Right," Turlus said, sounding bitter, his tail tightening around his waist.

"Turlus, buddy, once we find you something, we'll let you do it!" Raditz said, clapping the smaller Saiyan warrior on the shoulder.

"Right, now lets get some sleep. It's going to be a busy tomorrow," Vegeta said, glancing behind him where they had set up the equipment, ready to play.

"Yeah, tomorrow should be fun!" Goku said, a grin appearing over his face.

"Kakkarot, we are not doing this for _fun," Vegeta scorned. "We are doing this to save the world from those flipped-out chibis!" _

"Oh, yeah… but it's still going to be fun!" Goku said, holding the back of his head with both hands.

Vegeta pointed his finger to the chamber door. "Get out!"


	3. Rock'N Roll Singer

Disclaimer:  Naff off!

- Paul

Chapter Three – Rock N Roll Singer

Vegeta looked at Goku and Raditz sceptically, a vein throbbing in his forehead, then pointed his finger at the offending garment lying on the table of the Son household.

"I am _not – I repeat: __not! – wearing that… thing!" Vegeta snarled._

"Awww, c'mon!" Goku pleaded. "You gotta wear it, it's _cool!"_

"I am the Prince of All Saiyans! Princes do not do cool!" Vegeta growled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"But…" Raditz began.

"I am a warrior, not a dude!" Vegeta snapped. "Argument closed!"

"Fine… I'll wear it then!" Goku said.

"What?!" Raditz and Vegeta cried, their mouthed gaping open at the thought.

"But… it's far too small!" Raditz said, picking up Goten's school uniform jacket by the collar.

"Well… I guess… but…" Goku said, scratching the back of his head.

"Kakkarot, I take it back… you're _not the Prince of all Bakas…"_

"Gee, thanks Vegeta!"

"You're the frickin' God!" Vegeta finished and Goku's expression turned into a scowl.

"Fine then… _I'll wear this just to spite you, Vegeta."_

"But Kakkarot!" Vegeta exclaimed.

"No buts, my mind's made up!"

** * ** * **

A short while later, Goku appeared in the landing hallway, wearing the school uniform that had previously been laid out for the prince's inspection. Vegeta and Raditz looked at each other, and promptly feel onto the floor, laughing hysterically.

"Brother… you look… _hilarious!" Raditz cried his tail snaking about on the floor, clutching his broad chest and he laughed._

"Kakkarot, your weakling sibling is correct," Vegeta said wiping away a tear and struggling to his feet, trying not to giggle at the spectacle before him. Goku was wearing, for the want of a better word, a school uniform that would have for Goten. On Goku, the shorts were extremely tight, and stopped barely down his thighs, whilst the jacket was stretched and the seams were almost popping. A small striped tie and a soft-cap with Goku's spiked black hair protruding around it only added to the site.

Goku's face scrunched up with anger, and his foot came crashing down to the floor.

"Stop laughing at me!" he cried, and Raditz yelped with fear as the foot barely missed his waving tail. The larger Saiyan quickly curled the brown appendage around his waste protectively as he stood up and looked at Goku's expression – even Vegeta had gone silent.

"Sorry brother," Raditz said eventually. "You look… uh… good!"

"What?! Oh right, yes. Kakkarot, uh… you look, um… yes," Vegeta said lamely, his only recent praise for Goku being: 'You are slightly less of a baka now than the day I met you!"

"You really think so?" Goku said beaming.

"Yes," the other two Saiyans said nodding eagerly.

"Wow!" Goku said, grinning, as Vegeta would say, like a baka.

"Have you nay idea what we've just _done?__" Vegeta hissed to Raditz._

"I think so…" Raditz hissed back. Both turned back towards the happy Saiyan, and both grimaced as Goku minced away.

** * ** * **

"Right, it's our first practice session!" Vegeta barked, trying not to look across as Goku squirmed in the tight school-shorts. They had relocated back to the Capsule Corporation building, and fled straight to the Gravity Room as The Noise pounded through the air. Brolli and Nappa were there waiting for them, and Tomatta finished tuning up the bass, ready for the Prince.

"Uh, Vegeta, what is that?" Turlus asked, pointing to a small nozzle protruding from the head of his Guitar.

"You'll find out at a later date," Vegeta said with a smirk, then picked up the instrument roughly and strummed the strings. "Now, are we ready to jam?"

"_Jam?!" Goku cried with glee. "Did somebody mention __food?" There was a loud, low-pitched rumbling as five Saiyan stomachs rumbled angrily at once._

"Break time!" Raditz yelled and placed his guitar on the floor, then ran towards the door. Brolli, Goku, Tomatta and Mirai in hot pursuit. All five crashed into the doorway at once, shaking the entire wall, cracks radiating from the reinforced doorframe.

"Let me out!"

"Gang way!"

"One minute!"

"_KAKKAROTT-OOOOO!"_

"Shit!"

"Everybody down!" somebody cried. Then a lance of blue energy, followed by another one, smashed into them blasting them through the congested doorway and into the wall. Dazed, everybody turned back to see Vegeta and Gohan standing in familiar positions.

"Hey!" Tomatta rumbled as he picked himself off the floor, using an unfazed Brolli as leverage. Mirai groaned as he stood up, pushing Turlus' leg from his chest and then blew a smouldering purple strand of hair out of his face.

"Awww man, I just washed my hair an hour ago!" he whined.

"I'm sorry, but you should know better than that, now go get your… lunch break," Vegeta sneered and turned back to his guitar, plucking at a string with a gloved finger. It was badly off-tuned, but the Prince didn't care.

"_Food break!" Goku cried again, and they all blurred down the hall._

A moment later, they reappeared, all grinning and all full to the brim with food found in the industrial-sized fridge in the recreational kitchen.

"Are you lot ready to j… uh… practice yet?" Vegeta asked, carefully avoiding the 'J' word.

"Sure thing, Vegeta!" Goku said enthusiastically. Raditz nodded, and Trunks tossed his hair back before giving the thumbs up.

"Good! Now let's shake!" Vegeta said triumphantly.

"…rock." Mirai muttered.

"Whatever!"

Giving Gohan 'the nod', their drummer started hammering out a beat on the bass drum, his tongue poking out the side of his mouth in concentration. After several beats, Raditz started playing a whackawhacka rhythm slowly, his fingers moving over the neck of the guitar. Goku counted in the beats, and stated to play his own instrument, the guitar wailing. Vegeta, listening with a smirk, jumped in with his own licks on the bass, his fingers plucking the strings as his note hand moved up and down the long, black neck.

"Stop!" Mirai cried, and the music stopped, then ban looking at a confused looking Trunks "What the _hell was __that?!" he asked._

"Smoke on the Water"

"Paranoid."

"Rebel Yell."

"In The Air Tonight." Answered Raditz, Goku, Vegeta and Gohan in unison.

"Which one are we supposed to be playing?" Mirai asked. The other four looked at each other, mumbling and muttering amongst themselves.

"Okay, what about we just practice some simple riffs?" Gohan asked.

"Pfft! The Saiyan-race never became what it was today by _practicing!" Vegeta said, tossing his nose into the air._

"What… you mean… nearly extinct?" Brolli asked slowly and carefully. Vegeta's vein in his forehead throbbed. If Brolli hadn't have been over two feet taller and about the same width wider, he would have loved to hit him. So instead, he hit Raditz.

"No, not extinct, you moron! A powerful race of super-warriors!" the prince exclaimed.

"Who eat big dinners!" Goku added.

"Who eat big dinners!" Vegeta repeated, then frowned. "Shut up!"

** * ** * **

Later that day, Vegeta was found locked in Bulma's study, listening to as many rock songs as he could get his hand son, whilst simultaneously listening and watching band splay on vid-disks.

"Soon, Kakkarot, I will be a better guitarist than you!" Vegeta said, ending with a short cackle.

"Um… Vegeta… you're the bassist."

"D'oh!" Vegeta said turning around quickly. "Kakospawn, what are you doing here?!"

Goten blinked. "I… uh…"

"He's with me," Trunks (little Trunks) said stepping out from behind a bookcase. Vegeta narrowed his eyes and glared at them both.

"Get out of here this instant!"

"No way, we want to know what you're up to!" Trunks said.

"You little brats!" Vegeta snarled, lunging at them.

"Every man for himself!" Goten yelled and bolted through the door and out the room.

"Goten you coward… ARGH!" Trunks cried as Vegeta's fingers wrapped around his throat.

"Why you little…" Vegeta snarled, throttling his son by the throat before putting him down again.

"Dad, chill out!" Trunks coughed, blinking and shaking his head until the little pretty stars faded out of view.

"Damn you, you accursed brats," Vegeta snarled, ushering Trunks out the door and quickly locking it behind him.

"But, uncle Vegeta…"

"ARGH!" Vegeta jumped around, pointing a finger at Goten. "How did you get back in here!"

"Dad taught me this neat-o trick!" Goten beamed proudly. "It's called Instant Trance Fishing!"

Vegeta looked at the young half-Saiyan for several seconds before saying: "You mean… 'Instant Transmission'"

"Yeah, that's it!" Goten beamed.

"That's great kid." Vegeta said, then lowered down to Goten's level. "Now, why don't you bugger off, and leave me in peace." Goten swallowed hard, noting the cheerful, smiling expression on Vegeta's face, the one he wore before doing something very nasty to whoever it was he was smiling to. He held his fingers to his forehead, and vanished with a flicker. Vegeta sighed and went back to listening to the music and watching the vids. Today was going to be a very bad day indeed…

** * ** * **

"_Goku!" Chi-chi cried out, running into the living room, frying pan raised threateningly. Goku turned towards his wife._

"Yes hun… YIPE!" he cried with a yelp as the frying pan came crashing down on the poor Saiyan's head. Raditz chuckled to himself as his poor half-witted brother became the target of Chi-Chi's wrath.

"Why on _earth are you wearing Goten's school uniform?"_

"Well…"

"Oh no!" she wailed. "My handsome husband has become an old pervert!"

"Uh…."

"It's that old man Roshi's fault, isn't it!" Chi-Chi demanded. Goku looked at Raditz, who had suddenly taken an extreme interest into how clean the fireplace was.

"Chi-…"

"Don't you _dare Chi-Chi __me, buster!" she snarled, giving Goku another bop across the head with the frying pan, a musical __twang a yelp filling the air._

"But…"

"You're not worming your way out of this one!" Chi-Chi shouted, hitting Goku across the head once again.

"Ow, hey! What was that for?!"

"For not explaining why you're wearing your son's uniform!"

"But Chi-Chi!" Goku cried.

"No _buts!" Chi-Chi screamed, and slammed the frying pan down. And then fell over._

Goku had vanished, leaving Chi-Chi off balance when the frying pan came flashing downwards and to the space that her husband had previously occupied.

"Gee, thanks Bro," Goku said, heaving with a sigh of relief as Raditz leaned him against the wall.

"You just stay there until those birdies stop flying around your head," his brother told him.

Goku looked up at his brother and nodded wearily, and then dived aside as Chi-Chi erupted form the doorway screaming "_Pervert!"_

"Quick, brother, there's only one thing for it!" Raditz said, diving under a wild swing of Chi-Chi's frying pan.

"What's that, Raditz?" Goku asked, hoping over a low-blow and flipping away.

_"Run!" Raditz cried, running away._

"Wait for me!" Goku cried, legging it after his taller brother.

Chi-Chi watched the two sibling running quickly down the street and stomped her foot down on the path, sending up a small cloud of dust.

"Just you wait, Goku Son, oooh, just you wait!" Chi-Chi said, smiling, then turned around. People were hanging out of windows and doors, watching the spectacle with leering grins on their faces. "And just _what do you think you're looking at!" Chi-Chi screamed with enough force to shake the nearer buildings. When the dust settled, nobody was in sight, except Gohan and Videl standing on their doorstep with curious expressions on their faces, little Pan in Videl's arms wavering her arms about happily._

"Uh… what just happened?" Gohan asked.

"Oh, my poor sweet innocent baby!" Chi-Chi crooned. "Your father's turned into a pervert!" Chi-Chi wailed. Videl blinked, and looked at Gohan's blank expression.

"Are you sure?" Gohan asked, sceptically.

"When I came home this afternoon, I found him parading about the house wearing your brother's school uniform!" Chi-Chi said, gripping the handle of her frying pan even tighter. "Ooooh! When I get home I'm going to…"

"Mom, relax!" Gohan said. "It's just something for the band!"

"The… band…?" Chi-Chi asked weakly.

"Uh-huh… It's… like…" Gohan said, trying to think of a way to explain. "He saw it on the TV, and decided to copy it." He said eventually.

"And that make sit okay, does it?" Chi-Chi said, her knuckles going white.

"Mom, calm down! He's not a pervert!" Gohan said, slowly sliding forward towards his mother.

"Oooooh, I bet this is all Roshi's fault! I'm going to go over to his island and…"

"Aha!" Gohan said, seizing the frying pan., and then he hesitated. There was something about it… it's sleek black surface… the subtle hints of cooking fat on the surface… the distinct aroma of food wafting into his nostrils… then all he could see was stars.

Chi-Chi absentmindedly stepped over Gohan's body sprawled over the pavement and stood in front of an amazed Videl, who knew exactly how powerful her young husband was, even when he was unpowered.

"The frying pan," Chi-Chi said, handing Videl the implement. "It'll confuse them for just long enough to whack them over the head with it."

"But…"

"Don't ask… all I know is that it works!" Chi-Chi said with a wicked grin.

Videl returned the grin and hefted the malicious weapon with a look of glee on her face. Now _she was in control!_

** * ** * **

Later on that day, the Saiyans trooped back into the gravity room, Gohan and Goku nursing lumps on the sides of their heads. Vegeta took one look at the two, and chuckled.

"It seems like a couple of bakas won't be getting nookie tonight!" Goku opened his mouth to protest when Vegeta just held his hand up. "Not now, now we practice our playing. We're not going to get anywhere without practicing…"

"But, you said earlier that Saiyans don't practice," Turlus said.

Vegeta stayed silent for a moment, then turned his dark onyx eyes on the Kakoclone.

"Shut. Up." He said menacingly before turning back to the rest of the band. "Alright, let's get some practice in!" he cried.

"What's first?" Gohan asked, picking up his drumsticks and spinning them in his hands.

"I was thinking…" Vegeta said, looking through some music. "This one!" The others peered at it, and shrugged.

"Fine, okay. That'll be a good one to start with," Raditz said, giving the machine-heads on his guitar one final tweak before slinging it over his large shoulders.

"It might be a bit hard, vocals wise…" Mirai said, reading through the lyrics.

"It'll not be so hard, my lad," Vegeta said, patting his son on the shoulder before taking his position. "Alright, one, two, one two three four!"

"Uh… Vegeta… that's _my line!" Gohan protested._

"Fine then, do you're little party trick!" Vegeta muttered as Gohan counted them in, rapping one drumstick off the other before beating out a riff on the drums. Goku and Raditz joined in, Goku's fingers pulling a tune from thin-air as Raditz's plectrum flicked at the strings, pulling the rhythm into the song. Vegeta smiled to himself as his fingers plucked the strings, a deep throbbing bass line chuga-chugged through the gravity room.

Mirai grinned to himself and pulled the mic closer to himself.

"Finished with my woman, 'cos she couldn't help me with my mind!

 People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time!"

The song was flying faster, Vegeta's motor-engine chugga-chugging bass-riff making everybody in the band's head bob back and forth, Mirai's and Raditz's hair flailing about as the rhythm guitarist made his guitar wail, back-to-back with his brother. Eventually, the song came to an end, Raditz and Vegeta improvising with a closing power chord tat almost blew the speakers apart. Then there was the musical equivalent of an explosion as Vegeta's E-string snapped violently. The string flashed out quicker than was expected and lashed across the prince's cheek, drawing a small sliver of blood down his cheek.

"Curses!" Vegeta snapped, hurling the bass guitar down with disgust. "How dare it attack me, Vegeta, Prince of All Saiyans!"

"Uh… Vegeta… it's a bass…" Goku said. "It doesn't know who you are, does it?"

"Well it bloody well aught to!" Vegeta snarled, pointing his hand down at the ground.

"Vegeta, no!" Goku cried.

"Big Bang Attack!" Vegeta cried, but was at the last minute pushed aside by something large and golden. The blue energy blast exploded upwards, and a dissatisfied grunt made all in the area know who it had hit.

"Uh… heh… Brolli…" Vegeta stammered as the fireball dispersed, revealing a rather pissed-off Saiyan standing there. "You see… the thing is…" Vegeta started as Brolli advanced towards him. "It was all Kakkarot's fault!" Brolli stopped and looked at Goku, who was standing there with his guitar.

"What?! It was not!" Goku wailed.

"Was so!"

"Was not!"

"Was so!!"

"Was not!!"

"WassoWassoWassoWasso!!!"

"WasnotWaasnotWasnot!!!"

"Shut up, the pair of you!" Mirai snapped. "You're acting like a pair of kids!"

"He started it," Vegeta mumbled.

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Did to times a million!"

"Did not times infinity!"

"Did to ti… blast!" Vegeta snarled. "Since when did Kakkarot become so smart?!" Vegeta turned his back on the younger Saiyan, who was smiling triumphantly.

"Heh heh heh, I out smarted the Prince of All Saiyans!" Goku said, poking his tongue out at the back of Vegeta's head.

"Kakkarot, don't think for a moment that I can't see you," Vegeta snarled.

"Sorry Vegeta…" Goku said.

"Now, lets get back to business."

"But what about Brolli?" Mirai asked, looking up at the seriously confused Saiyan looming over them.

"Oh, leave him be. He'll come round in a minute or so." Goku said, waving a hand dismissively.

"Maybe we could dress him up, or something, and take photos?" Raditz suggested with a chuckle.

"Maybe… _if we wanted to die!" Vegeta screamed._

"Alright, alright… I was just joking…" Raditz muttered, plucking at a guitar string. _KERrang-g-g-g-g…! the note echoed across the Gravity Room. Mirai looked down at the forlorn bass guitar and picked it up, poking at the snapped string then cocked his head to the side, the strands of lilac hair dropping around his eyes._

"You know, it's not _that bad… I'm sure I could get mum to…"_

"No, you leave the woman out of this," Vegeta murmured, more or less to himself. Trunks nodded.

"Well, I'm sure _I could fix it… it's only a piece of wire, after all."_

"Fine, just don't take too long about it – and don't tell _her anything, alright?" Vegeta said turning about and looked up at his son._

"Yes, father," Mirai said with a nod, then hurried off to one of the workshops that littered the sub-levels of the Capsule Corp. building.

"Uh, Vegeta?" Goku asked hopping down from the amp he had taken to sitting on.

"Yes, Kakkarot?" Vegeta asked without turning.

"Now what do we do? I mean, we can play. We've just played, and it sounded good. Really good." Goku said.

"Hmmm…" Vegeta mused, holding his chin with thumb and forefinger. "Well… to be honest… I'm not too sure…"

"That's a first," Turlus hissed to Tomatta, who was standing near-by. "The Prince of Saiyans admitting that he doesn't know _everything," Tomatta sniggered, and then stopped as a golden flash swept passed his body and exploded behind him. Tomatta slowly turned his head an winced as Turlus dropped out of his indentation in the wall, bits of plaster and plaz-steel falling after him. Turning his head back, Tomatta saw Vegeta dusting his hands with a triumphant smirk across his face._

"Now _that little problem is sorted out… let's return our minds to the task at hand."_

"And what's that, Vegeta?" Kakkarot asked.

"The next phase of our… evolution," Vegeta said with a cackle

Everybody leaned away from him.

"What, what did I say?" Vegeta asked, looking at all the worried faces.

"Brolli, you know when you were fighting Vegeta?" Gohan asked Mt. Saiyan. 

"Yeah?" Came the answer from somewhere near its summits.

"I think you broke him," Gohan replied with a grin. Brolli's face contorted into a one of worry.

"Does this I mean I have to pay for a new one?"

** * ** * **

"Whew, that was close!" Trunks gasped, closing the door behind him and whipping his brow. He looked up and his eyes almost popped out of his head with shock.

"ARGH! _Goten! Stop doing that!" Trunks wailed._

"Stop doing what, Trunks?" Goten asked.

"Stop doing that instant transmission thingie!" Trunks cried out. "It's really annoying when you just appear out of nowhere like that!"

"Oh, sorry. I'll stop doing it."

"Not altogether though," Trunks said, an idea forming in his evil little mind. Whilst Mirai Trunks had inherited Bulma's brains, he had been brought up primarily by Gohan, and had socially inherited his kind-heartedness which Gohan had inherited genetically through Goku.

Trunks, however, inherited Bulma's genius by genetics, his Saiyan traits through Vegeta, and he had also developed that evil streak associated with the Prince. This, added to his ingeniusness, made him the most feared practical joker in the known Universe. And probably in the _Unknown Universe also._

In short, Trunks is a little bastard.

"What do you mean, Trunks?" Goten asked, looking at his best friend.

"Well…" Trunks said with a  glimmer in his blue eyes. "You could spy on our relatives in the Gravity Room. They're up to something, I can smell it!"

"Really? You must have a really good sense of smell, 'cos all I can smell is your Mom's cooking, and it smells really good…" Goten paused as his stomach rumbled violently. Trunks gave his best friend the sort of condescending look that would made Vegeta a very proud father indeed.

"…" said Trunks.

"Why do you think they're up to something, anyway?" Goten asked.

"Well, for a start, My dad's involved," Trunks said, and Goten nodded. How could he have been so stupid? "And secondly, _your dad's involved." Goten smacked himself on the forehead for being even stupider. "And __thirdly, when a future-me appears outa nowhere and spends all his time with dad, something's __got to be going down!" Trunks said, smacking his fist into an open hand._

"So… does that make the future Trunks… like… your Bro of something?" Goten asked.

"Uh… he me, you dummy," Trunks said, sometimes not believing Goten's stupidity.

"Oh yeah."

"Anyway. Let's go get Applor and talk about this further," Trunks said, opening a window and flying away, a blue-white aura burning around his body.

"Hey, wait for me!" Goten wailed, diving out the window after his friend and powering up before flying after him. Shortly after, Mrs Briefs poked her head round the door.

"Boys, are you hungry? I've just made some tea. And I'm sure, Oh!" She stopped, as she saw the room was empty. She tottered into the room, and looked around.

"I'm sure I just heard voices, oh well!" she said cheerfully. "I guess I was just imaging them, but the doctor said the voice sin my head would stop if I started taking those tablets…" she sat on Trunks' bed and looked confused. "Oh well, can't complain!" she said with a grin, standing up and turned towards the door again. She stopped when a breeze blew across her face and she turned, seeing the window open to the night.

"Oh dear, Trunks must have left his window open before he went out to play, I'll have to close it, then!" She trotted across and closed the window before exiting the room, shutting the door with a reassuringly solid _thunk._

** * ** * **

"So you think we're ready?" Raditz said.

"Yes," Vegeta said.

"So, what you're saying is, we're ready?" Goku asked.

Vegeta whirled around. Yes, Kakkarot, we're ready!"

"We're ready?" Raditz asked, tweaking one of the machine heads of his guitar.

"For the final blasted time, yes, we are ready!" Vegeta yelled.

"Okay, okay, calm down! We were only asking!" Goku said. "So how do we go about this next step anyway?"

"Um… once again, I'm not exactly sure…"

"What we need is a gig," Tomatta offered. 

"What you guys need," said a soft female voice, "is a manager." 

** * ** * **

**AN** - right, as well as the usually plea to review (if you've reviewed before… REVIEW AGAIN!) with some constructive criticism, or just flames or just random "this is insert word here" statements, me and Shindo have come up with an idea.

Review us with a song (rock only – and this discludes Nu-metal and songs we don't like) you would like to hear Death Saiyan… uh… "sing", to use the word broadly. So broadly, in fact, the word might snap. Some songs we might re-write to make them DBZ-ish (we've already done that to several songs, and snippets of which will be used in later chapters, the full versions (with their original title and band) posted in special chapters after the story).

- Paul n Shindo


	4. Let the Android Do The Talking

Disclaimer: 

**Paul and Shindo storm through FUNimation's HQ, fighting their way to the very top of the gleaming steel and glass structure. When sudenly, out of nowhere…**

Gen Fukunaga: **synched badly, as if done by his own company** "Hey, what are you doing here, you swarthy Englishmen?"

Paul: "Hahahaha! Your time has come!"

Shindo: "Yeah, lets get him, lads!"

Paul: **looking behind him** "We have lads?"

Shindo: "… Uh… good point. Lets get medieval on his arse!"

Paul: "Dude, leave his arse alone!"

Shindo: **sighs** "Just get 'im!"

**Paul and Shindo jump on Gen and start heat-butting him to a pulp, with cries of "Whey-aye!"**

Gen: "No… Must… use…"

Shindo: "No, he's reaching for his Mighty Weapon!"

Paul: "Ew!"

Shindo: "… Not like that, you tool! He's going for his FUNimation pen of absolute dubbing!"

Paul: **Gasps** "No, oh god no!"

Gen: BWA-HA-HA-HA… **choke, choke, cough, hack** "I really must give up smoking…"

Paul: "Quick, whilst he's choking on his own tar and phlegm!"

Shindo: "Already one step ahead of you 'ole buddy!"

**Shindo reaches into his jacket and steals the deeds to DBZ**

Shindo: "I got them! I got them!"

Paul: "LEGGIT!"

**Paul and Shindo quickly turn about and run away like the cowards they are**

Chapter 4 - Let The Android Do The Talking

"What you guys need, is a manager."

"Yeah, you said that already…" Vegeta said with a yawn as 18 peeled her self from the wall and strutted over to them. Cukumbri poked her head around the door and smiled.

"Hi Raditz," she cooed.

"Hi Cukumbri," Raditz answered, waving his tail at her. She responded with a blush and a giggle before running off, presumably to the kitchen.

"So what is it a manager will do for us?" Goku asked, perched on the amp, his legs dangling.

"I'll… I mean, _your manager will make sure you get the gigs you need, as well as a contract with a large multi-national music record label," 18 said. Mirai flicked his hair to the side._

"Will that mean… money?"

"Oh yes," 18 said nodding.

"What sort of person are we looking for, to be our manager?" Raditz asked.

"Well, aggressive, mean spirited, a hard bargain…"

"In other words… you." Vegeta said, flatly.

"You bet your ass, sweety," 18 said with a smile. Vegeta blinked as his mind tried to forget the fact that the artificial serving wench just referred to his posterior and to his person as "sweety".

"Anyway, if we _did take you on as our manager, what would the first thing tat you would do?" Raditz asked._

"Why, get a you a gig at Orangestar High School, of course," 18 said with a smile that was altogether far too sweet.

"Orangestar High Scgool?!" Cried Gohan, almost falling of his stool behind the drum kit.

"Hmmm… " mused Vegeta, thinking this over.

"I hear that place is _always_ looking for bands, for all the parties and stuff," Goku said, scratching his head.

"But…"

"Yes, just think of it," 18 purred. "All those influential teenagers talking about that abnd that played there."

"But…"

"You'd be in the school magazine also," 18 prompted.

"But…"

"Yes, this could be what we're looking for," Chuckled vegeta.

"But…"

"But what!" Vegeta shouted, wheeling around on Gohan.

"It's _Orangestar High School!_" Gohan cried,

"I fail to see the problem," Vegeta said flatly.

"Trunks, Goten and Applor are enrolled at Orangestar High School!" Gohan shouted slowly.

Vegeta's face dropped. "_That_ I see as a problem…"

"We could always not allow them to go to the party…" a voice rumbled.

"And how do we stop a trio of Super Saiyans, huh?!" Vegeta asked, turning and looking up to the peaks of Mount Brolli.

"We tie them up," the Legendary said with a grin and glint in his eyes. Everybody took several steps away form him.

"Yes…" Vegeta said with a chuckle. "Yes, that will work nicely." The chuckle quickly evolved into a laugh, which then transformed into a bout of manic laughter. One by one, everybody in the room joined in the laughter, although not quite as manically as Vegeta. Goku paused mid-laugh and blinked.

"What are we laughing at?" he had barely got the words out when Vegeta's hurled bass hit him in the side of the head, resulting with a rather musical squawking-twang that reverberated from the amplifiers.

"Get out!"

** * ** * **

Applor, Trunks and Goten idly sat slumped on the couch, Trunks thumb pressing the Remote Control for the television set, flicking through channels, the trio chanting "Boring," at every channel they came to. Nature documentary after nature documentary flicked past the screen, broken up by the occasional history program boasting about how Hercule Satan saved the world by beating that monster Cell.

Another channel came on and Trunks was about to change over when something caught his eye. Hercule was prancing about the stage in leathers, wearing more gold than usual, and a pair of shades over his eyes. Trunks frowned and turned the volume up, a little bit so that they could here what was being said. Or, in this case, rapped.

"Yeah, uh-huh! Now who rules! Uh-huh, oh yeah!" Hercule cried, doing the infamous victory sign.

The trio stared at the TV in disbelief at what they were seeing as Hercule slinked across the music video, dancing jerkily and rapping his 'song', his lips not even moving in time with the words. By some sort of miracle, 18 walked into the room and stood in front of the TV, blocking the boys' sight. They blinked, looked at each other and screamed in fear before taking control of themselves again.

"What on _earth_ are you doing?!" 18 said, looking at them bewildered.

"That loudmouth Hercule's on TV," Trunks pointed out.

"So? He's _always_ on TV," 18 said with a sigh.

"I know, but this time he's _singing_," Goten urged. 18 frowned and looked behind her at the Television, and sure enough, there was Hercule ponsing about, trying to look like a rapper. 18 shuddered before turning back around to the three boys.

"I need you three to do me a favour," 18 asked.

"Uh… what kind off favour?" Trunks asked, looking up.

"Well, I need you to look after Marron for me, just a for a few hours in couple of days time," 18 said simply. The three kids conferred amongst themselves in hushed whispers, then turned back to 18 and nodded in unison.

"Sure, okay," Applor said, elected spokesman for the Chibi Party.

"Great. Be at my house on Thursday…"

"Wait a minute, Thursday?" Trunks interrupted.

"Yeah, Thursday," 18 repeated.

"We're busy on Thursday…" Goten said nervously. 18 was frightening at the best of times.

"Well, you've already agreed to it, so there's no backing out now," she replied.

"We didn't sign any contract, lady." Applor said boldly.

_Shit_! 18 swore to herself. _They won't back out of the party to baby-sit for me… hmmm…_

"I could make it worth your while…" 18 purred, smiling.

"We don't take bribes," Trunks said flatly.

"I wasn't going to _bribe_ you," the Android replied with political smoothness. "I was going to give you full-access to our fridge."

"You mean it?" Goten asked, his little face lighting up.

"Sure," 18 said and smiled.

"Full-access, no items barred?" Applor asked.

"Of course."

"Gentleman, a word please," Trunks said, and the trio went back into a huddle.

"This is a trick," Trunks hissed, sneaking a light-speed glance at Android 18 as she smiled at the boys, with what Trunks thought of as a smile so sickly it would make even Vegeta think about kicking a puppy.

"But, the food…" Goten whimpered.

"The food is a distraction," Trunks hissed. "She obviously wants us to stay away from that party."

"And did you notice that she came out of the Gravity room?" Applor added.

Trunks nodded. "Yeah. Whatever it is our fathers are up to, she's part of it as well."

"So… that means _they_'ll be there as well?" Goten asked.

"Probably," Trunks mused, then cracked a wicked grin. "That'll give us the perfect opportunity to get our own back."

"Yeah!" Goten hissed. "Lets go to that party!"

The three turned back, and 18 watched as Trunks cleared his throat.

"Although your little… " Trunks hesitated as he thought of the choice word. "_offer_ to give us free-reign of the fridge on Thursday is very appealing, we have higher things to think of."

"What?" 18 asked, looking slightly confused.

"Our dates will kill us," Applor explained.

"Oh I see…" 18 said. _Curses!_  "Oh well, looks like we'll have to dump her on Roshi."

"Okay then," Goten said as 18 turned and headed back towards the corridor. The three waited until she was out of sight when they all turned to look at each other on the sofa.

"This is so going to _rock_!" Applor grinned.

"Yeah… but she must have been really desperate, to offer us the fridge and all," Trunks considered.

"What do you think they're try next?" Goten asked.

"Nothing short of brute force," Trunks said sternly. "We're not letting anything stop us from going to that party!"

Applor laughed. "And besides, who' going to stop Atenks?"

The three fell quiet as a name fell into their minds, then together they shrieked: "Brolli!"

** * ** * **

"Well?" Vegeta asked as 18 stepped through the doorway. She shook her head.

"Shit!" Raditz hissed.

"Looks like we're going to have to go to plan B," Vegeta said, thumping his hand into the palm of his fist.

"But… we don't _have_ a plan B," Goku said, hopping down from the amplifier.

"Oh yes we do, Kakkarot. It's just your simplistic mind can't remember it," Vegeta said and turned away.

"What is it then?" Goku asked.

"Not telling," Vegeta sniffed.

"Awww, go on!" Goku pleaded.

"Kakkarot, I wouldn't tell you even if you were the last Saiyan alive," replied Vegeta.

"That's true," mused Goku. "You didn't tell me anything even when I WAS the last Saiyan alive."

"Anyway!" Gohan shouted. "We don't know that we definitely have the gig yet!"

"Pfft, always the pessimist!" Vegeta snorted, then wheeled about to confront 18. "You'll sort that out for us, won't you?"

"Of course," 18 smiled. "I'm not your manager for nothing you know."

Vegeta smiled evilly. "That's what I like to hear, now go to that school and get us a gig!"

"But…"

"What is it this time, Gohan?!" Vegeta snapped.

"It's a Sunday."

"So?"

"School's closed over the weekend," Gohan said simply. Vegeta stood silent for a moment, then shuddered.

"Typical human institutes, you don't need them, and then when you _really_ need them, they're closed."

"I know, remember that time we had to go to hospital because Bulma poisoned us accidentally with her stew…"

"And you feinted at the site of a cardiac needle lying on the counter, yes I remember that well, Kakkarot," said Vegeta with a chuckle.

"No, that's the time you got drunk on the Lookout and fell off," corrected Goku.

"He fell off?" Nappa asked. "You mean you pushed him!"

"Me? I did not!" Goku cried, going pale.

"He _pushed_ me?!" Vegeta cried, going Super.

"Yes, he thought it would be funny," Turlus sighed.

"How was I supposed to know you were to drunk to remember how to fly!" Goku cried defensively.

"Kakkarot," Vegeta growled, "one of these days I'm going to sneak into your bed chamber when you're asleep and stick you full of needles."

"Well there was no need for that," Mirai said a minute later after the smoke had cleared down.

"I didn't know he would fly off through the roof like that!" Vegeta said, dusting himself down.

"I'll go find him and calm him down," Gohan sighed, powering up and flying off through the hole in the ceiling and into the evening sky.

"You don't have to…" Vegeta murmured.

"Yes he does, he's our guitarist," Raditz said.

"Drat. But he doesn't _have_ to be!" Vegeta whined.

"Who else is going to play the guitar?" Mirai asked.

"Uh… Tomatta?" Vegeta asked.

"No way!"

"Nappa?"

"Count _me_ out!"

"Brolli?"

"You want me to wear that school uniform?! Fuck _right_ off!"

"Damnit… Turlus? Would you like a shot at…"

"Nope."

"I _hate_ it when  have to depend on Kakkarot! Vegeta growled.

"Oh well, we may as well practice," Raditz said.

"Without a lead guitarist or drummer?" Mirai asked.

"I can fill in for Gohan for a little while," Turlus said. "And you don't _need_ a lead guitarist, Raditz'll just have to play both parts, that's all."

"That should be easy enough, but can you drum?" Raditz asked Turlus.

"Sure, I've seen Gohan do it enough. Shouldn't be a problem," Turlus replied.

"Sure, I bet that's what your goons said about fighting Kakkarot's little minions," Vegeta sniggered.

"Listen, do you want to train or not?" Turlus asked.

"Yes," Vegeta sighed and picked up his freshly-stringed bass, then 18 cleared her throat.

"What is it?" Raditz asked, looking across.

"When do you want me to see about this gig?" she asked.

"Oh… uh… tomorrow morning should be fine," Vegeta said, plucking at the new string.

"Okay, I'll see the headmaster at the high school about getting you a gig on Thursday," 18 said then headed out the door. Vegeta punched the air in triumph.

"We're on our way, lads!"

** * ** * **

The rest of the night passed without a hitch, well, mostly. Turlus proved to be a fairly adequate drummer, although his mischievous-side did cause him a tendency to speed up the tempo of the songs slightly. Vegeta decided enough was enough when they went through several songs in about five minutes, and blasted him through the wall and into Bulma's workshop, where she was busy testing some sort of weird device.

When Goku and Gohan returned, they took up their positions silently, though they soon got into the flow of things. Gohan's arms blurred as he drummed, and the two Saiyan brothers started loafing about across the Gravity chamber, aided by Infra-red leads from their amps to their guitars, leaving them able to fly about, somersault, and even attack each other.

Their first training session was a success, despite Vegeta breaking a further three strings during the course of the night, and attack Goku when they had a disagreement over which song to play next. Vegeta wanted to try his hand at 'Waste My Hate', where as Goku wanted to play "Who Wants To Live Forever", a song he thought Vegeta would enjoy playing. What he didn't expect was to have the Prince's jet-black bass thrown at his head for the second time that night.

The next morning, 18 stuck to her agreement, and flew to the mainland, and from there headed towards Satan City quickly, not wanting to be late for her first day at school, as it were. The mountains and cities flashed past quickly under her as she flew across the country side, and then skidded to a halt as a large expanse of metropolis stretched out below her.

"This must be it…" she mused. "Huh, it's not _that_ big."

Dropping quickly from the sky, she landed in a back-alley and emerged into the light of the street tidying her hair. She ignored the strange glances from several people, as she walked down the street, searching for the kai signatures of the three trouble-causing Saiyans. She turned about, trying not to look like an idiot, and walked back down the street she'd just came from, and towards the three signals.

She arrived at a the gates to a large building and looked up, seeing the name stretched over a cast-iron fence with high railings.

"Sheesh, it looks like a jail…" 18 said shaking her head with a chuckle. "It'll take more than _that_ to keep a Saiyan in!"

Casually, she opened a gate and strolled up the path to the large double door of the school, looking about as teenagers on free periods lounged about on the grass in the sunny weather, the younger ones running about playing games. She smiled, beside her self, as she pushed open the glass door, the portal swinging inwards. Glancing about into the shadowed lobby, 18 made her way across to the reception.

"Can  help you?" asked the blonde air-head behind the desk.

"Yes, you can show me where the Headmaster's Office is," 18 said dryly.

"I can't _show_ you, but I can _tell_ you," the receptionist said with a giggle.

"Whatever, just hurry up."

"My, aren't we a moody one," the receptionist giggled again before giving 18 the directions. The android left without saying thank-you and headed through the school, her kai-senses alert for the three signatures that were bound to cause trouble if they saw her.

Turning right onto a stairwell, a kid ran into her, bouncing back off her body and landing on his rear.

"Hey, watch it!" 18 snapped, glaring down at the teenage schoolboy.

"S-sorry!" the kid said, shocked. He narrowed his own eyes. "Hey, you're number 18, aren't you?"

"So?"

"So, you lost to Hercule!"

18's face went red with rage. "I did _not_ loose! Let him win!"

"Yeah, sure ya did! Like a _girl_ could ever win the Martial Arts Tournament!" the kid sneered. 18 gave him a death-glare before stepping over him and walking away, her fists clenched so tightly that they went white. Quickly she walked away, making her way through the school, ignoring the hushed comments as people recognized her and trying to keep her cool. Eventually, she came to the Headmaster's office ad opened the door. She stepped into the antechamber, a secretaries desk lining one wall, and opposite her a line of chairs. Three of the five were occupied by students, their heads hung in fear. One of them was praying.

She walked through the room and was about to open the door to the office when the receptionist barked:

"The principle's in a meeting!"

"Bite me, you old hag," 18 yelled back and opened the door. She looked ito the room and saw the Principle and a cluster of parents around his desk.

"… and we at Orangestar High School don't tolerate THAT sort of perversity. It will take the school nurse at least a _week_ to recover… " the principle was saying. He looked up and saw 18. "Can I help you, Miss?"

"_Mizz_, actually," 18 snarled. That quip from the brat had left her in a very bad mood.

"I'm sorry, _Mizz…"_

"Here, you're 18, aren't you? The one who lost to Hercule Satan few years ago…"

"_Shut up and get out!_" 18 screamed, pointing at the door. The parents scrabbled to get out of the room, two of the larger members getting stuck in the door, only managing to get out after 18 slammed the door on them, sending them hurling across the antechamber, and knocking the door off its hinges in the process.

"Uh… can I help you, Mizz?" the principle asked, trying to dig through his chair with his shoulder blades.

"Yes, as a matter of fact you can. First of all, I want you to give several students extra homework on Thursday night, to be handed in Friday morning," 18 said.

"O-of course!" the Principle said.

"Secondly, you can hire a band, known as Death Saiyan, to play at the school party on the same night," said 18. The principle paused.

"Uh… we already have a band booked…"

"_Cancel them then!_" 18 yelled. The Principle jumped in fright and hid behind the chair.

"Y-yes m–m-madam," he stuttered.

"Good… that's all you an do for me then," 18 chuckled and turned around.

"Uh… M-mizz?"

"What?" 18 said, pausing in the doorway.

"Uh… what's the name of the pupils?"

"Oh yes, I almost forgot," 1 said with an unpleasant smile. "Trunks Briefs, Goten Son, and Applor."

The principle groaned. "Oh _them._"

** * ** * **

"Vegeta, do we have to have a practice session this early?" Goku complained.

"What do you mean, _early_?" Vegeta asked. "You usually get up early to spar with your brother!"

"Yes, but that's _fighting_!" Goku said. "And Chi-Chi always makes us a good meal afterwards."

Vegeta paused for thought. "Well, just think of this as fighting with _instruments_."

"Wow, playing guitar will actually make me stronger?" Goku asked, amazed.

"Yes, Kakkarot, it will," answered. Vegeta. Well, it was _technically_ true. The muscles around his wrists would get a little stronger from all the plucking and holding of strings. And then there was the weight of the guitars, and the equipment. And the jumping around like idiots that Kakkarot and his weakling brother did was _bound_ to do _something_, wasn't it?

"Cool, we should start training earlier, then!" Goku cried, seizing his guitar with renewed enthusiasm.

"Goku, you're so Naïve…" Mirai said shaking his head, his hair covering the large grin o his face. All this hanging around with his father and his younger self were having a bad effect on the savior from the future, he was sure of it.

"Alright then," Gohan said, holding his drum sticks aloft. "'Every Little Thing Counts'! 3, 2, 1, lets jam!" he said, counting them in. Goku, Raditz and Vegeta started pounding at the strings as Gohan started hammering out the beat, leaving Mirai to fill in with the vocals.

"I'm too out there, to be here all the time. Does it mean, that I don't wanna stay! Anybody, can get talked to when they're not down, does it mean that I don't feel the same?

"It's so hard, it's so hard to stay alive! When there's no room to breathe!"

"And you stay alive, you sta-a-a-y a-a-a-live!" Trunks sang, the others joining in with the chorus as Trunks thrashed his head, the lilac hair flailing about.

The song came to an end with Gohan clashing a symbol and a power chord from the guitars and bass. Trunks looked up with a grin, and laughed.

"Man, that was excellent! Lets try something else upbeat!" he cried excitedly.

"If I were you, I would sort out a play list for your gig on Thursday," 18 purred.

"_Thursday_?!" Raditz asked. "So soon?"

"Relax, you guys were good enough for a lousy High School party," 18 said.

"Pfft, you're just saying that because you're our manager," Vegeta sneered, then caught her gaze. "Or maybe not…"

"Listen, you guys aren't bad. Better than those punks that go about calling themselves bands _these_ days, at least." 18 said.

"You think so?" Goku asked.

"You _have _heard the sort of stuff those three listen to, right?" Everybody nodded solemnly. "Then it's settled! Orangestar High School, 6 O' Clock in the evening, Thursday night. Got it?"

"Yes, 18," Vegeta said, rolling his eyes. The android stared at the Saiyan Prince for a moment.

"Is there something different about you, Vegeta?" she asked after a while.

"No…?" Vegeta said, suddenly becoming aware of himself.

"That's your Saiyan armour you're wearing, isn't it?" 18 asked.

"Maybe..."

" Except you've painted it black…"

"Maybe…"

"Vegeta?"

"Yes?"

"Why?"

"No reason…" Vegeta shuffled his fete under her stare. He _knew_ he was more powerful than her by several million levels in power, but for some reason he felt as though he had just been caught blasting low-level weakling peasants by his father, and scolded for showing a poor example to his people.

"Why, Vegeta?" 18 asked again.

"mumblemumblemumble," said Vegeta.

"What was that?"

"I said ''cos I felt like it'" Vegeta mumbled.

"That's better. See you later," and with that, 18 turned around, leaving the Gravity Chamber. For a brief second, just before the sound-proofing re-activated, Vegeta was _sure_ he could here 18 laughing hysterically.

"I'll get you, you demented over-grown toaster… I'll get you…"

"Uh… Vegeta?"

"Yes, Raditz?"

 "Why _did_ you paint your armour black?"

"Just drop it, will you?" Vegeta snapped. "And get back to jamming, we've only got another three days before we start our way up the musical ladder!"

"I thought we were doing this to fight against The Noise?" Goku said.

"The Noise is currently at the top of the musical ladder, Kakkarot!"

"So why don't we just kick out the ladder from under it?" Goku asked.

"I was speaking metaphorically…" Vegeta sighed.

"Meta-what… OW!" Goku cried, clutching his head as a twisted chord sprang out the amps and Vegeta's bass bounced away.

"Get out!"

** * ** * **

**AN:** Well, that's chapter four posted. NOW REVIEW! Oh yes, and please, I need more suggestions on songs. Put them in the reviews. C'mon, you MUST want to see  afavourite rock song of yours put up on this story! And Elbereth, your request has been accepted. One Fine Day (title may be changed) WILL feature in this fic somewhere. I promise.

-Paul


	5. Awaken AKA: Vegeta's Crazy Dream

Disclaimer: 

Announcer Guy: "Last time, on the Paul n Shindo Show!

**Scenes of Paul 'n Shindo beating up Gen and stealing the Deeds to DBZ**

Announcer Guy: "And now back to the show..."

**Paul and Shindo stand in a ring of candles amidst a shadow-filled room. In Shindo's hand, is the contracts, deeds and other legal bindings that one needs to own DBZ**

Voice in the Darkness: "So… you have the… merchandise?"

Shindo: "Yep."

Voice: "Is it… is it _real_?"

Paul: "I bloody hope so, we went through a lot of work to get this."

Shindo: "Yeah, -ing airplane tickets to –ing Japan don't grow on trees you –ing know!"

Voice: **sounding confused** "What does "ing" mean?"

Paul: "Don't ask…"

Voice #2: "Whatever it is, it sounds disrespectful."

Voice: "We don't like disrespect."

Paul: "Tough. Do you have the cash, or don't you?"

Voice: "We may have, although that looks like quite a lot of documentation for one anime."

Shindo: "We haven't had a chance to have a look yet… hmmm, what's this…" **Shindo studies the documentation** "Argh!"

Paul: "What?!"

Shindo: "It's… it's…"

Voice #2: "It's what?"

Shindo: **wailing** "It's the deeds to the English dubs of Dragonball GT!"

Voice: "Quick, burn it!"

Voice #2: "Indeed! Such a heinous thing must be cleaned by holy fire!"

**Shindo quickly scrumples up DBGT and tosses it into the ring of candles, where it quickly burns**

Voice: "Good. Not only have to rid the world of that filth, but we have acquired the most popular anime _ever!_"

**The two voices in the darkness burst into evil laughter**

Voice: "Now the we have completed our mission, BWAHAHAHAHA!"

Voice #2: "Yes, now the BBC shall be popular again!"

Paul and Shindo: "No! What have we done?!"

Chapter 5: Awaken (a.k.a., Vegeta's Crazy Dream)

"Right, are we finished yet?" Vegeta demanded, lowering his bass. The band had been practicing for most of the night, and although they weren't tired, Vegeta was getting bored now.

"Sure, I guess so," Goku said with a shrug.

"I'm done," Raditz agreed.

"Ok, let's call it a nigh then gang," Mirai said, sliding the microphone back into the stand and slumped onto the floor. The others stowed their gear as switched off the amps before sauntering away to their various homes. Mirai stood up and nodded goodnight to his father, heading straight up to his bedroom, pausing in on Trunks' bedroom to say goodnight and talk with his younger self. The pair saw each other as brothers, in a weird freaky kind of way. They have been the same person, right down to the genetic structure, but they were so different when it came to personality. Trunks liked Mirai for his good nature and hair, whilst Mirai liked Trunks for his sense of humour and strength of character.

Vegeta waited until everybody was out the Gravity Chamber before cackling to himself hysterically.

"This is it, Kakkarot!" he laughed. "Come Thursday, I shall show you that I! Vegeta! Am the greatest guitarist of them all! BWAHAHAHA!"

Stalking out the Gravity Chamber, he took a quick shower before heading to bed. He had just stepped out the bathroom when a certain lilac-haired individual crept out of his Bedroom.

"Trunks, what the hell do you think you were doing in my bedroom?" Vegeta snapped. Trunks' head spun about, and a guilty expression spread across his face.

"I, uh, uh…." Trunks stammered. He'd been caught out, and he couldn't think of an excuse!

"I've told you before," Vegeta snarled. "I'm not going to tell you what we are doing!"

It was all Trunks could do to _not_ sigh with relief.

"Yes father, I'm sorry. Goodnight," Trunks said and hurried off to his own bedroom.

"Goodnight, my son," Vegeta said, shaking his head, a sly smile crossing over his mouth. "Little brat, he takes after his father so much, heh, heh, heh."

The Prince slipped into the bedroom quietly, as not to disturb the sleeping Bulma, and slipped out of his dressing gown and under the covers. Taking a quick drink of water from the bottle on the bedside, he lay on his back and closed his eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.

** * ** * **

Vegeta walked through the double automatic glass doors, the hydraulics hissing as they closed behind him. Ahead of him was a counter, behind which was a girl with long golden hair standing with her back to him. He strode forwards, holding a cage up high.

"I wish to make a complaint!" Vegeta yelled as he reached the desk. When the girl didn't move, Vegeta growled and cleared his throat.

"Hello, miss!"

"What do you mean, 'miss'?!" the girl said turning around.

"I'm sorry, I have a cold," Vegeta said flatly, then almost choked as he saw her face, a face that was devoid of eyebrows. "Kakkarot?!"

"Hi Veggie!" Goku cried cheerfully, his long Super Saiyan 3 hair waving as he waved.

"I told you not to call me that!" Vegeta growled. "Anyway… I wish to make a complaint!"

"Sorry, we've closed for lunch," Goku said hurriedly and tried to turn away again.

"Never mind that, my lad!" Vegeta snapped, reaching across the counter with his free hand and seizing Goku by the hair before he could move away. "I wish to complain about this Namek that I purchased not 'alf an hour ago from this very boutique!"

"Ah yes, the… uh… Piccolo Green? What, uh, wrong with it?" Goku asked, looking at the Namek lying stiffly at the bottom of the cage, arms and legs folded in a meditating position.

"I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad," Vegeta said flatly. "It's dead, that's what's wrong with it."

"No, no. It's mediating," replied Goku.

"Look matey. I know a dead Namek when I see one…" said Vegeta, holding the cage aloft between the two of them. "Well, I'm looking at one right now," 

"No, no! It's not dead, squire, it's resting! Remarkable race, the Piccolo Green! _Beautiful_ pigment!"

"The pigment don't enter it!" Vegeta snarled. "He's stone dead!"

"No, no! He's _resting_," Goku countered.

Vegeta looked at Goku for some time with his eyes narrowed, then said: "Alright then… If he's resting, I'll wake him up!"

Vegeta leant closer to the cage so that his face was pressed up against the bars and screamed.

"_Allo' Polly Piccolo!!! I've got a lovely bag of senzu beans here for…_"

"There! he moved!" Goku said excitedly.

"No he didn't!" Vegeta said, exasperated at this new event. "That was you hitting the cage!"

"I never!"

"Yes you did!" Vegeta cried, then leaned back to the cage. "_Allo Polly! Wakey Wakey!_" Vegeta screamed again, then opened the cage and took Piccolo out of it, held him by the feet and slammed him down onto the counter.

"_Testing_!" Vegeta cried, hitting Piccolo repeatedly off of the counter. "_Show a leg! This is your Nine O' Clock Alarm Call!"_

Vegeta started belting the Namek off the corner, the floor, and the wall for several more minutes as Goku watched, his eyes wide with shock. Vegeta calmed down and threw the stiff Namek back into its cage and glared at Goku, as he stared transfixed at the battered Piccolo.

"No, no. He's stunned." Goku said triumphantly.

"Stunned??!!"

"Yeeeeeeaaaaaah!" Goku said. "You stunned him just as he was waking up! Piccolo Greens stun easily!"

"Now listen, Kakkarot," snarled Vegeta. "I've had enough of this! That Namek is definitely deceased! And when I purchased, him not 'alf and hour ago, you assured me that his total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a prolonged whinge!"

"Oh, he's, uh, he's probably pinning for the lookout," Goku explained, scratching the back of his head.

"Pining for the Lookout?! _Pining_ for the _Lookout_??!!" What kind of talk is that?!" Vegeta cried. "Look! Why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got him home!"

"The Piccolo Green _prefers _meditating on his back! Remarkable race, ay squire? _Beautiful scalage!_" Goku added desperately.

"Look, I took the liberty of examining that Namek when I got it home, and I discovered that the _only_ reason that it had been sitting on its stool in the _first place_ was that it had been nailed there!" Vegeta remarked.

"Well…" said Goku, "of _course_ it had been _nailed there_! If I hadn't of _nailed_ that Namek down, it would have muscled up to them bars, bent 'em apart with it's antenna, and _voom!_"

"Voom?!" cried Vegeta, "_Voom?!_ Mate, this Namek wouldn't go _voom_ if you put four million volts through it! It's _bleeding_ _demised_!"

"No noooo!" Goku said, waving his hands dismissively. "He's _pinning_!"

"He's _not_ pinning, he's _passed_ on! This Namek is _no more_! He has _ceased_ to _be_! It's a _stiff_! Derift of _life_! He rests in peace! He's _snuffed_ it! He's up the twig and kicked the bucket! He's shuffled off this mortal coil! Drawn the curtains! And joined the bleeding choir invisible! He's extinct!" Vegeta paused for a breath. "In entirety, _this_ is an _Ex-Namek!_"

Goku looked at Vegeta for a while and sniffed. "Well, I'd better replace it then," he said, snatching the cage from Vegeta's hand and hurling it through the wall.

Vegeta sighed and leant against the counter as Goku headed into the back room. "If you want to do anything right in this world, you have to go: nyeeeeeeeeah! _Nyeeah_ _nyeeah_ _nyeaaaaah_…" He stopped screeching as Goku returned.

"Sorry squire," Goku said apologetically, "I've just had a look and we're right out of Nameks."

"I see! I see! I get the picture!" Vegeta shouted, straightening up.

"I got a slug," Goku said, holding up Yajirobe by the hair. Vegeta paused, then peered closer at the dangling fat Samurai.

"Does it talk?" he asked, wearily.

"Not really… it more sort of complains and watches TV," said Goku.

"_Well it's scarcely a replacement then, is it??!!"_ Vegeta yelled, Goku's hair flying out behind him. The rampant Prince then seized Yajirobe and started beating it off the wall. "_Bleeding Slug!_"

"Listen Veggie…" Goku said, a sorrowful expression on his face. Vegeta paused what he was doing and looked at the third-class Saiyan.

"I didn't want to be a pet shop owner!" Goku cried. "I wanted to be… A Spice Girl!"

"Oh, shut up!" Vegeta said, hitting Goku over the head with Yajirobe before grabbing the Saiyan's long golden hair and dragging him away. "I'm telling you, you can't get decent service anywhere these days…"

** * ** * **

Vegeta woke up in a cold sweat and panting; that had been the single worst dream he had _ever_ had in his _life_! Beside him, Bulma mumbled something in her sleep and rolled over so that her back was facing him. Vegeta muttered a curse to Kakkarot and the Namek, before reaching over for the bottle of water and took a drink to quench the dry thirst building up in the back of his throat.

"That was fucked up…" whispered Vegeta under his breath and slumped back onto his pillows, shuddering at the thought of wanting to _buy_ a Namek from _Kakkarot_, before dozing back off to sleep.

** * ** * **

"Vegeta, you look awful!" Raditz said as Vegeta slumped into the Gravity room. His eyes were bloodshot and his usually perfectly jet-black flame-like hair was ruffled.

"Heh, hey Vegeta!" Goku called. "Looks like you're having a bad hair day!"

"The Prince of All Saiyans does not have bad hair days…" Vegeta muttered, slouching past Goku and his brother, taking his position behind and to the left of his son.

"There's _definitely_ something wrong," Brolli muttered to Tomatta.

"I know," Goku's cousin replied, "Vegeta would _never_ pass on a chance to scream at Goku…"

"I'm scared!" Nappa wailed and clung onto Brolli.

"Get off me, you weakling Elite!" the Legendary snarled, shoving the bald Saiyan away.

"Hold me!" Nappa sniveled.

"Moron…" Brolli muttered, turning his back on the Prince's old companion, as Raditz started a chuga-chuga rhythm on his guitar.

"1, 2, Ah 1, 2, 3, 4!" Gohan cried, counting them in on his drum sticks.

Goku's arm flashed down as he struck a series of chords, opening up with a  simplistic riff, but it sounded good too. Raditz and Vegeta struck into the song, delivering a couple of hi-pitched chords at the end of Goku's riff. Then Gohan's drums beat out a simple rhythm, before Trunks opened up on the microphone with simple vocals.

"All I need is a TV show, that and the radio! Down on my luck again, down on my luck again!"

The song carried on, Raditz keeping up the chuga-chuga rhythm, Vegeta's bass backing up the taller, weaker Saiyan's guitar. Goku's fingers moved across the strings easily, his plectrum plucking at the chords and individual strings with ease. The song picked up weight and thundered on its course, the strength of the Saiyan's chords giving extra loudness to the music, and it wasn't long before the amps crashed through the barrier between what humans called 'music' and 'pain'. Solid walls of sound were pulsing from the amplifiers, but still the band crashed onwards, despite the crackles of electricity arcing from guitar to guitar, the static in the air building so much that Vegeta's hair started to rise.

Then Vegeta moved too close to the speaker, the feedback screeching so high that the amp exploded violently, pieces of metal and smoking plastic blasting outwards, engulfing the princes head in a cloud of acrid smoke. Vegeta spluttered and waved his hand quickly to try and disperse the smoke from around his face.

Eventually, the cloud faded away, revealing a rather flustered and blackened Prince, his hair flattened straight back by the blast, so that his princely spikes were pointing behind him instead of up. Everybody stopped and took a look at him, then promptly fell back laughing as the acrid smoke dispersed around the room, leaving the distinct smell of burning hair and plastic in the chamber.

"Vegeta… your hair…" Raditz said between laughter, clutching his chest, trying to keep hiss ides from splitting.

"You like you just got dragged through a hedge backwards," spluttered Tomatta, laughing hard.

"Shut up, the lot of you!" Vegeta cried, clenching his fists tightly. 

"But we can't help it," Goku chuckled. He looked up at Vegeta's expression, and burst out laughing harder,.

"That's it…" Vegeta rasped and stormed off. Mirai pulled himself up onto one knee and watched his father stride out of the room fuming, a disgusted expression on his face.

"I think I'd better go after him…" he said, hurrying after his father. The others just watched him leave, then resumed rolling about on the floor in laughter.

Brolli, laughing so hard that tears were rolling down his cheeks, sat upright suddenly, a look of panic on his face.

"She… she's _here_!" He cried, his eyes bulging lightly in alarm.

"Woah, what is it big fellah?" Goku asked, pulling himself up and looking at his former nemesis. A sound at the door made Goku turn around, and a cheerful voice rang out.

"Hi, have you guys seen Brolli?" Fru asked, stepping into the room and looking about.

"Yeah," Gohan said, turning to where Brolli was standing. "He's right he-" he stopped, gesturing to a patch of empty floor. "Well, he _was_ here."

"Oh?" Fru asked, looking disappointed. "What a pity…"

"Can we give him a message?" Raditz asked, lying on his side, propping his head on his hand.

"Yes, tell him dinner will be ready around seven," Fru said and turned away. After she left, the Saiyans and Gohan all looked at each other and sniggered.

"Looks like Brolli has himself a girlfriend…" Gohan said eventually.

"Yeah, who'd have thought it? Brolli and _her_?" Goku said, scratching the back of his head.

"What's wrong with Fru?" Tomatta asked.

"Well, she's a lovely girl, and all, but… she can't cook!" Goku said with enough emotion in his voice to make that statement come in par with "She slaughters cute innocent little puppies for fun!" or "Hitler?! Sane?! Are you _mad_?!"

"You mean you didn't know?" Turlus asked Tomatta, standing up.

"No… why would I?" Goku's larger cousin asked.

"Well, you two _are_ flat mates." Turlus reminded him.

"I know that, it's hard not to notice something like that," Tomatta said.

** * ** * **

Not long after The Incident' between Brolli and the Z Fighters, Bulma and Chi-Chi, between them, had decided that the new members of the gang, or the Rat pack, as Chi-Chi had labeled them, could no longer live in the Son Household and Capsule Corp. So, Bulma had volunteered to take them house-hunting. The girls, with Applor in tow, were easy to cater for, and she found them a nice little flat close to the Son's houses. Brolli and Tomatta, however, were quite the opposite, considering it's hard to find a flat that was big enough for two very large Saiyans.

The first flat they had visited, Brolli had become stuck in the doorway, and it had taken Tomatta to drag the Legendary out, with a large section of the wall coming with him. Bulma had muttered an apology to the pail saleswoman, and had made a hasty retreat, dragging two very confused-looking Saiyans behind her.

The next flat was equally a disaster, as Tomatta (naturally the wider of the two) had become stuck in the doorway and refused to budge. It took Bulma all her negotiating skills to stop Brolli from powering up into his Legendary (turquoise hair and black eyes, with the golden aura of a Super Saiyan and a power level to match) transformation to break him out of the wall. Of course, Bulma would not have minded if Brolli had opted to use some sort of leverage, but Oh-no, the exceptionally large Saiyan had said "Hold still, Tomatta. This won't hurt a bit," and had already formed a green ball of kai in his hand. Both Bulma and Tomatta screamed 'NO!' at the same time, and Brolli had subdued, after a lengthy period of nagging from Bulma.

Tomatta was eventually dragged out the doorway, again with a large section of wall in tow, and again Bulma apologised quickly to the estate agent before beating a hasty retreat, with two bemused Saiyans walking along behind her, having a pleasant conversation about the pros and cons of being Saiyans.

So far, the only 'cons' they had thought up was the food bill they got from restaurants and Saiyan Metabolism, which made getting drunk a lot harder as well.

The third apartment Bulma had taken them to see was such a disaster, Bulma almost broke down and cried. This one was a luxury apartment, and the estate agency had already called in some builders to make the doors wider, specially, for the Saiyan pair. It was _so good_, however, that as soon as Brolli and Tomatta had seen the inside, they had both rushed for the doorway. The enlarged doorway may have been big enough for one Saiyan going through at a time, but no way, not a chance on Earth, did the doorway have the slightest, most _remote_ possible chance that it would allow both Brolli and Tomatta to enter the apartment _at the same time_.

The result was a two-Saiyan pileup in the doorway, and they were stuck tight.

Bulma screamed at the two warriors, the estate agent screamed at the tow warriors, and the two warriors screamed at each other. Eventually, Bulma and the estate agent ran out of breath, leaving Brolli and Tomatta to argue amongst themselves. The fighting became so intense, that the two blasted into Super right there in the doorway, the walls being shredded by the sheer force of the energy that erupted around the two Super Saiyans. Then they started fighting, and Brolli – inevitably – won, by one black eye and a bloody lip to nil.

Grudgingly, Bulma stormed off dragging two smug-looking Super Saiyans behind her. Bulma was now _positive_ that they were doing this on purpose, that they were purposefully wrecking the apartments before they even moved into them so that Capsule Corp would have to pay the repair bills, eventually making Bulma give up, and allowing the two to stay where they were – namely; Tomatta with Goku, Raditz, Chi-Chi, Goten, and Brolli with Vegeta, Bulma, Trunks, Professor Briefs and Bunny.

Bulma was certain this _wasn't_ going to happen, so the next day, in a last-ditch attempt, she took them to a small apartment on the edge of the city. The apartment was small, but the doorways had been widened due to its previous owner being disabled. Everything was easy-access, and if it wasn't, Bulma was going to damn-well make _sure_ it was easy access, or at the very least, Saiyan-proof.

Brolli and Tomatta had peered through the doorway into the little flat, and somehow managed to get in without causing any damage to the doorframe and surrounding wall.

Bulma sighed with relief, and watched as the two large Saiyans poked around the rooms of the apartment. There were two bedrooms, one larger than the other, and immediately an argument broke out as to who the bigger room was going to belong to. Before the two had managed to get to the stage where they had each other by the throats, Bulma intervened and managed to come to a settlement.

"One, two three!" The pair cried, waving their fists on each count. On the third count, the two lowered their fist, each showing a simple gesture; the clenched fist, the flat palm, or the middle and index fingers spread, laid horizontally.

"Paper beats stone!" Bulma cried. "Brolli, you win!"

"I don't get this game…" Tomatta said with a frown. "Surely stone will beat paper, because… well… it's stone."

Bulma sighed. "Well, paper wraps stone up, you see," she said, explaining in very uncertain terms.

"And scissors can cut paper?" Brolli asked.

"Correct!" Bulma cried – Brolli had picked up the game on the fourth try, three tries ahead of Tomatta.

"And stone… _blunts_… scissors?" Tomatta asked with a frown.

"Have you ever _tried_ cutting a stone with scissors?" Bulma asked putting her hands on her hips and looking up at Goku's cousin. Sometimes, she thought it was hard to believe he was almost as technologically minded as she was.

"Pah!" Brolli said. "Who needs scissors to cut rocks?"

"Yeah, we're _Saiyans_!" Tomatta said, looking up at Brolli and rolling his eyes.

"Of course," Bulma had replied flatly. "How could I possibly have forgotten…"

And so, the two Saiyans had settled down in the flat, Brolli having the larger bedroom, and Tomatta the smaller. The living room was large enough to let the two of them do their own thing, and neither of them could cook very well, but each enjoyed what they made for themselves. The two, it seemed, made a _very_ odd couple indeed.

** * ** * **

"Then why don't you know about Brolli and Fru?!" Goku asked his cousin.

"Um, because he never said?" Tomatta replied, sarcasm oozing from his voice.

"Fair enough," Turlus muttered.

"So Brolli and Fru…" Nappa said. "Who'd of thought, ay?"

"I know, it's so weird," said Goku.

"Is it safe to come out yet?" Brolli rumbled. Everybody turned around and looked at an amplifier. Badly hidden behind it, was Brolli. Muscles bulged out from each side of the large black box.

"Yeah, she's gone," replied Raditz. "It's safe to come out, big guy."

"You sure?" Brolli asked again, one of the muscles shifting nervously.

"Positive," Goku said.

"I think she's gone to the kitchen," supplied Raditz.

"Why do you think that?" Turlus asked.

"It's what _I_'_d_ do," said Raditz, simply.

"Good thinking, keep up the good work, Sherlock," Turlus said and turned around to see Brolli unfold from behind the amplifier.

"So… dude… you and Fru, eh?" Raditz said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Heh, heh, heh."

"What about us?" asked Brolli defensively, his eyes narrowing.

"Nothing!" yelped Raditz, diving behind his now-older-brother.

"Calm down, we're only interested, that's all." Goku said.

"Hmmm…" Brolli muttered.

"For a start, we want to know why you hid," Tomatta said, a smirk on his face.

"She scares me…" Brolli said, shuddering at some internal thought.

"Obviously," scoffed Gohan.

"Has anybody _else_ noticed, that the mightiest warriors in the Universe seem to be controlled by their _mates_?" chuckled Turlus.

"Yeah… I've noticed that too," Raditz said, eying Gohan and Goku.

"Hey, Chi-Chi is a very scary woman when she's angry!" Goku said.

"And so's Videl," Gohan said, adding: "and that… f-frying pan!" Goku, Gohan, Raditz and Brolli shuddered simultaneously as Gohan mentioned the 'F' word.

"I swear those things are magically imbued by some sort of mystical power, from a source so mythic that nobody knows whence it came and whom crea… what?" Goku asked as every turned and looked at him. "It was just a theory…"

"Well, you theory sucked," Turlus said.

"Well, what's _your_ explanation, mister smarty-pants?" Goku said.

"I don't need one," replied Turlus, sticking his tongue out at Goku.

"And why's that?!" said Goku.

"Because," began Turlus with the mirthless grin of those who have their finger on the little red, flashing button marked 'Ultimate Weapon,' "I don't have to worry about a psychotic frying pan-wielding mate, that's why."

"Damn!" gasped Gohan, "That's a bloody good answer!"

** * ** * **

"You mean, you _dreamt_ all that?!" Mirai said in shock. Vegeta glared at his son, his eyes still bloodshot from the lack of sleep.

"Don't look at me as though I'm mad," hissed the prince. "We all have bad dreams… I think it was something I ate."

"Is mom still a bad cook, huh?" asked Mirai.

Vegeta shrugged. "She's getting better… I've noticed Kakkarot has started asking for second helpings." Mirai Trunks nodded. If Goku didn't want to eat something, than that was a bad sign, a very bad sign, and it meant either one of two things: One, he as dying. Or two, the chef was a bloody bad chef.

"So that's why you're so moody, because you had a bad dream?" Mirai asked.

"Not so much the dream," said Vegeta, waving a hand thoughtfully. "It's just that… well… it was so _vivid_! It's like I was in that blasted Monty Python sketch, and I was John Cleese."

Mirai gave Vegeta a scrutinising look, before saying: "Dad, you have _got_ to stop watching that show, this just _proves _you're watching it _way_ too much."

"I am not!" Vegeta shouted.

"Face it, you're _addicted_ to Monty Python, dad!"

"Lies, all lies!"

"Aha! Denial!"

"What?!" Vegeta cried in dismay.

"An addict always denies the fact he's an addict," informed Mirai.

"Fine, I _am_ an addict then!" said Vegeta, trying reverse psychology on his own sort-of-son.

"Aha! I _thought_ so, but it's good that you've seen your addiction."

"Yes, perhaps I should go to one of those little group things, and stand up and say "My name is Vegeta, and I am a Pythoholic," said the Prince dryly, his eyes, dark as onyx on a moonless night, locked on Mirai. His future-son swallowed hard.

"Perhaps I should just leave you to do this your own way…" Mirai said, edging out the room.

Vegeta watched him leave. "Yes, perhaps you should."

** * ** * **

**AN:** Well, there's the end of chapter 5. I'm glad this Fanfic is getting a good rating, you guys are the greatest. But to those who haven't reviewed: please, if you like this fic, review it! Even if it's to nominee a song for the list! There are five songs at the moment, 'Rock is Dead' is under scrutinisation, and I'm currently downloading 'Psycho Man,' as well as looking for the lyrics for it.

On that note, please tell me the name of a good lyrics-site, as it will _definitely_ come in handy for the song-parodies.

- Paul


	6. Let's Get Rocked!

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z. I _used_ to own it, but we accidentally sold it to the BBC. THEY now own DBZ – perhaps now we'll get some decent voice-over actors… man, I'm telling you, I never knew how bad the US FUNi Dubs were until Cartoon Network X started showing them instead of the UK Toei Dubs… **shudders** I swear, if Vegeta's voice has changed, I'll kill them! Though I must admit, Goku and Gohan sound a little better.

Also, we don't own any of the songs mentioned in the Fanfic. All songs/bands will listed at the end of the fic, and the songs we re-write will be posted in full at the end also (only snippets will be used during the chapters, due to tedious-reading purposes – would you HONESTLY want us to put an entire play-list of songs into text during Death Saiyan's gigs?!

- Paul

** * ** * **

Chapter 6 – Lets Get Rocked!

Finally, Thursday had arrived!

The sun rose over West City, and clouds drifted lazily across the sky. Birds sang in the trees, flowers shone with the morning dew still coating their petals and leaves, and a blood-curdling scream echoed across the neighbourhood.

Vegeta picked himself up off the floor and rubbed his side, a scorch mark adorning the T-shirt he had been sleeping in.

"What the _hell_ did you do that for?!" the Prince hissed, not wanting to wake Bulma up, who had miraculously slept through the whole event.

"It's Thursday morning," said Brolli. "You have to be up and ready for the gig."

"_The gig isn't until this evening, you _dolt!" snapped Vegeta, and then flinched. He glanced nervously at Bulma, who simply stirred, burying her face into the pillow and pulling the covers around herself.

"I'll clean the mess up in the morning, daddy," she murmured and fell back to sleep.

"Anyway, how the hell did you get in here?" Vegeta hissed, walking around the bed and pulling on a pair of spandex trousers that were draped unceremoniously over the back of a chair.

"Kakkarot," Brolli said simply. "I bullied him into Instant Trans-thingying me here."

"Kakkarot?!" Vegeta asked looking around quickly. "Where?!"

"Uh… Hi, Veggie…" came a muffled voice. Vegeta paused, and spun around, slamming open the cupboard door with bang.

"Trunks… stop blowing up mommies experiments…" Bulma murmured under her pillow.

Vegeta scowled at the black-haired apparition, who grinned back and gave a sheepish wave.

"Kakkarot, would you please tell me what the hell you are doing in my closet?" Vegeta said, smiling.

Goku squirmed. "Admiring your clothes?" Goku said. Vegeta looked at him for a moment, then reached in and bodily dragged the Saiyan out the cupboard and into the bedroom.

"Whatever, it's too early to argue, even with you," Vegeta snarled and pulled the ruined T-shirt over his head. He tossed it into a bin labeled "Vegeta's Clothing" and then opened a drawer, pulling out a blue, loose vest-top and slipped it on, followed by his white gloves. "Now, are we going to start some training or what?"

"Um… physical or musical?" Goku asked.

"Both," Vegeta said, storming away. Goku and Brolli glanced at each other, the larger one shrugging and following the prince, Goku running after them.

"Both?" Goku called.

"Yes, Kakkarot. Both."

"But, how?" Goku asked. Vegeta hesitated and stopped in the hallway, resulting in Brolli colliding into Vegeta, and then Goku bouncing off the wall of solid muscle that was more commonly known as Brolli, or in some extreme cases, ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…."

"Watch it you oaf!" Vegeta snarled, then straightened his top. "It's so obvious, Kakkarot!"

"It is?" Goku and Brolli asked at the same time.

"Yes, it is! I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yourself," said Vegeta.

"Well what is it, then?" Goku asked.

"What is it?" Vegeta asked, surprised.

"Yeah, what is it?" Goku repeated.

"Uh, you want to know, what it is, we are going to do?" asked Vegeta again.

"_Yes_, Vegeta," Goku said, starting to get impatient.

"Well, uh… it's simple, you see… uh…" Vegeta hesitated again. "Aha! We'll fight and air guitar at the same time!"

"Is that a good idea?" asked Goku. "We might break the guitars…"

Vegeta turned around, looking at Goku under Brolli's armpit and pointed towards the doorway.

"Get out!"

** * ** * **

Mirai and Gohan sat at the kitchen table in Capsule Corp, talking excitedly.

"So then, _I_ said: "Listen pal, I may not know anything about genetics, but I _do_ know that shooting somebody in the face is _not_ a cure for a terminal headache!" Gohan said, causing Future Trunks to burst out laughing, spraying coffee across the table.

"Oh man, that's nothing," Mirai said, wiping coffee from his mouth. "When that weirdo and his hamster went out to destroy the world… Oh, hi dad!" Mirai said, seeing Vegeta storm into the room, trailed by Brolli and Goku, the two rivals' fingers waving in the air.

"Are you coming to join us in our training, my son?" asked Vegeta.

"Sure, why not? I haven't had a decent fight since I fought Perfect Cell," Mirai said with a shrug.

"Hah, that weakling?" Vegeta scoffed. "Any one of us could take that green baka with our limbs amputated."

"Weakling? He nearly killed me…" Mirai breathed.

"Don't worry, we've had lots of things to worry about since Cell," Gohan said, patting his friend on the shoulder.

"Like what?" Trunks asked, as he and Gohan stood up to join the trio in their little venture to the Gravity Chamber.

"Like me," Brolli said with a grin. "Twice."

"Wow," Mirai muttered, hearing the door hiss behind him.

"Raditz, Turlus, what the _blazes_ are you doing here?" Vegeta snapped.

"Training…" Goku's younger brother said.

"Yeah, Trunks let us in this morning," Turlus said.

"Which one?" Vegeta asked with a frown.

"The little 'un," Turlus said.

"I came with Brolli and Goku. Tomatta is around somewhere," said Raditz.

"Where's Nappa?" Brolli asked looking around.

"Oh, he's still asleep," Mirai said.

"I'll get him," Brolli volunteered  with an evil grin.

"No you bloody won't!" Vegeta snarled. "You're here, and you're _staying_! It's about time we got some proper practice in, don't you agree?" He looked at the other Saiyans and Demi-Saiyans, who nodded in agreement. "Right, well let's get started then!"

Their training session went well, and Vegeta soon found himself cranking up the Gravity up to over 550 Gs. Brolli and Tomatta were still un-phased by this gravity, and they took to super-speed fighting, Brolli having to blast into Legendary to keep up with Tomatta's un-naturally high power level that he held whilst in his normal Saiyan state.

Raditz and Turlus decided to sit out for the high-gravity training, still being relatively weak when compared to the likes of the Super Saiyans, and anyway, the couldn't train properly with Goku and Vegeta's fingers flailing like mad as they launched kicks at each other. At one point, Goku called a Timeout because he had snapped a string. Vegeta threw his air-bass at Goku, then cursed when he remembered it wasn't real.

When their physical training was over, the gravity was reduced to a mere one hundred and fifty times Earth gravity, and Vegeta spun around and looked at the assembled troop.

"Right, it's now fifteen-minutes to eleven," said the Prince, "And that means we only have six hours worth of practice time left before we hit the gig."

"I thought we were going to play music?" Goku said, puzzled.

"Shut up, Kakkarot," was Vegeta's response. "Now, I suggest we go through the playlist song by song, over an over again, until we get it _perfect_. Understand?" There was a chorus of 'Yes Vegeta's and one 'Uh-huh' (Goku) as the band members headed over to the make-shift stage set in one corner of the gravity chamber. Raditz and Goku picked up their guitars and checked the strings, whilst Vegeta held his bass close to his face and issued a series of threats to it, in short; "If you don't do as you're told, you will soon find yourself in a position where you are a pile of ash at the bottom of a very sad crater, do you understand you baka piece of wood?" – or words to that effect.

Mirai checked the microphone and stand, whilst Gohan sat down behind the drum-kit and beat out a small riff, checking the tension of the drum skins. Everything was ready to go.

"Alright, let's do this," Vegeta said with a nod to Mirai. "From the top, if you don't mind."

"The top of where?"

"Shut _up_, Kakkarot!"

"_Alright! Orange Star Highscho-o-o-ol!_" Mirai cried into the microphone. "_Are you ready to rock _and_ roll?!_" the lilac-haired Prince waited several seconds, as an imaginary crowd roared. "I _said_! Are you ready to _rock_ and _roll_?!" again he paused, the imaginary crowd roaring even louder. "All right, that's the spirit! This one's called 'Du Hast' and it's dedicated to all those guys with over-bearing girlfriends."

Raditz opened up with the opening chords, modified for guitar from keyboard, then Goku joined in moments later, followed by Vegeta and Gohan with a hard boom of bass. The song kicked off, Raditz and Goku's guitars wailing and Vegeta's bass pounding as Gohan's drums thumped out the beat and Mirai's throaty lyrics sounded out across the chamber.

Enjoying themselves greatly, the band ploughed through the track-list they had laid out for the gig they were about to do, Goku and Raditz, as usual, messing about, Raditz picking up Goku and placing him on his shoulders, then cavorting across the stage-area.

Gohan was laughing as he played, and even Vegeta gave a slight amused smirk as he pulled at the strings of his base, the deep throbbing hum resonating from the amplifiers and across the chamber floor, where Tomatta and Brolli were check-listing everything they needed for tonight show.

"So, have we got everything we need?" Tomatta asked, looking down at the equipment they had gathered together as the band hammered through their songs behind them.

"I think so…" Brolli said eventually, glancing over everything.

"Lights, lasers, gantry, large amps, strings, spare guitars, spare basses…" Tomatta started.

"Spare stage, spare amps, extra strings, spare clothing…" Brolli continued.

"And fifty gallons of beer!"

The two Saiyan Warriors frowned and looked around, where Cukumbri and Fru were heading towards them.

"Beer?" Tomatta asked.

"Well, you _have_ to have beer, don't you!" Fru said, looking determined. Brolli cringed slightly and slowly edged behind Tomatta.

"I dunno, do you?" asked Goku's cousin.

"Sure, how else are you going to celebrate after the show?" Cukumbri supplied. She was smiling, and so was Fru. Brolli and Tomatta gave each other a worried glance then swallowed hard; it was obvious to them that the women were up to something, and whenever they got together, it was _never_ pleasant for the men.

"We were thinking of just finding a pub…" Brolli said uncertainly.

"A pub? What landlord would serve a group of hyper-active Saiyans?" Fru asked.

"A very gullible one?" Tomatta queried.

"Pah! He'd have to be blind _and_ deaf to serve you lot!" said Fru.

"Good pint…" Brolli mumbled behind Tomatta.

"Besides, how late are you going to be out tonight, hmm?" demanded Fru.

"I don't think it's any of your damn business, woman," said Brolli.

"Oh _isn't_ it?!" Fru snapped.

"Not really…"

"Fine then!"

"Fine!"

"Right."

"So…"

"So…?"

"Are you and Raditz still coming over for lunch on Sunday?" asked Fru.

** * ** * **

"Dude, we've _got_ to start getting ready!" Trunks hissed, standing up casually and wiping a speck of blood form his lip.

"Get ready for what?" Goten asked, wiping sweat form his brow.

"Tonight, duh!" said Trunks.

"Tonight…? Oh! Tonight!" Goten gasped. "Damn, I can't believe I almost forgot!"

"You dummy, how could you almost forget about Paris?!" Trunks said, bewildered. "She's like, one of the hottest girls at school!"

"You really think so?" Goten asked.

"Yeah, totally." Trunks answered, stretching his muscles.

"Cool!" Goten beamed. "Your date is pretty too, y'know."

"Are you making eyes at Rayna," Trunks scowled.

"No!" Goten said defensively. "I… uh… just meant… that, y'know, she's cute. But not as cute as Paris."

"Oh she _isn't_ is she not?" Trunks growled.

"Um… we'd better go and get changed." Goten said, desperately trying to change the subject.

"You're right, hey, where is Applor meeting us?" Trunks asked.

"Your house, and so are the girls." Goten answered, tightening the belt of his gaease.

"Right, okay," Trunks answered, dusting down his own purple outfit. "We'd better get back then."

"Definitely, we've only got a couple of hours to get ready."

"Oh man, only a couple of hours?!" Trunks cried in dismay. "We'd better hurry then!" Goten watched as Trunks powered up, his hair rising and flashing golden as lightning cascaded across his body. Then with a burst of energy, he blasted off from the clearing and headed back to capsule corp.

"Hey Trunks, wait for me!" Goten cried, blasting into Ascendant and flying after him.

The two arrived at the large dome-shaped building shortly afterwards and charged straight in.

"Hey, watch where you're going, you guys!" Mirai said as he was almost sent flying by a couple of determined adolescent Super Saiyans.

"Sorry Trunks," Goten cried behind him.

"Yeah, sorry bro!" Trunks cried.

"Boy, those two sure are in a hurry," Mirai mused.

"Of course they are, Trunks," Bulma said.

"Oh, hi mum," Mirai said, turning to look at his mother. "What're they up to?"

"They're going out on their first date, of course."

"Wow, really?"

"Yeah, they're taking a group of girls to a party at the high school, apparently they've got a really good band and everything," Bulma said, closing her eyes with a sigh. Fortunately, this meant she missed the look of pure horror on Mirai's face.

"T-the high school?!"  He asked, pulling himself back together before his mother noticed.

"Yeah, is there something wrong?"

"N-no, I mean, why should there be?" Mirai asked. "Well, I'd better get going. See you later, mum!"

"Yeah, can't interrupt your training now, can I?" Bulma said with a smile.

"Training, yeah…" Mirai said as he turned and ran off back to the Gravity Chamber.

"Hey Trunks, what's wrong buddy?" Goku asked as he saw the look on Mirai's face.

"The kids are going to a party tonight at the high school!" Mirai panted.

"We know," Vegeta said. "You were here, remember?"

"I was?" Mirai asked, bewildered.

"Yes, you were," Raditz said. "Remember? We'd been jamming… jam… that sticky… fruity… sweet…" everybody's eyes glazed over as they instinctively thought about food.

"I'm hungry," muttered Goku.

"Kakkarot, you're _always_ hungry!" Vegeta snapped, his stomach rumbling loudly afterwards.

"So are you!" Goku replied.

"So? I'm allowed to be, I'm the prince of All Saiyans! I have a royal appetite!"

"You're a royal pain in the arse…" Goku muttered.

"What was that?!" Vegeta roared.

"Will you guys shut up!" Mirai shouted. The two quarreling Saiyans looked at him. "What are we going to do about the kids?"

Vegeta waved a hand dismissively. "We have that problem all sorted out."

"We do?"

"Of course," Vegeta said, gesturing over to where Brolli was sat on the floor.

"Right…" Mirai said. Suddenly, he felt sorry for the three kids.

"Now, son, we must get some more practice in before this evening," Vegeta said, picking up his bass and whispering something to it. Then he plucked the strings, and a perfect chord resonated across the chamber.

Vegeta smiled happily. "Perfect."

** * ** * **

The Kids got changed quickly, and then Applor came over, and so the three retired into the lounge where they spent their time flicking through the television channels. Unbeknown to the three kids, Death Saiyan were busy packing up their equipment into hoi-poi capsules, and a very large and menacing old adversary was busy making a checklist.

"Saiyan-proof rope… check. Reinforced chairs… check. Unsuspecting-Brats-Sitting-Watching-Television… check. Rubber ducky… check." Brolli chuckled and set everything up, and then he looked to Vegeta, who gave him the all clear. The band-members all went over and grasped various parts of Goku's body, and then they all vanished with a flicker.

"Alright, it's show time," the Legendary chuckled before casually strolling out into the lounge.

"Uh… hi Mister Brolli," Goten said, looking up. "Where's everybody else?"

"They're busy," Brolli said, then grinned.

"Busy…?" Trunks said weakly, then turned and looked up at Brolli. "Uh… what's with the grin?"

"You'll find out soon enough," Brolli cackled evilly. "Oh yes, you'll find out!"

"Run!" Goten cried, leaping up from the sofa, but it was too late. Brolli lunged for them. And caught each of the young warriors one by one, tucking them under his massive arms and marching them into the Gravity Chamber.  There, in the middle of the floor, sat three heavy-set chairs, a coil of rope on the floor.

"You'll never get away with it, Brolli!" Trunks cried, squirming in the brute's vice-like grip.

"But… I already have," laughed Brolli.

** * ** * **

Bunny Briefs opened the door to the gravity chamber and looked in to see how her grandson and his little friends were doing.

"Oh my, that's so adorable!" she crooned, looking in at the three tied up in the chairs, the rubber ducks tied around their faces so that they sat atop their hair like crowns, albeit, yellow, plastic crowns.

"Mmmm! Mmmph-mmmm!" Trunks cried, rocking in his chair.

"Oh, how cute! Dear, come look at this, the boys are playing tie-up!" Bunny cried out, much to the horror of the kids.

"_Mmmmm!_" all three of them cried at once, their voices muffled by the gags.

"That's nice, dear," Professor Briefs called back from somewhere in the building.

"I'll just leave this tray of tea here, in case you get thirsty!" Bunny said cheerfully, placing the tray on the floor just inside the Gravity Chamber, and then beamed at them. "You have fun playing your little games now!" And with that she left.

** * ** * **

"Well?" Vegeta asked as Brolli swaggered backstage.

"Everything has gone according to plan," Brolli said, then burst out laughing.

"Excellent, now may I suggest that you give Nappa and Tomatta a hand getting everything sorted on stage," Vegeta said. Brolli nodded and zipped away, the amplifiers being set up across the stage, then the drum-kit, and finally the instruments. Vegeta turned, smirking as he thought of the three brats stuck in the gravity chamber, the gravity turned up to over six hundred, and gave a short chuckle. He stopped when a scrawny-looking man in an ill-fitting suit walked up to him.

"Can I help you?" Vegeta asked.

"Are you the band?" the man asked.

"Obviously," Vegeta scoffed. "Why else would we be back here?"

"Oh… well, I'm the principle here at this school, and I'd like to make it clear that…"

"Yes, yes," Vegeta snapped irritably. "We understand, now go away."

"But…"

"Listen, buster!" Vegeta said, grabbing the man's tie pulling him down to eye-level. "If you don't clear off, I'm afraid that you're going to find yourself regretting it!"

"Vegeta!" Goku snapped.

"What is it, Kakkarot!"

"You can't go around saying things like that!"

Vegeta hesitated. "Why not?"

"Well…" Goku paused. "It's rude!"

"But Kakkarot…" Vegeta whined.

"No 'buts' Vegeta. You let him go this instant or you're not allowed to play."

"Oh alright," Vegeta said, sulkily, releasing his grip on the tie and walking away to get ready.

"Uh… was Vegeta wearing makeup?" Gohan asked as Vegeta swept away, his black Saiyan Armour disappearing into the shadows.

"Now that you mention it, his face did seem to be a little paler than usual…" Raditz said.

Goku shrugged. "I Just assumed it was nerves, but makeup sure would explain a hell of a lot."

"Like what, dad?" Gohan asked.

Goku rummaged around in the bag of belongings they had brought backstage with them for last minute details, and produced two sticks, one white and one black. "Like these."

** * ** * **

Bunny opened the door and looked down at three nervous-looking faces.

"Well hello there!" she beamed. "What can I do for you?"

"Er… we're here to see Trunks, Goten and Applor?" one of the girls asked.

"Oh, I'm afraid they're busy at the moment…" Bunny said.

"Um… do you mind if we see them?" another girl asked.

"Sure, of course not!" Bunny said again, leading the three girls through Capsule Corps corridors until they reached the Gravity Room, and opened the door.

"Just go right in, I'm sure the boys will be glad to let you in on their little game!" Bunny said and disappeared.

"_Mmmmm_!" Trunks cried through his gag, rocking his chair.

"What the…" one of the girls said.

"_Mmm-mmm-MMMMM_!"

"Trunks? What the hell are you doing?!" one of the girls asked stepping forward.

"_MMMMM!_" Trunks, Applor and Goten all cried.

"What, we can't understand a word you're saying!"

"_Mm-hmm… "mmmmm"!_" Trunks muffled.

"Oh…" another girl said. "What?"

"Hang on, I'll just take these gags out…" one girl said, stepping hesitantly over and pulling the gag out of Trunks' mouth. As soon as the little Prince's mouth was free of foul-smelling cloth, he gulped down a lung-full of air and looked up at Rayna with pleading eyes.

"Oh, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!" he cried.

"What on Earth were you doing?" Rayna asked as she ungagged the other two.

"We were tied up buy that _bastard_ Brolli!" Applor hissed, struggling at his bonds.

"Brolli?"  Paris asked with a frown.

"Yeah… uh…. Don't ask," Goten said.  
"Okay. Now, how do we unfasten those ropes?" she asked.

"You don't, but you can give us a hand if you like," Trunks said.

"How?" Rayna asked.

"You see the dial on the wall there? Next to the door," Trunks said.

"Yeah…"

"Turn it so that the numbers over it go down to one, and then leave the room," Trunks instructed. The girls did as they were told, and turned the dial before leaving.

"You guys ready?" Trunks asked, bunching his muscles.

"Ready for what?" Goten asked.

"We're going to go Super and burst these ropes," Trunks said, gritting his teeth.

"Oh, I get it," Applor said, bracing himself.

"On the count of three…One… Two… Three!"

All three of them burst into Super Saiyan, the golden energy pouring around them as they pulled and pulled at the ropes that tied them to the chairs.

"Harder you guys…" Trunks gasped through gritted teeth.

"Uh… Trunks?" Goten asked.

"Don't talk… just burst the damn ropes!"

"But…"

"Just do i…" Trunks' voice was cut off by a loud crash as the chair beneath them collapsed by the strain. The three Super Saiyans hit the ground with a thud, and looked at each other sheepishly.

"Well _that _worked!" Applor scowled.

"Hey guys… my hand is free!" Goten said happily.

"So?"

"So, I can Instant Trance Fishing!" the son of Goku said proudly.

"Right, do it buddy!" Trunks said, leaning back so that he was pressed against Goten's back, and Applor did the same. There was a flicker, and the three of them appeared hovering in the air. The three landed on the floor and dropped out of Super, rushing over to the door and opening it. The three girls, who had had their ears pressed against the door, fell into the room in a crumpled heap, and the three boys looked down at them.

"Uh… hi!" Paris said, picking herself up and dusting herself down.

"You ready?" Trunks asked with a smirk.

"Sure, ready when you are," Kenya – Applor's date – said with a grin.

"Right, I'll just bug my mom until she gives me a lift," Trunks said with an evil grin and hurried off.

"So how did you guys manage to escape?" Paris asked, wrapping her arms around Goten's.

"We, uh… just used our heads!" he said with a grin.

"C'mon, Goten. Tell the truth!" Ranya chided, poking him in the chest.

"We did… honestly we did!"

"Okay, you guys want a lift?" Bulma asked cheerfully.

"Sure, that would be great, Missus Briefs!" Goten cried happily.

"Okay, well just hop into the air-van, and I'll drop you off at the high school, I just have something to finish off here," Bulma said.

"But mom, we're gonna be late!" Trunks scowled.

"Hold on, patience is a virtue," Bulma said and hurried back to one of the workshops.

Trunks fumed and kicked the wall. "This bites."

** * ** * **

"Oh yeah, you rock!" Mirai called out to the screaming audience of the high school. He punched the air triumphantly, his long lilac hair swinging as he did so, and he leered. "This next one is called 'Living On A Prayer.'"

The guitars broke open and thrashing chords pounded the air, the drums sending the sound of symbol crashes and the rugged, raw beat of the drum throbbing over the sea of students waving on the floor. Mirai's voice echoed from the speakers, making the girls weak with lust and the boys green with jealously. And so the gig went on through the night, and so it was still going when Goten, Trunks, Applor, Paris, Kenya and Ranya appeared with a flicker at the back of the room.

"Wow, that was cool!" Paris cried as she looked around. One minute they had been hanging around, waiting for a lift to the high school, the next thing they knew, Goten had told them all to place their hands on his back, whilst he held a hand to his forehead, and then they were here, at the gig. The sound hit them, and they frowned.

"What the…" Trunks breathed.

"Argh, it's making my neck move!" Goten cried as he started head-banging.

"My… my body!" Applor cried as he started dancing and hopping up and down with the crowd.

"This is great!" Paris cried, latching onto Goten.

"Heh, it sure is," Goten said with a grin, finally getting his head to stop flailing about. The six danced the night away until the band announced their departure and left the stage hurriedly.

Once backstage, Vegeta slumped against the wall a sighed as he let all the strength in his legs fade, his back sliding down the wall until he was sitting, slumped on the ground, grinning. Sweat was running down his face, making the black makeup around his eyes mix with the white that coated his face, making it merge into a mushy grey colour that dripped down his cheeks.

"That was… that was fucking amazing!" He crowed.

"Yeah, I had so much fun!" Goku replied.

"This is going to look is good!" Raditz chuckled.

"Now what are we going to do?" Gohan asked.

"I'll tell you what we're going to do, boys," Vegeta said, getting a rag and wiping the black and white makeup from his face. "We are going to go out and celebrate!"

** * ** * **

**AN** Well, that's chapter 6 finally out of the way, so review please. The next chapter will be weird… well, weird_er_ anyway. Finally, you'll find out what happens when a bunch Saiyans hit the alcohol!

Oh yes, and more song suggestions please.

- Paul


	7. Milk And Alcohol

Disclaimer: DBZ? I own it? Yeah right!

** * ** * **

Chapter 7 – Milk and Alcohol

The group walked down the street, high on pride and stoned on adrenalin. They grinned, whooped with joy, punched the air and laughed: even Vegeta was joining in with the high spirits.

"That, my friends, is what I call a _fucking_ success!" cried Vegeta, stretching his arms to the sky.

"Man, what a crowed! I loved it!" Goku said, air-guitaring as he walked.

"Definitely, I can't wait until our next gig," said Raditz.

"When is your next gig, anyway?" Turlus asked, turning around just in time to intercept a high-five from Gohan.

"_Our_ next gig is whenever we bully 18 into getting us one," Vegeta said with a grin as mirthful as a skull.

"Aw man, 18's the greatest!" Goku said.

"No, Kakkarot, she's the most evil, most powerful, egotistical wench I've ever come acro…" Vegeta trailed off and scowled. "Actually, now you mention it…" 

"See, told you!" Goku said grinning happily. "Oooh look, a big glass of fizzy orange soda!" Goku said, pointing to a neon light up ahead.

"Baka, that's not soda," Vegeta said, smiling suddenly. "That's _beer_!"

"Of course it's not beer!" Goku said. "Look, it's all fizzy!"

"That's because _beer_ is fizzy!" Vegeta replied.

"Maybe… but if it' beer, why is it _orange_!"

"Because beer-coloured glass is hard to come by, you imbecile. Now lets go get us some of that amber nectar!" said Vegeta, licking his lips.

"What would we want beer for?" Goku asked with a frown.

"To get drunk with, of course!" Raditz said, clapping his smaller sibling on the back.

"But…" Goku started to protest, raising a philosophical finger to aid his reasoning. But before he could continue, a voice shouted:

"Get him!"

An assortment of eight Saiyans and Demi-Saiyan pounced on Goku, picking him up with powerful hands and before he knew what was happening, they threw him through an open door way. Goku looked up and around at everybody, who were looking at him with weird expressions on their faces. All except the barman, who was polishing a glass, with the all-knowing look of somebody who has seen and heard _everything_ in the course of running the bar. He probably had. But tonight was going to be one to remember.

"Hello there, stranger," the barman said, nodding towards Goku before examining the glass with a critical eye.

"Uh… hi," Goku said sheepishly, giving a little wave. Just then. He was trampled by a group of very determined Saiyans. Vegeta strolled over to the bar, ignoring the looks everybody was giving him, and looked up at the barman, who was polishing the glass again.

"Where's the serving wench?" the small prince demanded.

"I guess I'm your serving wench, sir," the barman said, giving the glass another look, missing the disgusted look on Vegeta's face.

"I wouldn't let you wench me if you paid me for it!" Vegeta said.

"What I meant was, I'll be serving you," the barman said, placing down the glass, obviously happy with its sparkliness.

"Oh, I see," said Vegeta, a little disgruntled. "I was hoping for a wench of some description… but oh well."

"I think I have a monkey wrench somewhere abouts…" The barman said with a grin, then ducking under the bar, various rattlings and scraping giving the general idea that he was searching for something.

"A monkey… wench…" Vegeta repeated, mishearing the Barman, and again the barman missed Vegeta's expression, in particular, he missed the eyebrow twitching uncontrollably over Vegeta's right eye.

"Isn't wenching monkey's, like, Illegal or something on this planet?" Nappa asked Turlus. Turlus hushed Nappa quickly; he didn't want to miss _this_ show for anything!

"Where do you keep these… _monkey_ wenches?" Vegeta asked.

"In a little toolbox," the barman's voices said from a below.

"A… a _little toolbox_…" Vegeta said, his eyebrow twitching a little more.  
"Uh, Vegeta…" Gohan started.

"Shhh!" Turlus hissed. "This could be fun!"

"Let me get this straight," Vegeta said, his whole body quivering. "You let your monkey wenches live in a little box under the bar?!"

"Dad…"

"Yeah, where else would I keep them?" The barman asked.

"With the other wenches, I would have assumed," responded Vegeta. 

"They _are_ with the other wenches," came the Barman's voice.

"_Dad_!"

"_What son!" Vegeta hissed._

"A monkey wrench is a kind of tool!" Mirai hissed.

"Now they're idiots?!" Vegeta said.

"Not _that kind of tool!" Gohan hissed. "The kind of tool used to… well, make things!"_

Vegeta stopped quivering. "Oh…"

** * ** * **

"Where are the boys?" Chi-Chi asked, pacing back and forwards on the living rug at Capsule Corp.

"Relax, Chi-Chi. I'm sure Goten will be fine," said Bulma, trying to reassure her friend.

"I know, it's not Goten I'm worried about," replied Chi-chi, "it's the other two. Goku's been acting _really weird lately, so has that brother of his."_

"Yeah, now that you mention it… Trunks - the _older Trunks I mean – and his father have both been acting weird," mused Bulma._

"When has Vegeta _ever been normal?" asked Chi-chi. Bulma glared at her momentarily, and then shrugged._

"I guess, but those big lugs have been spending almost all their time in the Gravity Chamber," Bulma said wearily.

"It's not natural… Goku and Brolli spending so much time together!" Chi-Chi cried. "I swear those Saiyans are having negative effects on my sweet, innocent Gohan."

"Chi-chi, Gohan hasn't been sweet and innocent since the day you decided to get him a personal tutor," said Bulma.

"Then what about Goten? That young rascal of a Saiyan, Applor, is corrupting him!"

"That was Yamcha." 

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Really, really?"

"Yes, really!"

Chi-chi's face contorted with anger, an expression which sent Bulma diving for cover. The self-proclaimed genius had just managed to dive behind the sofa when Chi-Chi screamed.

"I _never liked the bastard, never liked him!"_

** * ** * **

"Listen, Kakkarot!" Vegeta snarled. "I'm not buying you a fucking shandy!"

"Aww, go on, please?" pleaded Goku.

"We are out to celebrate, and that means hard liquor, damnit!" Vegeta snarled, slurring slightly.

"Oh, alright. I'll have a triple whiskey, neat, and with an ice cube. Oh alright, no ice." Goku added after receiving various Death-glares from the Saiyans, including his own son.

"Nappa, it's your round!" Vegeta bellowed, banging his glass on the bar, only stopping when the glass cracked. "Hmph, you should get some better crockery, this tankard is a big dodgy."

"The glasses were all fine before you started banging them off things," the barman said, taking the glass from Vegeta, and replacing it with a fresh one, filled with fizzing beer, the head sopping over the brim softly.

"Mmm, fizzy beer," Vegeta said as his fingers wrapped around the glass.

"You know, you sound just like Master Roshi when you say that," Goku beamed.

"I do not!" Vegeta cried, sounding offended.

"You do, it's so funny!" Goku cooed, sipping at his whiskey.

"It is not!" Vegeta wailed.

"He's right, Vegeta! You sound like Old Man Roshi!" Raditz laughed.

"That's does it!" Vegeta said draining his beer. "No more shall I be insulted by you pathetic bakas! I still have my pride!" Vegeta cried, then wobbled on his seat.

"Vegeta, are you okay?" Turlus asked, placing a hand on Vegeta's shoulder.

"Get off me you imbeci-ARGH!" Vegeta cried, the action of shrugging the Saiyan's hand form his shoulder causing him to loose balance and topple backwards. There was a crash, and Vegeta legs stuck upright in the air, propped against the bar as his spikes of hair flattened around the top of his head, which was planted firmly on the floor.

"What was that you were saying about pride?" sniggered Goku.

"Shut up, Kakkarot!" Snapped Vegeta. "And I'll get up myself, the last thing I want is for one of you lower-born imbeciles to be helping the Saiyan prince to his feet!"

** * ** * **

"Oh, it's you," Chi-Chi said flatly as she opened the front door. 18 blinked, but smiled anyway.

"Don't worry, sweetie, I'm not here to see you," she said pleasantly. "I'm here for Goku and Raditz. You _do remember who they are, don't you? Your husband and brother-in-law?"_

"Shut it, blondie!" Chi-Chi snapped. "As a matter of fact, they're not here right now, so push off!"

"What do you mean they're not here?" asked 18, her eyes widening in shock.

"Are you stupid? I thought Doctor Gero programmed you to understand English!" said Chi-Chi with a smirk.

"He also programmed me to destroy Goku and his friends, but I decided not to," 18 said, narrowing her eyes. "But with you, I'll make an exception."

"Bring it on sister!" Chi-Chi screamed, flourishing the frying pan.

_WHAM!_

18 didn't even seem to move, one minute she was smiling with her eyes narrowed to slits, the next thing she was standing over the floored Chi-Chi holding the frying pan.

"Now is not the time," the cyborg said, reaching down and grabbing Chi-Chi. "We have to find the men."

"Hey… where are you taking me?" Chi-Chi cried as 18 dragged her to her feet and into the dark night.

"Next door, we're getting Videl."

"What do we need Videl for?"

"Videl!" 18 cried, slapping on the door just hard enough for it to bang loudly. "Videl, come on! We're going to get tat husband of…"

"Do you mind, Pan's just gone to sleep!" Videl hissed as she threw open the door. The look on her face made even 18 back off.

"Uh… sure," the android said, looking at Videl. She was wearing a pink frilly night-gown. "Get dressed, we're going to get Bulma."

"What for?" Videl and Chi-Chi asked at once.

"Just do it," 18 sighed, the snapped: "_What?!"_

Chi-Chi pulled her finger from 18's shoulder and pointed down, where her feet were dangling over the path. "Uh... could you put me down now?"

The three women raced down through streets of West City until they skidded to a halt on the large lawn of the Capsule Corp building. The lights were still blazing in several of the windows, mostly the research and development labs, a sign that either Bulma or her father were still awake.

"C'mon, I have a feeling that Trunks, Vegeta and that bald idiot Nappa are still out," 18 said, storming up the path with a determined pace. Videl and Ch-Chi, after exchanging glances, ran after her  and stood behind the android as she repeatedly pressed the doorbell.

"Oh… it's you," Bulma said flatly as she opened the front door. Her clothes were hanging loose, and her hair was a mess.

"Uh… are you alright, Bulma?" Videl asked, looking a little worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why wouldn't I be? My son, my husband, and that stupid bald servant of his are missing, my mother won't stop babbling on about 'those nice friends of Mister Vegeta'… and my hair is a mess!"

"Calm down, the girl was only asking," 18 said.

"That 'girl' is older than you are, 18," sneered Bulma, never a one to let a snide comment drop, especially when she was in _this sort of mood._

"Hmph, let's just drop it and go after those infernal men," 18 said, grabbing Bulma and dragging her out into the night. "Come on, we're going to get Cukumbri and Fru."

"What for?" Chi-Chi, Videl and Bulma chorused.

"Just… because, okay?!" 18 cried, stomping her foot down, cracking the concrete and sending up a plume of dust. "Now look what you made me do!"

And so the four of them trekked across the city, until the came eventually to an apartment building on the south side. 18 pressed the intercom button for Cukumbri and Fru's apartment.

"Uh… it's this button, right?" came a voice from the speaker.

"Yes," said a voice in the background.

"Okay… hello?" came the first voice.

"Fru, is that you?" 18 asked.

"No, this is Cukumbri… 18?" the female Saiyan asked.

"Get down here, right now, and bring Fru with you," commanded 18.

"What for?" both Saiyans asked.

"_Will people stop asking me that!" 18 snarled. "Just do it!"_

"All right, all right," sighed Cukumbri. "We're on our way." The intercom crackled for a second as the Saiyan released the intercom-button and there was a short pause before the two women landed on the ground beside the four others already waiting.

"So where do we go now?" Fru asked, her tail waving out behind her. Cukumbri beamed, her tail coiled around her waist belt-fashion.

"We're going to find the boys," 18 said.

"Will Raditz be there?" Cukumbri asked, her eyes lighting up slightly at the thought of seeing the hunky Saiyan.

"Probably… where one goes, the others follow. At least, lately anyway," added Bulma.

"Want a hand?" came a male voice from above. The women looked up and saw Applor descending slowly.

"Sure, another pair of hands couldn't hurt," 18 said.

"Fine, it's settled then. We should start near the school, they can't have gone far, can they?" Applor asked.

"You know about what happened? About the gig at school?" 18 asked, masking her shock.

Applor's eyes glinted in the starlight and he chuckled a little. "Oh yes, I know alright. So does Goten and Trunks."

** * ** * ** 

"So… right, the thing is…" Raditz slurred, leaning on Goku for support, who was leaning against Raditz the same reason. "Girls _love Jet-black Saiyan hair…"_

"Well, the crowds seamed to _love me," Mirai slurred in reply. "And my hair's lilac."_

"They were all cheering for me," Goku said, drinking what was left of his beer. The barman swiftly exchanged the empty glass for a full one, and Goku reached into his pocket and put a couple of coins on the bar. The barman kept the change, it had become custom now. And anyway, the _very big one, who's hair had a disconcerting way of flickered between jet-black and turquoise, had insisted, in a very… definitive and almost violent, manor. Especially after he had started glowing golden._

"Yeah… but right…" Mirai began, and then paused as something tugged at his trouser leg. "Hang on, father wants another drink." He picked up a glass half-filled with beer, and poured it into a funnel that was propped up on the bar by several empty bottles of various, presumably containing spirits of some kind at one point. Attached to the funnels' spout was a length of hose that ran down over the edge of the bar and onto the ground, where at the other end, Vegeta's mouth waited, wrapped around the green plastic tubing.

Vegeta hadn't been able to pick himself up, and he was still lying head-first on the floor, with legs propped up against the bar so that he was almost vertical. Brolli had briefly taken to using the sole of Vegeta's left boot to rest his beer glass, but Goku had knocked it, and sent beer spilling down Vegeta's trouser leg, resulting on the upturned-prince almost choking on his own beer as he felt that fizzy liquid running against the inside of his thigh.

"So yeah…" Mirai began. "Uh… what were we talking about again?"

"Can't remember," Rumbled Brolli.

"Me neither…" Turlus said.

"Uhhhhhhhh," Nappa moaned, his head buried on the bar under his large arms.

"W'as wrong wi 'im?" Gohan slurred, wavering slightly on his barstool.

"Dunno…" Goku said, wavering slightly in reply, which set off Raditz's own wavering.

"Maybe he's… like… y'know," Tomatta volunteered from the general direction of downwards. Goku and Raditz looked down at their cousin who was lying on the floor, half asleep.

"No?" Raditz asked.

"What's the word… begins with a Dee…" Tomatta said, thoughtfully tapping his fingers on the floor.

"Dee…" Goku mused thoughtfully.

"D'd?" Gohan slurred.

"What? Why would you say that? If he was _that, he wouldn't be moaning, would he?" Tomatta said, annoyed at his own cousin's stupidity._

"M'by  'e's eh'p'ls'n b'dly g'ss's…" slurred Gohan again, before closing his eyes and collapsing, his head banging off the bar hard enough to send a large crack running along it's length. The barman jumped back hurriedly as Gohan began to snore gently.

"Drunk!" Tomatta shouted triumphantly, sitting bolt upright.

Turlus grinned. "Not yet, but I'm getting there."

** * ** * **

"Are you sure they're around here?" Chi-Chi asked.

"Positive, my senses don't lie," Applor said, leading them along a dark street. He turned a corner and stopped suddenly in his tracks, his skin turning pale.

"What is it?" Fru asked, sensing her own son's hesitation.

"Uh…" Applor pointed a head of him, his eyes twitching in fear.

The Saiyans were sitting and standing amongst the rubble of what was apparently a pub. The only piece of evidence that remanded pointing to such a fact was the neon sign that Tomatta was lighting up, using the energy form his own body.

Gohan was arguing nose to nose with Raditz, whilst Brolli and Vegeta were hugging each other, bawling their eyes out whilst Goku hovered in the air, his leg a blur as he kicked Brolli in the back of the head, who didn't seem to be noticing. Mirai was busy slapping Nappa about the face, whilst Turlus was trying his best to prize the two about.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I was such a monster… I killed all those people, it was so nasty and thoughtless of me!" Brolli wailed, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I know how you feel," Vegeta wailed back. "I did it all too… all those Namek, all those humans, those freaky insect things me and Nappa tricked… heh heh heh… no, why am I laughing! I'm so mean!"

"Stop crying and fight me, you cowards!" Goku shouted, pausing. "I am the mightiest warrior in the Universe, bow down and fight me, you weaklings!"

Upon hearing this, Mirai dropped Nappa to the ground, charged over to Goku, spun him around and punched him to the deck.

"I want a rematch, you cheated you bastard!"

"You were Super Saiyan, and I _still beat you!" Goku sneered back, suddenly appearing in front of Mirai. The two started brawling there and then._

"There, there; it's all right Nappa, you're going to be just fine," Turlus said, picking up the large Saiyan and supporting him.

"I just said 'gee, Trunks, maybe you shouldn't fight Goku in such a crowded area…'" Nappa said. "It's just so illogical for one to come to fisticuffs in such an establishment."

"I know, I know," Turlus said, pulling a first aid kit out the wreckage and bandaging Nappa's bald head. "You just sit here, I'm going to help the poor barman. He caught the brunt of it when Trunks went Super Saiyan."

"And Goku's energy blast…" mumbled Nappa as Turlus ambled away camply.

Meanwhile, Gohan had grabbed Raditz by the collar and had dragged him down to eyelevel.

"Being a Saiyan sucks! It's the most un-satisfying thing ever, I'm _ashamed to be a Saiyan!" Raditz shouted._

"Screw you, you weakling bitch! Being Saiyan is the best thing ever, I'm _proud of my heritage, and you should be too! We're the most powerful beings in the Universe!" Gohan shouted back._

"Well, if we're so great, how come we keep getting killed?" Raditz shouted back.

"Because that's what Saiyan is all about!" Gohan shouted. "We live to fight, and dying is often part of a fight!"

"Dying is for losers," Raditz muttered.

"What did you say?!" Screamed Gohan.

"You heard me!" Raditz yelled.

"Now, now, boys," Turlus said, trying to intervene between the two. "Let's all just calm down and..."

"Fuck off!" Gohan and Raditz yelled at once.

"What the _hell is going on here?" Videl demanded. Everybody paused what they were doing, Goku's knee on it's way to connecting with Mirai's groin._

"Uh…" Raditz said, looking a little embarrassed.

"Keep out of this woman," Gohan snarled. "This is none of your business."

"That's it, son! Put her in her place!" Goku shouted, cheering his son on.

"Goku!" Chi-Chi cried, the buildings shaking around her. "You are coming home right this minute!"

"Get knotted!" Goku shouted back, slipping down his trousers and mooning his wife and the others around her.

"Why you…" Chi-Chi said, puling out the frying pan from behind her back. Videl did the same, and Bulma pulled out a tranquillizer gun.

"Bulma!" Vegeta said, looking up through tear-streaked eyes. "My dear, sweet Bulma!"

"V-vegeta?" Bulma said, stunned, lowering the rifle slightly.

"Yes, it is I, your loving Prince," said Vegeta, releasing Brolli and dropping to the floor. Bulma watched as Vegeta crawled over to her on his knees and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. "I've wanted to embrace you all night. My love!"

"Uh… Vegeta? Are you feeling alright?" Bulma asked, starting to get embarrassed.

"I'm fine, I've never felt better!" Vegeta said, looking up, a genuinely happy smile plastered over is face.

Bulma looked down at Vegeta then blinked as she sniffed the air.

"You smell like Roshi," she said accusingly.

"Ah, yes, well I have been drinking a small amount…" Vegeta confessed. "But it just a tiny drop compared for the pool of love that wells deep within my heart!"

"You're drunk," Bulma mumbled.

"Yes, drunk with my love for you!" Vegeta cooed, pushing his head against Bulma again, making her blush.

" 'Geta, not in public!" his wife hissed.

"Then quick, let us go to our nest!" Vegeta said, standing up and scooping Bulma into his arms, leaping into the air and flying around the corner. There was a squeal from Bulma, which soon turned into a gasp, and then silence.

"Hmm… most be mating season…" 18 quipped with a snigger.

"Mating… season?!" Videl and Chi-Chi cried with horror.

"Well, just look at the Prince over there go? He was in a _big hurry to get Bulma alone! I bet he would have done her here and then in the street f Bulma hadn't of objected."_

"Well woman, are we going home yet?" Gohan asked, striding over to Videl and looking down at her.

"Don't you _dare use that tone of voice with me," Videl snarled._

"Ooooh, 'Gita, you've never done _that before!" Bulma purred from the darkness somewhere behind them._

"Pfft! Who do you think you are?" Gohan sneered, ignoring the two off in the alley. "You can't disrespect me, you're not even a Saiyan warrior."

"Neither are you," Videl pointed out.

"I'm half Saiyan, whereas _you are just a weakling human," Gohan sneered, then paused. "Saiyan… I'm the fastest Saiyan alive…" Gohan sneer soon became a grin, and before anybody, Videl in particular, could say anything, Gohan had grabbed her and a silver vapour-trail was leading around another dark corner._

All that was heard was a cry from Videl. "Gohan, for god's sake, put your trousers back on!"

A taxi pulled up behind the women, and a head poked out.

"Taxi-cab for a Missus Son?!" the driver called.

"Over here!" Chi-Chi shouted, then strode over to Goku. "Get into that car right now, buster, or I'll give you such a braining!"

"Ha, you're petty threats don't bother me! I'm the most powerful warrior in the universe!" Goku shouted back.

"Goku Son, if you don't get in that taxi _right now, you're sleeping on the couch…"_

"Ha!"

"_And…" Chi-Chi added, "you're making your own meals… for a __month!" There were assorted gasps from amongst the Saiyans, and Goku whimpered._

"All right, all right, I'm going I'm going," Goku muttered, lowering to the ground and opening the door. Chi-Chi hopped in, and dragged her husband in after her.

Just then, Vegeta and Bulma trotted around the corner, Bulma's hair even more of a mess and Vegeta doing up his black shirt and fly. As they passed the taxi, the window shot down and Goku's head sprung out.

"Vegeta! C'mon, fight me! Right here, right now!" Vegeta smiled towards Goku.

"Not right now, my fine adversary. Fighting is the last thing on my mind. Maybe later, buddy."

"What?! You coward! You Baka no Ouji! _Fight me… _

"Goku, get back in this taxi _right now!" Came Chi-Chi's voice._

"Hey, get off me, what are you…"

_CLANG!_

 ** * ** * **

The troupe arrived back at Capsule Corp, Bulma and Videl both with happy looks on their faces, and messed up hair, whilst Gohan and Vegeta had proudly taken off their tops to reveal the claw-marks down their backs.

18 sneered at the two women. "Weak," she muttered and opened the door to the main building, everybody filling in behind her.

"Everybody, we'd like to say something!" Goku said. Everyone turned around to look at Goku, his eyes narrowed in a _very Vegeta fashion. Mirai stepped in beside him and smirked, and then Vegeta slipped his arm from around Bulma's waist and stood in front of the two, before clearing his throat, then sang."_

"I'm rather upper class high society, God's gift to ballroom notoriety.

 I always fill my ballroom, The event is never small.  
 The social pages say, I've got the biggest balls of all." The prince took a breath.

 "I've got big balls, I've got big balls.  
 And they're such big balls, _Dirty big balls."_

"And he's got big balls," he pointed to Applor.

"And she's got big balls," he pointed to 18.

"But we've got the biggest, balls of them all!" all the Saiyans behind him shouted at the tops of their lungs.

"And my balls are always bouncing, My ballroom always full," they all started singing. "And everybody comes, And _comes again!_

 If your name is on the guest-list, No-one can take you higher.

 Everybody says I've got, Great balls of _fire!"_

Then they sang the chorus again, crying out just as loud as the first time, some of the more paraplegic of the group bursting into laughter.

"Some balls are held for charity, And some for fancy dress.  
 But when they're held for _pleasure, They're the balls that __I like best." They sang._

"My balls are always bouncing, To the left and to the right.

 It's my belief that my big balls, should be held every night!"

Each one of them took a deep breath before shouting out the inevitable, and the woman covered their ears quickly, whilst Applor laughed and joined in.

"I've got big balls, I've got big balls!

 And they're such big balls,_ DIRTY_ big balls!

 And he's got big balls, and _she's_ got big ball!  
 _BUT WE'VE GOT THE BIGGEST, BALLS OF THEM ALL!_"

Then, as one man, the members of Death Saiyan collapsed in the hallway of Capsule Corporation.

** * ** * **

**AN**: Sorry it's taken a while to post this chapter, but I've been meddling about in the arts of Anime Music Videos. Unfortunately, I have no way as yet to show my first creation to you: a video dedicated to the Saiyans, set to the music of 'Princes Of The Universe' (the opening theme music from 'Highlander') by Queen.

Anyway, here was Chapter 7, hope you enjoyed it. And for those of you who don't know, that ending song is 'Big Balls' by AC/DC, download it. It's hilarious; Bon 'Bonna' Scott, may you rest in peace.

PS: A 'Shandy' is a Beer/Lager and Lemonade cocktail, usually 50/50, but can vary to how strong you want it to be. It's a good thirst quencher, but piss poor at making you drunk.


	8. The Morning After The Night Before

Disclaimer: If you think I own DBZ… you're absolutely wrong. I own DBTW… it just happens to have characters with exactly the same names and attitudes, and physical descriptions, and powers, and backgrounds… and anyway, who's gonna tell Akira Torriyama? Not I, and if you, my loyal readers and friends, want me to finish the sagas off (yes, there's gonna be MORE!… eventually) then you ain't gonna tell him either, right? Good!

Ja ne!

** * ** * **

Chapter Eight: The Morning After The Night Before.

Goku groaned, then because he thought his point hadn't been clarified enough, he groaned again. Then something cuddled into him with a purr. Goku hugged back instinctively, and then heard something murmur into his ear: "Woman, you sure are bigger than last night…"

"Argh!" Goku screamed, leaping to his feet, Vegeta falling on his face for the second time in twelve hours.

"Kakkarot, what in blazes are you doing in my bed?!" Vegeta growled, then blinked. "And what is my bed doing in the hall?" He gave Goku an accusing look. "Did _you_ do this?"

"I'm not your bed," somebody growled, and a second later, Vegeta was rolling through the air as Brolli had flung him aside. The Legendary Super Saiyan sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, then stretched and yawned. This took longer than most people would expect, as Brolli is a very large Saiyan, and therefore there is that much more of him to stretch.

Vegeta hit the floor with a disgruntled curse, and hopped to his feet.

"How _dare_ you fling the Prince of all Saiyans like that!" Vegeta said, stiffening up and his hair rising more than usual.

"How dare you use the Legendary Super Saiyan as a mattress," Brolli replied absentmindedly, scratching his back in the process.

"Well how dare _you_ use my face as a pillow!" came a muffled voice. Turlus sat up, the spiked crests of his hair twisted and bent out of position.

"Uh… where am I?" Raditz groaned.

"Is this my face?" came a voice.

"Yes, Nappa," Tomatta answered wearily, somewhere towards the front door.

"Well… are these my…"

"_No_ Nappa!" the cousin of Goku and Raditz said, jumping to his feet to avoid the clutches of the disorientated general.

"Okay, just checking," the bald Saiyan said sitting up. Much to everybody's surprise, he had a day's growth of hair on his head, a small strip of fuzz that ran down it's middle. Somebody somewhere sniggered.

"What the _hell_ happened last night?" groaned Gohan as he dislodged the sleeping figure of Mirai Trunks and pushed himself off the ground. The room started spinning violently, and he felt his stomach lurch suddenly, then he felt his body bounce gently off the nice, firm, reassuring stationary floor.

"The last thing I remember was throwing Goku in… to… a… pub…" Raditz's voice trailed off suddenly aware of the consequences.

"Oh my god…" Vegeta said. "I… I remember… _hugging_ Brolli!"

"Argh!" Brolli yelped. "I… I hugged back!"

"What sort of monsters were we?!" Vegeta cried, backing away from the group in horror.

"Can't remember…" murmured Gohan from his spot on the floor. Off to one side, Mirai snored peacefully.

 "I… I remember…" Goku started, then blinked. "I turned into Vegeta."

"You _what_?" Vegeta cried. "How dare a third class baka impersonate a member of the royal bloodline!"

"I wasn't impersonating you, I was just acting like you!" Goku wailed.

"Hmph, same difference," Vegeta said, folding his arms over his chest. His eyes widened momentarily, and a smirk grew across his lips.

"Heh, heh, heh. Turlus, don't you find it strange how everybody here is paired up with somebody, except you?" Vegeta asked.

"And me," Nappa rumbled.

"Yeah, and me," Tomatta voiced.

"You two don't count," Vegeta said.

"Why not?" asked Tomatta, sounding hurt.

"Because you're both bakas."

"…right, okay. Remind me to give the Prince of all Arseholes a good shoeing later…" Tomatta rumbled, standing up and making his way to the kitchen.

"Will do," Brolli said, trailing after his roomy.

"Uh… so what's going on? And what does me being single have to do with anything?" Turlus asked, starting to look worried.

"Well, you were acting rather… effeminate last night."

"I was not!" Turlus denied.

"Was so!"

"Was not!

"Was so!"

"Was not!"

"Enough of this," Gohan groan, rubbing his pounding temples. "I feel like I've just been hit on the head."

"I didn't do it," cried a voice from the kitchen.

"We all _know_ you didn't do it, Brolli!" Vegeta cried back loudly, causing Gohan to wince.

"Yeah, you were too bust hugging Vegeta," sniggered Goku.

"Kakkarot!" Vegeta yelled.

"Eep…"

"_What is all this racket_!" Bulma shouted. All the Saiyans stopped what they were doing and tried to look not-so-guilty. Except Mirai, who was still fast asleep on the floor.

"Uh… private discussion?" Vegeta hazarded.

"Not good enough, buster!" Bulma said, narrowing her eyes and giving Vegeta a glare.

"Hmph, you can't talk to the Prince of all Saiyans like that," Vegeta said, closing his eyes and tossing his nose into the air.

"Oh I can't, can I not?" Bulma said in a tone of voice that made Vegeta open one eye. "Well, in that case, you're sleeping on the couch for a _month_!"

"But…"

"No buts, mister!"

"But…"

"Wanna make it _two_ months?"

Somebody somewhere sniggered.

"I know that was you, Nappa!" Vegeta snapped.

** * ** * **

Goten slumped into his seat in class with a low moan. That morning had been tougher than most: Chi-Chi was irate about Goku staying out all night, and if that hadn't been enough, she'd vented her fury by interrogating Goten and Paris.

"Hey, bro," Trunks said as his best friend slumped in the chair, his eyes dark and puffy. "Dude, you okay? It looks like you haven't slept in a week!"

"My mom…" Goten said. That's all that had to _be_ said. Trunks knew what Chi-Chi could be like, and he often praised whichever deities that happened to be listening that he didn't have an over-bearing, over-protective and over-zealous mother like Chi-Chi. He just had, to use one of Nappa's expressions: "The super-bitch from hell."

"Hey guys, what's up?" Applor asked, dropping into a seat behind them.

"Tired," Goten mumbled.

"Oh yeah, hey, you missed out on last night!" Trunks said, suddenly remembering.

"Missed what?" Goten asked, perking up slightly.

"Well, after you teleported…"

"Instant Trance Fishing," Goten corrected.

"Yeah…" Trunks looked puzzled; he was _sure_ that wasn't right, "whatever, after you _went home_, our dads came back to my place absolutely mapped."

"They were _drunk_?" Goten asked, his eyes suddenly snapping open.

"Yup," Trunks said.

"Yeah, I had to help get them home from that building."

"What building?" Goten asked.

"Well, I assume it had been a pub, but all that was left was a large crater in the ground and some piles of bricks." Applor mused for a second. "Kinda looked like the Lookout after Brolli was finished with it…"

"That bad?" Goten asked.

"Yeah… well, except without the strobe-lighting effects coming from the busted Time Chamber, and Brolli, and Gohan…"

"Ah," Trunks said with a grin. "Man, you're dad was off his face."

"_My_ dad?!" Goten said, shocked.

"Hell yes," Applor replied. "He attacked Brolli."

"My dad?"

"Yeah." Trunks replied

"And then he attacked Vegeta."

"… my dad?!"

"_Yes_ Goten!" both his friend chorused.

"Are you sure it was my dad? Big guy, orange pyjamas, black spiky hair, looks like me…"

"_Yes_ Goten!" they chorused again.

"I just thought maybe you'd gotten him and Turlus mixed up again…"

"_No_ Goten!"

"Gotcha."

There was a pause that lasted several seconds until:

"My _dad?_"

Applor hit him in the back of head so hard that Goten's forehead bounced off the desk.

"Ow, hey! What did you do that for?" Goten asked, rubbing his face and the back of his head simultaneously.

"To wake you up, dummy."

"I'm awake, I'm awake!" Goten wailed.

"Good, mister Son. Then perhaps you could explain to us this morning's topic?" a deep voice boomed from the front of the class.

Goten took a deep breath. "Shit…"

** * ** * **

"How many time's have I told you: _keep out the kitchen_!" Bulma screamed, Brolli's long dark hair flying out behind him as it was caught in the air currents. Tomatta carefully put down the French loaf, as though he had just been told it was a very big bomb.

"Uh… do I have to answer that?" Brolli asked, backing away.

"_No_!" Bulma creamed, edging forwards, matching Brolli's retreat step by step.

"I'm scared!" Brolli wailed.

"Just hang in there, buddy," Tomatta said, reassuringly. "If you just stay still, she'll get bored of you and go away."

"Hah, not on your life buster!" Bulma said, seizing the one thing Saiyans feared the most: the dreaded Frying Pan… well, except Goku and his phobia of needles, of course. But he doesn't count, because he's a third-class baka.

"Argh!" Brolli cried.

"Just hang in there," Tomatta urged.

"Keep out of this, you!" Bulma screeched, wheeling around on Tomatta, who flinched.

** * ** * **

"I can't believe they sang that at me," 18 said through gritted teeth.

"Well, it was kinda funny…" Krillin chuckled.

"You think I have balls?" 18 asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Well, you did try and take on Brolli…"

"I don't mean like that!" 18 snapped.

"Well… uh… no, I don't think you have balls," said Krillin.

"You sure?" 18 snarled.

"Positive. Maybe I… uh… should take you to the bedroom and check it out, ay?" Krillin said with a wink.

"My, my. That's the best suggestion you've had all day," purred 18.

"And it's only morning yet," Krillin said smoothly, pushing his wife upstairs.

** * ** * **

"And therefore, the triangulation of the third theta…" Mister Brown, the maths teacher, droned on. Goten suppressed a yawn and looked down at his text book. The numbers where starting to dance across his page, and soon they were doing a little mathematical polka. After rubbing his eyes, Goten looked back down at the book and frowned.

"Hi!" said the multiplication sign.

"Wha…"

"Shhh!" the sign hissed. "Do you want to get us into trouble?!"

"No…"

"Good, just try and look interested in what old boring has to say!"

"Okay…" and with that, the sign joined in the polka with the rest of the work on that page. Goten blinked a couple of times, and shut the text book.

"Uh… sir?"

"Yes, mister Son?" Brown asked.

"Uh… can I go to the bathroom?" Goten asked. The was a giggle from one of the less mature girls.

"…" Brown said.

"Thanks!" Goten cried and jumped out of his seat, sprinting down the aisle and out the classroom door. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it heavily, breathing a loud sigh of relief as he sauntered down the corridor and into the men's toilet.

"Oh man… I think this lack of sleep is making me loose it…" he gasped, turning on one of the taps and splashing himself with cold water.

"And what do we have here?" a voice behind him said. Goten ignored it. "Looks like a little kid skipping class."

"If I was skipping class, I reckon I could think of a better place to hide than in here with _you_ lamoes." Goten said, splashing himself again.

"What did you call us?" another voice said.

"Lamoes," Goten said simply before straightening up and turning off the tap.

"I'll get you, you little spikey-haired punk!" a third voice, said.

"Oh?" Goten said, uninterested. He had to _really_ concentrate to detect their power-levels levels, it was quite pathetic really. Goten never flinched when a fist slammed into the back of his head, he simply grinned to himself when he heard the crunch of bones and a loud yelp from the bully. Goten opened his eyes and looked into the mirror over the sink, looking at the reflections of the four standing behind them. They wore flamboyant tracksuit jackets over their school uniforms, and three of them had bleached hair. All four of them were either smoking or had a cigarette tucked behind an ear.

"Get lost, idiots," Goten said.

"That was just a lucky shot," one of the bullies, rearing back.

"Probably," Goten answered again, then yawned. A leg swung in, but as far as Goten was concerned, it may as well have been moving in slow motion. The Demi-Saiyan simply hopped over the leg and kept on walking.

"Ha, the little coward is running away!" one of the other laughed.

"I'm just bored of you. I wouldn't get a kick out of fighting a bunch of weaklings like you," replied Goten.

"Who are you calling weaklings!"

"Idiots," muttered Goten, walking off. Goten had barely walked down the corridor when somebody called on him to stop.

"What is it?" Goten asked, turning around. A girl was standing there, looking at him curiously.

"You're Paris' boyfriend, are you?" she asked.

"I… uh…I guess…" Goten guess, scratching the back of his head.

"Well, have a look at this," the girl said, flourishing the school newspaper from her bag and handing it over to Goten. The young Super Saiyan looked at the front cover and blinked.

"Uh… mind if I hold onto this?" Goten asked. "You can have it back at break."

"Sure, keep it for as long as you want," the girl answered. "I get them for free anyway, I work on the paper."

"Thanks," Goten said with a grin.

"I'd better be going, later," the girl said and turned away.

"Uh… bye," Goten said and stuffed the journal into his trouser pocket.

"Ah, Goten, you've finally turned up. That was quite a long time you spent in the bathroom, did you have… problems?" Brown asked as Goten re-entered the classroom, a general snigger coming from the rest of the class.

"Uh, not really. Just got held up, that's all," Goten said, heading back to his seat.

"Dude, what kept you?" Trunks asked.

"I got something to show you both… meet me at our table at break," Goten said. "And bring Applor, things are slowly starting to go out of control."

** * ** * **

The gang loitered about in the Gravity Chamber for a while, pacing about.

"So… it's agreed, we forget about what happened last night," Vegeta said eventually.

"Definitely," Brolli said.

"Right then, let's get down to business," the Prince of all Saiyans said, plucking his base from the floor and slinging the sling over his shoulder.

"But what about Trunks?" Goku asked, nodding towards their prone front man, draped unceremoniously over one of the amps, the only sign that he was alive being the occasional rattling snore that escaped his throat.

"I guess I'll just have to fill in for him on this one," Vegeta said.

"You kidding!" Goku said.

"No, why?" Vegeta asked, looking puzzled.

"No reason," Goku said, straightening up. "Okay Gohan, count us in."

"One, two, one two three four!" Gohan shouted.

There was a clash of guitar strings, followed by a heavy series of clashed on the cymbals as the song's intro kicked in, then both Goku and Vegeta pounded on the strings of their respective guitar and bass, as Raditz and Gohan played the underlying beat and rhythm. Thankfully, Vegeta's singing could barely be heard over the instruments, due to Raditz's tail flicking out behind him, and deftly knocking the microphone's jack from the amplifier, saving the band from the cacophonic tones that came from Vegeta's throat.

** * ** * **

Trunks and Applor ambled their way over to where Goten was sat waiting at one of the picnic tables that were scattered across the school lawns. He was flicking through the pages of the journal that that girl had handed him earlier.

"Hey, Goten, what's the big emergency?" Trunks asked.

"This," Goten said, flicking through the pages until he found the relevant leaf, and handed the journal over to Trunks and Applor.

"Oh my god!" Trunks cried out. Everybody stopped what they were doing and turned to look at Trunks.

"What is it?" Applor asked.

"T… t…" Trunks stuttered, handing the journal over to Applor.

"Argh!" Applor cried, a blast of golden energy erupting around him. This _really _caught everybody's attention.

"Applor. Calm down! You've gone super!" Goten exclaimed.

"I… I can't help it!" Applor said through gritted teeth.

"Hi guys!" came a familiar voice. Goten and Trunks turned around and saw a trio of girls from their maths class standing there. Applor was too busy being Super Saiyan too notice them.

"Uh, hi," Goten said.

"What wrong with your friend?" one of the girls, who Trunks vaguely remembered as being called Mari, asked.

"Uh… nothing," Goten said hurriedly.

"Anyway… what's the big commotion?" another of the trio asked.

"Uh… we were just… looking at the journal…"

"Ooh, I have a copy of that somewhere," Mari said, reaching into her bag. Trunks and Goten gave each other a nervous glance as Applor's aura started to eat away at the journal in his hands.

"Oh hey, it's that band from last night, they were so cool!" Mari's friend said, looking closer at the picture.

"I know, their lead singer was s-o-o-o hot!" Mari said, then frowned. "Hey, hang on…" Mari looked up at Goten and Trunks, then back down at the journal, then back up at the two demi-Saiyans.

"Hey… that guy playing the guitar… he looks a lot like Goten…" the third girl said.

"Yeah… he's even wearing a school uniform…" the second girl said.

"That lead singer looks a lot like Trunks too…" Mari said.

"Coincidence?" Trunks hazarded.

"Hmmm," Mari said, unconvinced.

"I'll… I'll kill them…" Applor said through gritted teeth.

"I think your friend is going ballistic," Mari's friend sad, nodding towards Applor, who was vibrating with fury.

"Na, he's always like that," Trunks lied. "It's like… something he eats, or something."

"Oh, okay," the girl to Mari's right said, giving Applor a cautious look, then squealed as what was left of the journal erupted into a blazing fireball.

"So what are you guys doing tonight?" Mari asked.

"Killing useless bakas, that's what…" Trunks muttered.

"What was that? I didn't hear." Mari's friend asked.

"Uh… I said… filing useful papers," Trunks lied again, shifting uneasily.

"Oh, okay. Want a hand?" Mari asked.

"No, the three of us should manage it fine," Trunks said, backing away. "Listen, uh, we have some things to do, so… I guess I'll see you in maths, right?"

"Sure… bye…"

Trunks grabbed Goten and Applor by the sleeves and dragged them away from the girls, trying to find somewhere quiet to plot their new scheme. Unfortunately, the rest of the school day went much the same way.

** * ** * **

"Listen, Kakkarot, I may not be the most powerful warrior in the universe, but I know how to sing!" Vegeta snarled.

"But… you don't!" Goku wailed. "C'mon guys, back me up here!"

"Gah, I hate to admit it, but Kakkarot _does_ have a point…" Turlus said.

"Et tu, Turlus?" Vegeta snarled.

"Eh?"

"Forget it…" Vegeta sighed. "But, until that idiot son of mine form the future wake sup from his drunken stupor, we don't have a vocalist!"

"Can't we just… _pretend_ he's vocaling?" Goku asked.

"No, Kakkarot, we can _not_ just pretend!" Vegeta snarled. "What's next, _imagining_ that we're playing a gig?"

"Why not?" Goku asked.

"The Prince Of Saiyans does _not_ do imagining, _that's_ why not!" Vegeta yelled.

"But…"

"Shut up!"

"It's just…"

"Shut up!"

"And…"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!" Vegeta cried.

"You see…"

The dust rose the room shook, and then the dust settled again. Goku was a pair of legs sticking out of the floor, and Vegeta was a heaving golden glowing mass of hair.

"Alright, now does _anybody else_ have a problem here?" the prince said, turning his eye around the room. Raditz swallowed hard and shook his head, Turlus blanched, and Gohan was still too hung over to see straight. "Good, now. Iron Man, from the top!"

And so Death Saiyan tried to continue rehearsing without their front man, but for how long can they put up with Vegeta's awful vocals? Find out, in Death Saiyan!


	9. Infinite Dreams AKA: Gohan’s Crazy Dream

Disclaimer: Melgium!

** * ** * **

Chapter Nine: Infinite Dreams (A.K.A: Gohan's Crazy Dream)

Gohan yawned and stretched as he slumped out of Capsule Corps' front door. The sun was just lowering down over the city skyline, and dark sky was rising behind him. Gohan's shadow was long on the ground as he walked along the streets, which were surprisingly busy for this time of night. Cars zipped back and forth, and people thronged the paths on the roadsides, bouncing off Gohan's body as they tried to push past him. Soon he was home and he slipped quietly upstairs into the empty house; Videl and Pan were still next door with his mother, probably plotting some unseen thing against the menfolk, Gohan thought.

Gohan quickly slipped off his clothes down to his boxer shorts and fell forwards onto the bed, pushing himself onto his elbows so that he could take a drink of water from the glass that was on the bedside table. If Gohan were more awake and fresh, he would have wondered why there was a glass there, but instead he embraced the icy coldness of the water and fell asleep.

** * ** * **

The sun rose over West City, the stray fingers of golden light finding their way through the shutters of the windows and to Gohan's sleeping eyes. The lids flickered and opened, Gohan's dark irises accustoming themselves to the bright morning light. Gohan yawned and rolled over, smiling as he saw the sleeping form of Videl lying next to him, breathing softly and her eyes closed tight. Carefully, he moved Videl's hand from his shoulder and placed it down beside her, not wanting to wake her from this almost perfect sleep she had fallen into.

Gently climbing out of bed, Gohan moved over to the window and stretched, the skin of his naked body tightening about his muscles and squeezing out those last dregs of rest. Then Gohan opened the shutters, and there in the street outside of the house a throng of people stood, watching his bedroom window expectantly.

"BEHOLD! THERE HE IS! THE GOLDEN ONE HAS AWOKEN!" the crowed chanted in unison. Gohan screamed in terror, fully realizing his nakedness before them, and closed the shutters quickly. He turned and put his back against the shutters and wondered what the hell he was going to do about this situation. A pounding at the door interrupted he thoughts.

Gohan squealed in terror and fled back to where his clothes were strewn on the floor, quickly pulling on some boxer shorts and a long baggy T-shirt.

"Gohan!" Came a cry from the door, and Gohan flinched.

"Hold on, Mother!" Gohan cried as he turned and saw Videl was awake. He suddenly panicked and ushered her under the covers. The door shook on it's hinges as Chi-Chi pounded on it's surface, and Gohan managed to get himself between the door and the bed just as it slammed open.

"Hello, mother!" Gohan said, in a deceptively cheerful way.

"Don't you 'Hello mother' me!" Chi-Chi snapped. "What are all those people doing out there!"

"Well uh… I…"

"Come on, what have you been up to?!" demanded Chi-Chi.

"They must have popped by for something," Gohan said.

"Popped by for something?! _Swarmed_ by more like!" Chi-Chi screamed. "There's a _multitude_ out there!"

"They _started_ following me yesterday," Gohan wailed, resorting to the truth.

"Well they can bloody well _stop_ following you right now," Chi-Chi said, storming over to the windows and throwing them open, letting her hard glare gaze down upon the crowd.

"Now stop following my son! You ought to be ashamed of yourselves!" Chi-Chi shouted. "THE GREAT SAIYAMAN! THE GREAT SAIYAMAN! SHOW US THE GREAT SAIYAMAN!" The crowd cried, still in unison.

"The who?!" Chi-Chi asked, bewildered. "There's no Great Saiyaman in here. There's a mess alright, but no Great Saiyaman. Now go away!"

"GOHAN! GOHAN!" they cried.

"Right, my lad, what _have_ you been up to!" Chi-Chi snarled, slamming the shutters shut and advancing towards Gohan, who backed away.

"Nothing, Mum!"

"Come on, out with it!"

"They think I'm the Great Saiyaman, mum." Gohan flinched as the fryingpan slammed into the side of his.

"_What_ have you been telling them?!" Chi-Chi demanded.

"Nothing! I only…"

"You're only making it worse for yourself!"

"Look, I can explain!" Wham! Chi-Chi's frying pan was a blur once again as it crashed into Gohan's head.

"Let _me_ explain, Missus Son!" Videl cried. Chi-Chi turned around slowly to face her. "Your son is a born hero! Those people out there are following him because they believe in him, Missus Son! They believe he can give them hope, hope of a new life! A life free of crime, of terrorism, of genetically engineered psychopathic green androids!"

Chi-Chi gawped at Videl's presence, not believing that this young, naked girl before her would possibly _dare_ stand up to her.

"Who's _that_?" Chi-Chi demanded, turning back to Gohan, who cowered back so much that the wall behind him started to crack.

"This is Videl, Mum. Videl… mother," Gohan explained, giving a little whimpering smile. Chi-Chi's frying pan was a blur again as he smacked off Gohan's head, then she stalked back to the window as Videl ran over to Gohan, shielding him from the enraged frying pan-wielding onna.

"THE GREAT SAIYAMAN! THE GREAT SAIYAMAN!!" The crowd chanted, and Chi-Chi's anger was risen to a new level. Rolling up her slaves and growling, she threw open the windows and glared down at the crowd once again.

"Look here," she said firmly. "He's _not_ the Great Saiyaman! He's a very naughty boy! Now go away!"

"WHO ARE YOU?" The crowd demanded.

"I'm his mother, that's who!" Chi-Chi replied haughtily, pulling her self up to her full hight.

"BEHOLD, HIS MOTHER!" BEHOLD, HIS MOTHER! HAIL TO THEE, MOTHER OF GOHAN!" The crowd chanted as one. Chi-Chi's angered subsided briefly and she paused to adjust her hair. "BLESSED ARE THEE! SON CHI-CHI! ALL PRAISE TO THEE, NOW AND FOR ALWAYS!"

"Well…now, don't think you can get around me like that!" Chi-Chi said, her resolve intensifying once again. "He's _not_ coming out, and that's my final word! Now shove off!"

"NO!" shouted the crowd.

"Did you hear what I just said?!" 

"YES!"

"Oh, I see." Chi-Chi was dumbstruck, and there were too many of them for the frying pan. "It's like that, is it?"

"YES!"

"Oh… alright then, you can see him for one minute." Chi-Chi said eventually. "But not a single second more, understand?!"

"YES…"

"Promise?" Chi-Chi demanded.

"WELL… ALRIGHT THEN…" the crowd's voice boomed in answer.

"Well… alright then, here is. Come on! Cone and talk to them," Chi-Chi said, disappearing from the window and grabbing Gohan.

"But mum, Videl…"

"Leave that welsh tart alone," Chi-Chi ordered, dragging Gohan away.

"But I don't really want to…" Gohan's words drowned away as he turned and looked out across the sea of people that were clustered below his bedroom window. They were even clustered on the roofs of the buildings on the other side of the street. Then, as one, the crowd burst into cheers and cries of great joy, and in the air were waving hundreds of pairs of hands, holding white boots and various sorts of helmets.

"THE GREAT SAIYAMAN! THE GREAT SAIYAMAN!" they cried.

"Uh… Good morning!" Gohan shouted out across the street."

"A BLESSING! A BLESSING!" the crowd shouted back.

"No, no! Please, listen!" Gohan said, waving his hands. "I've got one or two things to say."

"TELL US!" the crowd cried. "TELL US BOTH OF THEM!"

"Look! You've got it all wrong! You don't _need_ to follow me! You don't _need_ to follow _anybody_! You've got to think for yourselves! You're all individuals!"

The crowd stood still for a moment as they took this in, then they all looked at one another.

"YES! WE'RE ALL INDIVIDUALS!"

"You're _all_ different!" Gohan cried.

"YES! WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT!"

"I'm not…" said Piccolo, who was immediately hushed by everybody around him.

"You've all got to look out for yourselves," Gohan explained.

"YES! WE MUST LOOK OUT FOR OURSELVES!"

"Exactly!"

The crowd paused once again as they absorbed all this.

"TELL US MORE!"  
"No! That's the point! Don't let anybody tell you what to do, otherwise… ow no, Mum!" Gohan yelped as Chi-Chi grabbed his ear and pulled him from the window. The crowed bayed in contempt as dismay as their golden savior was dragged from the window mid-speech. They had really been enjoying that.

"OOOOOOH! THAT WASN'T A MINUTE!" the crowed jeered and hissed.

"Oh yes it was!"

"OOOOOOH NO IT WASN'T!"

"Hey look, stop that!" Chi-Chi cried, waving her hands. "And go away!"

"Excuse me?" came a lone voice from the crowd below.

"Yes?"  
"Are you a virgin?" the voice asked.

Chi-Chi was stunned. "I _beg_ your pardon?!"

"Well, if it's not a personal question – Are you a virgin?" the voice asked again.

"If it's not a personal question?! How much more personal could you _get_?! Now _piss off_!" And with that, Chi-Chi withdrew from the window, slamming the shutters shut behind her.

"Yeah, she is. Must be," the crowd mussed and muttered to itself. "Definitely."

** * ** * **

Gohan walked down stairs with Videl in tow, and what he saw made him cringe. The house was filled to bursting point with people, and standing in the middle of it all were Goku, Turlus, Uncle Raditz and Tomatta.

"Morning, Savior!" Goku said, cheerfully.

 Gohan looked up and groaned as he made his way through this newest crowd, hands reaching out and pawing at him as he made his way through the knot of people towards where his father and the others were standing.

"Don't jostle the golden one, _please_!" Raditz said, pushing as many hands away from his nephew as he could. The four Saiyans led Gohan through the house towards the front door, as people still tried to grab hold of him.

"Don't push that criminal in the savior's face!" Turlus snapped. "He'll catch him later."

"Can you take my wife to the hospital, please?" A posh voice cried out.

"You'll have to wait, I'm afraid," Goku replied.

"It's very bad," the voice said again. "We have a luncheon appointment."

"Look, the Burglars are queuing!" Turlus snapped, shooting the husband a glare that would have melted solid lead.

"Uh… Gohan, can I introduce the gentleman who's letting us have the school hall for a demonstration on being good on Saturday. Gohan?" Tomatta asked, looking about and seeing nobody. Gohan had managed to sneak out through the back door, and he leaned his back against it, sighing a deep sigh of release.

Back in the house, things were still as turbulent.

"Look, can you keep the noise down please? Those possessed by the black water mist, please try and stop eating _everybody_ won't you?"

Meanwhile, Gohan fled down the steps and through the garden, and paused when he heard the sound of footsteps behind him.

"Gohan? Oh Gohan!" Videl crooned. "You were Fantastic!"

"You weren't so bad yourself," Gohan said with a sly grin.

"No, what you said just now! Quite extraordinary! We don't need any leaders, you're so right!"

"What?!" Gohan exclaimed.

"The governments have been dominating us for too long!"  
"Well… yeah… I guess…" Gohan said. He had always thought that was the whole _point_ of the government… to govern.

"It needed saying! And you said it, Gohan!"

"You really are very attractive…"

"It's _our_ revolution! We can _all_ do it together!"

"I think…. I think I…"  
"We're all behind you, Gohan! The revolution is in _your hands_!"

"What?! That's not what I meant at all! I…" Gohan stopped when a heavy hand came down onto his shoulder. Gohan turned around slowly and looked up into the cold black eyes of Brolli, who sneered.

"You're fucking _nicked_ me old beauty!"

Gohan was about to say something, such as "unhand me, you brute!" when Hercule pirouetted past in a Tutu, singing "I'm too sexy for my shirt." 

** * ** * **

"Argh!" Gohan screamed and sat bolt upright. Videl, startled by the sudden movement, stirred and opened her eyes and looked at Gohan.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Y-yeah… I'm fine…" Gohan said and lay back down with a sigh. Videl gave him a scrutinizing look, and sighed.

"Sure, okay Gohan…" Videl was about to say something else then decided not to. She was asleep again in moment.

"Women…" Gohan muttered and went back to sleep, but the rest of his dreams were troubled from then onwards by the sight of Hercule Satan wearing a pink Tutu.

** * ** * **

President Black, corporate owner of the Red Ribbon Record company (all rights reserved) lounged back in his large black leather office chair and laughed. All was going according to plan, and soon the world's population would be a zombified whored wanting… nay, _craving_ his music!

"MWAHAHAHAHahahahahahah!" Black laughed

"I'm sorry, sir?" his secretary said, over the intercom.

"Sorry, Miss Lime," Black said. "Just uh… thinking of the joke Vice President Blue told me yesterday."

"Ah, of course," Lime said.

"What's my schedule for today?" Black asked, spinning the seat around.

"You're free until 1pm, then you have a business meeting with the Satan Record Business, re: the closer of their account and the over taking of by RRR."

Black nodded. One of the secondary goals of Red Ribbon was also the monopoly on all music, and this was attainable by buying all the other music labels.

"At 3pm, you're scheduled for a business meeting with one Mister Hakarimoto, the details of which have been kept from me," Lime reported from her desk on the other side of the office wall. "Uh…" There was the sound of some paper being shuffled. "That appears to be all, Mister Black. In all, a fairly inactive day today."

"Good, gives me more time to plan the over taking of the world."

"Sir?"

"Nothing!" Black said hurriedly.

There was a brief electronic click as the intercom connection closed, and Black was left with his own private thoughts.

Several years ago, Black had found himself sitting at the end of a pier, in Big Robot. This came as a bit of a surprise to General Black, seeing as he had just been blown up (actually, it had been closer to 35 years previously that Black came to a grisly end after kidnapping a certain Bandit, two certain shape-shifters, a certain genius, a certain old pervert and a certain talking turtle, as well as stealing 6 certain orange golden sphere about the size of a fist) by an irate kid with a tail. Black, seeing the error of his ways, went about correcting the errors of his ways in his own unique way. Unfortunately, Black saw that the error of his ways was that he had never actually managed to take over the earth, and his mind, he saw this as a very big error.

To correct this error, General Black called to him the survivors of the black ribbon army, and it seemed that for the most part, they were the ones who made of the naval and air arm of the force, and a handful of soldiers. This didn't worry Black, as he felt that taking over the Earth was going to take a more subtle approach. After all, a small cell is going to be harder to spot than a large army. So he had sold off what was left of the Red Ribbon's armed forces, and used his connections to buy himself a large slice of the corporate sector, and with that he had started to meddle in the music business. Before long, he had one of the biggest music production companies on the planet, and his influence was growing more and more powerful by the day.

Black gloated to himself as he run long slender fingers over a platinum disk embedded into the British Oak desk that he sat behind.

"First, the music world will crumble to my touch… and then…" black broke off the sentence to chuckle. "And then, the world will feel the might as the red Ribbon Army once again!"

"Uh… Mister Black sir, there's a young lady here to see you," Lime said.

"A young lady? For me?" Black said, sitting up straight.

"Yes sir."

"Well don't be rude, show her in!" Black said in an all too nice way. Lime shrugged and closed the intercom, and showed the lady how the way in.

Black watched as the office doors opened, and Lime ushered in his guest. She had large blue eyes and shoulder-length blonde hair. She was a cutie, and as the lady looked towards Black, she demurely pushed several strands of hair from in front of her eyes and behind her ear.

"You're Black, aren't you," she said.

"Yes, yes I am, miss…?" Black asked, offering his hand. The lady looked at it, and smiled politely.

"My name is Number 18, General."

"I see somebody has been doing their research," Black growled sitting down.

"Not particularly," 18 said with a smile. "Dr. Gero was kind enough to leave me full records about Red Ribbon."

Black froze when 18 mentioned Gero's name, and his hand smoothly started to move towards a security button. "So, that old coot is still alive, then?"

"No," 18 said, placing one hand on her hip and moving towards the desk. "We took care of him."

"We?" Black asked weakly.

"My brother and I."

"You're brother being…?"

"Number 17, of course," 18 said with a polite smile.

"Of course, how could I have been so stupid?" Black said, and swallowed hard. His finger darted out and pressed the button. There was a mechanical whir as several off the roofing tiles slid back and blaster gun turrets swung down, focusing on the intruder into the room.

"I suggest that you back away, android… things will get pretty messy."

"I haven't come here to destroy you, you stupid man," 18 said with a laugh. "I've come with a business opportunity for you." She leaned forward and placed her hand son the desk, pressing down with more force than need be. Cracks shot out across the polished and reinforced wooden surface from where her hands appeared to be merely resting on the surface.

"A business opportunity…" Black said lamely.

"Yes. Call it more a favour, from one Red Ribbon to another," 18 purred.

"Um… anything," Black croaked.

"Not until you get rid of those guns… or will I have to do it for you?"

"S-sorry?" Black asked, totally forgetting about the turrets.

"I see. Very well then," 18 said and turned around, scooting back and sitting down on the desk, folding one leg over the over in a very ladylike manor. Pointing a finger at each of the turrets, she let a single pin-prick of red energy shoot out across the room, each turret exploding as the blasts touched the gleaming metal surface. When she turned back around, Black had vanished.

With a sigh, 18 looked under the table and found Black cowering there.

"Listen, do you want to do business or don't you?"

"Yes, just don't kill me!" Black whined.

"Idiot, If I wanted to kill you, I could have just blown up the building," 18 growled. "But let's just leave things at that. Now, instead of _asking_ you nicely, I'm going to tell you. You are going to sign up my band to your record label."

"Yes! Yes! Anything! Just don't kill me!" Black whined. 18 gave him a look of disgust then left the room, leaving the former General of the Red Ribbon Army cowering under his desk.

** * ** * **

"For the last time, no!" Vegeta snarled. Mirai ducked as a brick flew over his head.

"But, Dad! You need to see somebody about this, it's unhealthy!"

"Unhealthy? _Unhealthy_?! You dare tell the prince of All Saiyans what healthy is?!"

"Um… Dad?"

"What?!"

"Calm down?"

"No, I will not calm down!"

"Dad!"

" I am _not_ going to see a psychitrist!"

"But you've got to have this problem sorted out before it takes over your life!"

"How in the name of Vegeta could it take over my life?!"

"I don't know!" Mirai exclaimed. "Maybe you might start walking funny!"

"'Hello, my name is Vegeta, and I would like to register a funny walk you lanky baka' funny?"

"Yes!"

"Fuck off!" Vegeta snarled and hurled another brick at his future-son.

"Where the hell are you getting those bricks from?!" Trunks demanded, quite bewildered at his father's arsenal.

"Come closer and I'll show you."

Trunks started to move forward, then hesitated and stopped. "Uh, no thanks. I'm quite fine where I am."

"Curses," Vegeta muttered.

"I think I here mom, calling, bye!" Trunks yelled and ran off before Vegeta could say anything.

"Damn that brat… I am _not_ going to see any damn baka human doctors!" Vegeta snarled.

"Why not, Mister Vegeta?" came a voice from behind him.

"Argh!" Vegeta screamed. Whirling around, he saw Goten looking up at him, no more than a foot away.

"I Instant Trance-fishinged here," Goten mispronounced. "I'm getting better at it. Last time, I landed in the pond, and I nearly stood on Ginyu."

"How delightful," Vegeta said, giving Goten what he hoped was a 'you're boring me, Kakospawn, now get out of here before I blast you,' expression.

"Yeah, could have been worse."

"Yes, I could have mistaken you for Buu and killed you on the spot," Vegeta replied through gritted teeth.

"No, I could have landed in your bathroom when it was occupied. Boy, that would have been really embarrassing," Goten laughed, putting his hands behind his head.

"If that had happened whilst I was in there, I would have killed you in general principle," Vegeta growled, his eyes narrowing to slits.

"Yeah, my dad probably would have had something to say about that," Goten replied casually. "And my brother probably… but he's too busy with Pan right now, when he's not with you guys, I mean."

"Listen, you little third-class brat. Either you get out of my study, or I'm going to hit you so hard, that even your grandfather's going to feel it!"

"Which grandfather?" Goten asked.

"All of them!" Vegeta roared.

"Eep!" Goten shrieked and bolted out the door. Vegeta watched the young Demi-Saiyan run and chuckled to himself.

"That was harsh, Vegie."

"ARGH!" Vegeta screamed again, whirling around and seeing Goku standing behind him this time.

"Kakkarot, what the _hell_ are you doing in my study?!" Vegeta snapped, before adding: "And don't call me 'Vegie'."

"Looking for you. The guys are ready to practice, we need you in the bass, dude."

"'Dude'?" vegeta asked skeptically.

"Yeah, it's what we band-guys call each other."

"I am not a dude," Vegeta said lamely, his eyes narrowed.

"Yeah you are, you're a total dude."

"Yeah? And you're a total idiot."

"Heh heh heh," Goku laughed. "Hey!"

"Listen Kakkarot, arte you coming or not?" vegeta asked, already heading out the doorway.

"Yeah hey, wait for me!" Goku shouted running after the little prince.

The session lasted well into the night, and they jammed so hard that they were exhausted. Many returned home to bed, and we fast asleep before they hot the pillows, all except Brolli. Tomorrow was going to be Sunday… that meant dinner with Fru. That meant frying pans… and her notoriously bad cooking… For the first time in his life, Brolli was terrified.

**AN:** Sorry I haven't posted in a long time, guys. I've been really busy with *ahem* other things. But hopefully the next chapters of Death Saiyan should come out a lot quicker than this one did.

Paul.


	10. Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Disclaimer: BINGE!

** * ** * **

Chapter Ten: Sunday, Bloody Sunday.

The alarm went off, then another alarm went off, then three more joined in the chorus. Brolli groaned and sat up in his bed and glared at the chronometers that were sat on several surfaces of the room. Reaching out, he crushed the nearest one in his hand, then swatted the others against the walls, leaving pieces of clockwork strew about the floor as the Legendary stood up and stretched.

Idly, Brolli scratched his chest as wandered out of his room and into the main hall, where Tomatta has opened his door and was peering out of his own room.

"What the hell was that noise?" he asked.

"Alarm," Brolli mumbled.

"Oh," said Tomatta. "And uh… why aren't you wearing any pants?"

Brolli paused and looked down. His tail, coiled around his waist belt-fashion, was the only thing he was wearing.

"Not on," Brolli mumbled again. "No ask questions, Brolli asleep." Tomatta gave the Legendary a curious look, then shrugged and closed the door, returning to bed for another couple of hours sleep.

Brolli lurched into the bathroom and did whatever it was Saiyans did, before climbing into the shower. Twisting the knob right around, Brolli turned the water on and let an ice-cold spray drench his body. Unfortunately, the spray was aimed lower than Brolli had realised, and his vulnerables were given the frozen water treatment.

The scream shook the entire street and could be heard several miles away.

The door opened and Tomatta burst in, his muscles taught and ready for a fight.

"What is it?" he asked snapping his head left and right. "Is the tax man here again?"

"Gnnniggrrnd!" Brolli gasped through clenched teeth.

"What?"

"Cnnlllrd!"

"Eh?"

"C-cold!"

"Well turn the thermostat up!"  
"T-Thermuh-mo-w-what?"

"Therm… the thing that makes the water hot," Tomatta said.

"O-oh," Brolli said, then turned and looked at the shower controls, his teeth chattering loudly. Shakily, Brolli turned the dial and the water heated up considerably. He let out an audible sigh and his shoulders sagged in relief.

"And for gods sake, dude. Put some trousers on!" Tomatta said and stormed back to bed.

Brolli hesitated then frowned. "I'm in the shower you gimboid!"

** * ** * **

Vegeta glared at 18, 18 glared at Bulma, Bulma glared at Vegeta, and Goku was eating.

"So why are you here so early in the morning?" Vegeta asked slowly taking a sip of tea and a bite out of his toast, in what he hoped was a threateningly polite way. 18 watched him with a slight smile on her lips.

"I have a record deal for you," she said.

"A record deal?" Goku asked, spraying bits of noodle and bean across the table.

"Yes." 18 replied, picking a piece of half-mashed up something out of her hair, and peeling a noodle off her cheek.

"So… what does that mean?" Goku asked, drinking some of the stock.

"Surely even a simpleton such as yourself would be able to work that one out, Kakkarot," Vegeta said arrogantly taking another sip of tea, slurping it loudly to annoy the others.

"Well, what does it mean then, Vegeta?" Goku asked, looked at the Saiyan Prince over the top of his bowl. Vegeta gave Goku a death glare.

"Well… it's obvious…" Vegeta started, putting his cup down. "You… uh…"

"Yes?" Goku asked, eager for the answer.

"Well, obviously, you have a deal…. With records…" said Vegeta.

"What sort of deal?" Goku asked.

"One to do with records." Vegeta replied.

"Wow, really?" said Goku.

"Yes, really!" snapped Vegeta.

"You don't have a clue, do you?" Bulma asked with a smirk.

"… No." Vegeta said eventually.

"It's where a company pays you to release an album," 18 sighed. "I have you signed up to Red Ribbon Records."

"That name sounds familiar…" Goku said with a frown.

"Who cares, Kakkarot?! A deal's a deal. Even if it is made by an overgrown washing machine."

"Hey!" 18 snapped, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Heh heh heh, 'overgrown washing machine'" Goku chuckled to himself.

"What's so funny?" 18 snarled, standing up.

"'Overgrown Washing Machine'" Goku replied, and was smartly beaten over the head with a cooking pot. There was a loud _clang_ and Goku leapt back clutching his head.

"Ow hey, what was that for?" he whined.

"I felt like it, now you lot had better go record some songs for this album of yours, whilst I'll see if I can get you any more gigs." 18 said, dropping the dented pot to the floor and walking away.

Vegeta heard the front door click, and he took another bite of toast, chewing it slowly and thoughtfully.

"This record deal…" he mused, then swallowed. "It would mean… more people would hear us?"

"Of course. You'd have an _album_ out," said Bulma.

"And people would buy our album?" Goku asked, putting the empty bowl aside and picking up a full one.

"I guess so, you'd have to advertise and things," Bulma said thoughtfully, "but I think you guys should go and tour."

"Touring… that will take time, woman," Vegeta said, eating another slice of toast.

"Well? What did you expect? That you would become famous without any work?"

Vegeta avoided her gaze.

"You _did_ didn't you!"

"Uh… no?"

"Vegeta, you're as bad at lying as you are at cooking."

"So?!" Vegeta said defectively. There was a long, loud wet slurping sound as Goku sucked up a long string of noodles before putting the bowl down.

"How much will we have to tour?" Goku asked.

"Enough to become noticed," Bulma replied.

"That much?!" Goku wailed. "Aw man, this is gonna put a real crimp on our training!"

"Kakkarot, is fighting all you think about?!"" Vegeta asked, then paused as he thought about what he had just said. "Did I just say that?"

"Are you _sure _you're alright?" Goku asked. "You've been acting funny for days now."

"I have _not_ been acting funny!" Vegeta snapped.

"Yeah you have. Ever since you had that weird dream…" Goku started.

"What?! Has that long-haired brat been discussing my dreams with people?!" Vegeta screamed.

"Uh… no?" Goku lied.

"Goku, you're a worse liar than Vegeta." Bulma laughed.

"That's it! I'm gonna kill the little son of a bitch!" Vegeta cried, his hair flashing golden, the energy from his transformation blowing all the cutlery away.

"Vegeta! What have I told you about going Super Saiyan at the breakfast table?!" Bulma cried.

Vegeta hesitated and powered down. "Sorry."

** * ** * **

"Hey, Brolli! Over here!"

Brolli looked around and saw Raditz fly over to where he was.

"You get dragged into this as well, huh?" Brolli asked. Instead of the white fighting trousers and red sash, he was wearing a large pair of jeans and a deep red shirt, though the gold plates still adorned him.

"Dragged into it? Man, have you seen Cukumbri?! She's hot!" Raditz cried.

"Haven't noticed," Brolli mumbled.

"Hey, what's that behind your back?" Raditz asked, floating around to try and get a better look.

"Mumblemumblemumble," Brolli replied.

"Say what? I didn't catch a word of that," Raditz asked.

"_I said I bought some flowers for Fru!_" Brolli screamed.

"Woah, dude, you really _are_ trying to make an effort, aren't you?" Raditz chuckled.

"Shut up."

"You hoping for a bit of extra food?"

"Shut up."

"How a bout a bit of pudding?"

"Shut up."

"Or maybe some… 'Desert'" Raditz said winking.

"Either you shut up…" Brolli snarled. "Or I'll hit you."

Raditz went pale. "Woah relax, I was only kidding!" Brolli snarled between clenched teeth and lowered to the ground, Raditz following not-too-close behind.

"So do you remember how to get to their apartment?" Raditz asked, following behind Brolli.

"Of course I remember. Why do you ask?" Brolli snapped.

"Well it's just uh… you're going the wrong way."

Brolli stopped suddenly, and Raditz ploughed into the other Saiyan's back.

"I knew that," Brolli said and turned around. Raditz hastily hopped aside and jogged after Brolli, who was walking with an increased pace.

"Wouldn't it be easier if we just flew?" Raditz asked, walking along behind Brolli again.

"You sound like you're eager to get there," said Brolli.

"Well, I am! C'mon! There's two great looking women, and what's more, there's food!"

"Do you _always_ think with your stomach?" Brolli asked.

"It's not my stomach I'm thinking with, heh heh heh," Raditz chuckled.

"You're disgusting."

"And you have no sense of humour," Raditz sighed. "You have to lighten up, you know!"

"I'll lighten up when I see you bound to your mate and controlled by a fryingpan-wielding weakling."

"At least I'll be getting some nookie!" Raditz shouted back.

"Well… uh… well. Shit!" Brolli said.

"One-nil!" Raditz shouted, marking an invisible tally in the air. "You know, the day hasn't even begun, and I'm beating you already."

"Do you know why I haven't beaten your face into the ground yet?" Brolli asked casually.

Raditz raised an eyebrow. "No?"

"Neither do I," Brolli answered, looking behind him, an evil glint in his dark eyes. Raditz blanched again and fell silent.

"The humans are looking at us funny," Brolli observed.

"I guess it's because they haven't seen two heavily-built guys with tails hanging out the back of their trousers walking through the city before," Raditz said casually.

"Hmmm," Brolli said, seriously thinking about blasting the next human who gave him a funny look into the afterlife.

The pair walked along the streets in silence for a few more minutes, Raditz looking about curiously, often returning the stares shot towards them by passers-by.

"So I heard you got Chi-Chi to teach you table maners…" Raditz said eventually.

"Yeah? What of it?" Brolli snapped defencively.

"Nothingnothing!" Raditz said quickly, hopping to the side.

Earlier in the week, Brolli had turned up on Goku's doorstep with a sheepish look on his face…

"What is it?!" Chi-Chi has snapped. "I'm a very busy woman, you know!"

"I um… well…" Brolli started, placing the tips of his index fingers together. "I want you to teach me table maners."

Chi-Chi fell over.

"You want me to do _what_?" Chi-Chi asked, dumbfounded.

"Well, you know I'm going over to Fru's this weekend… and I uh, don't want to look like some sort of barbarian…"

"Oh I see," Chi-Chi said giving Brolli a sly wink. "You want to impress a certain lady with your elegance.

"I do?" Brolli asked, unsure what 'Elegance' meant.

"Yes, you do," Chi-Chi said firmly. Obviously, that was the _end_ of that conversation.

Chi-Chi beckoned Raditz into the house, the Legendary ducking under the doorframe as he entered, and stood awkwardly in the kitchen area.

"Oh, hey Big Guy!" came a familiar voice, causing Brolli to flinch.

"Kakkarotto…" he muttered under his breath, and then looked up to see Goku walking into the room cheerfully. He was out of his fighting gease for a change, and was wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt over beige trousers.

"Kakkarot… what _are_ you wearing?" Brolli asked.

"Oh, these?" Goku said, pulling at the fabric of the shirt. "It's just something I pulled out of the wardrobe."

"Evidently…" Brolli said.

"Mister Brolli, over here if you please," Chi-Chi called out, pointing to the table.

"Um… okay," Brolli said, lumbering over and looking down at the female earthling.

"Sit," Chi-Chi demanded. Brolli felt his legs buckling at the knees before his brain even knew what was going on. He pulled out a seat and quickly plonked his rear down onto it.

"Okay now, carefully tuck yourself in under the table."

Brolli did as he was commanded and tried carefully to place the chair and his legs under the table.

"Right okay good. Now, take the fork." Chi-Chi said.

"That's the one with the prongs," Goku said helpfully and pointing.

"I know what a fork is, Kakkarot," Brolli snarled.

"That's a spoon," Chi-Chi said patiently. Brolli plucked up another utensil. "Knife."

"Damnit, this is harder than it looks," Brolli said.

"So how did it go?" Raditz asked, returning the Saiyan's attention to the here-amd-now.

"How did what go?"

"The table-manners-lesson." Raditz prompted.

"It went well… after a while. It took some getting used to, but I found out the uses of over fifteen types of fork, thirteen types of spoon, and five types of knife."

"Only five types of knife?" Raditz asked.

"Yeah… it appears even humans have realized there's only so many ways to cut something up."

It's only a matter of time before they invent some sort of miniature chain-saw that they can use as a knife, though," Raditz said.

"Yeah… these Earthlings are lazy." Brolli replied.

"I'm still surprised how weak Kakkarot was when I arrived on Earth."

"Really?" Brolli asked, perking up. Finally, the subject had turned to something more interesting… the severe beating of Kakkarot.

"Yeah, according to my scouter, Kakkarot's power level was only around Three hundred and fifty."

"You're joking!" Brolli said. "My power level was almost _thirty_ times that when I was _born! How long ago was this?"_

"About… twenty, I think," Raditz said.

"Twenty years ago…" Brolli mused. "Id say my Power Level, when it wasn't being controlled by my father, would have been about… six million by then. Sixty when I went into my… I dunno what to call it. I thought it was Super Saiyan, but it turns out it was a stage before Super Saiyan."

"The others call it your 'Legendary' form; but your Power Level was _really_ that high?" Raditz asked.

Brolli nodded. "Something like that, yeah."

"Wow…" Raditz breathed, then slowly cracked a grin. "Imagine what would have happened if you had come to earth with us all those years ago."

"I would have seen Kakkarot, went Super Saiyan, and then _nothing_ would have been able to stop me destroying this galaxy, an then any other." Brolli said simply.

Raditz stopped dead in his tracks. "I never thought of it like that."

"Not many people would," Brolli replied.

"Would have been cool to see Frieza's face though, when the Legendary Super Saiyan came tearing through _his Galaxy and then tearing through __him."_

Brolli laughed. "Yes, It would have been interesting to meet that bastard."

** * ** * **

Meanwhile, several thousand miles generally south of where Brolli and Raditz were standing, the sun was burning down on the arid, red landscape. The heat would have been enough to kill any man foolish enough to find himself trapped in the lonely dessert. Fortunately for the two making their way across the inferno that was the Australian outback, they weren't men. They weren't even human. Nobody on the planet except for themselves knew what they were. Not many even realized that they were on the planet.

"Where are we going _now, son? We've been trudging across this dreary little mud ball for over a year!"_

"Oh must you always complain, father?" the other replied. "Our little quest will be over soon, and then I will have Immortality!"

"You mean we'll have a spaceship," the first speaker corrected. His voice was softer, and sounded more cultured. The other's was harsh, and sounded quite mad. Not mad as in angry or cross, but mad as in sitting in the corner, frothing at the mouth and talking to famous people long dead as demonstrated in some hospitals where one can have a pleasant conversation with Napoleon, Joan of Arc, and God in the space of half an hour.

"Yes, that's what I meant, father." The other said.

"Ooh, I know! Why don't we wish back your friends?" the first speaker asked.

The other hesitated. "Uh… friends?"

"You know, the fat pink one, and the rather handsome green one."

"_Them_?!"

"Yes, and the other five. The ones you spoke most highly of."

"Oh gods… you mean the…"

"Yes, that group of dancers that toured the empire."

"Father, they were elite fighters!" the psychotic one cried.

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Ah, then they must have been covert operatives then!" the cultured one said in the manner that something had just fallen into place. "They only _pretended_ to be dancers!"

"No, father, unfortunately they weren't. They did those stupid poses because they thought it instilled awe or something into those they fought."

"Did it?"

The other hesitated again. "… Not really, no."

"Did they know?"

"I doubt it. The only one that seemed half intelligent was the long-haired red one, but even he seemed to be several fruit short of a tree."

"Then how come they were so effective?"

"Probably because the people they were supposed to be fighting were rolling around on the floor laughing at their stupid poses."

"I suppose if we wish them back, they could entertain us for a while."

"Possibly. "

"Okay, well, you said that the Dragonballs grant three wishes, correct?"  
"Yes."

"Okay, we wish your little minions back to life, then we wish them here to Earth, and then we wish for a spaceship. How's that?"

Frieza waved his tail about thoughtfully.

"Can't I have immortality, a spaceship, and an ice-cream instead?"

"No!"

** * ** * **

Brolli reached out his hand, and hesitantly pressed the button under the intercom.

"Hello?" came a voice.

"Hello?" Brolli asked.

"Who is it?" asked the voice.

"Um… it's me." Brolli answered.

""Me" who?" asked the voice.

"Me me."

"Who's "me"?"

"I'm me."

"But who are you?"

"I'm _me!"_

"Who?"

"… Just open the bloody door."  
"I'm phoning the police!"

"The what?"

"One side, big-guy." Raditz said, pushing Brolli aside. Raditz leaned down so his mouth was level with the intercom

"Cukumbri, is that you babe?" Raditz asked.

"Huh? I think you have the wrong apartment, buddy!" came the reply, and the line went dead with a click. Raditz blinked and straightened up.

"Which button did you press?" he asked, scratching the back of his head, his long hair waving about the back of his knees.

"The one in the middle?" Brolli asked uncertainly.

"I see." Raditz gave the intercom panel a closer inspection. "Uh…can you read Earthling?"

"I don't even know how to read Saiyan."

"We have our own written language?!" Raditz asked, shocked.

"I dunno."

"Hmm…" Raditz mused. "I have an idea."

Brolli watched as Raditz walked around the side of the building and launched himself from the path. He weaved about, peering from window to window, looking for any sign that the females were there. Raditz paused and looked closer at one of the windows, then recoiled as a high-pitched shriek pierced the air.

"You pervert! Get away from my window!! I'm calling the cops!"  
"Calm down lady!" Raditz shouted. "It's not as if I haven't seen one of you pathetic earthlings naked before !!"

"_Pervert_!" the woman screamed again, and Raditz flung his arms about his face as shards of glass flew around him as a result of something being thrown through the window.

Moments later, Brolli picked a dazed Raditz up off the deck, where he lay sprawled and groaning.

"What the hell did she hit me with…?" Raditz murmured, slightly concussed.

"This," Brolli said, and held up a frying pan in his other hand, complete with Raditz-forehead induced dent.

"What is it with women and frying pans on this accursed planet," Raditz snarled, finally managing to successfully stand upright without any aid from Brolli or the five little blue tweety-birds circling around his head.

There was a screech of tires, and the sound of running footsteps, and then then ominous sound of clicking weapons. Then a voice boomed out:

"Stay where you are!"

Brolli blinked and turned around. Standing behind him were two police officers, the largest of which was almost eighteen inches smaller than him. Brolli looked down at the man.

"What for?" asked the Legendary.

"Hey, isn't that that guy who destroyed the Neo Trade Centre buildings?" the smaller police officer said. The larger one took a closer look.

"Na, that guy had spikey golden hair."

"You mean like this?" Brolli said, going Super.

"Yeah, exactly like…" the police officer said, then fell silent. "Um… shit…"

The two officers of the law quickly beat a hasty retreat, leaving the smell of burnt rubber, fear, and urine hanging in the air.

"Imbeciles," Brolli muttered and turned around.

"Well _you two certainly know how to make an entrance," Fru smirked._

"Uh… thanks. I try," Brolli said, scratching the back of his head.

"What happened to him?" Fru asked, nodding over to where Cukumbri was fussing over a still dazed Raditz.

"Oh, some earthling female brained him with a frying pan." Brolli said.

"I see…" Fru aid.

"Uh, I brought these for you…" Brolli said, holding up a ruined bunch of flowers.

"They're… um… green…" Fru said, un-sure on how to reciprocate.

"Sorry about the creases… Raditz kinda fell on them."

"It's alright. They're… nice. I'm sure I can do something with them. Where did you get them from?" Fru asked.

"h, they were lying on some human's grave. He wasn't using them, so I thought I could put them to a better use."  
"Awww, that's so sweet," Fru said and, much to her surprise, she smiled.

"Don't mention it," Brolli.

"I guess you guys had better come in," Fru said. Cukumbri helped Raditz into the apartment block, and Brolli trailed in afterwards.

The next few hours were going to be like nothing Brolli had ever encountered before…

** * ** * **

**AN** Hey. Sorry about the delay in getting this chapter up. I've been doing other stuff, and I've been having trouble in writing. I think my muse has upped and died on me again. Ah well. I'm sure chapter 11 won't take TOO long to hit the Fanfiction shelf.

Until then, stayed tuned for some more Death Saiyan  ;0)


	11. Chicken Stew

Disclaimer. You know it. I know it. Even Jimmy the Flid knows it. So let's just _pretend_ I own Dragonball Z  *winks* 

**AN:**Well, here's chapter 11. FINALLY! Sorry about the large delays, but I had stuff to do, and like I said, my muse died on me.

Until next time, keep on rockin' *winks again*

Chapter Eleven – Chicken Stew... 

Brolli sat on the sofa watching that inane botch Earthlings loved so much. The meal had been good, the company was good, and the evening was just generally 'good'. Now it was time to leave, and Brolli was glad. He had been civil too much today, and now it was time beat up somebody.

"You guys be sure to stop by next weekend!" Cukumbri cried as Brolli and Raditz lumbered away. The pair ducked under the outside doorway and into the evening air, not noticing the collection of squad cars, riot vans and police cruisers parked en masse outside.

"With food like that? Of course!" Raditz replied waving as he lifted into the air.

_BLAM!_

The gunshot rang out across the street, and Raditz's head snapped around. Something bounced off his forehead, leaving a small red mark.

"Ow, hey, what was that?!" he cried. Looking below him. More gunshots rang out, and a cascade of bullets showered around Raditz. Coiling his tail around his body in case a stray projectile struck it, Raditz glared at police gathered below.

"Hey! You could really hurt somebody with these things!" the Saiyan shouted, snapping out and grabbing a bullet. "Oh hey, it one of the things the Earthling fired at me when I first got here."

"Raditz, stop playing about and destroy them already," Brolli said with a sigh.

"But… Chi-Chi…"

"What _about_ Chi-Chi?" Brolli asked.

"She'll uh… not be very happy."

"Oh for…" Brolli turned around and hurled a small charge of green kai into the cluster of police cars. There was an explosion, and the vehicles and police were scattered across the road, the air was pierced by a cry moments before a vehicle exploded in a torrent of fuel.

"Heh, that'll keep them occupied for a while," Brolli said with a smirk and flew off. Raditz lingered in the air, not sure what to do, and eventually flew away.

One thing was for certain, when Brolli was around, it was never a dull moment.

** * ** * **

Mirai, Tomatta and Bulma sat at their respective workbenches in a Capsule Corporation research and design lab, and generally tinkered. Tomatta and Trunks' arms moved quickly and delicately; adding pieces here, soldering devices there, making sure the current flow was all correct.

"I finished the main boards," Bulma said, tugging the protective goggles from over her eyes with a sigh and running a hand through her hair.

"Okay mom, I've almost finished the transchonometer devices," Mirai shouted.

"The displacement inhibitors are all done, I'm just working on interspacial-phase mechanisms," Tomatta replied. "Oh, and the nifty little hour chime mechanisms too."

"Right, good. Now all we have to do is add them to these watches," Bulma said, picking up one of the cheap plastic wristwatch she had a lackey buy at the local flea market: there was no point in buying expensive goods for mere proto-types.

There was a hiss, and light spilled into the room forming a perfect rectangle on the floor with a spiky-haired silhouette in the middle.

"Woman!" Vegeta growled. "You've been in this blasted laboratory for several hours now! When are you going to make me something to eat?"

"I told one of the chefs to do it," Bulma said.

"Wait, is the chef the one with the white hat?"

"Yes, Vegeta."

"And the apron?"

_"_Yes, Vegeta."

"And the foreign accent?"

"Yes, Vegeta."

"And that thready little moustache, right?"

Bulma sighed. "Yes, Vegeta."

"The one who I just threatened to kill if he didn't get out of this house."

"_Yes_, Veget… what?!" Bulma cried, looking in disbelief at her husband. "You just threatened to kill the head chef?!"

"He tried to feed me raw vegetables! Said I was eating too much meat!" Vegeta complained.

"That's no excuse!"

"I'm a Prince," Vegeta sniffed. "Nobody tells me what to eat."

"… Fine! Just for that, you're volunteering to try out these new watches."

"I'm what?!"

"You heard me."

"Uh… okay…" Vegeta said, not bothering to argue. "When?"

"Whenever we're ready."

"Fine. Just make sure you feed me before you do any of these test things." And with that, the Saiyan Prince walked out the room.

"Arrogant son of a… " Bulma muttered.

"There's always other chefs," Mirai said reassuringly, adding the finishing touches to the gadget he was working on. "Besides, Dad was right; he _does_ try and force us to eat _way_ too many vegetables. That just can't be healthy."

"Saiyans," Bulma muttered.

"Yeah, Saiyans, pfft!" Goten said, right behind her.

"_Argh!_" Bulma screamed, falling off her chair from shock.

"_Argh!_" Goten cried running about in circles, Bulma's scream scaring him half to death.

"Goten! Where did you come from?!" Mirai asked.

"Oh, sorry. I was aiming for Trunks' room. Guess I concentrated on the wrong Trunks. It's really hard to tell you guys apart when you're not Super Saiyans." Goten chirped.

"Uh… aiming?" Mirai asked, a look of bewilderment on his face.

"Yeah, for my Instant Trance Fishing," the youngest Son explained.

"Instant Tran…. Oh right, I get it. It's Instant _Translocation_, Goten."

"That's what I said: Instant Trance Vacation. Duh, I thought you were smart." Trunks was about to reply when Goten held his fingers to his forehead and vanished again.

"Uh… well _that _was random…" Tomatta said, staring at where his cousin's son had stood moments earlier.

Bulma picked herself up off the floor with a groan. "Somebody please remind me to put some sort of bell around that boy's neck…"

** * ** * **

"And it looked like they were _making_ stuff!" Goten said excitedly, finishing off his sentence. Trunks looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"It's a lab, of course they'll be making something. Besides Tomatta and mom often tinker about in there."

"Yeah, but you were there too."

"Goten, how many more times do I have to explain this? I'm not Trunks!"

Goten looked confuse at this, the narrowed his eyes threateningly.

"If you're not Trunks, then who are you?! And what have you done with the real trunks!"

"… I'm Trunks!"

"You just said you weren't!"

"I meant I'm not Trunks!"

"But you just said you were!" Goten wailed.

"I'm talking about the Trunks from the future!" Trunks cried.

"Oh…" Goten said, looking slightly less confused, then asked "So you don't think they're up to anything?"

"Na. Probably just messing about. Knowing Dad, he probably just wants his bass to be louder."

"Oh right. He's stopped calling it a Guitar, then?"

"Sort of. He's started calling it 'The Infernal Machine' now." 

Goten nodded knowingly. Unless it was food or training related, sooner or later every device became "The Infernal Machine."

"But still…" Trunks mused. "Maybe we should keep an eye on them."

"Yeah, that's what I've been thinking all the long." Goten said, exasperated.

"Right, okay then. We'll keep an eye on things. Maybe we can fathom out what they're working on, and then sabotage them, heh."

"Sabotage?"

"Y'know, mess things up a bit."

"Ooooh, like that time we change Vegeta's shaving foam for whipped cream?"

Trunks hesitated. "That wasn't so much sabotage… more sort of like, suicide."

"We escaped though." Goten reminded him.

"No Goten, _you_ escaped. I had to go back there eventually. I was grounded for a whole day!"

"Now way!"

"Yeah. My mom is really strict with me sometimes. Still, I suppose it could have been punished by dad."

"What would have happened?"

"Well let's put it this way… by the end of it, one of us wouldn't be around today."

"Ah."

"Exactly."

The pair tried hard not to think of a world with Trunks, and then sighed with relief.

"So what are we gonna do now, Trunks?" Goten asked.

"Now, we take our plan to phase three."

"What was phase two?" Goten asked, surprised.

"… We haven't done phase two yet?"

Goten shook his head.

"Hmm… you're right. Okay, now we take our plan to phase two!"

"Yeah, phase two!" Goten cried. "Uh… Trunks?"

"Yes Goten?"

"What's phase two?"

Trunks cracked a grin and Goten raised an eyebrow curiously. "Phase two, my dark-haired companion… is 'fun'!"

** * ** * **

Chi-Chi looked at the assembled standing about in her kitchen, the table and chairs all piled to one side to clear an area in the middle of the floor. Chi-Chi stood to one side, her back to the wall, her hands clutching a formidable-looking weapon. Videl, Fru and Cukumbri stood in the middle of the floor, watching on and swallowing nervously as Chi-Chi tapped her foot impatiently.

The door opened, and Bulma rushed into the room, casually followed by 18, who flipped her blonde hair behind her ear.

"Sorry I'm late, I was caught in the lab adding the finishing touches…"

"Fine, that's okay," Chi-Chi interrupted, then nodded to a place on the floor. "Just take a position and we'll begin."

Bulma nodded and stood in amongst the ranks, and 18 strolled nonchalantly towards the back, taking a position behind the others. Technically, she didn't really need to be here, seeing as her husband was getting older and weaker as the years crept by. But, she did have a troubadour of Saiyans to keep in check, and since Chi-Chi was giving lesson in Frying-pan Fu, 18 had decided that she wouldn't miss out on such a blatant opportunity to get one over on Vegeta.

"Ladies," Chi-Chi began, 18 gave a sidelong glance to Fru and Cukumbri, muttered "Ladies indeed…" under her breath. "Since you're all gathered together, I think it's time we began our first lesson of Pan-fu."

An approving murmur came from the crowd.

"Now, this, as you are well aware," said Chi-Chi, pulling a frying pan from somewhere behind her back, "is a common utensil used in the preparation of food." Everybody in the room nodded. "What most people are _not_ aware of, is that is also the most dangerous weapon known to Saiyan-kind. In the right hands, or rather; in a woman's right hand, (in the Other World, King Kai laughed at the pun, and made a mental note for it's future use) it can be the most powerful weapon in your arsenal. Some of you are well aware of the potential stopping power the common frying pan holds, but with my training, I can teach you to be a force more powerful than a Super Saiyan!"

All the women, bar 18, gave off a loud cry and excitement filled their eyes.

Chi-Chi began her first lesson, spending the majority of the time showing her pupils the correct way to hold the weapon, for maximum impact with the least strain on the wrist. They didn't mind the tedious lectures, and the mind numbly boring explanations of the way you could tell a good hit by the way the frying pan rings. They practiced what they were taught with the eagerness of the young, and they added to it with the determination of the mature, and they learnt quickly.

** * ** * **

"Woman!" Vegeta called. "Woman!! Where the _blazes_ are you?!" A towel hung about his bare shoulders, and his face was clad in white make-up, black makeup surrounding his eyes and lips. No matter what he tried, he couldn't remove it. Trunks zipped past quickly, a bag slung over his shoulder, and Vegeta's arm snagged out and expertly caught the demi-Saiyan.

"Brat, where is your mother?" Vegeta demanded. Trunks squirmed for a while, then gave up trying to evade his father's tyrannical grasp of his purple hoodie.

"She's at Goten's house, I think." Trunks said. Vegeta released the boy, and Trunks straightened the garment.

"Why?" Vegeta asked simply. "Doesn't she know she's disrupting my plans?"

By now, Trunks had taken a good took a look at his father and tried to suppress a snigger. "She said there was something they had to talk about… she said she wouldn't be long."

"How long ago was that?"

"About an hour I guess…" Trunks said with a shrug. Then: "Uh, dad?"

"What?"

"Why are you wearing make up?"

Vegeta hesitated.

"Shut up."

"But…"

"Listen, you. I won't put up with your intolerable babbling."

"But I…"

"If I wanted your opinion, I'd give it to you!" Vegeta snapped. That always shut the older version up.

"Yeah, but…"

_Curses!_ Thought Vegeta, then spoke: "Haven't you got… things to do? Some sort of… human things?" the Prince asked, waving his hand vaguely.

"Well… I guess so. But if you need help…"

"I do _not_ require your assistance, boy!" Vegeta snarled. "I am a Saiyan warrior, not some earthling weakling that cannot even deal with the inept attempts of taking over the earth by that fool Garlic!"

"Who?"

"Never mind!" Vegeta snapped. Trunks blinked for a moment, confused and slightly bewildered, then headed into the gravity room, slipping out of his hoodie and shorts. Opening the bag, he took out his training gi and pulled it over his head, sliding up the loose purple fighting trousers that matched his top.

He was aware of the distant sounds of explosions from the distant end of the chamber, and as he tightened the chord of his gi about his waist, a figure smashed into the floor before him and rolled away. Beside him, Applor groaned and pushed himself up onto his elbows, his golden spiked hair drooping slightly from the gravity. Trunks looked across to his right where Goten hung in the air, smiling in satisfaction as his golden aura pounded the air around him. Lightning radiated across his body, earthing itself into the near-by wall of the chamber every now and again.

"So, you guy's started without me, huh?" Trunks said with a smirk. "Well I'll tell you what. I'll take you _both _on, how's about it?"

"You sure that's a wise idea?" Goten asked, lowing to the floor and descending to Super Saiyan with a golden flash of energy.

"Of course I'm sure, Goten." Trunks said, and powered up in the blink of an eye, his hair raising and flashing golden as his eyes faded into green.

"Well, if you say so…" Applor said, pushing himself up to his feet.

Goten and Applor circled Trunks, as the young Prince watched his two opponents. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Applor pounce suddenly. Hoping to the side, Applor turned away in a feint, and Trunks spun around just in time to block Goten's elbow that had been aimed for his cheek. Trunks kicked out to dislodge Goten, but the blow was knocked aside by Goten's own knee, and countered with a quick punch from the Son. Trunks dodged that, and flicked his head to the side as Applor's fist thundered in, passing his ear. Trunks heard a gasp and a thud and felt Goten move away.

_Applor's attack must have struck Goten!_ Trunks though and hopped away, trying to keep both his fellow combatants in his view. Goten and Applor turned their green eyes on Trunks, who narrowed his eyes to slits as he studied them. _They're working in harmony… but Applor's used to fighting as an individual or in a trio, not as a pair… that's their weakness!_ Trunks thought and allowed himself a smile.

"Don't get too cocky yet," Applor said mirroring the smile.

"Oh I won't," Trunks replied. "I'll wait until I've won." He said, and lunged through the middle of the last word without hesitation. Applor backed away, blocking the kick that lashed out to the side his body, then ducked the sweeping lunge by Trunks' fist. Goten charged in and brought his knee up in a kick to the side of Trunks' own body, but hit nothing but air. Turning quickly, Goten blocked Trunks' downward sweeping kick, then grabbed the back-heal kick from the same foot in his hands. Pitching his body aside, the youngest warrior hurled Trunks aside and across the chamber. Applor vanished in a blur of speed, appearing behind Trunks in wait. Trunks stopped himself in the air, and in an instant he turned and struck Applor in the side of the head with his boot. Applor staggered to the side, and was barely able to block the barrage of punches that rained in on him from Trunks. Goten charged in, shouldering Trunks' aside, then blocked the golden bolt of energy that shot towards him, the kai exploding against his arms crossed over his chest. The blast sent Goten sliding back through the air, and as he opened his eyes, he saw Trunks swooping in towards him.

With an explosion of speed, Goten was above Trunks, hammering down with both feet, catching Trunks across the top of the shoulders. Trunks gave a cry as he crashed into the floor, then exploded out of the dust with a snarl spread across his features. The two best friends parried blows with each other, then Applor joined the fray, hurling punches in, only to have them blocked by Trunks' nimble hands and legs. Goten gave a signal to Applor, who nodded and swung his knee in straight to Trunks' gut. Trunks blocked the blow, but was surprised when Applor's forehead crashed against his cheek. Trunks growled and turned to face Applor, when a light caught his attention from the corner of his eyes.

"Surprise," Goten said, then cried: "_Kame-hame-HA!_"

The energy wave surged forward, and Trunks barely had time to guard himself as he was caught in the wake. The blue-white beam condensed into a sphere of energy around Trunks' body before exploding wildly, sending Trunks hurtling through the air, before he finally hit the chamber floor hard enough to shake the entire structure, stess fractures ripping tearing across the ground. He skidded to a halt, then quickly pushed himself away from the floor as Applor's foot smashed down, sending up shards of reinforced plasteel.

"You'll have to be quicker than that!" Trunks taunted as landed in a low defencive stance, hands raised, legs apart, spreading his body weight across his feet.

"Quicker you say?" Goten asked with a smile. "If you insist." With a cry, Son Goten was Super Saiyan 2 and charging in towards Trunks. Applor charged in at the same time, and Trunks gritted his teeth, flicking his glances across to his two opponents. Summoning every ounce of energy he had kept in reserve, Trunks surged his power level, getting the energy from deep within himself and sending it pouring into his body. His hair grew longer, almost trailing down to the floor, and his eyebrows faded then vanished. His aura erupted around him, and lightning cascaded across the golden flare of energy.

Applor's eyes widened, and then narrowed in determination. Trunks merely smiled and vanished. Goten cursed and looked around, and was swatted to the floor by a viscous kicked to the die of the head. Rolling to his feet, Goten lunged where Trunks had appeared, but hit nothing but air. Applor swooped around, and found himself slammed against the wall. The reinforced sheet metal buckled and widened into a crater before Applor dropped to the floor with a groan. Picking himself up, he managed to duck Trunks' second kick, but reacting quickly, Trunks swept his foot around and down, catching Applor on the back of the head with his heel. Applor hit the ground chin-first and remained still, his golden hair drooping and darkening to black.

Goten's knee rose into Trunks back, causing the older boy to momentarily arch in pain. Trunks growled and spun, swinging out with his elbow in a blur of speed. Goten was sent spinning through the air, and was then kicked into the floor as Trunks appeared above him. Goten bounced, and was sent sprawling across the floor from a swift kick to the gut. To finish the battle, Trunks closed his hands together at the heel of his palm, fingers splayed, and sent a bolt of blue-white energy surging towards his friend. Goten rose to his feet and yelped, hurled his hands to his side, and summoned what energy he had left into a last-ditched energy barrier to protect himself. The explosion from the Final Flash erupted around the barrier, then the field shimmered and collapsed as Goten's energy dropped severely. Trunks hand thrust through the flames and punched Goten in the forehead. The young Saiyan staggered back clasping his head and growling through gritted teeth.

"Ow! Hey, that hurt!" Goten complained, descending out of Super Saiyan.

Trunks grinned and descended himself in a flash of energy. "We were training, not playing games," Trunks reminded his friend.

"Yeah, but still…"

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. C'mon, lets go get something to eat."

"Food!" Goten cried happily.

A moan from the wall made them both turn as Applor picked himself up. "I could murder a curry," he said, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth.

** * ** * **

Brolli and Raditz slumped into Capsule corporation's front door, and headed straight into the living room. Slumping into the settee either side of the belligerent prince, Raditz grabbed the remote and switched the television channel over. Vegeta's eye twitched as he looked from Brolli to Raditz with annoyance.

Goku appeared next with a flicker, and slumped into the chair, and Vegeta's gaze drifted over to him.

Mirai sauntered into the room towel-drying his wet hair, and slouched onto another chair, whilst Nappa and Turlus came in arguing, and sat down on the sofa. Vegeta yelped as he was suddenly crushed between Brolli and Raditz who towered over him.

Applor, Goten and Trunks scurried in and sat on the arms of various chairs and the sofa, watching the TV and munching on sandwiches. Vegeta's eye twitched and a vein pulsed on his forehead. Soon, the talking volume began to rise, and at egging from the kids the television's volume rose to try and out-do the conversation.

Bulma ran into the living room and said something. Mirai Trunks nodded something, and stood up, tossing the towel aside. As luck would have it, it fluttered through the air and dropped expertly in the gap between Brolli and Raditz' large forms, covering Vegeta's glowering face.

"_What the blazes is going on?!_" he cried, grabbing the towel and hurling it aside. Everybody stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him with shock on their face, as if they'd just seen him for the first time. In background, the TV blared away to itself.

"_Don't you have homes to go to? Why are you here?!_"

"Uh… because Bulma called on us…" Goku said.

"Oh is that so?" Vegeta replied crisply, looking at Bulma.

"I need their help with an experiment, Vegeta," she said sternly.

"And I suppose my help isn't good enough," Vegeta said.

"Actually, I want your help too. But I was going to wait until later to tell you."

"Hmmph," Vegeta snorted.

"Come on you lot, follow us," Bulma beckoned, and she and Mirai headed away to one of the labs. Everybody trudged after them, except the three kids who stayed and watched the TV, free of the adult interference.

The adults clustered around a lab table and peered curiously at the items that were arranged neatly on the surface. They appeared to be wristwatches, cheap plastic things bought from the local market for a fiver each – capsule corp. had spared no expense!

Goku reached to the table and picked up one of the six watches and looked at it this way and that.

"Watches?" Goku asked with a frown.

"You brought us here to look at these basic time keeping devices?" Vegeta growled.

"Not just ordinary ones," Mirai said with a smile. "These ones have been modified with temporal synchonronisers."

"Oh, obviously." Vegeta said with a roll of his eyes. "Now won't you explain what that means in _English_?"

"It _means_ that they will, theoretically, keep perfect time." Bulma answered.

"Only on Earth," Vegeta countered.

"Well where else are we going to sell them?" Bulma asked. Vegeta opened and closed his mouth a few times.

"Shut up," he replied eventually.

"So why have you brought us here to see these watches?" Brolli asked, taking the watch from Goku and ignoring all subsequent complaints.

"We want you to try them out, for a few days. See how they keep the time." Mirai said.

"Compared to what?" Raditz asked, picking up a watch himself and peering at it this way and that. It felt heavy, but Raditz just guessed that all watches felt that way.

"All the digital house are tied in to a nuclear clock," Bulma said, then saw the blank expression on the Saiyan's faces. "That's a clock that counts how many times a certain atom vibrates, and translates it into seconds." She explained.

The Saiyans nodded in a "We knew that" sort of way.

"We only made six of the devices, though. So only six of you can volunteer."

"Well, I'm in," Raditz said, strapping the watch to his wrist.

"Me too," Goku said cheerfully, picking up a watch and trying to do the same, with a certain amount of failure.

"If _he's_ doing it, then so am I!" Vegeta said and grabbed his own watch, strapping it to his own wrist.

"Same here," Brolli said, attaching the watch.

"I'll take one," Nappa said hurriedly, poking his tongue out on concentration as he fastened the watch in place.

"Anyone else?" Mirai asked. Turlus edged away from the thing.

"Oh no, I'm not wearing one of those things," he said. "Something'll happen and I'll die. Again."

"Pfft, wuss," Brolli sneered.

"No, I'm cautious that's all." Turlus replied.

"Fine, I'll take the sixth watch," Mirai said with a sigh, strapping the watch to his wrist.

"Okay, to start the watch, press the little red button's on the side," Bulma instructed. "That should set the phase verification diodes working in synch with the rest of time/space."

"The wha?" Goku asked, looking to Bulma.

"It'll set the watch inline with the rest of the time and space continuum which feeds time into the universe," Mirai translated.

"Muh?" Goku asked, spinning and looking at the lilac-haired genius.

"You see, the watches work by harmonising themselves with how fast the universe is working, and then catching up with time," Bulma tried again.

"Eh?"

Trunks sighed. "It's a magic box."

"oh, _magic_! Then why didn't you say so?" Goku said.

"… W-… never mind." Mirai started, then gave up.

"Okay, lets start this off," Vegeta said, his finger hovering over the red button. Every voiced their agreement, their own fingers hovering over the buttons. Turlus licked his lips nervously.

"Go!" Vegeta ordered.

Everybody pressed the red buttons…

Everybody vanished with a blue flash of light.


	12. Shot Down In Flames

Disclaimer. Blah blah blah spoons, blah blah blah swordfish, blah blah blah. 

**AN:**Where did they go? What was that blue flash of light? Who knows? Me? You'd better hope I do, otherwise, there's no sequel!

Or is there?

Chapter Twelve – Shot Down In Flames 

Salem, Massachusetts. 1692.

The day was a clear, but cold, spring's morning. People bustled along, their dark clothes pulled tightly around them, with their hats pulled firmly over their heads for warmth.

Martha Corey hurried around the corner, her eyes low, thinking to herself. The witch hunt was the talk of the town, as more and more names were named and fingers pointed at the accused. Everywhere you turned, people were hurling accusations at one another, and it would only be a matter of time before there were more women rounded up and accused of witchcraft. The two magistrates who resided over the whole affair, John Hawthorn and Jonathon Corwin, were both unsympathetic, and listened to the accusations of the townsfolk rather than the denials and desperate pleas of those women condemned to be hanged.

 Looking up with a sigh, Martha ducked under and headed across the empty street.

A sudden blue flash erupted in front of her, and two men dropped to the floor. Martha suppressed a sudden outcry, and fled from the scene back to the safety of her hovel.

Goku opened his eyes and looked up, but the world was spinning around him so quickly, his stomach lurched. Collapsing back to the floor, his eyes closed as he struggled to stay conscious,

"Stop the world…" he murmured to himself before passing out. "I want to get off."

The Saiyan warrior slumped on the floor.

** * ** * **

"It's madness, all of it!" Rebecca Nurse hissed. "All these questions, all these _lies_! What good is it doing the town?"

"The town will be better off without these witches, you mark my words," Corwin said, taking a long drink of watered-down ale. "Evil is afoot in this town, Miss Nurse, and it's my duty under god to see that it is denounced."

"Yes, your honour," Rebecca said in defeat. The magistrate would have nothing to do with it, and she knew better than to press the issue, lest she was accused of witchcraft herself, or for being league with Lucifer to defend the witches. She returned to her duties in the tavern, serving ale, bread and cheese to the customers. The fire roared in fireplace, and thick warm smoke drifted up out of the chimney.

A blue flash lit up the window, and Sarah pause din her task. She looked around, but nobody else had noticed it. Making an excuse to the tavern owner, Rebecca headed outside and around the side of the building into the side-street. She heard footsteps hurrying away from the other side, but saw nothing.

Moving further into the small, narrow street, flanked either side by building walls and cellar doors, Rebecca's eyes darted from shadow to shadow.

"Probably some sort of… firework… maybe…" she said, more to reassure herself than anybody who was listening. Something in the shadows murmured something in a foreign tongue, and she jumped.

"Is somebody there? Hello?" she asked. Only silence answered her. Boldly, she moved forward, and looked around a rain barrel. Two figures lay on the floor, their hair black and spiked, one man's like a sheet of black fire. She gasped again and fled back into the tavern.

"Rebecca, what is it lass?" one of the townsmen asked, noticing the look of terror on her face as she ran straight into him, upsetting his flagon of ale.

"Outside, there're men, one of them's devilish in appearance! He has muscles the size of boulders on his arms, and both their hair is black as night!"

Muttering rose about the people as they listened to them.

"Devils caught in the sunlight, no doubt!" the Magistrate said smugly. "Obviously they were summoned to the town last night, and did not have time to escape back to which ever pit of hell spawned them."

He fixed his eyes on Rebecca, studying her for a moment with his dark eyes. "Show me where they are." He ordered.

"But… what if…"

"Relax, woman. They are caught in sunlight, they cannot harm us now," Jonathon Corwin said in reassuring tones, though his dark eyes still remained cold.

Rebecca nodded and headed out into the street and turned the corner, and Corwin came not long after. The townsmen followed them both, eager to see what these demons looked like, and they grabbed whatever they could in terms of weapons. Beams of wood were held aloft, and the more giddy of the group cried for the blood of the demons.

"What is all this commotion?" a clergyman demanded, hurrying down the street. "The noise can be heard from the Lord's House."

"We have a devil, father! Two of them!" one of the tavern patrons said excitedly. "They were found beside the tavern, by Rebecca Nurse."

"That place is filled with the evil sins of excess and defilement," the clergyman said with a sniff. "It does not surprise me that devils would be found close by."

"Come now father, you yourself have drank there occasionally," the man said with a grin, and dragged the priest with him.

"What the devil do you think you're doing?"

"If these truly are devils, you would be our greatest weapon to fend them off and send their evil soul back to the pit, father," the patron said. "Think of what would be said of you. "Father Connelly, banisher of devils". People would flock to your church from the surrounding towns."

The clergyman hesitated, then nodded. "Alright, it is my duty as a man of the cloth to confront the forces of darkness and banish them to whence they came!"

"Right, god. Now come on!"

The crowd surged forward into the narrow street, dragging the bewildered priest with them, and they came to a stop as they saw two heavily-built mean, one with hair like black fire, the other's arrayed in a mess.

"Demons!" members of the crowd hissed, and began talking amongst themselves. Father Connelly was pushed forward, and he skidded to a halt a couple of meters from Goku's outstretched hand that lay limp on the ground.

"Devils!" Connelly roared. "I beseech thee in the name of the lord, return thyselves to the pit from wence ye came!"

Goku groaned.

Father Connelly jumped in horror, turned and tried to flee back into the crowd, but was spat back out again. Regaining some of his composure, he straightened the fabric of his clothes and cleared his throat.

"Devils!" he roared again, reaching into his tunic and taking a bible out, then brandishing it like a shield. "In the name of the Lord I _command_ you to begone from the Earth!"

"Kakkarot, is that your foot?" Vegeta groaned. Goku replied with a grunt. "Well kindly remove it from my face." The prince shoved the boot away in mild disgust and stood up shakily. "Oh my head, I feel like I've just been hit by a certain Legendary Super Saiyan…"

Goku grunted and rolled over onto his side, and started to snore. Vegeta looked up, and saw the townsfolk staring at him, with wide fear-filled eyes. Father Connelly's mouth dropped open, and the bible shook erratically in is grip.

"What are _you_ looking at, Earthling?" Vegeta drawled. His thoughts were slow and disorderly, and his body ached all over. It was taking all of his willpower just to stay upright.

"D-d-d-d…" Connelly stammered.

"Well, don't just stand there, spit it out!" Vegeta snapped. "You're getting on my nerves."

"D-Devil!" the priest finally managed. "R-r-return from w-w-where y-you c-c-came from!"

Vegeta looked around at his surroundings, and snorted. "Like I'd want to stay in this mudhole." A loud snort came from behind him, and Vegeta turned and looked down at Goku. He had curled up into the foetal and was happily asleep. With a growl, Vegeta kicked him in the shin.

"I'll take the car to the garage this afternoon, I promise Chi-Chi," Goku mumbled in his sleep. Vegeta looked at him in disgust, then turned away, noticing that the people hadn't dispersed.

"Are you still there?" he rasped, taking a step forward. They crowd scurried back, all except Father Connelly who was too terrified to move.

"D-D-D…"

"Yes, yes," Vegeta said, waving his hand irritable. "'Devils, go away.' we've established that already."

"G-G-G-G…" Connelly stammered.

Vegeta stepped forward with a growl, and lost his footing. He hit the ground with a crash and yelped as his forehead bounced off the ground. Pushing himself up to his knees shakily, his thoughts reeled at the sudden sensation of pain that had just shot through his head.

Blood splattered in the mud where it flowed from a gash on his forehead, and Vegeta growled, more at his own confusion than at the pain.

Goku sat bolt up right suddenly and looked around,

"Did it work?"

"Did what work, Kakkarot?"

"Y'know. The watches."

"No."

"You mean, they're not keeping time? Aww man, Bulma's going to be really upset when she hears that. Uh… speaking of which, where is she?"

"Never mind where _she_ is, I'd rather know where the hell _we_ are!"

"Why, where are we?"

"…" Vegeta said.

Goku picked himself up and dusted himself down, wiping as much dirt as he could from his _gi_. Looking around with a frown, noticing the crowd clustered around them.

"Hi!" He said, grinning cheerfully. Pitchforks and torches bobbed uncertainly, and several half-hearted jeers came from the back.

"Do any of you clowns know where we are?" Vegeta growled, a hand clamped to his forehead, blood seeping out between the fingers.

"The colonies, demon," a figure cried.

"The where?" Goku asked.

"The Americas, this here is the town of Salem," a female voice answered.

"Oh." Goku said. "I'd always heard America was a bit… different…"

Vegeta sniffed, and frowned. Something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong.

"Uh… Kakkarot…"

"Yes, Vegeta?"

"I don't think we're in the right time here…"

"I know, you said that the watches weren't keeping time…"

"Not like that, you clown!" Vegeta snarled. "I mean… I think this is the past."

"Really?"

Vegeta nodded, wiping blood out of his eyes.

"And I think it's doing something to our powers… I feel weaker than I ever have done before."

"That would be the holy light of the sun, foul demon of darkness!" the preacher cried, holding the Bible triumphantly before him.

Vegeta spat on the floor. "Be quiet, you!"

"That's no way to talk to these people, they're our hosts," Goku said calmly.

"If you haven't already noticed, Kakkarot, these _hosts_ are about to tear us limb from limb!" Vegeta answered testily.

"Aww c'mon, I'm sure they're just over-zealous. Right guys?"

The townsfolk looked at Goku with blank expressions.

"Uh… right… guys?" Goku tried again. Several of the eyes narrowed, and the uncertain bobbing of pitchforks starting bobbing very certainly towards him.

"You know, you people should really learn more about hospitality," Goku said, offended.

"Silence, foul creature!" The preacher cried.

"Who are you calling foul? I had a bath last night!" Goku said defensively.

"Be gone, demon of the dark abyss! Taint our lands no longer!"

"Uh, Vegeta… I think they're serious."

"You think?!" Vegeta roared, standing up. He briefly felt his strength rise, but it faded again just as quickly.

"Run away?" Goku suggested.

"Never! A Saiyan prince does not run!" Vegeta said.

Goku mused for a moment. "Well… what about a tactical pullback so we can watch our foe from a vantage point more beneficial to our situation?" he tried.

Vegeta's mouth opened and closed and his lips shaped silent words as he let the words roll about his mind. "That could work…" he said, eventually. Then, both coming to the same conclusion, the two Saiyans turned and fled down the alley.

"They're getting away!" one of the mob cried.

"After them!" another screeched.

With a roar, the mob surged forward into the alley, the poor priest being thrust along ahead of them, surfing the angry crowd or lynchers with a cry of terror. Ahead of him, the two Demons scrambled ahead, muscled arms and legs pounding, skirting around crates and rain barrels, but they were weakened in this daylight, the mob was catching up on them.

"This is all your fault, Kakarrot!" Vegeta panted. The gash on his forehead had stopped bleeding now, though dried blood stuck to his face.

"Mine?! How was it mine?!" Goku panted back.

"Shut up and keep running, fool!" Vegeta snapped. He had no desire to find out how weak he had become.

The two charged forwards sluggishly and dived around a corner, Vegeta's foot slipping out from under him in the mud, hitting the ground hard with a grunt.

"Vegeta!" Goku cried, skidding to a halt and doubling back to grab the fallen Prince, who lay on the ground.

"Stupid woman and her stupid inventions and these stupid insects with their stupid pitchforks and stupid torches…" Vegeta snarled. "Get your hands off my Kakarrot!"

Goku ignored the Prince, and hauled him to his feet. He was exhausted from the effort, and his breathes came in short, ragged bursts.

"I… can't… go on," he wheezed, clutching at an ache in his chest.

"We have to…" Vegeta said with a grimace.

"You aren't going anywhere, Spawn of the Pit!" the priest cried.

"Yeah, you're surrounded!" a member of the mob brayed. Goku and Vegeta turned and stodd back to back. At either end of the alley, the crowd was waiting for them.

"This is it, Kakkarot. Urgh, to think it'll end like this!" Vegeta said in disgust.

"Something will pull through, just you wait!" Goku said with fierce determination. "It always does!"

"For _you_ maybe. I usually end up dead!" Vegeta replied.

"Come to think of it… me too…"

"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way!" the mob shouted.

"If we do this the easy way, can we expect to get let off for good behaviour?" Goku asked, hopefully.

"No."

Vegeta spat into themud. "Fuck it, let's do this the _hard_ way!"

The crowd surged forward, and the Saiyans braced themselves.

** * ** * **

 "Where did they go?!" Bulma shouted. Turlus stood behind her, blinking at the space where they had stood then opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't you _dare_ say anything, buster!" Bulma said. Turlus' mouth closed immediately.

"I'm not getting any data from the computer," Tomatta said, looking through read-out after read-out.

"I can't sense them, either," Applor said, "What ever has happened, it's taken them somewhere were I can't sense their power." Goten and Trunks exchanged nervous glances.

"Well… this is just great!" Bulma fumed. "Now I'm never going to be able to test these watches out properly."

"But, what about the others?" Turlus said.

"They can take care of themselves!"

** * ** * **

Goku and Vegeta lay slumped in a stone cell, the Prince glowering at the wall, and Goku scratching the back of his head.

"What's going to happen to us, Vegeta?" Goku asked.

"Well, I'd say we're going to be hanged, or something." Vegeta rasped. His jaw ached from where somebody had struck him with a plank of wood.

"Is that good?" Goku asked.

"If we were full strength, yes. But since we're not, I doubt it."

"I don't want to die!" Goku wailed, then hesitated before adding: "Again."

"I would have thought you were used to it by now."

"I am, but still. Dying sucks."

"At least your deaths have been fairly easy. So far, I've been shot through the heart, and slowly vaporised. Twice."

"They were for good reasons though."

"That's not the point! The point is I do not wish to dangle at the end of a length of rope not being able to breath!"

"What if we held our breath and pretended to be dead?" Goku suggested.

"That is the most useless thing I've ever heard from you, Kakkarot." Vegeta answered. "But I'm all out of ideas, so it couldn't hurt to give it a try."

"Yes, it might just have worked," a voice said, "if it weren't for the fact that you are to be burnt at the stake."

Goku's stomach rumbled loudly.

"Kakkarot, can't you keep that bottomless pit of yours under control?!" Vegeta growled.

"I'm sorry, but I'm hungry, and somebody mention food…

"He said 'stake' not 'steak', baka!"

"… I don't get it…"

Vegeta sighed.

"Just hurry up and get it over and done with, worm," the Prince said testily. "I don't have time to sit here listening to the inane ramblings of you insects, or the constant babblings of this fool."

"With talk such as that, I could see to it that you are sprayed with holy water and left here for days."

"Days?!" Goku cried in alarm. "We'll starve! Please no, anything but that!"

"Silence Kakkarot!" Vegeta snapped, not taking his attention from the man standing in front of the iron bars that held them prisoner in the cell. Slowly he stood up, and stalked over to the cage. "If you dare to hold me here for days, when my strength returns, I'll make sure that I show you the brutality of the Saiyan Prince!"

"Yes, I'm sure that would impress the peasants, but not I. I am above them, both in station and in intellect. You do not frighten me, Demon. Just you sit there and wait, your time will come soon enough." The figure said and turned around, stalking off. Vegeta snarled and cupped his fingers. A spark of energy flared into his hand, and with a roar, he flung out his arm. The bolt sped through the bars, but the energy dwindled to nothing. The man turned around, and a slight ember of the energy, nothing more than a slight sparkle, fizzled against his overcoat.

"I-impossible!" Vegeta gasped.

"You see? You cannot harm us during the day," the man said with a smirk, then strode off.

"Kakkarot?"

"Yes, Vegeta?"

"I think we're screwed."

"Oh, I'm sure the others will realise what's happened, and they'll come rescue us. Remember that time Napa was about to kill Gohan, and I showed up and…"

Vegeta's eyebrow began to twitch. "Kakkarot?"

"Yes, Vegeta?"

"Shut up."

"Sorry, Vegeta."

And so our heroic duo wait it out… will they be burnt alive at the stake? Will they somehow manage a daring escape? What happened to the others who took part in Bulma's experiment? Find out, in Death Saiyan!


	13. Magical Mystery Tour

Disclaimer. "Father! The sleeper has awakened!! Father!!! Father…" *goes back to watching Dune* 

Chapter Thirteen – Magical Mystery Tour

Mirai slumped against the wall until he got his breath back. The journey had left him weakened and exhausted, but it wouldn't be long until the temporal field around his body re-aligned itself, Mirai hoped. It was all pretty theoretical stuff, even his mother couldn't figure it all out, and _she'd_ invented a fully working time machine! Well… his other mother had invented one too, but by accident. It must have been an accident, Mirai reasoned.

The half-Saiyan peered at the watch, and realised it had gone back several hours. _At least it keeps in synch with whatever time frame it's in…_ Mirai thought to himself, trying to see the good side to this mess.

Eventually, his body stopped shaking, and his breaths became more orderly. Pushing himself away from the wall, Mirai stretched his body and grunted as his joints and muscles flexed to more comfortable positions. "Ah man… I've never felt this stiff in all my life…" Shaking his head, long strands of lilac hair cascading about his face, to relieve the stiffness of his neck, Mirai stepped out from the alley in which he had landed, and out into the open street.

What he saw amazed him slightly. Old-style cars moved past quickly, but still slow compared to the vehicles he was used to. The cries of city life were all around him, and the smell was almost unreal. It smelt like damn rubbish that had been left there for days to rot, and the most disconcerting thing was that it drifted along the streets in a ruddy murk.

Walking down the street, Mirai looked around at his surroundings, and somewhere in the distance, a clock tower chimed eleven with low, mournful strokes.

"Hi, you're cute," a female voice said. Mirai, disturbed from his thoughts, looked up at a girl. Her hair curled at the end and she was wearing something that appeared to be more belt than skirt.  Her eyes were heavily coated in makeup and her eyelashes were thick enough to use as nails.

"Uh… thanks…" Mirai said, and continued on his way.

"My names Janet – what's yours?" the girl asked, following him.

"Trunks," Mirai said, absentmindedly.

"What an odd name, you're not from around here, are you?" the girl asked.

"No, I'm… on holiday." Mirai replied.

"Oooh, where are you from?"

"Oh, nowhere special…"

"I bet it's nicer than this bloody place," the girl chirped.

"Hmmm," Mirai mused.

"Who's your friend, Janet?" another female voice asked.

"His name's Trunks," Janet replied. A hand reached out and gripped Mirai by the arm, and he instinctively pulled away.

"Oooh, you should feel the bulge under that jacket," the second voice said.

"'Ere!" Janet said, sounding offended. "Hands off, this one's mine!"

"Well tough!" a third female voice crowed. "I wants 'im!"

"Shove off, you slag!" a fourth voice cried. Startled, Mirai turned around to see a multitude of women following him down the street.

They all stared into his baby-blue eyes.

They swooned and sighed deeply.

He turned around and ran as fast as he could down the street.

** * ** * **

Napa opened his eyes and groaned. Reaching up, he rubbed his throbbing forehead, and raised himself up into a sitting position. Then he patiently waited for the room to stop spinning. A small, fat man with a towel wrapped about his head was watching him, grinning a grin large enough to easily accommodate a bunch of bananas, and easily have enough room for the rest of the fruit bowl.

"Ah, you are awake, _effendi_!" the man said, somehow managing to grin even as he spoke.

"Urgh, yeah…" Napa grunted.

"Your are lucky to be alive, _effendi_! Yes, very lucky! Your water would have gone to the desert, had my men not discovered you!"

"The… desert?" the Saiyan asked.

The fat man frowned. "I fear _effendi_'_s_ blow to the bonce has left you several palm trees shy of an oasis."

"If "offendee" don't shut up, I'll give him a blow to the bonce that'll make sure he's several teeth short of a mouthful," Napa growled.

"Sorry, _effendi_,"

"Now, where am I?" the Saiyan demanded.

"You are in the palace of the Sultan Al-batross," the Sultan said, grinning still. "It is a great honour to have you here with us, _effendi_!"

"It is?" Napa asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yes! It is not very often we get such great warriors in the great desert!" The sultan explained, and Napa beamed at such words. "Such a pity we will have to execute _effendi_ at the end of his three days." Napa's expression dropped.

"Execute?"

"Yes, _effendi_."

"… As in… kill?"

"_Yes_, _effendi_," the Sultan said. "I fear the blow to the noggin was more severe than you thought, _effendi_," the sultan hissed to a figure near-by. Napa looked at the tall, skinny man standing to the left of the Sultan's cushions. He was very skinny, had a skinny moustache, a long, serious skinny face, cold eyes, and wore a turban with a spike appearing though the top. Napa, one of the most cold-blooded killers in the universe, a man who's only complaint about eating babies was that they were too lean and didn't have enough meat on them, looked into those eyes and felt his blood run cold.

"I am Al-hergy, Grad Vizier to the Sultan," the taller of the two men said with a bow. "I do hope you enjoy your three days with us. Make sure you sample all of our delights before we disembowel you and burn your intestines." 

Napa swallowed hard.

"Thanks…"

"Now, _effendi_ we eat!" the Sultan said cheerfully, clapping his hands together and rubbing the palms. Beautiful women appeared from side-passages, each bearing platters of steaming food. Steaming roast meats in succulent sauces, fruits, nuts, flat bread, cold meat cut into slices… Napa drooled from both the food and the waitresses, who lounged lingeringly about the room.

The Sultan pulled dates and dark meats onto a golden plate, added grapes ad other fruits as he saw fit, the large heavy jewelled golden rings clattering from the golden platters as he moved his hand this way and that.

"Come, eat, eat!" the Sultan said with a hearty laugh, stuffing a date into his mouth and biting into it. Napa couldn't take his eyes from the scantily clad women. Their clothes were made from silk and threaded gold lace; barely enough to cover the most intimate bits of their bodies. What wasn't covered was left to the imagination, and after all these years without, ahem, "female company", Napa was imagining quite a lot.

"I believe our guest is distracted by the servants, Sultan," the Grand Vizier said, not trying to conceal the humour in his voice.

"Yes, yes, and who would not, eh? Ha-ha!" The Sultan laughed.

"Yes, indeed. Ha. Ha." Al-hergy emulated the laugh, unconvincingly.

"You want to sample the quality of our women, _effendi_?" the Sultan asked with a sly smile. "You are my honoured guest in my humble home, and as such, whatever is mine, is yours!"

"You mean…" Napa started.

"Yes, _effendi_! If you see one you like, I'll make sure she finds her way to your apartments through the night!"

Napa licked his lips with a dry tongue. "What about… _all_ of them?"

The Sultan burst into great roars of laughter, and almost threatened to topple of his pillow. "That is what I like to see, _effendi_! A man who knows his own desires! Not like this old stick here," the Sultan said, slapping the Vizier jovially on the back. Al-hergy, not expecting this, staggered forwards a couple of paces and his turban slipped over his eyes.

"Indeed, your great rotundness. But, perhaps, we should leave the harem wenches for yourself? After all, we don't want any… accidents to happen." The Vizier suggested, slipping his turban back into place.

"Nonsense!" the Sultan cried. "My home is _effendi_'s home. My harem is _effendi_'s harem."

"As the Sultan commands."

"Now, _effendi_, eat! You will be in need of all the energy you can muster tonight! These women are not only trained to be carriers of food!" The Sultan winked at Napa, and roared with laughter once more, before returning to enjoy his food. Napa thought about all this, and started to eat from the golden dishes of food.

This didn't seem so bad, Napa thought. Execution aside – all this food, all these women, it was perfect. The execution could easily be set aside. He could kill the executioners, for a start. His strength was _sure_ to return after he'd eaten. Napa hesitated as an unpleasant though struck him. _Na, it'll be fine._

** * ** * **

Mirai ducked into an alleyway, his jacketed chest heaving as he gasped for air. He wiped the sweat his brow and brushed sweat-lank hair from his eyes.

"Why me…" he groaned, thinking back to the first and, so far _only_, gig they had played, at the Orange Star High School. The pawing hands, the ripping fingernails, the pouting lips…

Mirai wallowed hard and suppressed a whimper before daring to look around the corner. He turned his head this way and that, and when he was sure the coast was clear, he quietly snuck out into the street.

He had almost made to the top, when a shriek pierced the air.

"There he is!" a vaguely feminine voice cried. "Don't let him get away!"

Turning back with horror, Mirai saw a multitude of screaming girls stampeding towards. With a cry of horror, the half-Saiyan forced his legs into overdrive and he charged onwards. Turning the corner, his legs pounded as hard as they could carry him, sending him surging down the lane and around another corner. He slammed his back against the wall and stood flat against the brickwork, breathing heavily.

"I think… I lost… them," he gasped between breaths.

"I think he went down this way!" another girl's voice shouted from close by.

"_Argh! _" Mirai shrieked and sped off again.

"Don't run away, we won't hurt you!" Cried one of the screaming girls.

"I don't wanna die!" Mirai sobbed, lunging an arm out and swimming around a corner. Four men in grey suits stood idly at the corner, chatting amongst themselves. They had mop-haircuts and spoke in strong Scouse accents, and as Mirai belted around the corner they all looked at him.

"Hey, like the hair-do," one of the said. He had a big nose.

"You have to save me!" Mirai screamed.

"Save you? What for? You look fine to us," another said.

"Girls! Lots of girls!" Mirai gasped, letting his body sag. He gripped his knees for support and gulped down air.

"Did he say… girls?"  the big-nosed one asked, sounding worried.

"I think he did, Ringo," said a third.

"Were they screaming by any chance?" the fourth asked.

"Yeah…"

"He said they were screaming, John," the third one said again.

"I heard, Paul. What do you think we should do?" the second answered.

"I dunno, what do you think we should do, Ringo?"

"Scarper," the one addressed as Ringo replied. "Very quickly, in a direction that doesn't go in that direction."

"Why, what's in that direction?" the fourth member asked. Ringo pointed in the direction Mirai had just come from.

"You don't want to know, George. You _really_ don't want to know."

On cue, Mirai and the three others turned around. Stalking carefully around the corner came The Girls. As one, they paused, and looked up at the five.

They blinked.

The five blinked back. 

The Girls gasped and flung hands over their mouths.

The five cringed.

The Girls shrieked in pure delight.

The five shrieked in absolute horror.

The Girls started to pour forward like an avalanche.

Four grabbed a startled Mirai, and ran like hell.

They turned around various corners, Mirai held between them like a ladder, rigid from terror. All that could be heard were the shrieks, and the occasional "Oh my god! Did you see who he was with? _OH MY GOD_!"

"You alright, kid?" John asked as they pelted down street after street.

"B-b-b..." Mirai replied.

"It could be worse, y'know." Ringo said.

"How could this possibly get any worse?" George panted, gripping onto Mirai's feet for dear life. If they dropped him now, they would never have time to turn back pick him up. He would have to be left as a martyr for the cause.

"They could be trying to kill us."

"They _are_ trying to kill us," John gasped. "They'll just be doing it very nicely, and there's no way we'll be able to object."

"Yes we will," Paul said. "You just say 'I object.'"

"Well you may well be able to do that," John replied. "But I was brought up never to speak with your mouth full."

"That's alright, I'll object for you."

"You're a great pal, Ringo."

"Cheers."

"Now, be a pal and lead us out of bloody' London."

** * ** * **

Bulma and Tomatta scurried about the lab-room franticly, looking through notes, leafing through pieces of paper, sending pieces of equipment flying in a desperate attempt to find out _what the hell went wrong_!

"Maybe they were just _too_ good," Trunks said, fidgeting nervously.

"Yeah… maybe they were _so _accurate_, _that they accidentally froze them in time, or something." Goten said.

"If they were frozen in time, Goten, we'd be able to see them."

"Nuh-uh!" Goten piped. "If they were frozen _in_ time… then they would be frozen when they put the watches on, so they wouldn't be _in_ time anymore, which means they'd be trapped at the point when they put the watches on. Gee Trunks, I thought you were smart."

Trunks looked at Goten, and then looked over at his mother. "Mom, tell him he's wrong!"

"He's right, honey," Bulma said, typing at the keyboard ferociously. Trunks' jaw fell open and he turned back to Goten, who was beaming with pride.

"Well… well… well…"

Gohan burst into the room, and held a tape aloft in his hand. "I know what happened," he said solemnly, casting a meaningful glance to Goten and Trunks.

"What?" Bulma said, turning around in her seat. Tomatta paused what he was doing and looked at his cousin.

"I said: I know what went wrong. I don't think it was anything you or Tomatta or Trunks did, or at the very most least, it's not _all_ your fault." Gohan turned to the kids and smiled mirthlessly. "Isn't that right, you two?"

"Uh… gee, is that the time? We really must be…"

A silver flash blinded them, and they felt something heavy slam against their chests, pinning them to the wall. When their sight returned moments later, they saw Gohan shrouded in a silvery aura, two points of dazzling silver light burning through the brilliant energy where Gohan's eyes would be.

"Tell us what you did, _now_," he said.

** * ** * **

Napa watched with gleaming eyes as she caressed and manipulated. Her fingers ran smoothly over its length, and she spread on the oil with a delicate caress.

"Mmmm, yeah. That's right, do it slowly." Napa purred, not taking his eyes from the scene for a moment.

"As you command, my master," she replied demurely, coyly licking her finger and moaning in pleasure. It was sending Napa wild with desire - he had to have it!

"Do you want more of the same, or a little extra?" another voice whispered into his ear. Napa hesitated. What he was seeing was good… but he wanted more!

"No, try something else now…" he said. His mouth was dry, despite it salivating constantly at what he saw before him.

"It's so big… are you sure you can take it?" one of the girls said.

"Yeah, that and a whole lot more," Napa replied. "Ooooh, a little more of that. Yeah, that's it."

"Do you like it like this?" the first girl asked.

"Yeah, just like Momma used to do it," Napa said, swallowing hard.

"As you say, my lord," the second girl said. Her fingers were long, and they did their job expertly.

"It's been so long since somebody called me that…" Napa said with a sigh.

"Tsk tsk," the first girl said. "People can be so disrespectful."

"Yeah! I used to command one of the greatest armies ever known! And to think I was beaten by a lowly peasant…"

"I'm sure master wasn't beaten. Not with such big muscles," the first girl responded, laying on another layer over the surface expertly.

"Beaten and killed, but now I'm back from the dead and stronger than ever before," Napa said, proudly.

"Mmmm, my lord likes this, doesn't he…" the second girl said.

"Oh yeah… I can't wait to taste it."

"Almost ready, My Lord," she said.

"I hope so… I can't stand the teasing much longer."

"It's so moist, and subtle. And the scent… mmm, delicious."

"I… can't… take… it…"

"Not long now, My Lord," the first girl teased, holding her fingers to his nose, letting him breath the scent in deeply.

"_I can't stand it any longer!_" Napa cried. He lunged forward with both hands, the girls giggling as he reached past them, taking the flat-bread sandwich tat they'd been painstakingly preparing for him, teasingly sliding the toppings on, playing with the sauces and the various spiced butters.

Napa moaned, absorbed in the bliss of the taste, as he chewed the Middle-eastern hoagie without restraint. This was heaven – he hadn't felt so good since the golden days of Planet Vegeta.

"Luxury," the General said, his mouthful, morsels of spiced meats spraying across the room. "You may leave us now."

The girls exchanged glances at each other, and then slinked out of the apartment, leaving Napa with the flatbreads, the sandwich fillings, and his appetite.

"He eats more than the Sultan!" the first girl hissed as they trotted down the hall.

"But, I suspect, he bathes less! He smells worse than a camel at the height of summer!"

Things are starting to go awry! What exactly did Trunks and Goten do? Will Napa find a way to escape execution, and will Mirai Trunks escape the horde or girls chasing him? Perhaps, with a little help from his friends. Find out more, next time, on Death Saiyan!


	14. I Wanna Have A Mohawk But ChiChi Won't L...

Chapter 14 – I Wanna Have A Mohawk… But Chi-Chi Won't Let Me 

(Disclaimer: I don't own DB. I don't own DBZ. I also don't own DB:GT. However, I _do_ own several of the DBZ manga volumes, and several badly dubbed movies shudders . Anyway, on with the story…)

Raditz appeared with a blue flash of light, and a soft thump as he hit the cold stone floor. The conversation around him stopped as the large warrior appeared out of thin air in the middle of a busy barber's shop.

"What the hell was that!" the head barber cried, the sharp blade of his razor biting into the jaw of his customer.

"Ai!" the customer shouted, clasping his hand over the cut. "Watch what you're doing with that thing!"

"Sorry senior," the barber apologised, wetting a towel and dabbing at the wound. "on the house, how's that, ay?"

"Hmmm, I suppose."

"Hey boss, what about this big guy?" one of the other barbers asked, gesturing to Raditz with one of his sheers.

"Him? My-my… he certainly has a lot of hair…" the barber said, his eyes glazing over.

"Yes… long, thick black hair…" one of the assistants added.

"Think he'll mind if we cut it for him?" a third asked.

"What do you think, Dente?" the lead barber asked. "Dente?"

"Has anybody seen Dente?" one of the others asked, looking at the faces in the shop.

There were a chorus of "no"s and "nuh-uh"s, before one of the assisstant barbers spoke up.

"Say… isn't that big guy wearing Dente's clothes?"

"Can't be… Dente was only a small fellow."

"Look! That's his neckerchief!" the assistant persersted.

"Well blow me, it is as well!" the head barber said, peering closer. "So is this big guy Dente?"

"He can't be! Look at the size of his muscles! Dente was never that big."

"Maybe he made a wish?" one of the assistants suggested.

"What, he wished for muscles bigger than a bull's?"

"Well, he _was_ a little guy."

"Look, are we going to stand around here all day and gossip like a bunch of maids, or are we going to gut some damned hair like the barbers of Seville that we are!" the Head Barber demanded.

"Let's cut some hair!"

"Some long black hair!"

"YEAH!"

"Right on!"

"Keep the hell away from me!" Raditz cried, shuffling backwards.

"When did _he_ wake up!" the Head Barber asked, startled.

"Never mind about when I woke up, where the hell's Seville?"

"Oh come-on, Dente. Stop goofing on."

"I'm not dente! I'm Raditz!"

"A radish? Stop playing about and let us give you a hair cut."

"Not radish, Raditz. RAD-ITZ," the Saiyan said slowly.

"Whatever Dente, we're not falling for it, you know. Now just stay there like a good chap and let me have a look at that hair."

"No! Keep away from me you crazy Spic!"

"Now look! There's no need for that!" the Head Barber said, looking offended.

"I'm getting the hell out of here!" Raditz said, picking himself up off the floor and running out of the door. Well, technically, that isn't quite accurate. Raditz picked himself up off the floor, that's true. But then what happened was he ran at the door expecting it to become a mass of small splinters as his body tore it apart. What he _didn't_ expect was to rebound off with enough force to cause him to see little flashing lights in front of his eyes.

"Uh…" one of the customers started, "the door opens inwards, Senior."

* * *

Gohan and Bulma looked down at the man lying unconscious on the floor, and Goten and Trunks took good use of this distraction to quietly sneak out the lab.

"Who the hell is that?" Turlus asked, pointing a finger at the guy.

"I… have no idea…" Gohan said.

"He just appeared out of thin air," Turlus said.

"We noticed that."

"Just like the others vanished into thin air."

"We noticed that too," Bulma said.

"_Exactly_ like the way the others vanished," Turlus added patiently.

"And?" Bulma asked, getting frustrated.

"I thought you were supposed to be the intelligent one?" Turlus said with a smirk. Bulma and Gohan both shuddered to see such an expression on a face that looked so much like Goku's. "Look. Obviously somebody is displacing the time of this individual, so the timeline is dumping him here. Haven't you guys ever seen 'Quantum Leap?'" More blank looks. "Heathens."

"Well, if what Turlus is saying turns out to be… accurate… this means that all we have to do is find out where this one is from and we can get one of the guys back!" Gohan said excitedly.

"But which one? There are several I'd rather leave back there."

"But what about the timeline!" Gohan asked, horrified.

"Relax, nothing will happen here. Trunks already proved that with the androids."

"Hmm. I'm just not too keen on leaving a Saiyan in the past. Any past."

Bulma sighed and threw her hands into the air. "Fine! We'll bring back the bald one!"

"Que?" asked Dente, who had woken up quite obliviously to the arguing Saiyans and woman.

"Oh, hello!" Gohan said cheerfully, extending a hand. "Welcome to the future."

"Excuse me?" Dente said in Spanish.

"Huh?"Turlus said in Japanese.

"Don't look at me, I don't speak… whatever it is he's speaking." Gohan replied.

Dente looked at the three of them and creamed in Spanish. Bulma looked back at him and screamed in Japanese.

"CALM DOWN!" screamed Turlus. Then Dente legged it.

* * *

Raditz stirred out of unconsciousness and fidgeted on the reclined barber's chair, stretching some of his smaller muscles, before rearing back and giving his entire body a great stretch to wake him up.

"Man, I just had the craziest dream…" he murmured to himself.

"Se, senor?" asked a barber. Raditzed opened an eye and peered at the cluster of heads above him and groaned.

"It wasn't a dream after all…" the Saiyan said with a sigh. Resigned to his fate, Raditz picked himself up off the floor and looked about at the others in the room. It was quite small, and the only light came in through a small window high on the wall near the door. Three barbers stood around him, and two customers looked curiously from their chairs, some mid-shave.

"Are you alright, senor?" asked one of the barbers.

"Yeah, just fine, considering." Raditz replied gruffly.

"Se, you hit that door running pretty fast. We thought maybe we would have had to send for the doctor."

Raditz looked wearily at the barbers. "I don't need any idiot doctors… in fact, I feel much better. I think I'll leave peacefully…"

"Don't you want a haircut first, senior?" Asked one of the Sevillians.

"No thank-you," Raditz answered, backing towards the door.

"Are you _sure_?" asked another barber as the trio pressed forward slowly around the Saiyan.

"Quite sure!" Raditz growled, then felt his broad shoulders thump off the wooden door. It didn't feel very strong, and he shouldn't have had any trouble barrelling through it. Raditz gave it an experimental shove, which hurt.

"But such… long… thick hair…" the first barber said, his eyes glazing over as they moved up and down the large Siayans hairy features.

"Keep away from me you freaks!" Raditz cried, scrabbling for the door handle.

"WE NEED TO CUT YOUR HAIR! AIIIIIEEEEEE!" cried the barbers together and pounced at Raditz, who closed his eyes and braced himself for the attack behind large arms. Then vanished with a blue flash to be replaced by a running Dente. After a brief scuffle and several large glasses of gin to calm Dente's nerves, the four never spoke of the event ever again…

* * *

"…" said Turlus, looking down at what appeared to be a man-shaped tin can.

"Is it some sort of robot?" asked Tomatta, wrapping his knuckles off the lid.

"It's a suit of armour," Gohan said looking at the pile of metal.

"Doesn't look very comfortable to me," Turlus said, looking at his own armour.

"Or very practical," Tomatta seconded, matter-of-factly pushing his finger through the breastplate.

It groaned.

Everybody leapt back, Turlus readying a kai-bolt in his hand.

"Don't shoot!" cried Bulma, running between the armour and the Saiyan. "You might blow up the lab!"

"And the knight," Gohan added.

"Oh yeah, there's him too," Bulma conceded as an afterthought.

"Wow! A real-life knight in shining armour!" cried a voice from the doorway.

"Doesn't look very shiny to _me_, Goten," said Trunks as the pair of them walked towards the group of adults. "Looks kinda tarnished actually."

"Yeah? So? Have you any _better_ examples of a shining armoured knight?"

"Uh…"

"Hah! NYER!" Goten cried, triumphantly sticking his tongue out at Trunks.

"Never mind who he is, where the hell did he come from?" Bulma demanded. "One moment the spaniard is running off, the next he vanishes, the _next_ this… this… _person_-"

"Knight in shining armour." Corrected Goten.

" - appears where he was standing." Finished Bulma, ignoring Goten. "What on earth is going on!"

"Quantum Leap," muttered Turlus. They all looked at him. "What!"

* * *

Raditz awoke (again) with a groan (_again_) and looked around. He was lying on what appeared to be a table. It was a particularily impressive table, and was large enough to hold a considerable feast for upto twenty individuals It was also round. At the moment it held, apart from one quite confused and bewildered Saiyan, twenty swords, pointed in towards the centre of the table. Where lay Raditz. Behind the hilt of each of all but one of the twenty large swords sat nineteen large men wearing large bulky metal suits. They didn't appear to look very pleased. In his right hand, Raditz noticed, was the twentieth sword. It looked razor sharp and was quite heavy.

"What the hell is _this_!" one of them asked.

"Merlin! Somebody fetch Merlin!" another voice shouted out. Still feeling groggy, Raditz looked up at a man wearing gold-inlayed armour. There was a crown atop his brow, and in his hand rested a sword, glowing with a feint aura of power.

"My Lord, look how much hair he hath!" A voice shouted.

"Tis veribly a fine amount of hair, whould not thee say, Lancelot?" spoke a knight.

"Indeed! It makes thine hair appear short, Radaghast." Lancelot replied with a smirk.

"Take thine arse and swivel, Lancelot du _Prat_" Radaghast replied, flicking Lancelot the bird.

"Dost thee want a quarrel of thine insult!" Lamcet shouted, jumping to his feet and snachting his sword from the table.

"Indeed I doth!" Radaghast cried.

"Damsels, damsels!" King Arthur, said smoothly. "Why must thee always bicker amongst thineselves like a bunch of auld grannies? We foth hath more important matter at hand."

"Mordred?"

"No."

"Dragons?"

"Um… no."

"The holy grail?"

"Definitely not! Ye knowest what happened the laste time we searched for that!"

They all winced at the unpleasant memories.

"I'm never going to look at another chicken ever again…" Percival moaned.

"Then what is it O'King?" asked Lancelot.

"T'is shearing time!" Arthur cried joyfully, pulling a pair of over-large scissors seemingly out of nowhere. The rest of the knights around the round table cheered also, each of them brandishing their own pairs of scissors and all, apart from Lancelot who had already leapt to his feet, leapt to their feet.

Raditz moaned. "Oh no… not again…" and ran. The knights cheered again and gave chase. The Saiyan bolted out of the table-room and out the nearest open door, into a flag-lined corridor that stretched away several yards. A loud clattering noise was following, and when Raditz looked back, the most astounding sight greeted him. All the knights, lead by King Arthur, were all running after him, though their gait was impeded by the armour. So he was being pursued in a sort of lurching waddle; they made up for their lack of speed with pure determination, and they were slowly but surely gaining. Panicking, Raditz ducked through another door and found himself in a small room filled with un-used furniture and large ornaments, and only one other exit. Thinking quickly, Raditz pushed as much heavy furniture against the doorway as he could and bolted out of the room through the other door.

He was back in the table room.

"Shit…" Raditz murmured and ran towards the door when he heard the clattering stop and the rattle of a door handle.

"He hath barred the door!" After a few shouts of "HEAVE!" (_Clatter-thump_!) "HO!" (_Clatter-thump_!) "HEAVE!" (_Clatter-thump_!) "HO!" (_Clatter-thump_!) another voice cried "The only way out of yonder cupboard is into the Roundroom!"

"Back to the table!" cried King Arthur,

"HOORAY!" Cheered the knights, and the ponderous clattering of their running was soon heard again. Raditz looked around desperately and found nowhere to hide. The room was dominated by the large, round table…

Raditz blinked. That was it! The table! He dived under it and scooted all the way into the middle, and prayed to any gods who might be listening.

The clattering grew louder and louder until eventually he saw twelve pairs of feet round the corner and pour into the room with a loud (you guessed it) clatter. The all milled about the room for a while, then split up and wandered the room. A pair of feet stopped directly in front of him and Raditz bit back a whimper, hoping the knights wouldn't think of such a childish manoeuvre as hiding under the table.

"Where hath he gone?" asked the King, scarcthing his head.

"Truly, he hath vanished!" cried one of the other knights. And verily twas I looking forward to a shearing!"

"Aye! Has been an age since we hath a sheering." Said another. A loud laugh pierced the room. Raditz scuttled around under the table to turn and face a thirteenth pair of feet obscured by a grey robe.

"Merlin!" Cried Arthur with joy, and stepped towards him.

"Arthur, Arthur," Merlin said soothingly. "What have I always told you, m'boy?"

Arthur paused. "Don't toucht hat, you'll go blind?"

"Er… yes…"

"My brains will fall out if I keep picking my…"

"Indeed."

"That's where things come out so stop putting things back up that w…"

"Yes, I do say that quite often. Quite a bit more often since Lancelot has arrived…"

"Don't dothat in public."

Merlin sighed. "You're quite right, I do. But what I mena right now is: 'Arthur, stop acting like a bloody child!' But in these circumstances, I would ask that you ignore my advice this once."

Arthur gave Merlin a puzzled look. "You've never said that to me."

Merlin hesitated. "I did."

"You never."

"I did too!"

"Did not!"

"Well If I didn't then I had aught to!"

"Fine!"

"_Just look under the sodding table!_" Merlin screamed.

"Shit!" Raditz cried, and scurried forward as fast as he could. Merlin laughed again, then noticed that this rather large, muscle-bound figure was heading straight towards the nearest available exit. Which Merlin was standing in the way of.

"He's getting away!" Cried Radaghast, and the ominous clanking sounded again.

"Scissors at the ready!" a knight cried.

"AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!" Raditz bellowed as he charged towards the door, barging Merlin out of the way with a shrill cry and a lot of loud curses. He had just made it through the doorway when a gauntleted hand grabbed him by the shoulder. Raditz open his mouth to yell something, when that now familiar blue aura enveloped him. He vanished, and was replaced by another knight.

* * *

Bulma and the Saiyans stared into empty space.

"He vanished… again!"

"Well I understand now why people call you genius." Turlus said with a nod.

"Be quiet, you!" Bulma snarled, hefting a large piece of equipment.

"Or what, you'll irritate me to death?" Turlus asked, smugly turning his back on the irate technical wonder. Gohan, Tomatta, Goten and Trunks all backed away slowly. Moments later, a loud clang permiated the air around Capsule Corporation headquarters, and Turlus slumped to the floor, his eyes crossed over and a large lump protruding out of his black mass of spikey hair.

Bulma twirled the frying pan in her hand by the handle and smirked. "Saiyan-proof metal forged into a non-stick frying pan used to cook last night supper. The only thing that can rival Chi-Chi's Pan O'Doom." Goten and Gohan shuddered; just mentioning the pan had brought back painful memories.

"Where do all these people keep vanishing to!" Bulma cried, exasperated. She slung the frying pan down onto a near-by workbench (the 'clang' the pan made when it struck the hard surface making Gohan and Goten flinch out of nervous habit) and started to pace up and down. After a few laps of the room, Turlus rolled over onto his side, murmured something inaudible, and started to snore. Bulma kicked him heavily on her way passed.

Suddenly, Bulma stopped, her eyes lighting up as she got an idea. A second later, a naked man fell on her.

* * *

Raditz opened his eyes. He was sat ata long table, and several hard-faced men were staring at him. He felt uncomfortable, like he was being squeezed. Looking down at himself, he noticed that he was wearing a tight grey-blue uniform that had split at the seems of the shoulders and along the inner thigh; other than the rips, the uniform was identical to that of every man sa there, other than one shallow-faced bespectacled bald man who was wearing a black variation.

"Whatup?" Raditz asked uncertainly.

"What is… this!" the man at the end of the table roared. He was skinnier than the rest, his hair lop-sided and slick, and a small impertinent moustache sat on his upper lip.

"I do not know, Heir Hitler, but he has a _lot_ of hair…"

Everybody in the room's eyes glazed over, and they all got that specific look. Raditz groaned; any minute now they're going to pull shearing scissors out of _somewhere_ and try and cut his hair.

"Yes… yes he does have a lot of hair…" Hitler replied. He reached into a back pocket and produced, Raditz swallow, a set of electric clippers. Raditz screamed: they were going to take off _all_ of his hair.

"I don't want to be a skin head!" he shrieked and leapt onto the table. Running along it as fast as he could, he jumped into the air. Everybody's faces rose up as they all watched him. Then they winced as he planted a foot square in Hitler's face and used the leverage to spring up and away towards a high-placed window.

"MEIN GOTT!" shrieked Hitler clutching at his face. "THAT HURT YOU PIGDOG!" But Raditz was already hauling himself through the window.

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE! GET AFTER HIM, YOU WEASELS!"

The entire Third Reich, lead by an angry Adolf Hitler with a bootmark on his face, stormed out of their conference room deep in the Reichstag up into the courtyard. They were just in time to see a large figure scurrying away into the shadows of one of the building.

"CHARGE!" Hitler cried, and off they went.

* * *

Bulma looked down at the member of the Reichstag that was sprawled across the workstation. He was large, had chisled features with blonde hair and blue eyes, and wearing a dark grey-blue uniform with a black cap which bore an insignia.

"Hey, that's one of those guys we blew up!" Goten said with a grin.

"Which guys?" Bulma asked.

"You remember when all the dead came back to life?" Trunks promted.

"Yeah?" said Bulma.

"Well, this guy was part of the army me and Goten busted up. He was right at the front with the weird dude with the moustache." Trunks explained. Gohan looked at him critically.

"Are you telling me," he began, "that you fought the nazi army led by Hitler himself?"

"Uh… I guess so," Trunks said.

"I dunno," shrugged Goten. "But all I know is it was fun!"

Bulma sighed and kicked the unconscious German in the side. "Well, at least we know when one of them is now. So that leaves the question, who goes back there to get him?"

"Not me!" cried Turlus. "I'm unhappy enough as it is _here_! I don't want to get stuck in some backwater history of this dirt ball!"

Bulma turned her eyes on him and smiled evilly. "Oh is that so, mister almighty Saiyan! Planet Earth not good enough for you, is it? To let you know, the Earth is the greatest place in the universe, buster! So if you want to continue living here, under my roof, eating _my _food, you'd better change that attitude of yours!"

"Yes'm!" Turlus whimpered.

"And to start with," Bulma shouted, pushing ever closer to Turlus until she had her finger jabbing into his chest, "you can bloody well go back in time and _find my husband_!"

"But… but…"

"But _what_!" Bulma screamed.

"How do I findthem?"

"… good question," Bulma said, her eyes widening from the viscious slits they had been, as she let her mind tackle this new problem. "Well, I suppose I'd better make one of those watches for you."

"Right, let's get to it then!" Tomatta said, hauling the nazi off the bench and tossing him aside, hitting the wall with a soft thud. The nazi slid to the floor, and soon began snoring as Bulma and Tomatta began making a new watch.

* * *

"This is getting ridiculous…" Raditz panted as he hurried away. He moved randomly between the buildings, ducking into shadows and hiding in doorways until it was clear to leave. A larger, ornate doorway loomed ahead of him now, filled with deep shadows, and he ducked through into a busy foyer bustling with people. They all stopped and stared at him, making Raditz cringe, and then saluted.

"HEIL!" they all cried. Raditz was at a loss what to do.

"Um… just… move along, folks," he tried. The crowd looked at each other questioningly. "Now!" Raditz yelled. The crowd fled back to what had previously occupied them, just as the sound of perfectly synchronised running feet shot past the door.

"HE MUST BE HERE SOMEWHERE!" Raditz heard that voice cry. "KEEP LOOKING!"

"Does he _ever_ stop shouting…" Raditz murmured to himself, then began to count under his breath After he reached five, he risked peeking out of the door, and saw nothing but an empty street. He quickly bolted, heading away at random until he found another handy pace to hide for a short while.

"THERE HE IS! AFTER HIM! GET HIM!"

"Oh fuck this!" Raditz snarled and turned to confront them. Several soldiers charged forward and Raditz automatically dropped into a fighting stance. The first soldier raised the butt of his rifle and smashed it towards Raditz' head, but the Saiyan moved aside and swung his knee up and into the nazi groin. The soldier dropped to his knees making little squeeking noises. With a smirk, Raditz turned to the others.

"Who's next?"

The crowd parted, and a big burly German stepped through.

"Ya! I am Hans! And I will crush you!" the big Nazi said, stepping forward and blotting out the sunlight.

"Oh good grief…"

* * *

"There! That's it!" Bulma cried triumphantly, handing Turlus the finished watch. "Here, test this out!" Turlus held the thing gingerly, and carefully strapped it to his wrist, then looked at it this way and that.

"It's pink…" he said lamely.

"It's the only one the market vendor had left! Now stop moaning and press the button!"

Turlus lifted a finger, and carefully guided it towards the small red button on the watch's side. He paused, and looked up towards the others. Their eyes were glued to him, and Gohan nodded encouragement. Taking a deep breath, Turlus jabbed the button with his finger. There was a slight electronic whine from the watch, and then:

"The time is eight-thirty-two pee em," rasped an electronic voice.

"Uh…" Turlus said, looking at the watch. He pressed the button again.

"The time is eight-thirty-two pee em."

"Bulma…?" Turlus asked, looking up at her.

"I… I don't understand it! We made the watches exactly as we did before! It _should_ have worked!"

"Um… not exactly miss Bulma…" Goten said, tapping his fingertips together guiltily.

"Goten, you dummy!" Trunks hissed.

"Boys… just _what_ exactly where you doing in here?" Bulma asked, smiling deceptively sweetly.

"Well… we just-"

"_Shutupshutupshutup!_" Trunks hissed again.

"- we just kinda tinkered with the watches a little bit…" Goten went on.

"A little bit?" Bulma narrowed her eyes at the pair of them.

"Yeah…" Goten reached into his pocket and produced several compents. "We took these out. We just thought it would make the watches not work! We didn't know we would send our dads back through time! Honest! Please don't withhold supper from us!" Goten was nearly in tears.

Bulma looked at the components Goten was holding. They were the chronoic-stabbelisers. But all they did was align the watch with local time… didn't they?

"Oh no…"

"What's wrong, Bulma?" Gohan asked.

"I think I know what's happened. The watches work by detecting the space/time fold we encounter, right? Well, those are the components that keep the watch localised to that specific fold. Without them, I think the watches have grasped a strand at random, and sucked themselves into it. The boys with them."

"So… how do we find them?" Turlus asked, looking at his pink watch.

"Oh that's easy," she said with a wink. "Now I understand what's happened, I can make a tracking device to find them."

"You can do that?" Turlus asked.

"I sure can! Hey, I invented the dragon radar remember!" And with that, she cleared a space at a work bench and got straight to work.

* * *

Will Bulma be able to create her device? Will Raditz ever escape with his hair intact? And will the Saiyans make it home to their own timeline? Find out, in _DEATH SAIYAN!

* * *

_

**AN** Heya! Sorry fans and fansettes. I have no excuse for not updating DS for a while, and I apologise profusely for my absence. However, the lack of an internet connection didn't exactly help matters and I had a major case of block for this chapter. I knew what I wanted to happen, I just wasn't sure how to bridge the sequences or how to word them. But, this new chapter is posted and I'll _try_ to update once a week, or once every two weeks (work/fiancée permitting).

Hope you are all well, and I'm glad you are enjoying this story.

Ja ne!


	15. Time Prowler

Chapter 15 – Time Prowler

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Please leave me alone to enjoy my sammich.

* * *

Turlus looked at the pink watch that had been once again attached to his wrist after having it's stabiliser removed, and then looked at the round device that Bulma was offering him.

"Are you sure that thing's safe?" Turlus asked.

"As far as I can tell, yes." Bulma said. Turlus took a deep breath, and accepted the device. It was a modified Dragon-radar, but instead of tracing the draconian radiation the balls emitted, they homed in on fields of temporal displacement that surrounded any person removed from his own timeline. Bulma had even modified it with spare components from the watches so that it tracked through time as well as space.

Turlus moved his thumb over the radar's button and held it there dramatically. "Here goes nothin'" he said, and thumbed it. The radar bleeped as it activated, and several dots appeared. "Hey, it's worked. Now, how do I teleport there?"

"Connect the watch up to the radar and click the red watch button." Bulma explained, handing Turlus a cable which connected to specially-built ports on both pieces of hardware.

"And how do I get back?" Turlus asked.

"There's a second black button on the watches. It used to be the 'mode' button, but now it's your return switch. It's calibrated to Trunks' time machine, and will teleport you back here."

"And… the others?" Turlus asked.

"Here," Bulma tossed a small satchel to Turlus.

"What's these?" the Saiyan asked peering in. Several small broaches looked back at him.

"Anybody wearing one of those will go through time with you," explained Tomatta. "They're the same as the watches, except without the timer and a receiver instead of a button."

"And the red button on my watch is the transmitter?"

"Bingo!" Bulma said. "Now quit standing there and go get my husband!"

"And my dad!" Goten shouted.

"Alright, alright. Now… what do I get paid again…?"

"You get to live," Bulma said, smiling politely. Turlus swallowed hard.

"Sounds good to me. So I just press the button, right?"

"Right."

"Got it." Turlus pressed the button. "Oh wait, how do I choo..."

He vanished.

* * *

A blue flash dumped Turlus onto a muddy field. Picking himself up, the Saiyan warrior shook the stars from his eyes and looked around. The place looked primitive. The buildings were old-looking and the technology appeared crude.

"Earthlings…" Turlus muttered to himself. A bleep from the radar made him look down; two blips were flashing red. "Two of them? In one go? Damn I'm good!" Turlus followed the direction the Radar was indicating and he turned a corner. In front of him was a large crowd, and at the centre there was what appeared to be a large pile of wood with two posts erected in the middle. The crowd was braying and cheering, waving pitchforks into the air and jeering at something that was happening at the front. Turlus looked around to see if anybody was watching, and floated up into the air.

Three figures were at the centre of the throng, and were obviously the crowd's attention. One was shouting, but Turlus couldn't make out what was being said. Something caught Turlus' eye, and he squinted down at the figures; their profiles were strikingly familiar, especially the hair. He checked the radar, and without a doubt, these were the two he was looking for. But… what was going on? Turlus floated closer to listen in.

"..have captured these evil minions of the devil! We must cleans them by holy fire!" the third figure was shouting.

"Oh, sure, _cleanse_ us, you prat!" the smaller one said.

"Vegeta!" Turlus cried out in shock.

"Hey, Vegie, what's so holy about fire? Sure it's pretty, but y'know, I wouldn't worship it or anything."

"Kakkarot!"

"Obviously these primitives have deified the magical hot stuff because they are too stupid to comprehend what it is."

"Silence you fiends!" the third figure shouted.

"Or you'll what!" Vegeta cried.

"Or I'll inflict great harm upon you!"

"Greater than being burned alive, you mean?"

"Uh…"

"Hah! Keep your petty little views to yourself, worm!" Vegeta scoffed and turned his back on the man.

"I'm sorry about my friend. He can be a real grumpygoose if he doesn't have his coffee in the morning."

"Kakkarot, hold your mouth!" Vegeta screamed.

"See?"

"I'm grumpy because I'm about to be set on fire, you fool!"

"Enough, both of you, or I shall splash thee with holy water!"

"Oh, great, ruin my clothes before we die why don't you!"

"That's it!"

"What the…hey! Stop that! This shirt is dry-clean only! Get off me you… you… Earthling!"

"Heh heh heh, Vegie's getting wet."

"Stop calling me that you ignoramus!"

"Huh?"

"Argh!"

"Now Vegeta, remember what Bulma said about gnashing your teeth."

"I'll gnash you if you don't shut your mouth, Kakkarot!"

"Lash them to the stake!"

"Get your hands off me, weakling!"

"Hey, quit shoving!"

Turlus watched with interest as the pair were tied up to the posts whilst the third man took a lighted brand from a near-by guard.

"The cleansing fire shall pass through your bodies, eating away all the evil within your hearts!"

"It'll take more than hat to clean Vegie's heart!" Goku laughed.

"Will you _shut up_!" Vegeta snarled. "And stop calling me "Vegie"!"

"Sure, 'Geta."

"And no more 'Geta' either!"

"Well… what should I call you then?"

"How's about Prince Vegeta for once?"

"A prince! A prince of hell we have caught!" the man shouted.

"You'll _wish _you were in hell when I'm through with you, buster!" Vegeta shouted. And with that, the figure lit the kindling that surrounded them.

"Oooh, this is nice," Goku said. Vegeta looked sideways at the other Saiyan and glared.

"This is all your fault, idiot."

"What? No it's not!"

"Yes it is! You dragged us all into this mess!"

"… Vegeta, you're crazy."

"I am _not_ crazy you imbred piece of trash! Now untie me this instant!"

"But Vegeta…"

"No buts! Do it, do it now!"

Turlus watched the pair argue from afar, Vegeta's head snapping back and forward as his angrew grew and grew until it was rage. Goku's face was going red with anger also, and soon the pair of them were yelling and screaming at each other. They were also quite oblivious to the flames that were roaring all around them. Some of the crowd were booing at the apparent lack of cries of pain. Some of them even started throwing things at the burning stakes. The lacks of screams of pain, and the loud shouts of anger, were making the crowd anxious and fidgety. And when the two demons burst into a pair of golden torches and floated in the air, arguing with each-other nose to nose, the entire mob fled in panic.

"I'll show you who's Prince Pineapple Head!" Vegeta roared and floated back.

"And I'll teach you not to call me a clown shoe!" Goku cried back.

The pair of them charged energy into their hands and started hurling them. A huge explosion ripped across the town square sending wood splinters and shards of stone everywhere. When the smoke cleared Goku and Vegeta were flailing away at each other like a pair of school-yard children. Not wasting any time, Turlus swooped in quickly and slapped a tag onto each of the combatants.

"Hey!"

"What the…"

Turlus didn't bother to answer. He simply pressed the red button, and all three of them vanished again.

* * *

The trio re-appeared. Turlus looked around at what was recognisably a dessert. He could tell it was a dessert because there was a lot of sand. And he had landed in camel shit.

"Typical…" Turlus sighed as he scraped the stuff from his boot with the only thing he could find.

"Hey!" Goku complained, swiping his crud-encrusted boot back from Turlus.

"Where are we now, Kakoclone?" Vegeta asked, pushing forward up a sand dune.

"A dessert." Turlus answered.

"Desert!" Goku asked, his face lighting up.

"No, not a desert. A dessert! A hot sandy place!" Vegeta snapped. He sighed and let his body power down out of super saiyan.

"Sand? In a desert? That doesn't sound very nice."

"…Kakarot…"

"Yes Vegeta?"

"Shut up."

"Yes, Vegeta."

Vegeta was about to say something, when something suddenly occurred to him.

"Turlus, what are you doing here? I mean, what are we doing here? One minute we were there, and the next minute we're here. Why are we here and not there? Come to think about it, why were we there in the first place?"

Turlus' head twitched as he tried to comprehend all the answers at once. "Gyurk." Was all he managed to say. Vegeta watched with a bemused expression as the Saiyan toppled over and rolled down the sand dune.

"I think you just broke him," Goku said, watching the tumbling Turlus.

"Oh good!" Vegeta cackled.

After Turlus picked himself up and flew back to the others, the three followed the blip on the Dragon Radar until they came to a large city. Spices floated up on the breeze to where the three Saiyans were flying, and Goku couldn't help but salivate.

"Kakarot! Watch what you're doing! You're _dribbling _all over me you fool!" Vegeta hissed angrily.

"Sorry Vegeta," Goku replied, wiping his mouth on his arm. "But it smells so good, y'know?"

"Look, if you're really good, I'll let you have some of whatever they're cooking."

"Ooooh, do you promise!" Goku cried with glee.

"Yes," Vegeta lied.

"Hooray!" Goku cried, corkscrewing through the air.

"Kakarot! Pull yourself together and let's get this Saiyan!" Vegeta snapped.

"Sorry 'Geta."

"AND STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

The three flew on, high over the head of the oblivious city's inhabitants, and soon they found themselves floating outside one of the towers of a mighty golden palace.

"He's in there," Turlus said, gesturing to the walls.

"Who do you reckon it is?" Goku asked, scratching his head.

"It could only be one of four people. Trunks, Brolli, Raditz or Nappa," Turlus said. "Well, there's only one way to find out for sure." Holding out his hand, he let a red and black kai charge rip apart the tower wall. Mortar and debris flew apart around them, crashing down to the ground where the screams of the people rose up.

"Who blew up my wall!" a deep voice bellowed.

"Hello, Nappa!" Goku said cheerfully.

"… Kakarot!"

"Yup!"

"What are you doing here!"

"Getting rescued," Turlus interrupted. Nappa turned to look at the Kakoclone when he felt something attach itself to his chest. "Ow hey, what's thi-" he said, before vanishing with a blue flash along with all the others. At that moments, guards flew in through the door, followed by the Grand Vizier and the Sultan

"What happened! Where is the prisoner!" the Vizier cried, grabbing the nearest guard.

"He must have escaped, my Lord!" the Guard said.

"Yes, I suppose he just blew a hole in the wall and flew away…"

"Well his breath _was_ rather horrendous, my Lord…"

The Grand Vizier dropped the guard, and the Sultan waddled into the room.

"Oh poo," he said, looking a little saddened. "And I was so looking forward to another story of the warrior's battles with Frieza."

* * *

The quartet arrived, landing heavily on a tarmac surface. They lay there dazed for a moment, until a beligerant voice bellowed: "NAPPA! GET YOUR OVERSIZED ARSE OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I GIVE YOU A FINAL FLASH ENIMA!" The Saiyan pile dispersed quickly allowing Vegeta to pick himself off the ground. The Saiyan prince looked around for something to take away the taste of Nappa-butt out of his mouth, but couldn't find anything. He sighed, and as soon as he drew ina lungful of air, he began to choke.

"Vegeta, what's wrong 'lil buddy?"

"Air… stinking… eurgh… DON'T CALL… ME…. THAT!" Vegeta cried, going red in the face with the effort.

"Gee, Sorry." Goku said, then sniffed the air. "Ew, that is gross. What is it?"

They all turned around and glared at Nappa.

"Hey, it wasn't me! Honest!" the larger Siayan cried, holding his hands up defensively. "I take great pride in my bodily odours. If that had been me, I'd be _bragging_ about it."

"That's true…" Turlus muttered. "Now let's get out of here as soon as we can and leave that stench behind us."

The group agreed, and they powered up and flew off. As they looked down, an orange haze covered the street, and it seemed to flow like fog.

"I know what that is! I know what that is!" Goku cried excitedly. Everybody stopped and looked at him with a slight smile, waiting for the idiotic thing he was about to say. "It's smog!" Their smiles vanished and were replaced by frowns.

"Smog? Kakarot, have you been sniffing your dirty laundry again recently?" Vegeta asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, really! It's smog. It's like… a mixture of dirty air and smoke, and it looks like fog, except it's _really_ bad. Gohan told me about it."

"That figures," Vegeta muttered. "Any idea where we are then, mister intelligent?"

"A city," Goku said with a decisive nod.

"… any _particular_ city?" Turlus asked.

"This one." Again a decisive nod.

"So… you're telling us, that we are here."

"Yes."

"Idiot."

"Can we please just find whoever's here!" Turlus shouted, waving his arms around.

"What? Oh, right. Let's go!" Vegeta shouted and flew away. Nobody followed him, so he flew back. "What are you waiting for?"

"Uh… the person's over _that_ way, Vegeta." Turlus answered, pointing in the opposite direction.

"I… uh… I knew that. Fool. Uh. Turlus, lead the way!" And so the four flew off in search of their missing comrade. The smog was thick, and it would have hindered their search for whoever was here had they not had the dragon radar. The blips were coming faster and faster as they grew nearer, and eventually Turlus dived through the smog and came across a building. It was a hotel, and it looked a lot nicer than their surroundings.

"He's in here," Turlus said, nodding towards the hotel.

"Well? What are we standing here for? Let's get him!" Vegeta rasped, then coughed on some more smog. He pushed through the group and led the cluster of Saiyans into the hotel's lobby. Bellboys were pushing trolleys of luggage across a large marble floor and into ornate elevators. Very expensive-looking paintings lined the walls, and the guests milling around were wearing expensive-looking garments and smoking expensive-looking cigarettes. The place was generally expensive-looking.

"Can I help you, sir?" asked a whining nasal voice. Vegeta looked up and saw the hotel attendant behind the desk, pen held in his hand in such a manner that it couldn't possibly be any more queer.

"That all depends." Vegeta snarled. "Have you seen my… companion come through here?"

"That all depends," the attendant replied in a mocking tone, "on what he looks like."

"Well… he's either very, very, _very_ large with black hair. Very large with _lots_ of black hair. Or large with long purple hair and a blue jacket." Vegeta replied, then he put his hands on the desk which buckled and splintered under his grip. "And if you answer me like that again I'm going to rip your fucking arms off and do unpleasant things to the sockets."

"He means it," Goku said, nodding earnestly.

"Yeah," Nappa voiced. "Like, this one time, we blew up a planet? But Vegeta left his sandwich on the surface, and he was really upset. He called me a bald-headed imbecile and threatened to let Frieza have his wicked way with me once we returned to the ship."

"Nappa?"

"Yes, Vegeta?"

"You _are_ a bald headed imbecile!" Vegeta shouted, then turned back to the cowering reception manager. "Now have you seen my companion or haven't you!"

The manager coughed and regained his composure. "Yes, I do believe I saw one of your companions. He was brought in by a certain quartet of guests. Do you wish me to call up and se eif he's still there?"

"No. I'll find him myself," Vegeta snorted and turned away arrogantly. He turned so quickly, however, that he lost his footing on the slick polished marble floor and collapsed in a heap, hitting his head off the floor so hard that the marble tile cracked. The others tried not to laugh. The manager was rising from his chair to peer over the desk when a white-gloved hand appeared and dug its fingertips into the metal and wood surface. Soon a spiky-haired head was dragged up above the desk's surface. One of its eyebrows were twitching.

"I'll… _get_… you…" it managed to say before collapsing again with a crash. Another marble tile shattered as Vetega's head slammed off the floor again. "If any of you fucking clowns say a single word, I'll feed you to the fucking Namek! Now help me up!"

They followed the bleeps of the Dragon Radar through the corridors of the hotel and up flights of steps, and after several minutes of aimless wandering, they were standing in front of a door. Vegeta death-glared the wooden portal, then when it refused to open he knocked on it. A hollow voice replied "Just a second, man," and the sound of staggered footsteps, a crash, a large bout of giggling issued. Eventually the door opened and thin grey smoke rolled out of the room and into the corridor.

"Yeah, man?" the man asked. He had a dark complexion with large hair and a moustach that framed the top and sides of his lps.. Around his neck was a neckerchief, in the same colourful stripy motif that general matched his top which was worn over a comfortable pair of jeans.

"Um… I'm looking for somebody…" Vegeta said, looking the man up and down. He had started swaying, and it was making Vegeta feel sea-sick.

"You've, like, found somebody man. Say… you're not The Man, are you?"

"The who?" Vegeta asked.

"The man, man."

"The man man?"

"That's right, the man, man."

"I'm not a man man. I'm a Saiyan man," Vegeta asked, getting concerned over this man's mental health.

"That's cool, I'm digging it, man." The stranger said. Vegeta stared at him, and the stranger stared back with a vacant expression on his face.

"But... you don't have a spade..." Goku pointed out, a confused look on his face.

"Hey, Jimi, who's at the door?" came a voice from within. It was sharper and more nasal than the dark-skinned man, whose voice was drawn out and dull.

"He says he's a saiyanman, man," Jimi replied.

"'Ma saiyaman too!" said another dulled voice, then it burst into giggles.

"'E ses e's saiyanman too. Maybe we should let 'em in, like?" Said a third voice, which sounded similar to the first. The second voice was still giggling.

"Yeah, man, totally. Peace, friends, and come in." Jimi opened the door wider and allowed Vegeta and the others access to the hotel room. It was quite large, and it consisted of several rooms. Hazy smoke filled the air in ribbons, and sitting in the lounge area were five men. One of them was lying on his side, giggling. Everybody recognised him at once.

"Trunks!" Goku cried. "Buddy, we been looking for you!"

Mirai slowly pushed himself off the floor and looked at them with bleary red-rimmed eyes. Then burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Turlus asked.

"He's wearing orange pyjamas! That's great! I love it!" Mirai cried with laughter. One of the others started giggling too.

"Oh don't you start too, Paul," said a man with a large nose.

"I can't help it Ringo. When one starts, I start," Paul said, trying not to giggle. The man next to him snorted, trying to contain a laugh, and then the others were all heaving as they tried not to laugh. Vegeta looked at them with a confused expression, and that was enough to set all five of them off laughing.

"Excuse my friends, man," Jimi said, offering the four to take a seat wherever they could. "This is their first time with the smokes."

"The smokes?" Turlus asked, sitting near Mirai.

"Yeah, man. The smokes." Jimi replied.

"Make us all up another one, our Jimi lad," one of the others asked.

"Sure thing, man," Jimi replied and reache dover to a pouch that was lying on the table. He expertly rolled up a loose cigarette and lit it. He inhaled, held his breath for a moment, then exhaled. Goku sniffed the air. It didn't smell like the cigarettes that Dr. Briefs smoke constantly. They smelt… better. The aroma was a lot more friendly to the nose. Goku looked down, and noticed that Jimi was offering him the cigarette.

"Uh, no thank-you. I don't smoke," Goku replied.

"Oh, they're not smokes, mate," the Big Nosed Ringo replied. "They're joints."

"Joints!" Goku cried, and then his stomach rumbled. "Oh man am I hungry!"

"He ain't even smoked 'em and he's got one serious munchies, man!" Jimi said with a laugh. Trunks burst into laughter again.

"I don't know why I'm laughing!" he cried, tears rolling down his face as he writhed on the floor.

"How do I eat it?" Goku asked, taking the joint and looking at it.

"You don't eat that joint, man. You take it. Put it in your mouth, and suck it in, real smooth." Goku did as he was instructed and felt his chest growing warmer. "Now hold it in." Goku's lungs started to itch, and he coughed suddenly.

"Hmm. Doesn't feel right. I'm still hungry," Goku said. "I think I'll have a cooked joint later if it's all the sae to you."

"You want it cooked? You got one cooked," Jimi replied, rolling another, this time heating up a small black cube and sprinkling it into the roll. "Here you go, Joe."

"My names not Joe, it's Goku," said Goku, taking the lit joint and inhaling. He was able to keep the smoke held in for longer this time before coughing it up. He felt a sudden tingle, and when he noticed vegeta's curious expression, he had the sudden urge to laugh.

"Pass it on, mate. That's what we do," said one of the Fab Four. Goku nodded and handed it to the man of his right, who took a suck of the joint and passed it on as he held his breath. Nappa was next, and remembering what Goku had did, he took a drag and passed it to Turlus, who did likewise. The blunt was passed around the group, missing out Mirai who was in no fit state to speak nevermind smoke, and eventually came to Vegeta. The prince looked at it critically, turning it around and around, looking at it from every single angle, before taking a drag... of the wrong end.

"OWOWOWOWOW!" he cried jumping up, his bright-red tongue lolling out of his mouth. That was it. Everybody was falling about on the floor laughing like crazy. Vegeta death-glared them all.

"Stop laughing this instant! This is not funny! I am the Prince of All Saiyans! Nobody mocks me!" He raged. But nobody was listening. They were all crying with laughter.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at capsule corporation…

"What's taking them so long!" Bulma demanded, pacing back and forth along the floor. "They should be back by now."

"Maybe something happened to them?" Tomatta asked.

"Please!" Bulma scoffed. "What could possibly happen to the boys?"

* * *

Eventually, they all stopped laughing. Vegeta had been sitting in the corner with his back to them for about an hour, and now things were eventually starting to calm down.

"Gee, it's time we left," Goku said, stifling a yawn. "It's been swell meeting you all, but I think I'd rather have a real joint next time. They're more yummy."

"Yeah, man. Drop by anytime," Jimi replied.

"Yeah, it's been Fab," John said extending his hand. Goku shook it carefully, then helped Mirai up to his feet.

"Next time I'm passing through, I'll call in!" Goku promised. Turlus stretched and stood up, rummaging in the pouch for a tag, and quickly clasping it to Mirai's t-shirt.

"Well, so long."

"Hmmph," Vegeta said satnding up and walking to the door. "It's about blasted time."

"Stop being such a grumpy goose," Goku chided.

"I'm warning you, Kakarot!" Vegeta flared again.

"Awww, look at the grumpy l'il Geta!" Goku chided in a baby voice. Vegeta thumped him in the face.

"Yes, look at the grumpy little Vegeta, bitch," Vegeta smirked to Goku's unconscious form laying sprawled on the floor. Nappa sighed and slung him over his shoulder as Turlus closed the door behind them. As soon as the door was closed, he pressed the red button andthey all vanished with a blue flash.

* * *

They re-appeared floating in the air over a desolate, war-torn landscape. Buildings were crumbling all around them and smoke was rising in large columns obscuring the horizon.

"Well?" Vegeta asked, turning to Turlus.

"Over there," Turlus, time commando, responded, gesturing ahead. He wrapped himself in his aura and flew off.

"Very well, let's get out of here before something happens," Vegeta said and flew off after Turlus, followed by the other two, the unconscious Goku unceremoniously slung over Nappa's shoulder like some sort of snoring spiky orange sack.

Turlus led them through the devastated city until he came to a large official-looking building that had been hit by several explosive shells, judging by the large chunks that had been ripped out of the façade and flanks of the frontal building. "He's in here, guys!" Turlus cried, and charged inside, barging through walls in a bee-line towards this out-of-place Saiyan. Behind him, Vegeta, Miraiand Nappa followed in hot persuit.

"So uh, Vegeta. Who do you think it'll be? I bet an unconscious Kakorot that it's Brolli."

"What makes you imagine that, Nappa?" Vegeta asked.

"Have you _seen_ this place? Brolli, for sure." Mirai replied.

"Exactly. I've _seen_ it. If this were Brolli's handiwork, there would be no _it_ left, just a large crater in the ground. But I'll take you up on that wager, Nappa."

"What will I get when I win?" Nappa asked.

"What! Nappa, you're a bald idiot. You _won't_ win!"

"Yeah, but what if I do?"

"Oh very well," Vegeta sighed. "_If_ you win, you _may_ get a sandwhich."

"Joy!" Nappa bellowed, and flew onwards.

Turlus stopped outside a wall and peered at it. There were wet slapping sounds coming from inside and several grunts.

"Uh… I really hate to know what's happening in there…" Turlus said, as Nappa and Vegeta stopped behind him. They all listened on to the slapping and grunting, which rose in crescendo until the grunting was turning into cries.

"What the hell's going on in there!" Vegeta cried in disgust.

"I don't know… but whoever's here, is in there," Turlus said, looking at the modified Dragon Radar.

"Well, there's only one thing for it…" Vegeta said, holding out his hand palm out. A moment later, a large section of the wall exploded and the Prince stepped in through the wreckage. When the dust cleared, several large men and one smaller moustached man were looking at him in astonishment.

"WHAT IS THIS!" the moustachioed one screamed. He was holding a rather-battered looking steak in his hand.

"I don't know, Heir Hitler. But Zis won ist mine, ya!" replied one of the largest men, swinging around a large pork chop and slapping it into his hand. Vegeta smirked.

"Hmmph. You honestly think you can defeat me with a lean piece of meat?" Vegeta scoffed.The man stepped forward, allowing Vegeta to see what had been happening. Tried to a chair, sporting a black eye, and covered in bits of meat, was a hungry-looking Raditz. "What the blazes is going on in here!"the princedemanded.

"I'm sorry, Vegeta. They got the jump on me and started torturing me with meat. I'm so hungry!"

"SILENCE!" Hitler shouted, and cuffed across Raditz in the face with the steak.

"See?"

"I see. So, you think I, the prince of_all Saiyans_would stand idly by whilst you demean aone of my loyalwarrior like this? You bastard," Vegeta snarled, glaring at the four Nazis in the room. "I'll see you rotting in hell for this!"

The larger men all broke for Vegeta at once, swingingtheir various chops and steaks in an arc to connect with Vegeta's face. The nimble prince smiled as they charged, and with a quick swipe of his finger, a small lance if energy slashed the meat apart. The three torturers hesitated in their run, allowing Vegeta time to hurl three small energy charges at them, atomising their chests and sending them hurtling back across the room. The three corpses hit the floor and rolled still, smoke rising from their charred remains.

"Home run!" bellowed Nappa, hopping from foot to foot in excitement.

"Indeed, Nappa." Vegeta said, then turned to Hitler. "You… you're going to wish you had never lived, you filth!"

"NO! I AM ZE MASTER RACE, PIGDOG!"

"Master race, huh?" vegeta mused, taking deliberate steps towards the dictator. "Master this! FINAL FLASH!" The blue energy arc slashed forwards and lifted Hitler off his feet and smashed his remains through wall after wall until every atom of his body was nothing more than residual energy. Vegeta lowered his hands and looked at the mess, before spitting on the floor in disgust.

"Turlus, tag Raditz and let's get out of here."

"Very well," Turlus replied, throwing a tag into the room. It connected to Raditz' bare arm, and the Saiyan looked down at it.

"What's this?" He asked.

"It's just a device… thing." Turlus said lamely. "It lets us all travel through time at once.

"Oh," Raditz said. "Well can we go before I vanish again?"

"Sure." Turlus pressed the red button. There was a whine, and then nothing. He pressed it again, and again, and again. Nothing happened, repeatedly.

"Uh…"

"Did you break it?" Mirai asked.

"No, honest!" Turlus replied quickly. Vegeta glowered at the buildings around them.

"I DO NOT WISH TO BE STUCK HERE!" he bellowed.

"Hold on, according to this radar, we're all here," Turlus said.

"But what about Brolli?" Nappa asked.

"I love you Chi-Chi…" Goku murmured in his sleep.

"Apparently… he's nowhere to be found."

"Shit," Vegeta sighed. "Then how do we get home, Turlus?"

"I just press this but-" they all vanished.

* * *

"-ton." Turlus took his finger off the black button and looked around. They were standing in Capsuke Corporations courtyard.

"Bulma!" Vegeta roared. There was a moment of silence, then the sound of a door bursting open. Vegeta turned around and was instantly set upon by a hectic spouse.

"Oh Vegeta!" Bulma crooned. "You're alive! I was so scared! I never thought I'd see you again! And you too, Trunks! I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you both."

"Where's Brolli?" Tomatta asked, ducking under the doorframe and emerging into the sunlight.

"We… uh… couldn't find him," Vegeta admitted.

"So he's… missing?" Bulma asked.

"I guess so."

"… oh well, that's not so bad." She said with a shrug. "One out of six are acceptable losses." And turned around and headed back into the house.

"What do we do about Brolli?" Raditz asked uncertainly.

"Oh," Bulma said with a pause. "I'm sure he'll turn up sooner or later."

* * *

Laterthat day, everybody was clustered around inside the lounge of the Capsule Corporation building, talking excitedly about what happened. The kids were talking to Raditz and Nappa about King Arthur and a real-life Arabian Sultan, Chi-Chi was interested to hear about her husband nearly being burnt at the stake, and Mirai couldn't remember much about his time spent out of time. The evening wore on, and the television talked away to itself in the background. The news came on and talked about the topical events of the day so far, before cutting to a news reporter standing in an open plain near a broken cliff.

"What you see behind me, folks, is a landslide where the cliff-face has come away from the rest of the cliff after millions of years of erosion and weakening from the elements. This is a common event in the natural world, but what has scientists and archaeologistsbaffled is what appears to be _writing_ carved into the mountain rock itself, some of which has been revealed by the landslide. What's more, in yet another even more unexplainable turn of events, the writing appears to be in modern romanji. Doctor Sanjima is here to help us explain something about these writings and exactly who this "Brolli" is…"

"_BULMAAAA_!"

* * *

With our brave warriors returned to their own timeline, they can continue to fight against the evil music overtaking capsule corporation! But what about Brolli? What consequences will a Legendary Super Saiyan have on the history of the planet? Find out, in Dragonball Total War: Death Saiyan!

**AN** (Rest in Peace Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon and George Harrison. You shall be missed. Rest in Pieces Adolf (S)Hitler and the other members of the Nazi Government. The likes of you shall _not_ be missed.)


	16. Brolli's Diary

Chapter 16 – Brolli's Diary

The excavation team carefully chipped away at the mountainside, revealing the text written in a bold flowing script across the mountainside. There was lots of it, and anybody there could easily decipher the fact that it was a diary carved into the side of a mountain. It was surreal, and the vast majority of people on the project thought it was a hoax perpetrated by some eccentric billionaire with nothing better to do. Almost immediately, all eyes had focused on Hercule, thinking it some sort of publicity stunt.

But for once, he had nothing to say on the matter.

Bulma, Mirai, Vegeta and Goku flew out to the project site to take a look at it themselves, and began to wish that they hadn't. It was obvious that Brolli had written this diary, and that he had been trapped millions of years in the past. A quick word with one of the science team revealed that this particular strata that the diary was written on was in the region of sixty-five millions years old. As soon as Bulma heard the numbers, she had a pretty bad feeling.

* * *

Brolli looked up at the large, flat rock face and decided something. He had been stuck in this place for a whole day now, and he was bored, so he floated up a meter to a flat piece of rock face and pressed his finger into the stone up to the first knuckle. Thus, his diary was formed. Over the months, the entries filled most of the mountain's surface. The following are a selection of his entries.

Day 1. Arrived in a jungle. It was quite hot and wet. I began to explore, but found only trees. Some of the flowers are quite pretty. One of them bit me. I ate it. Found this mountain, decided to keep a diary.

Day 2. Explored some more. Found a big lizard thing. It reminded me of Frieza, so I thumped it. I got hungry, so I ate it. It tasted like chicken.

Day 3. Did some more exploring, getting sick of trees. Found another big Frieza thing. Hit that one too, and ate it.

Day 10. Getting tired of trees and big lizards. Tried experimenting with some of the other stuff. Saw some of the other big lizards eating trees. Didn't taste very nice, so I ate the big lizards instead.

Day 12. Got chased by a group of small lizards. They bit me in unpleasant places. I don't like this place anymore.

Day 14. I flew away in search of home. Found lots of other interesting places and saw many large lizards. I ate those and ran away from the small ones that chase me. Eventually came back here again.

Day 20. It got cold, so I set a tree on fire. Accidentally set the rest of the jungle on fire. If anybody finds out, they're going to be pretty angry.

Day 25. Went off in search of home again. Got lost a few times. Couldn't find home and got lost a few more times coming back here. The jungle is still on fire but at least it's warm.

Day 26. Found some strange mushrooms that survived the fire. I'm going to eat some with big lizard for my supper.

Day 30. Haven't updated my diary for a while, because I thought I was a large floating bat with spoons instead of fingers. Hungry now, and there aren't any big lizards near-by. Think I'll have to eat those mushrooms again.

Day 37. Those mushrooms are fucking weird.

Day 51. Given up eating the mushrooms after I got scared that my head would explode if I said the letter "b". Having to go quite far to find any big lizards.

Day 56. Made myself a rudimentary shelter out of big lizard skins stretched over big lizard bones. I call it my big lizard palace. It smells of shit though.

Day 61. Two big lizards's had a fight, and they destroyed my home. So I ate them.

Day 63. Bored. Found some mud and drew a picture of Kakarot being tortured by small furry animals with needles. Ah such sweet irony…

Day 64. Diverted a large meteorite that was heading towards the Earth's surface.

Day 65. Spent the day reflecting on life.

Day 66. Spent today reflecting on life too. Came to the conclusion "fuck it"

Day 70. After much thinking upon the nuances of life, and deciding that life is a great illusion to cover the disappointment that is reality, I have decided to eat some more of these mushrooms. Besides, they taste kinda nice with roasted big lizard.

* * *

There was a big gap in the entries at this point, and Bulma noticed that a large blemish and what appeared to be glass punctuated the mountain here. She asked one of the experts about this.

"Well, this layer of the strata is mostly sandstone… so whatever has caused this… mark was so powerful that it melted the sand in the stone, burned off all the impurities, and turned it into glass. Mud has compacted over time and distorted the mark, but I believe at one point it was a crater. Maybe from a meteorite, however there aren't many records of a meteor burning up so fiercely when it hits the ground that it leaves a glass-lined crater…"

Bulma nodded, and thanked the geologist, before divulging all this to the other three.

"So… what does this mean?" Goku asked. Vegeta grunted in an "I couldn't care less." Sort of way. Mirai looked and Bulma and nodded.

"I think… this means that Brolli blasted a hole into the mountain side."

Bulma nodded. "That's what I think, too. I'm going to keep reading, see if there's anything more in this diary." She turned back to the mountainside and started reading again.

* * *

Day 110. I can't take the solitude any more. Even Mister Lizard Corpse has stopped being good company. And he's starting to smell now.

Day 115. Tragedy! LC lost his head! Literally. I dropped him, and his head rolled away somewhere. I couldn't find it!

Day 116. I buried Mister Lizard Corpse this morning. It was a small, solemn rite. I mumbled a small prayer and blasted the remains. It is what he would have wanted.

Day 117. Living without LC is a burden that I cannot live with any longer. I have decided to take my own life. Goodbye cruel world. I hope that my diary is found so that my companions may read what happened in my final days, and that Kakarot may know that I still think he's a mouth-breathing fucktard. Goo… (The glassy blemish in the mountain face wipes out the rest of the passage).

* * *

"He killed himself!" Vegeta cried with shock. "But… but…"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Wailed Goku, bursting into tears.

"… Get off've me, you beebling inbred piece of trash!" Vegeta shrieked, pushing Goku's head from his shoulder.

"He's dead, he's dead!" Goku kept wailing.

"But… he can't be dead…" Mirai said.

"Of course he can. Look. Big crater," Vegeta said slowly. "Brolli go bye-bye!"

"Yeah but…"

"Do you want me to spell it out for you, you dolt?"

"No, but…"

"Shut up!"

"DAD!"

"WHAT!"

"THERE'S MORE ENTRIES!"

"DON'T YOU SHOUT A- what!" Vegeta looked at the mountain, and sure enough, under the scar on the mountainside, were other journal entries. They started with:

Day unknown. Came back to life; forgot I was the Legendary Super Saiyan. Shit.

"Well… I'll be a monkey's uncle…" Goku said.

"Kakarot, I've told you before, don't use that phrase," Vegeta said, through gritted teeth.

"What, a monkey's uncle?" Goku asked.

"Yes, Kakarot."

"What wrong with a monkey's uncle?"

"Shut up!"

"C'mon, even monkey's have got to have uncles…"

"Shutupshutupshutup!"

"I mean," Goku continued, failing to notice the throbbing veins on Vegeta's forehead, "what else is the brother of a monkey's father going to be? You can hardly say, "well I'll be a monkey's paternal male sibling." can you?"

"Kakarot!"

"I mean; that would just sound stupid…"

"Kakarot!"

"Unless of course you're some sort of super intelligent person who speaks like that," Goku continued with a frown.

"KAKAROT!" Vegeta cried, grasping Goku by the throat and throttling him.

"Gak!" choked Goku, clutching at Vegeta's fists.

"_You fucking third-class piece of…!"_ screamed the irate Prince.

"Hurk!" Spluttered Goku. There was a hiss of air and a sharp 'pang' followed by a faint ringing sound. Vegeta's fingers gently unclasped from around Goku's throat. Goku opened an eye and saw a look of absolute shock on Vegeta's face, and then he slowly topped back over without changing posture. The prince lay still on his back, legs still in a solid stance, and hands out-front in a zombie-like state. Goku rubbed his throat and looked up as Bulma put her frying pan away seemingly into thin-air.

"What?" she asked. Goku shuddered. "C'mon, let's get back to Capsule Corporation. We have to get Brolli back before something awful happens."

"Like what?"

Bulma thought for a moment. "You may never eat another big dinner ever again."

Goku's eye twitched, then in a flash he grabbed his three companions and vanished with a flicker.

* * *

"We know where Brolli is," Bulma said triumphantly. "And more importantly, we vaguely know _when_ he is. I just need to tweak the modified dragon radar even more…"

"Why?" Turlus asked, sceptically.

"I need to give it more range. But that'll mean more power…" She looked around and started pulling draws and cabinets apart looking for the right power source, muttering "too small, too small," constantly to herself.

Raditz leaned over to Turlus and muttered, "That's what she says about Vegeta in the bedroom too."

Bulma ripped open the last container she came to, rummaged around, and threw her hands up with a theatrical cry of frustration, then stormed out the room. There was a loud clank and several shouts from the techs, engineers and workers of Capsule Corp, and then the sound of something being dragged. Bulma re-entered the room towing a large power-cell from one of the space ships and let it drop to floor, denting and ripping the titanium sheets when it impacted.

"What's that!" Goku asked.

"That," Bulma replied brushing a strand of hair behind her ear and regaining her composure, as well as her breath, "is a fusion energy-pod from the spaceship you used to get to Namek years ago, and which Vegeta subsequently stole to go joyriding about the universe." She gave her spouse a specific look, but he just snorted and turned his nose to the air.

"Oh please, like I, the most power warrior in the universe, was going to stay here with you bunch of invalids and retards?"

"Anyway… this energy-pod is what's going to energise the radar." Bulma continued, patting the chrome surface.

"Isn't that a bit overkill?" Raditz asked looking from the hulking piece of extremely advanced technological hardware to the small and comparatively crude dragon radar.

"Nonsense!" Bulma scoffed. "It'll be a doddle to hook the pod up to the radar. And it'll give it the extra range we need to locate Brolli."

"Why? What range are we talking about here?" Turlus asked, with a worried expression on his face.

"Oh, about sixty-five million years." Bulma replied, matter-of-factly.

"Are you fucking crazy!" Turlus shouted.

"Nobody calls _me_ crazy!" Bulma screeched, causing Turlus to duck behind Tomatta.

"But… but… that's a long time away!"

"Yeah, but all you have to do is press the red button, find Brolli, which in that time shouldn't be a problem; all you have to do is listen out for the explosions, and then tag him, and press the black button on the watch to come home. Simple."

"Yeah… except for the sixty-five million part."

"Stop being such a coward!" Vegeta laughed. "Would you like somebody to go along to hold you hand?"

"Are you volunteering?" Turlus quipped.

"Please, don't make me laugh," Vegeta replied smoothly. "I wouldn't sully myself by babysitting a fully-grown man. Even if he is as spineless as you."

There was a small click. "There," Bulma said, dusting her hands. "All done. Now strap the pod to your back and go."

"But…"

"Go. Now." Bulma said again, smiling sweetly.

"But I don't wanna!"

"For the love of all things edible, man! Go!" Goku cried, shaking Turlus.

"Yikes!" Turlus cried and pressed the red button on the watch. He vanished.

* * *

Turlus reappeared in what was once a lush jungle. What it was now was a charred mess. Turlus floated up into the air for a look around, and saw to his left was the cliff face. He turned and flew towards it, hoping to be in and out as quickly as possible. When he arrived at the cliff, Brolli was nowhere to be seen, all that remained were large piles of colossal bones and tough, leathery skins strewn about the scorched terrain. A large crater had been blasted into the cliff wall and there was what appeared to be dried blood everywhere.

"Guess the big guy went out with a bang…" Turlus muttered to himself before activating the Dragon Radar. The blips were coming in strong and quick, which meant Brolli was nearby. Turlus charged off in the direction the radar was showing, and it wasn't long before a powerlevel spiked right through him, almost causing him to let go of the radar.

"Gah!" Turlus cried out, clutching his throbbing head.

"Gwahahahaha!" Brolli laughed manically, thundering forward and lunging at Turlus. Turlus, thinking quickly, grabbed his last tag and dived aside as the legendary super Saiyan shot past, managing to snag the broach onto Brolli's sash. Brolli wheeled around and lashed out, catching Turlus across the side of the cheek.

"Hey, you bastard! It's me!" Turlus shouted, bunching his fists. Brolli hesitated and peered at Turlus through dark eyes.

"Tur-lus…" he mumbled. "TURLUS!" The shout was loud enough to make the ground shake and to force Turlus to cover his ears. Brolli hung in the air waiting, watching the other Saiyan. Turlus didn't hesitate, and thumbed the black button on the watch.

They vanished.

* * *

Turlus and Brolli reappeared in the capsule corporation courtyard, with an eager-looking group of Saiyans and humans clustered around waiting. As soon as Brolli's gigantic form appeared, they all heaved a sigh of relief, and then covered their noses.

"Oh. My. God!" Bulma cried. "What the hell is that smell?"

"Why does everybody always look at _me_!" Nappa demanded.

"Because you smell." Vegeta said bluntly.

"That's because I don't take baths, unlike _some_ people!" Nappa replied.

"You say that like it's a _good_ thing?" Raditz asked finger and thumb firmly held over nose.

"You mean… it's not?" They all shook their heads. Brolli just grunted, and sniffed his armpit. Five minutes later, when he regained consciousness, he was in a bath full of soapy, bubbly water. It smelt of rose-petals. The shock to his system sent the Legendary Super Saiyan back into unconsciousness, where he remained for another half hour. When he awoke again he was being towelled down by a group of smug looking women. 18 was leaning against the door, the ever-present smirk smeared across her lips. Brolli grunted as he was pampered, then shrugged Fru et al aside when he thought he was dry enough and wandered off. 18's smirk soon vanished as the tall _naked_ Saiyan strode towards her, and she quickly dived aside with a yelp as Mt. Brolli rumbled past.

"His eyes…" she mumbled as she picked herself up. "Did you see his eyes!"

"They were glistening…" Fru said dreamily.

"He's going to do something…" Cukumbri added.

"Well I'm not sticking around to find out what," 18 said, then headed towards the nearest exit and flew away. Fru and Cukumbri exchanged worried looks, and followed Brolli's wet footprints.

* * *

"Brolli! For goodness sake, put some trousers on!" Vegeta snapped irritably. He had been sitting at the kitchen table, arguing with Mirai, when Brolli had just wandered in, seemingly blissfully unaware of his current clotheslessness.

"Foood…" Brolli rumbled, ignoring the prince.

"Pfft, fine. It worries me not," he muttered, and turned back to his son. "So you were saying…?"

"All I'm saying, father, is that perhaps it's time you sought counselling?"

"Look, you polished little turd," Vegeta said, pointing a sinewy finger at Mirai's nose, "I am _not_ an addict!"

"Yes you are, father! You can't go a night without watching Monty Cobra on… father, are you alright?" Mirai asked. Vegeta's face had started going red.

"Monty… Cobra…? _Monty Cobra! _What sort of genius are you! It's Monty Python you stupid little fuck! How moronic do you have to be to mistake Monty _Python_ with Monty _Cobra_!"

"Jeez, sorry dad. It's just a TV show."

"Just a TV show? _Just a TV show_! What would you know? Where you come from, there are no TV shows and everybody's _dead_!"

Mirai blinked at Vegeta. "You need help."

"Don't make me get the brick."

"But you…"

"You won't like it when I get the brick."

"I know but…"

"That's it! I'm getting the brick!"

"ARGH!" Mirai ran for his life.

"RUN! RUN! AS FAST AS YOU CAN! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME! I'M THE PRINCE OF ALL MOTHERFUCKIN' SAIYANS, BITCH!" Vegeta cried, then chased after his son cackling dementedly, a sackfull of bricks held in hand. Brolli watched them depart thoughtfully, then shrugged and turned his attention to the big fridge in the corner. The big fridge with its supposedly Saiyan-proof padlock. The big fridge that was constantly filled to the brim with all sorts of delicious foods. The big fridge that was extradimentional and was ten times larger on the inside than it was on the outside.

Brolli drooled, then simply reached out and yanked the padlock from the door before opening it. Several alarms went off, and Brolli hurriedly slammed the door shut.

Five minutes later, everybody (except for Vegeta and Mirai) rushed into the kitchen.

"What was that _noise_!" Goku asked as he entered the room, fear deep in his voice. "It sounded like a girl shrieking in agonising pain. He took in the scene before them as Brolli was standing stock rigid in front of the fridge. "Oh! Hi Brolli!" Goku asked, cheerfully.

"K-K-Kakaroto…" Brolli stuttered.

"Oh shit… he's reverted…" Tomatta muttered. "We're doomed…"

"No-o-o… I don't think it's that," Bulma mused. Goku and Tomatta looked at her, and noticed that her gaze wasn't on Brolli's face; it was lower down. They followed their gaze down over Brolli's body towards his groinal region, and then gasped in shock.

"He… he…"Goku said, not able to get the words out.

"Yup." Bulma nodded.

"But… he…"

"Yup," she nodded again. Cukumbri giggled.

"But… isn't that…"

"Oh _yes_." Bulma answered. Goku shrieked with terror and ran away.

"The poor darling!" Fru clucked, moving over and opening the fridge door. Brolli suddenly un-tensed as his tail was released from where it was jammed between the fridge door and the doorframe.

"I… I only wanted something to eat," he sniffed and lumbered away, holding his crooked tail carefully in his hands.

"And for goodness sake, put some trousers on!" Turlus shouted after him.

* * *

The day progressed, Brolli eventually put some trousers on, and Death Saiyan invariably made its way towards the Gravity Chamber after Vegeta's belligerent screams and threats. They clustered around in front of their set-up, all eyes turned on Vegeta, except for Vegeta's eyes, which couldn't possibly be turned towards Vegeta without the aid of some sort of mystical magical voodoo witchcraft. Or a mirror.

"It has been a while since we did any sort of practice session," Vegeta proclaimed. "So we'd betterhave one now, or we'll never be in any condition to play our next dig."

"Gig, dad."

"Shut up, you," Vegeta said, "or I'll get the bricks. Anyway, I've phoned the walking-toaster and told her to arrange another venue for us to play at. So we'd better get a rail-list…

"Track list."

"Track list sorted out for whenever she gets us the fig."

"Gig," corrected Mirai, and then narrowly avoided the brick.

"I warned you! I said I'd get the bricks, but you didn't listen!"

"Vegeta, put the bricks down and pick your bass up," Raditz said, looping the strap for his guitar over his shoulder and adjusting the machine heads,

"Yes… yes of course. The infernal machine…" Vegeta muttered, picking up his bass and mumbling a few threats at the machine heads. He strummed the strings. "Perfect," the prince said with a slow, sadistic grin.

Everybody edged away from him.

"Will you stop doing that! Kako-brat, count us in already!"

"My name's Gohan."

"Whatever. Just do it."

Gohan sighed. "One! Two! One two three four!"

* * *

And so Death Saiyan is re-united after their adventures through time after long last. They've tasted what the past had to offer, and in Brolli's case, they tasted it to extinction, but now let's see what the future has placed on the menu in the next episode of… DEATH SAIYAN!

* * *

Shind0: "Good analogy thing at the end there."

Paulus (me): "Thank-you. It just came to me you know."

Shind0: "Really?"

Paulus: "Yeah."

Shind0: "Nasty. I hate it when things do that."

Paulus: "Wha…?"

Shind0: "Things. Just coming at you. Like pencils."

Paulus: "Or bricks?"

Shind0: "…what was that!"

Paulus: "What was what?"

Shind0: "That noise!"

Paulus: "What noise?"

Shind0: "That wet girly noise just a moment ago!"

Paulus: "Oh, that noise. I think it was Mirai whimpering."

Shind0: "Why?"

Paulus: "You said the "B" word."

Shind0: "Oh, hokey. I'll get the umberella."

Paulus: "Uh... wha'?"

Shind0: "You said the letter that comes after "A" so that means your head is going to go KA-BLOOP!"

Paulus: "... Wha!"

Shind0: "Doesn't it?"

Paulus: "No."

Shind0: "Bastard."

Paulus: "No."

Shind0: "What?"

Paulus: "Bastard isn't the "B" word."

Shind0: "Oh! ok, okay.Bollocks?"

Paulus: "No."

Shind0: "Uh… bikaki?"

Paulus: "Sick dude… but no. The _other_ B word."

Shind0: "What other B word? Buxom bouncing bosoms?"

Paulus: "Nice! But again with the no."

Shind0: "The only other B word I said was brick? …There it was again!"

Paulus: "Has the light dawned yet?"

Shind0: "Ooooh! Brickbrickbrickbrickbrickbrickbrickbrick!"

A pause whilst the blood-curdling wail ends

Paulus: "That was evil dude."

Shind0: "Heh, I know."

Paulus: "Just checking. Now, let's go get a sammich."

**AN** Just some words of wisdom there from me and Shind0. If you can call them wise. Or even "words" whisperings from aside Apparently, yes, I can call them words. Anyway. there'll be another chapter of Death Saiyan next thursday, so be sure to check it out!

And if you're new to the saga, then don't hesitate to A) review and B) read Total War, the story set before this one (you kinda need to read that one to know how everybody got to Earth and why people aren't dead...)

Now, seing as it's nearly Three Ay Em, it's time for Paulus, Lord of the Earth to go to bed and catch some Zees. Goodnight Fanfiction land!


	17. A Fine Day To Exit Stage Left

Chapter Seventeen – A Fine Day To Exit (Stage Left)

18 stepped out of the Red Ribbon Records building with a smirk in her face, and stretched in the warm morning sunlight. The morning was going well, she thought. Marron hadn't thrown a tantrum about going to school, Krillin had made her breakfast, Old Man Roshi hadn't been a lecherous old fart, and President Black had been scared out of his wits for the second time in as many weeks.

The android rose into the air and sped away home, smiling as she remembered how Black had cowered under his desk for the entire meeting and then begged to do anything she asked if she only went away. As a result, 18 had managed to land Death Saiyan a lucrative gig in one of the largest-capacity venues in the area: Hercule Arena. It would be a ninety-minute set, supporting a big band from some foreign country, 18 hadn't listened to those unimportant details, just the main points, such as the pay. Now all she had to do is tell the others the good news and some how figure out a way to keep the money. The clouds flashed passed and the sunlight was reflecting peacefully upon the surface of the sea below her as wave crashed upon wave, and slowly an idea formed in her cybernetically enhanced mind.

* * *

Vegeta look up at the android over his breakfast cereal and stared coldly at her.

"This had better be good," he warned. "Because if so much as a single crunchy golden flake of morning eatiness becomes soggy, I'll rip your face off."

18 stared at him blankly then smirked. "Not getting any?"

"… No."

"Slept on the couch again?"

"…Yes."

"What did you do?"

"I said her arse looked big in spandex."

"What was she doing in spandex?"

"Don't ask. Now, _why_ are you here, robot?"

"I've got you another gig," 18 replied matter-of-factly.

Vegeta's eyes it up and he dropped the spoon into his Wheaty Yum-Yums. "Where!" he asked, casually flicking a peace of sugar-coated cereal off the end of his nose.

"The Hercule Arena," 18 replied. The Prince's eyes widened slowly.

"That place is big! I saw it on TV once. There must have been _at least_ three hundred people in there!"

"Three hundred _thousand_, you mean?" 18 asked.

"That too," Vegeta replied, taking a spoonful of breakfast and chewing thoughtfully. "This could be interesting. All those easily susceptible mines staring at me on stage…" Vegeta smirked. The expression was somewhat marred by the fact he still had the spoon in his mouth. "When is it?"

"Two weeks time. Tuesday," 18 replied, standing to leave.

"Excellent, excellent. It gives me time to kick them into shape. This will be most triumphant!" Vegeta cackled.

"Uh, great," 18 said with a frown. "However there will be managers fees to cover."

"Wuh?" Vegeta said, his expression dropping.

"Managers fees. It wasn't _easy_ to get you this gig, you know. I had to do a lot of looking around and a lot of talking and explaining on your behalf even to get people _interested_. Do you have any _idea_ how high venue the arena is! Only the bets bands in the world perform there. Hey, you're lucky to be given the shot, kiddo."

"Kiddo?" Vegeta repeated, shocked that the walking toaster had dared title him thus. "Look, if it's such a big venue, surely we'll be getting paid for it."

"'Fraid not. That was part of the deal; for you to play there is so much of a privilege that you have forgone any sort of royalties from ticket sales. However, we may still get money from merchandise."

"And let me guess, that is where you want your money from."

"Correct."

"Bitch."

18 smirked at Vegeta's comment before flicking her hair behind her ear. "And don't you forget it buster. Now, I'll be back later in the week to arrange the gig with you. I'll also be talking to printing firms and the like on your behalf, see if we can get some T-shirts and posters printed."

"Good idea. Why not get some lunch boxes printed. Anything else you think will sell and line your pocket with gold?" Vegeta asked, his eyes slits.

"Oh sweetie, don't be bitter about it," 18 said with a laugh. "It's all in the name of Death Saiyan."

Vegeta watched her depart, and wrathfully resumed eating his breakfast. After several spoonfuls he threw the spoon down in disgust.

"It's fucking cold! That bitch! That utter, utter, _utter_, bitch! _FREDERICK! BRING ME MORE WHEATY YUM-YUMS THIS INSTANT! AND SOME COFFEE!"

* * *

_

And so after breakfast, Vegeta called the others and they gathered in the gravity room so the Prince of Saiyans could explain the situation. He highlighted the importance of the event and made it quite clear that under the circumstances that, no matter _what_ happens, if Kakkarot should mess this up he was a dead man.

"But Veggie, what if a crazed fan jumps on stage with a…a… _needle_!" Goku cried. "What then?"

"Then you whimper on the floor like a small child whilst I hit him with my infernal machine."

"Oh, that's alright then," Goku said with a grin. "Isn't it?"

"Yes, Kakkarot, it is," Vegeta said with narrowed eyes, and then sighed. "Have we got a set-list we can use?"

"Well we've done quite a bit ofnew stuff lately. I was thinking we should start doing our own songs," Mirai volunteered.

"What… like make stuff up?" Vegeta asked.

"Sorta," Mirai conceded. "I think we could get a couple of songs done easy if we work hard."

"Listen brat," Vegeta said, "nobody works harder than a Saiyan."

"What about a hungry saiyan? They work really hard." Goku added.

"What? A hungry Saiyan is still a Saiyan, Kakkarot."

"Ye-es, but there's a clear devide between the two."

"How do you work that one out then?" Vegeta asked, folding his ams over his chest.

"Well one is hungry, and the other isn't," Goku answered. "Gees, Vegeta. You're supposed to be smart."

"Don't make me hit you," Vegeta said, his voice sounding oddly friendly.

"Oh I'd never do that!" Goku said innocently. "I'm too innocent and cuddly to make you do…"

Vegeta's bass was a blur and it hummed through the air and caught Gogu in the back of the head. He stood motionless for a moment, a happy, deluded exopresison on his face, before toppling backover onto the floor, his unblinking eyes and deranged grin staring up at the ceiling. This unnerved Vegeta so much that he covered Goku's face with Napa.

"Now as I was saying," Vegeta continued. "We should be able to get several of our own songs up and running in the two weeks we have to prepare. So let's get to it. Kakkarot, think up some licks on the guitar for us." Silence. "Kakkarot?"

There was a pause, and then a muffled voice came from Napa's nether regions. Another muffled voice. And then a scream of realisation. Goku's legs twitched and kicked, his arms flailed about, and then there was a golden explosion of light before Napa shot skyward.

Goku stood up panting and attempting to spit out the wretched taste of Napa's backside, although this endeavour turned out to be a waste of time.

"Kakkarot. Licks. Now." Vegeta said, sternly.

"Please, don't mentions 'licking' for at _least_ a month," Goku moaned, resisting the urge to puke.

"Very well," Vegeta said. "But can you give us a guitar tune?"

"Uh, something like this?" Goku's fingers moved over the strings, and the guitar wailed. The Saiyans listened, and it was good. Even Vegeta was impressed.

"yes, yes. Something like that will do indeed. Now, turnthat into ome sort of steady tune. Raditz, come up with a nice chugging rhythm. I'll match yopu, and Kakobrat…"

"Hey!" Gohan objected.

"…will drum out a beat. Okay? Good. Let's go."

And so the band steadily worked out the tune to their song whilst Mirai listened and thought about lyrics. He thought hard as Death Saiyan played through their new song several more times, each member interjecting with ideas or suggestions. The song began to change. It slowed down, became twangier, some pieces were repeated whilst others were dropped. Eventually Mirai had it, and he broached it to the others.

"All hail _who_!" Vegeta cried in disgust.

"Frieza, dad," Mirai replied.

"I am _not_ going to play a song devoted to that kiddy fiddling lizard!"

"It isn't a devotion dad. It's sarcasm. A sneer. Listen, I'll go through the lyrics with you. Okay?" Vegeta hesitated, then allowed his alternative son to continue. "I'm a bit hazy on some of the lines, but they can be ironed out later. But that's the general gist of it."

"Heh, heh, heh," Vegeta chuckled. "I quite like it now. Okay, we can do it. Let's try it in full, with vocals."

The band agreed and they let rip with their new song. Mirai sang like he'd never sang before, and Vegeta's bass thrummed and boomed through the chamber. They all agreedit was exhilarating, and added it to their routine.

"Well, that was easier than I'd imagined," Gohan said after the hum of the guitars died away, "one song in only a couple of hours. If we keep this up, we could have an entire set-list and enough material for a couple of albums."

"This is indeed most agreeable," Vegeta agreed, nodding his head. "C'mon, let's get another one done quickly. Kakkarot, jam if you please!"

"Jam?" Goku asked, breaking into a grin.

"Did he say jam?" Turlus asked.

"He did, he said jam!" Brolli cried.

"You know what this means!" Raditz yelled excitedly, hurling his guitar away.

"Oh no…" Vegeta moaned.

"TO THE KITCHEN!" everybody else cried, and charged for the doorway. Vegeta yelped and dived aside as the crush of Saiyans rumbled passed jabbering excitedly about jam. When the crescendo of feet dispersed, Vegeta was left alone with Mirai and Gohan. The three of them exchanged glances, and Mirai gave a shrug.

"Oh sod this," Vegeta said after a lengthy silence and trooped off after the others.

He found them in the nearest kitchen, pestering the latest chef to be employed by the briefs family. This one, however, was standing the rigors of being yelled at by a small, belligerent person who claimed he was a prince and the constant yammering and braying of his friends. Frederick, for twas his name, loaded the industrial-size toaster with as much bread as he could find and had ordered the largest jar of jam to be opened. It was strawberry jam, and when this fact was announced a great cheer went up.

The toast baked, and the butter and jam were applied, and the Saiyans stood around stuffing their faces with as much toast as they possibly could whilst shouting "Food break!" at each other. Frederick watched them with an air of bemusement about him, and then returned to work preparing the dinner for a group of medical officers who had visited the Capsule Corporation headquarters. Bulma had re-created one of Frieza's regeneration tanks, and was holding a meeting with various parties whom would be interested in such a device, whether they were medical, commercial or military. Despite the already increased rate of cellular regrowth that the regenration tanks offered, Bulma was convinced that she could improve upon them ten-fold, and this item of news increased the interest of the buying parties exponentially. A cure for cancer… human longevity… battlefield medical packs that could close a fatal wound in moments… all of this was feasible for a price. And everybody wanted a piece of this medical revolutionary pie.

But none of this interested the Saiyans, all they were concerned about now was toast. Lots of toast. With jam. And they weren't leaving until they had their fill! Vegeta decided to leave them to it after it bacem apparent that they wouldn't be budging for some time, so he went to his private study and cackled for a while as he plotted dastardly things to do to Kakkarot, many of them involving small fluffy kittens booby-trapped with needles.

* * *

The week wore on, and the following week went past quickly, and soon it was time for the band to prepare for their big gig. 18 had hired a stage crew for the event, and they handled the set up of the equipment and instruments, much to Vegeta's annoyance. 18 oversaw everything, and made sure everything was set up to the exact standards she laid down for the night. Death Saiyan would be the supporting band, but by God they would be the best thing ever! She foresaw zeni rolling in through the windows for this if it all went well and certain Saiyans didn't do anything stupid (she stole glances at Brolli, Napa and Goku as they prepared themselves and prayed).

Vegeta watched the hired goons moving everything as some annoying serving wench applied his makeup. Goku appeared wearing his ridiculous uniform with the cap perched precariously on the crest of his hair, and grining rediculosuly, a sight which caused a shudder to run up Vegeta's spine.

"Why do you insist n wearing that foolish outfit?" the Prince enquired as the wench plastered the white face paint over Vegeta's features.

"I think it looks neat," Goku said, twirling.

"It only accomplishes in making you look a twerp, now take it off."

"No," Goku said.

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Yes."

"Oh…" Vegeta paused for a moment to allow the wench to circumnavigate his mouth before speaking again. "Well, don't do anything stupid."

"I won't," Goku said, peaking out from the wings and watching the evnts on stage. The hired goons where placing the guitars on stands and making sure that the plectrums where attached to the mike stands. Vegeta's bass guitar gleamed with an oily radiance. The crowed were cheering and jeering at the stage hands, who ignored them, until one of them moved over to the microphone.

"One, two. One two," he started repeating.

"That guy can't count!" Goku cried, pointing an accusing finger.

"One two, two one," the mike tester repeated. "One two, one two."

"Four!" Goku shouted helpfully.

The mike tester moved over to the guitars and strummed them, playing a few power chords, checking they were in tune.

"That's my guitar. Why's he playing my guitar?" Goku asked, concerned. "KEEP YER HANDS OFF'VE ROSIE!" Goku cried in horror.

"Rosie?" Vegetas asked.

"Yeah, I anmed my guitar."

"Why rosie?"

"'Cos it's red. Like a rose."

"Kakkarot?" vegeta asked, as the make up wench mpoved onto the black design covering Vegeta's eyes and temples.

"Yes?"

"You're an idiot."

"hey!"

"heh, heh he- … _GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF'VE MY GUITAR!" _Vegeta screamed, as the technician picked up the bass and plucked the chordes. He gave a strangled yelp and pulled his hand away, and blood poured from a nasty cut on his hand. "Heh heh heh, that's my boy!" Vegeta crowed in triumph. Gohan appeared and stood beside them.

"What's happening?" he asked.

"Some baka is playing our instruments," Vegeta said, folding his arms over his chest. "Don't think he'll try that again in a hurry."

"Oh, he's a tech. He's just making sure they're all in tune and working."

"Well of course they're working. We woulnd't be _using_them if they weren't working."

"Yeah, but,"

"Listen, brat. If some dumb human is going to go around playing other peoples instruments he deserves what he gets."

"Eh?" Gohan lost. The Prince had gone off on a tangent and had lost Gohan. "But…"

"But nothing. Nobody should play another mans thingy."

"What are you drivelling on about?" Mirai asked, pulling on a pair of fingerless leather gloves as he approached. He wore a pair of tight-fitting leather trousers and a leather waist coat. Vegeta looked his son up and down and raised an eyebrow, then shrugged.

"Oh, nothing," he said, and watched the events on stage. Drum beats boomed out across the hall, and a second tech (wearing thick gloves and brandishing a metal plectrum) appeared to test out the bass once again.

"Heh, he's in for a surprise," Vegeta grinned. As the Man flashed down with the plec, there was a 'whum' noise, and a barely audible tinkling noise as the plectrum was cleaved neatly into six parts and tumbled to the floor. The tech looked down at the bass, then hastily returned it to it's stand and backed away muttering prayers and warding himself against demons.

"What exactly did you _do_ to that bass?" Gohan asked.

"Sharpened the strings," Vegeta grinned, and shooed the make-up woman away as she finished. Movement to the right caught his eye, and he turned to see Number 18 walk towards them, followed by Radiz.

"Are we nearly set?" Vegeta asked her.

"Almost. Just a few more sound checks to be made, and then you'll get your cue to enter the stage," 18 replied. She peered out at the crowd and smiled. "Looks like quite the turnout, I hear the venue sold out and we're at maximum capacity. People are even crowded around in the streets outside trying to hear some of the concert."

"Excellent. Soon they shall hear Death Saiayn, and they shall become our slaves!" Vegeta said, smiling evilly. Everybody edged away from him. "Stop doing that!"

Vegeta glared at the rest of the band members as on stage, the final sound checks were carried out. Soon, Death Saiyan were ushered on stage, and they took up their positions at their instruments. The crowd cheered for the sake of cheering, many of them not knowing who the hell these people were. Mirai soon endeavoured to correct this and he stepped up to the mic and drew it close.

"HERCULE CITY! ARE YOU READY TO ROCK!" he screamed. The crowd cheered and went wild. "WE ARE DEATH SAIYAN! REMEMBER THAT NAME! DO YOU LIKE IT HEAVY!"

"YEAH!" the crowed cried.

"DO YOU LIKE IT FAST!"

"YEAH!" the crowd cried.

"DO YOU LIKE IT _DIRTY_!"Mirai jeered.

"YEAH!" The crowed replied.

"Then you better get ready to rock out, boys and girls, because we're about to fucking own you all!"

And with that, Goku's arm swept down and the guitar screamed across the arena. The crowd fell silent for a moment as the sound died away, and the entire band broke into one of their songs. It was fast, it was heavy, and the crowd loved every minute of it. It didn't take long for the mas sof people to become a sea of movement. People jumped around, threw their hands into the air, piled together into knots and hurled themselves about. It was chaos, and Vegeta watched it all happen with a sneer. They had become his puppets. Soon they would do whatever was asked of them.

* * *

The gig continued, and as the band played more, the crowd became louder and louder. They started hurling items onto stage; small sweets, empty drinks bottles, balls of paper, and Mirai was even targeted by items of ladies underwear. He picked up a purple thong and wore it on his head like a hat for half the show, and as he slipped the garment on, a high shriek went up from all the girls. The heat on stage grew, and Mirai unbuttoned his waist coat, giving the crowd full view of his body. The women shrieked even louder and the girls at the barrier grasped towards him imploringly.

The set was almost at a close, and the band stepped up the tempo even more by playing a song they had learned long ago. It was very fast and very heavy, and it left the crowed baying for more and chanting their name as they played through it. Mirai's vocals ended, and as Goko, Vegeta and Raditz played through their solos, Mirai took several steps back and ran forward, launching himself into the crowed. He vanished into a sea of hands with a yelp.

The show ended, and Death Saiyan left the stage quickly, heading for their dressing room. They passed the main act as they did so.

"You guys were fucking awesome, man!" one of them cried. "You guys are playing with us more often!"

"Perhaps," Vegeta said. "Or maybe we'll invite you to play with us in the future.

The prince left them and followed the others into the dressing room, and slumped against a wall.

"Pass me a beer," he said as he slid down it. Brolli hurled the tin towards the Prince, and left an indentation in the wall. Beer exploded everywhere as the can ruptured, soaking everybody in sticky suds.

"Well, at least I'm cool. Now pass me some cold water. _Pass_ it this time, don't hurl it."

The water was tossed through the air and Vegeta's arm flashed out and caught it. He ripped the top off and poured the contents over himself. The makeup ran, leaving a black and white mingled mess down his face and chest, but Vegeta didn't care. He just drank more water and then hit the beer. He was through his seventh tin when the door burst open, revealing a traumatised-looking Mirai, wearing nothing but his expression, his hands covering his naughty bits.

"They _raped_ me!" he sobbed as he slumped against the door.

"That's it my son!" Vegeta crowed. "Show them what the Briefs are made of!"

"I'm not wearing any briefs…" Mirai wailed and took about drowning his sorrows in beer. The others gradually joined in with the drinking, and soon Napa was sent out on a mission to locate hard liquor. After finding Mirai some new clothes, the Saiyans trooped out into the night, in search of alcohol and exitement after their greatest night yet!

* * *

**AN:** I haven't updated in a while I know, sorry, but I'm finding it harder and harder to find the time to do everything. That and sometimes I just can't think of the words I want to use or how to progress the chapters. I apologise profusely.

And for those who wish to know, the songs Death Saiyan 'made up' will be parodies of songs and will be added in full after the story ends.

Until next time,

Paul.


	18. Whiskey In The Jar

Disclaimer: I-Live-in-your-eyes

Chapter Eighteen – Whiskey In the Jar

They were drunk, they were happy, they were acting weird again. Goku and Mirai were scrapping in the ruins of yet another pub, Vegeta and Brolli were repenting for their sins (including the latest one of kidnapping a Catholic priest) and Gohan was parading about the square, proclaiming himself the greatest being ever. It wasn't long before the women-folk arrived, Bulma once again sporting a tranquilliser gun, to herd the Saiyans back home. The landlord cowered behind the remains of his bar as Chi-Chi, Bulma, Videl, Fru, and Cucumbri stalked forward brandishing assorted weaponry (all right. Frying pans) and got them all into the capsule corp. airbus Bulma had brought along.

The air bus took off, and is it rose into the air it lurched to the side violently. A sharp _clang_ rang through the air followed by an agonising scream, and a green pulse of light lept from the air bus' windows.

"I'm so sorry, are you alright?" Brolli asked Goku, who was lying in a smouldering heap on the floor.

"Oh so that's what it's all about huh?" Goku roared and leapt to his feet. Before anybody else could respond, Goku had charged towards Brolli and had attempted to headbutt him, only to have Brolli catch him by the face and dangle him off the floor.

"Please, don't. I don't want to hurt you," Brolli pleaded, his face anguished.

"Leave off!" Goku screamed, his arms and legs flailing in the air.

"Oh, behave," Napa said, rather camply.

"Fuck off, baldy!" Mirai snarled. "This is the best entertainment on this dingy little rock."

"Yeah. Let's watch them scrap it out," Gohan prompted them.

"Don't make me use the pan again!" Videl warned.

"You wouldn't!" Gohan teased. _Clang! _"Okay, so you would. Big deal. I could snap you like a tw-" _CLANG!_ "Alright, that does it!" _CLANG!_

"Did you really have to hit him so hard?" Chi-Chi asked, inspecting the ripped remains of her favourite frying pan and then dropped it onto Gohan's unconscious body.

"I didn't want to go through all that again," Videl sighed. "Hey, where's Vegeta and Bulma?"

"You don't want to know," Cukumbri said, rolling her eyes. Inquisitive silence filled the room, only to be broken by a loud squeal of delight and a girlish giggle.

"That was Vegeta's voice!" Chi-Chi cried.

"I think I'm going to be sick…" Videl muttered, running tot he window and sticking her head out.

"Vegie, behave! We're in public!" they heard Bulma pant.

"My lust for you knows no bounds, my love! Let us share our passion with the whole world!"

"… since you put it that way…"

"For the love of god, put some loud music on!" Tomatta shouted quickly. There was an urgent rush for the stereo, which ended up in a large brawl.

"Get your hands off've me, human!" Goku shouted, elbowing Mirai aside.

"You and what army, mouth-breather!" Mirai retorted, kicking Goku in the crotch. The Saiyan went down like a tonne of bricks and whimpered in the corner as the others tried to clamber past. Finally they resolved their quest, and Turlus flicked on the radio with a triumphant gesture.

"Hoh yeah! I rock!" he crooned. "Now, where's the whiskey?"

"You're not having another drop, buster!" Chi-Chi threatened, hefting another pan. Turlus whimpered and hid behind Brolli.

"What's the matter, scared of a little girl?" Mirai teased. Moments later, he too was a whimpering mass on the floor clutching his head.

"Little girl, eh?" Chi-Chi sneered. "Hush, boy, or I'll give you a spanking!"

"Kinky," Turlus scoffed from behindthe relative safty of Mount Brolli.

* * *

And so the flight back to CC was an eventful one. The Saiyans were unloaded into the gravity chamber and left to their own devices for the rest of the night, whilst Bulma and Chi-Chi kept a close eye on what was going on. It wasn't long before the door opened and a bald head popped round the corner.

"What are you waiting for? Get going!" Goku urged, and shoved Napa out into the corridor.

"But, what if _they_'_re_ waiting for me? Like an ambush?" Napa replied.

"Then run away," Goku said, and the door slammed closed. Napa stood blinking at the reinforced portal for a momen, and then looked around. A shadow moved down the way, and the large Saiyan fled, whimpering. Something else moved up ahead, and he screamed, and bolted through the nearest window with a crash.

Chi-Chi and Bulma emerged from the shadows,rendezvousing at the broken window and stared out into the night as a blue glow disappeared quickly into the city.

"Well where do you suppose he's off to in such a hurry?" Bulma asked.

"Beats me," Chi-Chi replied. "But you can bet he's up to no good."

Bulma thought about this. "Twenty zenii says you're wrong."

"You're an idiot, do you know that?" Chi-Chi answered.

"What's the matter, you chicken?" Bulma replied.

"What! Alright, that's it girl. Fifty zenii says I'm right. Put your money where your mouth is you little trollop!"

"Trollop! Why I've never been so insulted in my life!" Bulma said, pressing her nose against Chi-Chi's

"That's just for starters! For shame!"

"Shame? What do I have to be ashamed of!"

"That little exhibition on the way home!"

"Oh don't be such a prude!" Bulma cried. "Just because you're not getting any!"

"Who told you that!" Chi-Chi shrieked.

"I don't need to be told you uppity bitch," Bulma smirked. "You're such a prude."

"I am not prudent!" Chi-Chi snapped. "I'm just careful."

"Careful about not getting laid, jeez, no wonder you're so uptight,"

"That's not what I meant!" yelled Chi-Chi, Bulma's hair flying back in the waves.

"Getting rather defencive about it, aren't we," Bulma smiled.

"Oooooh, you're worse than that android!" Chi-Chi growled.

"Hey! Don't you _dare_ compare me to that jumped-up circuit board!" Bulma replied.

"How can I not? You're both uppity wenches who only think of one thing."

"I'm not always thinking about money!" Bulma squeled.

"I never said what your one thing was, your dirty little whore."

"Dirty!" Bulma shouted. "Whore!" She squeaked. "Why you narrow minded, pretentious little… swineherd!"

"Swineherd!" Chi-Chi cried. "Ooooh, you're asking for it missy."

"Bring it on!" Bulma shouted. "A hundred zenii says I kick your ass!"

"What's your problem! Why're you always gambling!"

"Uh… I'm not…"

"Everytime something happens you're betting me."

"Yeah? So? It's my money, I can do what I like with it."

"Why don't you just play the lottery or something? Like any _normal_ person."

"You're saying I'm abnormal?"

"You dated Yamcha for a _long_ while."

"… touché," Bulma conceded.

"And then dumped him for _Vegeta_."

"You say that like it's a bad thing…"

"He tried to kill you. Several times."

"That was in the past."

"And then he turned evil again and tried to kill everybody else."

"Midlife Crisis," Bulma answered.

"And the time he wushed Brolli to earth to kill everyone?"

"For fuck's sake, Chi-Chi, everybody makes mistakes!"

"Yeah, not so many _fatal_ ones as your husband though!"

"Well what about Goku!" Bulma shouted.

"…What about him?"

"He's not exactly Mister Intelligent is he?"

"At least he's _safe_!"

"So long as he isn't patting you on the back, or punching you in the arm jovially, or anything else."

"So he's a little clumsy…" Chi-Chi said.

"Just a little? How many times has he wrecked the house?"

"Um… well…"

"And your old house?"

"Urm…"

"And just how many times has he gotten us into trouble?"

"Yeah, but at least my Goku _saves_ the world instead of trying to destroy it!"

"… touche," chi-chi conceded again.

* * *

And so the bickering continued. Both the women had completely forgotten about Napa, who come to a halt outside of a large 24/7 convenience store and was staring up at the neon lighting.

"Ooooh, pretty…" he murmured, completely raptured by the flashing blue and red lights. Particularily the ones that flashed "Hot" and "Food." He reached into his pocket and brought out a credit card. It had the words "platinum" emblazoned on it, and it had been pressed into his hand by Vegeta after much shouting.

Napa was on a quest! Napa was on a mission! He felt his chest swell with pride, it had been a long time since Vegeta had entrusted him to perform any sort of important task, and Vegeta had assured him that this task was incredibly important.

The bald Saiyan took a deep breath, and walked through the doors. That is to say that Napa didn't open the door and then stepped through the open doorway, he simply stepped _through_ the door, accompanied by the sound of shattering glass.

"I hope you're going to pay for that!" the shop clerk gasped in absolute horror. Napa looked at the puny little human vibrating with absolute rage, and then looked at the door. The thought had crossed his mind to simply crush the worm and be done with it, like in the good old days when he and Vegeta had bummed across the galaxy meeting many interesting people and then eating their remains when they grew bored of pummelling them. But he reflected that Vegeta might not be very happy, and that wench he lived with _certainly_ wouldn't be very happy, and when _she_ wasn't happy, Napa didn't get fed. So it was a good idea to stay on her good side. At least Vegeta just hit him, Bulma , Napa firmly believed, resorted to mental warfare. And seeing as Napa wasn't very mentally endowed, he invariably lost. Often embarrassingly. And often with Vegeta, Trunks, orboth of them, sniggering at his discomfort.

Napa remembered the credit card. Vegeta said it would pay for _anything_. Napa looked back to the clerk and held up the small, almost insignificant, piece of plastic.

"Uh… will this do?" he asked.

The clerk's eyes glazed over. "Um… yes…yes… that'll do nicely," he serenly, almost plesently. "Is there anything else sir requires?" Napa told him. "Oh, well, we have what's on the shelves at the back."

And so Napa lumbered away, browsing through the shelves, looking for the items he had been demanded to retrieve.

* * *

Back in the gravity chamber, Goku and Mirai were brawling in the corner whilst Vegeta stalked back and forth, clenching and relaxing his fists constantly. He was sobering up rapidly, and was getting annoyed at Brolli's constant attempts to console him, despite constant rebukes which sent the Legendary Super Saiayn recoiling in fits of tears. "Idiots," Vegeta muttered under his breath, then turned to look about the room. Their capsuled equipment sat in their reinforced box in the middle of the floor, where it had just been dumped by Bulma when they had been herded back into the gravety chamber. And from thence onwards, Vegeta had gradually returned to his normal state whilst the others acted completely abnormal. As soon as he had sobered up, Vegeta had been in a particularily foul mood, which he took out on Goku, who now sported a black eye (and wore it like some sort of "bad-ass badge").

"Where is that baldy baka," Vegeta growled. "I require intoxication!"

"You;'re a pussy Vegeta!" Goku screamed. "Can't hold your liquor!"

"Silence, clown!" Vegeta rasped, "before I black your other eye!"

"Not before I do it first!" Mirai yelled, charging at Goku. The pair of them tumbled about, flailing at each other and hurling insults like a common street brawl, and Vegeta shook his head sadly

"Pathetic," he whispered.

* * *

Napa rushed through the steets with several bundles under each large arm, making a bee-line for CC, and then skirted around the edge of the main building towards the shattered window. He arrived, and stood and watched in amazement as, rolling about on the floor, were Chi-Chi and Bulma. Chi-Chi was trying to bounce Bulma's head off the floor, and Bulma had Chi-Chi by the hair and was pulling viciously.

Napa stood and watched them for some time, then sat down on the lawn and carefully laidthe packages on the ground. He opened one, and took out a bottle of beer, ripping the cap off with ease and tossing it behind him. He downed the golden-brown liquid and took another, watching the specticle unfold before him.

"Heh heh heh," he chuckled as these two women rolled about and fought, clawing at each other like alley cats. He drank more and watched more, and eventually opened one of the oher packages and brought out packets of crisps, which he devoured endlessly, pouring packet after packet into his beastly maw. Yes folks. Napa's maw is _beastly!_ Beastly, says I!

The women rolled, and fought, and called each other names, and scratched, and clawed, and pulled hair, and spat, and called each other more names, then rolled apart, regained their breath, and then went back at it hammer and tongs. And Napa was having a wail of a time! He had drink, he had snacks… all that was missing was company. So Napa decided to go get them.

"They're what?" Vegeta asked, raising his eyebrow after Napa had explained the situation inside the gravity room.

"Bitch slapping each other outside on the lawn," Napa said, excitedly hopping from one foot to the other. The overall effect was like watching a large, bald trifle, and it was making Goku feel hungry. His stomach growled loudly, just to emphasise this statement.

"But, why?"

"Who cares!" Napa exclaimed. "It's _entertaining!_"

"I bet you breakfast that Chi-Chi wins," Goku grinned.

"That's a pretty major bet you've placed there, Kakkarot," Vegeta said. "I take your bet, and raise it by lunch."

"You're on!" Goku smirked, not wanting to be outdone by prince pineapple head.

"Can we please just _go_ and watch this, before they finish!" Brolli urged, now sober and in the mood for a good giggle. Two wenches slapping each other would suffice.

"Fine, fine. Let's fellow the stupid, flatulent one then," Vegeta said, urging Napa onwards, who farted, also to emphasise the point. So Vegeta hit him.

* * *

When Napa came to, he was lying on the cool grass outside, and a night breeze was blowing across his prone body. A multitude of whoops and cries came from nearby, and when he sat up, the others were camped upon the grass, cheering on Chi-Chi and Bulma as they fought. Eventually, the battle-lust took over the Saiyans, and they all began brawling on the lawn in a raging free-for-all, laughing and giggling like little schoolgirls as they flailed about at each other in a semi-drunken stupor. It wasn't long before the first of them blasted into Super Saiyan, and then all those that could followed suit. The golden fighting ball of flesh rose into the air, the combatants still laughing and giggling, and then was blasted apart by an intense green flare.

Brolli remained fixed in the space above capsule corporation, and across the city there could be heard various screams and shouts, and the occasional explosion. It took the others a short while to return, and most of them were gibbering excitedly. And many of them were clutching souvenirs.

"I landed in a kitchen!" Goku exclaimed happily, his mouth covered in a variety of food-related stains. "It was _huge_ and it was full of food! I thought I'd died and gone to heaven."

"Kakarot, but you've been to heaven," Vegeta said. "And you know for a fact that's not what it looks like."

"Oh… yeah," Goku said, scratching the back of his head. "Well, maybe it's a sort of food heaven? Where food goes when it's been good."

"No Kakarot, it was a kitchen," Vegeta replied.

"How can food be good?" Turlus asked, clutching a shop mannequin clad in a hawaiian shirt, bemuda shorts and sunglassesunder his arm.

"Well, food that tastes great goes to food heaven," Goku explained. "And food that doesn't just floats in the rancid sewers of Food Hell, where the great demon Ronald McDonald salts them and douses them in fat until the end of all time."

There was a stunned silence. "You're a mook," Vegeta replied eventually.

"Thanks!" Goku beamed.

"That was an insult, you fool."

"Oh," Goku replied, deflated a little, but still undeterred from his visions of Food Heaven. "And in food heaven, the food is served up as gormy accordion bleugh!"

"Gormy accordion bleurgh?" Mirai asked, a small hamster poking its head out from his cupped hands.

"I think he means "Gourmet Cordon Bleu,"" Gohan translated.

"Gohan?"

"Yes Dad?"

"Why are you hiding a traffic cone and a police woman's hat behind your back?"

"I don't know, it just seemed like the proper thing to do."

"You take them back this instant, I'll not have a son as my thief," he admonished, then paused. "Or a thief as my son."

"But dad, you stole an entire kitchen's contents!" Gohan complained.

"That's not true," Goku replied. "I… uh… merely liberated them from their harsh repressors and gave them a good home."

"You mean your stomach, you glutton," Vegeta said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yup!" Goku said, grinning and giving his stomach a triumphant pat.

"You really are something else, cousin," Tomatta said with a smile, a state of the art home entertainment system, fully boxed, held on his shoulder.

"What are you going to do with that?" Brolli asked, looking at the huge box set.

"Well, I was thinking of hooking it up at the flat," Tomatta replied.

"Why?" Brolli asked. "We don't have a television."

"I was thinking we could attach it to the hi-fi or something…"

"If any of us had doubts about your kinship to Kakarot," Vegeta smirked, "they have just been dashed into a thousand pieces by that phrase which was truely worthy of Kakarot."

The more intelligent members of the group laughed whilst the others tried to work out what had just been said.

"But… he _is_ my cousin…" Goku pointed out, perplexed.

"It was a joke, Kakarot," Turlus explained.

"No, I've heard jokes before. They go like "Knock Knock," or "why did the chicken cross the road?" or… or… "an Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman""

Vegeta stared at Goku for a long, uncomfortable moment. "Get out," he said.

"But, Vegie, we _are_ out."

"Just shut up you damned fool."

"But you just said get out and we are out and I'm just pointing out that…"

"_Strike him centurion!"_ Vegeta screamed.

"And throw him to the floor sir?" Brolli asked with a grin.

("Oooh not you as well…" Mirai groaned in the background)

"Oh yes, throw him to the floor please!" Vegeta cried.

And so it was done. Brolli cuffed Goku with the back of his hand, and together with Napa, seized the hapless clown and threw him to the floor. Then the four of them collapsed to the floor laughing with cries of "WELEASE WODGER!" and "WOODOLPH THE WED NOSED WEINDEER!"

Mirai decided that he'd had enough when they all four of themstarted reciting the "What have the Romans ever done for us!" routine, word for word, and so went to his bedroom and locked the door and began plotting.

However, unbeknownst to the others, Trunks had been watching the antics on the lawn, and had taken the opportunity to sneak into another of their rooms with another glass of water…

**AN:** Why is the idea of the Saiyans being big fans of Monty Python so damn funny! When me and Shind0 came up with the idea off the Saiyans doing Monty Python routines in highschool/college (note to non-UK readers: college isn't university), our friends thought it was a work of genius and before long there was a large group of us sitting around a table, with pen and paper, working out which character should be in which sketch…

Anyway, be sure to stay tuned. Because the second-greatest Dragonball Z villain (in my humble opinion) is about to make his return…


	19. The Frayed Ends Of Vegeta's Sanity

Disclaimer: Three claws on his knees (he's not human!)

Chapter Nineteen:

The Frayed Ends of Vegeta's Sanity (AKA: Vegeta's second crazy dream)

It was so late that it was early when the Prince of all Saiyans retired to his bedroom. He stripped down and pulled on a fresh pair of boxer shorts before sitting on the edge of the bed and reached out for the glass of water that was sitting on the bedside table. He drank about half of the tall glass, and laid down on the soft mattress, stretching himself out with a relaxed sigh. He felt a, battered, bruised and grass-stained Bulma stir beside him and murmur something about frigid wenches in her sleep, and he raised an eyebrow at his mate.

"silly woman," he chuckled and rolled onto his side, closing his eyes and drifting off into a deep sleep…

* * *

Vegeta awoke to the sound of hoof beats and the jolting movements of a horse, and his hand was outstretched as though he were holding reigns. However, there was no horse attached to the end of them, and when he looked down, he was bounding across a field in a hopping-skipping motion. Perplexed, he looked about, and saw Napa following a short distance behind him, clopping to halved and hollowed-out coconut shells together. 

"Napa… what are you doing?" Vegeta asked.

"Making horse noises, my king," Napa replied matter-of-factly. This explanation sounded extremely reasonable to Vegeta, so he let it pass with a shrug. As he glanced back to Napa, he became aware of other clippity-clop noises coming from about him, and as he turned he saw others following him dressed in armour. To his right was Kakarot (followed by Gohan baring coconut shells) and Mirai (followed by Yamcha), and to his left was Tomatta (followed by Brolli) and Turlus (followed by Tien, Krillin, Goten and Trunks, all dressed as minstrels and playing various harps, lutes and lyres).

All this seemed to be a perfectly normal situation, and he distinctly remembered meeting Tomatta in a castle, where he used his brilliant scientific mind to prove that Chi-Chi was a witch and have her burned at the stake. Ah, how he had enjoyed the event, and he had been sufficiently impressed as to ask Tomatta to become part of his council at… at what? He couldn't quite remember. All he knew was that damned Namek had appeared to him in a vision and had bestowed upon them the quest for the Whole Senzu Bean, which seemed perfectly reasonable to him.

And now, here they were, approaching a large grey castle, with the intent to ask for the lord's aid in their quest. They rode on for a while longer, and before long they had arrived at the foot of the castle's mighty walls. Vegeta reigned in his pretend horse, not in the least feeling like a right prat for crying "Woah there!" (Behind him, Napa and the other coconut-bearers made a frantic clip-clopping nosie with their half-shells as the other knights pulled up behind their king).

"Hallo!" Vegeta cried up at the battlements. "Hallo!"

"'Allo? Oo iz eet?" came the response in a dodgy French accent, and Frieza's head popped up from the battlements above them.

"It is King Vegeta," Vegeta replied, then gestured behind him, "and these are the knights of the Z-table. Who's castle is this?"

"This is the castle of my Master, Cold de Chaud," Frieza replied.

"Go tell your master that we have been charged by that blasted Namek with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our holy quest for the Whole Senzu Bean."

"Well, I'll ask eem, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Uh… he's already got wurn, you see," Frieza replied.

"What!" Vegeta asked, perplexed.

"He says they've already got one, Dad," Mirai replied.

"I heard brat," Vegeta growled, then turned his attention back up to Frieza. "Are you _sure_ he's got one?"

"Oh yes, Itz very nice-a," Frieza answered, nodding his head. He then turned and whispered to Zarbon and Dodoria who were listening in. "I told zem we've already got wurn," he sniggered, and the others giggled.

"Well… uh… can we come up and have a look?" Vegeta asked.

"Of course not!" Frieza cried, outraged. "You are silly English types-a!"

"Well what are you then!" Vegeta cried.

"I'm French! Why do you think I 'ave zis outrrrrageous accent you silly king!"

"What are you doing in England?" Mirai asked with a puzzled frown.

"Mind your own business!" Frieza snapped.

"If you do not show us the Senzu, we shall take your castle by force!" Vegeta growled.

"You don't frighten us, English monkey-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so called Vegeta-king, you and all your silly English kerrrr-niggits! Thrrrppppt!" Frieza mocked, placing his thumb on the end of his nose and blowing a raspberry as he waggled his slender fingers.

"What a strange person," Mirai said, glancing up at Vegeta.

Vegeta ignored him, and shot a patented deathglare at Frieza. "Now look here my good man!"

"I don't want to talk to you no more! You empty headed animal food trough waiter! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!" Frieza cried.

"Is there someone else up there we could talk to?" Mirai asked hopefully.

"No, now go away, before I taunt you a second time-a!" Frieza sniffed.

"Now, this is your last chance," Vegeta snarled, pointing a finger up at Frieza. "I've been more than reasonable."

"Faites chier la vache," Frieza said, turning to Zarbon.

"Quoi?" Zarbon replied, looking to Dodoria, who shrugged.

"Bring the cow!" Frieza replied, exasperated.

"Oooh!" Zarbon said as recognition dawned. "faites chier la vache!"

Vegeta stood glaring up at the smirking frieza on the battlements, thinking of what to do next. "If you do not agree to my commands then I shall--"

Vegeta's sentence was cut short by a loud reverberating twang and the shrieking, urgent MOOOOOO! as a cow was catapulted over the battlements, and crushed Yamcha into the ground.

"Jesus Christ! Right, charge!" Vegeta yelled, and ran towards the wall and began hitting it with his sword.

"Charge!" The other knights behind him cried and did the same.

"Zis wurn if for your mother!" Frieza cried, and the noise of another incoming cow filled the air.

"Run away!" the knights shouted, and frantically ran back to the safety of some nearby woodland as various cattle and poultry were hurled at them, but not before another cow fell from the sky, pinning Krillin to the ground with a shriek.

"Fiends! I'll tear them apart!" Goku shouted, leaping to his feet, but was soon pulled back into the woods by Vegeta and Mirai.

"No, Kakarot. You'll be killed, and I have repeatedly stated that I'm the only one allowed to do that."

"Sire," Tomatta smiled. "I have a plan…"

* * *

Frieza stood upon the battlements of Castile de Chaud's walls and looked out over the fields where the Saiyans had stood, and cackled to himself at his mastery over them. But they were fresh out of livestock now, and he had cravings for a boiled egg. 

His wistful thinkings were distracted by the sounds of sawing, hammering, and powertools in the woodlands where the Saiyans had retreated. He frowned and watched for a moment, and then opened his mouth in amazement as a large, wooden rabbit was wheeled out of the trees and into the open field. He ran down the steps, gathering Zarbon and Dodoria as he went, and opened the large castle gates, poking his head out to gape at this thing.

"C'est un lapin…" he murmured. "un lapin de bois."

"Wah?" Zarbon asked.

"Un cadeau."

"Cad,… eh?" Dodoria asked.

"A present!" Frieza shouted.

"Oh! Un cadeau!"

"Oui, oui. Hurry, let's go," Frieza said, and the three of them scurried out and dragged the wooden rabbit back into the castle.

Back in the woodland, peering through the bushes, Vegeta, Tomatta, Turlus, Goku and Mirai were watching the events with great interest.

"What happens now?" Vegeta asked.

"Well now, uh, Trunks, Goku and I wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise – not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!" Tomatta said excitedly.

Behind him, Goku groaned.

"Who, leaps out?" Vegeta asked, making sure he'd heard right.

"Uhh… Goku, Mirai and myself…" Tomatta repeated, and then closed his mouth when he saw the expression on Vegeta's face. "Um… I… Look, if we built this large wooden badger…"

"Oh shut up!"

There was a loud musical twanging noise from the direction of the castle, and when they looked up they saw their rabbit plummeting through the air towards them.

"Run away!" they all yelled, and legged it. Vegeta turned back, as he ran, and the rabbit struck him squarely in the face.

Vegeta sat bolt upright in bed, panting and sweating. He looked about at the bedroom, disorientated and confused, and he ran his hands through his hair.

"This is just getting fucking weird…" he murmured and reached out for another drink of water.

* * *

Several says passed, and Vegeta managed to last the course without the need to discuss the events of his dream with anybody, least of all his neurotic spouse or that limp-haired son of his from the future who seems to be obsessed with counselling and standing infront of the mirror wearing tight leather trousers and admiring himself. There are several things that no true Saiyan warrior must witness; your own son admiring himself in tight-fitting leather trousers is one of them, and as such is pretty near the top of said list. Vegeta shuddered at the image, and returned his attentions to his breakfast cereal, which he ate lazily (neither of them were going anywhere). He had just finished his third bowl and was pouring a fourth when the door opened and a familiar figure slinked in a sat opposite him. 

"Crunchy Corn?" Vegeta asked, offering the box to 18.

"No thanks, I've just eaten," 18 replied politely.

"I _thought_ I heard the cat yell," Vegeta said thoughtfully, and poured himself another helping. "What do you want, you over-grown tumble dryer?"

"I've come to tell you that Death Saiyan are going international."

"What does that involve?"

"Well, mostly, it involves travelling around the world, plugging your up-and-coming album."

"What album?"

"The one you've been contracted to record when you get back from your world tour."

"Oh," Vegeta said, eating a spoonful of cereal. "That's nice."

"You're not excited?"

"Nah," Vegeta said.

"But… isn't this what you wanted?"

"Yes."

"Then why aren't you excited?"

"Because it's too early in the morning for excitement. Give me about another… two hours."

18 looked at him, her eyebrow raised. "O-kay…" she said at length. "I've had the company mail you the exact details. They'll be arriving in the post by tomorrow morning at the latest."

"Alright, thank-you for the news," Vegeta said. "Now get the fuck off my property before I feed you to Brolli."

"Alright, alright. No need to get feisty," 18 said with a smirk, and left quietly.

Sure enough, the next morning Bulma left a letter on Vegeta's desk in his personal study and left without saying a word. Vegeta the letter a deathglare, and when he was reasonably happy that it wasn't trying to defy him, he slid a finger under the flap and ripped it open.

He took the documentation out, and read through the various letters and leaflets which detailed the world tour that Death Saiyan were about to embark on, playing gigs with various large-name bands across the globe. Vegeta drank in the details, and the possibilities became endless. His fans legion throughout the world, all bowing before him, worshiping him as their god! Maybe he should offer Kakarrot as sacrifice? He gave this thought some considerable consideration, and decided against it. However much of a baka he was, he was a better guitarist and Death Saiyan needed him.

The next day, Vegeta called a meeting in the gravity chamber, and when all the Saiyans had assembled he made sure the sound-proof seals were in place.

"We're about to take it to the next level," the Prince of all Saiyans announced with a smirk.

"It's not possible…" Goku gasped… "there's a level beyond the Gig?"

Vegeta gave Goku a long, cold stare. "Get out," he said quietly. "Right now. Before I _hurt_ you. Painfully."

"Aw c'mon Vegie, I was just joking…" Goku explained and then yelped as a bass guitar bounced off his forehead.

"I do not do jokes," Vegeta said with a harrumph.

"I hear that Bulma call's Vegeta's thingy a joke on a nightly basis," Raditz muttered to Turlus, who chuckled.

"What's so funny, Kakoclone?" Vegeta snapped.

"Raditz said you had a tiny pecker," Turlus replied quickly.

"I did not!" Raditz cried defensively. "Traiter," he added under his breath.

"Yeah yeah, you snooze, you loose," Turlus replied.

"Loose what?" Raditz asked.

"Your life," Vegeta said, something in his eye gleaming. It took them a second to realise that the gleam was actually a reflection of the ki-blast he had formed in his and was pointing at Raditz.

Eventually, the dust died down, and Brolli beat out the fire that had started in Raditz's hair, severaly concussing the large hairy guitarist in the process, and Vegeta resumed what he had begun moments earlier.

"As I was saiying," he begun. "We have been invited to go on a world tour. We leave in a week's time, and our first destination is Rome."

"But, I don't wanna go roaming," Goku whined, losing grip on the conversation. Again.

"No, not roam you dyslexic fool," Vegeta sighed. "Rome."

"Yeah? Roam."

"No, Rome!"

"I heard you the first time!" Goku cried.

"No you didn't you spikey haired goit!"

"My hair's not spikey, spikey!" Goku retorted.

"What'd you call me!"

"Spikey!"

"I am not French!" Vegeta roared.

"Huh?" Everybody else asked, completely and utterly confused.

"Uh… never mind…" Vegeta replied.

The others just looked at him, and he just glared at Goku. "We're going to Italy," he said patiently. "The capitol of which is known as "Rome"".

"Well why didn't you say so?" asked emploringly, rolling his eyes. "Gee Vegie, you can be pretty dumb sometimes."

"Kakarrot."

"Yes Vegie?"

"Shut up."

"Yes Vegie."

"Now, I suggest we get ja…" Vegeta hesitated, remembering the chaos that had occured the previous times he had used that word. "Practicing because we're doing quite a few gigs over the next few months. And then when we get home, we going into the studio to record an album."

"Ooooh, an album?" Goku asked excitedly. "What songs will we put on it?"

"Well, we'll obviously have to write more. I mean, we have… four right now?" The others nodded. "We should be able to think up another eight or so before the end of the tour. And then we'll release our album and then the whole world shall tremble before our prowess!"

"And then what?" Turlus asked.

"Uh… I haven't thought that far ahead," Vegeta admitted. "But be assured that whatever I think up will be hellishly fiendish and so mind bogglingly complex that Kakarrot will be flummoxed!"

"Vegeta, the concept of putting his pants on in the morning leaves Kakarrot flummoxed," Turlus replied.

"What pants?" Goku asked, tugging at the waistband of his trousers and peering into the murky depths. Everybody backed off with a look of disgust smeared across their faces.

Gohan groaned and let himself slowly slide down the wall. "I think I'm mentally scared for life…"

* * *

The following week went by quickly for the Saiyans who practically lived in the gravity chamber, only disappearing for raids to the kitchen or to see their significant others and avoid getting yelled at by them for never being home anymore. Goku and Gohan would regularly return with mild concussion, and the others would laugh at them. 

Meanwhile all over Italy, flyers were being posted in shop windows and on walls and on telegraph poles displaying the up-and-coming gigs in Rome, Milan, Naples, and Genoa. Tickets had been on salefor months now, but the support acts had been modified to include another band from the far east and new posters were being splashed up and broadcasts were being made to announce this news. Nobody in Italy cared. They just continued on with their lives by tootling by on scooters, saying "Ciao" and playing football.

However, in the Vatican, there was a major concern with a single person. Bishop Carcer paced back an forth in his chambers and muttered to himself. He was a tall, broad man, and his already pale face was even paler know.

"They're coming…" he groaned. "Oh gods, they're coming _here_. Damn you, Gokuuuu, why can't you just leave me in peace?"

The Bishop spent the rest of the week worrying, and even the Pope noticed the change in one of the most pious of his pupils, a bishop whom he spent hours arguing theology with, touching heavily on the subject on the divine infallibility that God had bestowed upon his creation when he made man in his image. Though it worried His Holiness when Carcer asked if only being part Man made him less perfect than Man. The Pope often consoled him by saying that everybody is perfect, in their own special way. This usually seemed to cheer the bishop up.

What also worried the pope is when Carcer continually denied the offer of being ordained a Cardinal on the grounds of "the hat won't fit."

* * *

The aeroplane touched down with the squeal of wheels on tarmac, and Goku gripped the chair arms so tightly that they cracked and splintered. 

"Kakarrot, you fly constantly. SO why are you scared of flying in a plane?" Vegeta asked, peering through the seats in front of him so he could see Goku.

"Because if I crash in the air, I just hurt my head. If we crash in this thing, there's a very good chance that we'll be turned into Saiyans In A Can."

Vegeta pondered this for a moment and opened his mouth to counter Goku's arguments, but changed his mind and settled for "Kakarrot, you're an idiot."

The troop of Saiyans wandered out into the Italian sun and Goku stared all about him. Already he could see the famous Roman ruins and Gohan's face became one of excitement.

"They've certainly let their standards slip," Goku said. "I mean, look at all the ruin. It looks like Brolli's been here and had a headache."

"I resent that," Brolli replied. "When I get a headache it's invariably _your_ fault and as such I'd look to pummel your face into the ground."

Goku swallowed hard. "I stand corrected."

They moved out into the terminal and collected their baggage, then went out into the foyer. A man was waiting on them with a placard reading "Death Saiyan" and Vegeta instinctively went over to him. The sunglass-wearing man stood rigidly and Vegeta prodded him in the midriff with a bony finger, sinking the digit up to the second knuckle. The man doubled over, his cheeks bulging with an "oof!" sound and Vegeta chuckled.

"We're Death Saiyan. Now take us wherever we're meant to be going," Vegeta commanded.

"Ce, ce," the man replied, and beckoned them. "Follow me, per favore," he said. The group followed the placard bearer and the exited into the street, and to a waiting minibus. They all jostled for seats, and the man sat down at the front next to the driver. They exchanged words in Italian, and the bus took off moments after the doors snapped closed with a hiss. The Italian leg off Death Saiyan's tour had just began, and Vegeta smiled an evil smile to himself. This would be interesting to say the least…

**AN** Well, there we have it. Death Saiyan are about to bring the Italians to their knees. And hopefully they won't demolish too many of their cities during their after-gig alcohol benders.

Also, anybody who can Name The Secret Villain in todays chapter gets, well, nothing. Some respect maybe? A free preview of the next saga (working title: "His Final Toy") in the Total War series? Yes, that may suffice. So leave your guess in a review (one guess per reader), along with a contact email address. And if you're very very lucky, you may find a document in your email in-box from (re: Prize Winner) in the near future.

(hint: it isn't Frieza)

If nobody gets it this round, I'll drop a few more clues in next chapter, "Rock In Roma"

Paulus


End file.
